Entertained last night. Our Finnish friends are leaving Singapore next Sunday so we had a dinner party. MMMMmmmmm. Loonni's day off so Kimberly had the kitchen to herself (Loonni made a yummy thai noodle salad and helped me with a dill potato salad ahead of time). I made some herb sourdough bread in the breadmaker, deviled eggs and I tried something new: Marinated chicken breasts and baby onions in a sun-dried tomato salad dressing (can't remember what brand), then broiled it (since we have no bbq). It was a hit!
We're going without sugar for a family "fast" this month. So dessert was fruit dipped in plain yogurt, and unsweetened coconut flakes or grapenuts...kind of like fondue without a flame.
Don't entertain much, but I'll tell you it's sure so much more fun when you have a Loonni to do all the clean up afterward!
7/21/2003
7/13/2003
A Kid with a Guilty Conscience...
2003 Tyler and his best friends Tom, Bob, and Ben (don't you love those Chinese names?)
Tyler had 3 10 year old boys over Friday afternoon and I had a heartbreaking conversation with one of them. He admitted to me that he had to lie to his parents to be in our house (YIKES). The boys normally have extra classes on Friday afterschool, but they were cancelled this week, so his folks thought he was still at school. His parents won't let him go to ANYONE'S house or have any friends over until he's 18...really sad. We talked about their rules being set in order to protect him from people with bad character, but he feels that he must lie to keep from being beaten, when he doesn't want to be a "liar." I asked him about his guilt in lying to them and whether it was worth it to come over. Maybe we can find ways to let them play without his lying to his parents. After we talked for awhile he said, "Thanks Auntie. Don't tell anyone what I told you about them, but it really kinda makes me feel better just to talk about it. My chest feels better.").
7/02/2003
Griping about Flaws in the School System
Today my child stayed home from school.
I’m being a responsible citizen.
I’m teaching my children to care for the welfare of his fellow man.
He was not feeling well.
He didn’t have a fever, but he had an active cough and a runny nose. He was probably contagious. He’d probably have had everyone around freaked out that he might have SARS.
My child stayed home from school today.
Even though today was the day for his very first Maths exam. Ever.
He’s P1, and Math is by far his best subject. A subject he’s proud of his ability in.
It's the one subject that buoys his waning self-confidence when weekly he gets poor marks on spelling tests and ting-xie.
Today my P1 child stayed home from school.
And today I learn that the child who misses an exam for a valid reason has no opportunity to make it up.
It will be written “VR” on his report card.
A “valid reason.”
Next time I’ll think twice about whether my child infects his classmates.
Next time I’ll have learned more about the very “valid reason” for a distasteful Singaporean quality called “Kiasu.”
Next time will I start thinking like a Singaporean parent?
“Who cares if he spreads his germs to his classmates? My child should get the chance to show what he’s learned after all his hard work.”
But this time, he’ll get a “VR” for Maths and they’ll average his scores from the subjects he struggles in.
That’s the policy.
As a foreigner, it has been our choice to put our children in local schools.
We're not forced into this option and we’ve been happy with our choice so far.
The positive, we believe, outweighs the negatives.
It's a good education overall.
BUT we’re learning the system.
The system that now is so hyper about healthy kids that they are being questioned each day when they enter the school grounds.
A system that now has them checking their temperature during school hours.
And yet a system that doesn’t allow for illness on exam days.
A flawed system.
If I were a parent who really cared about his test results I’d have him miss his Mother Tongue test for a PAPERCUT.
The note would read:
“My child was feeling poorly on the day of the test…”
I'd manage to make it sound like a VR.
Unlike the parents of my child's classmates, I don’t care so much about what my child’s average scores are, or where he falls in the class ranking. He doesn’t have to stay in the system as long as his classmates do.
His classmates are the ones who, starting with this exam, will scratch and claw for being top in their class until they are selected (or not) to be eligible for University.
My child with the “VR” will go to University if he applies himself, and we responsibly save for his education.
He will go to University as long as his self-confidence isn’t permanently damaged by having this VR averaged in on his very first series of exams.
BUT
Because my child stayed home from school today
He won’t have the right to show himself how very much he’s learned in Math.
He won’t have the chance to gain confidence from this milestone.
At the tender age of 6 he’ll surely feel the socially inflicted shame that will inevitably come from his poor showing in English, or his barely passing Chinese (if indeed he does PASS!).
Ah, me. Perhaps I’m making a mountain out of a milestone.
No. It’s the principle of such policies that have got me riled up.
Singapore wants her citizens to be socially responsible.
Singapore shouldn't need to make laws to govern our consideration for one another.
Yet Singapore penalizes those of us who are socially responsible and courteous.
And continues to teach us to know better
Next time.
I’m being a responsible citizen.
I’m teaching my children to care for the welfare of his fellow man.
He was not feeling well.
He didn’t have a fever, but he had an active cough and a runny nose. He was probably contagious. He’d probably have had everyone around freaked out that he might have SARS.
My child stayed home from school today.
Even though today was the day for his very first Maths exam. Ever.
He’s P1, and Math is by far his best subject. A subject he’s proud of his ability in.
It's the one subject that buoys his waning self-confidence when weekly he gets poor marks on spelling tests and ting-xie.
Today my P1 child stayed home from school.
And today I learn that the child who misses an exam for a valid reason has no opportunity to make it up.
It will be written “VR” on his report card.
A “valid reason.”
Next time I’ll think twice about whether my child infects his classmates.
Next time I’ll have learned more about the very “valid reason” for a distasteful Singaporean quality called “Kiasu.”
Next time will I start thinking like a Singaporean parent?
“Who cares if he spreads his germs to his classmates? My child should get the chance to show what he’s learned after all his hard work.”
But this time, he’ll get a “VR” for Maths and they’ll average his scores from the subjects he struggles in.
That’s the policy.
As a foreigner, it has been our choice to put our children in local schools.
We're not forced into this option and we’ve been happy with our choice so far.
The positive, we believe, outweighs the negatives.
It's a good education overall.
BUT we’re learning the system.
The system that now is so hyper about healthy kids that they are being questioned each day when they enter the school grounds.
A system that now has them checking their temperature during school hours.
And yet a system that doesn’t allow for illness on exam days.
A flawed system.
If I were a parent who really cared about his test results I’d have him miss his Mother Tongue test for a PAPERCUT.
The note would read:
“My child was feeling poorly on the day of the test…”
I'd manage to make it sound like a VR.
Will someone give me a VR for Singaporeans to start caring about each other?
Unlike the parents of my child's classmates, I don’t care so much about what my child’s average scores are, or where he falls in the class ranking. He doesn’t have to stay in the system as long as his classmates do.
His classmates are the ones who, starting with this exam, will scratch and claw for being top in their class until they are selected (or not) to be eligible for University.
My child with the “VR” will go to University if he applies himself, and we responsibly save for his education.
He will go to University as long as his self-confidence isn’t permanently damaged by having this VR averaged in on his very first series of exams.
BUT
Because my child stayed home from school today
He won’t have the right to show himself how very much he’s learned in Math.
He won’t have the chance to gain confidence from this milestone.
At the tender age of 6 he’ll surely feel the socially inflicted shame that will inevitably come from his poor showing in English, or his barely passing Chinese (if indeed he does PASS!).
Ah, me. Perhaps I’m making a mountain out of a milestone.
No. It’s the principle of such policies that have got me riled up.
Singapore wants her citizens to be socially responsible.
Singapore shouldn't need to make laws to govern our consideration for one another.
Yet Singapore penalizes those of us who are socially responsible and courteous.
And continues to teach us to know better
Next time.
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