Saying our goodbyes in Asia
One of the things I’m looking forward to this sabbatical is a slower pace.
As we rode the whitewater rapids of the goodbyes and moving this fall, which included long distance renovation decisions along with Jim’s extensive travel schedule right up to the end, there seemed to be more to do than was humanly possible.
I managed to stay at peace for nearly all of if, centered in God’s hands, letting him (rather then my obsessive perfectionism) remind me what was important or what was a priority for the moment. There’s a whole lot that didn’t get done, but I am trusting that this way, the things that are missing or undone will be forgiven or forgotten.
One of the things I’m looking forward to this sabbatical is a slower pace.
As we rode the whitewater rapids of the goodbyes and moving this fall, which included long distance renovation decisions along with Jim’s extensive travel schedule right up to the end, there seemed to be more to do than was humanly possible.
I managed to stay at peace for nearly all of if, centered in God’s hands, letting him (rather then my obsessive perfectionism) remind me what was important or what was a priority for the moment. There’s a whole lot that didn’t get done, but I am trusting that this way, the things that are missing or undone will be forgiven or forgotten.
One thing I did during the goodbye months, was to intentionally write letters of blessing to those who called me there mentor, and then did my best to meet personally with them for a meal or for coffee before our departure. A group of artists threw a going away party for me. Read poems. Sang original songs. Loved on me the whole evening. Let me sing for them, and challenge them about their ongoing role in being mentors to others. It was such a special night.
Straddling ministry in Singapore/Malaysia/Vietnam and China, Jim and I had a lot of goodbyes to make, and we do feel really good about the closure there. Some things are certainly passed off and in good hands. Other places have multiple fulfilling ministry options to return to, should God lead that way.
Renovations Remotely
It’s been nearly 6 weeks that we’ve been back now, and despite it being the holiday season, the house is nearly finished. Painted stem to stern and fresh hardware and flooring, plus all the large appliances needing purchasing or replacing. The renters were pretty low maintenance and we are thankful for that!
Nevertheless, we discovered many things were broken that they just lived with. Heating/Air, garbage disposal, hot water heater. It’s been a bigger task than we first imagined. But we are nearly finished. The new fridge won't be delivered for awhile yet. My folks still had the small fridge my brother used college! It looks pretty funny in the spot for the fridge, but after living in a dorm room in China for 2 years, we know how to make things work!
It’s been nearly 6 weeks that we’ve been back now, and despite it being the holiday season, the house is nearly finished. Painted stem to stern and fresh hardware and flooring, plus all the large appliances needing purchasing or replacing. The renters were pretty low maintenance and we are thankful for that!
Nevertheless, we discovered many things were broken that they just lived with. Heating/Air, garbage disposal, hot water heater. It’s been a bigger task than we first imagined. But we are nearly finished. The new fridge won't be delivered for awhile yet. My folks still had the small fridge my brother used college! It looks pretty funny in the spot for the fridge, but after living in a dorm room in China for 2 years, we know how to make things work!
The painters will return to redo some work. (In our absence. We leave for Georgia to be with family over new years and getting Cameron back to school in TN). The wrong paint was used on all the built in cabinets through the house, and though it had a few days to dry before we arrived, there were an unseemly amount of knicks and scratches across many surfaces in the first couple of days. Also while away, the glass will go in the showers, which for this first month have been more like the high school gym shower experience: open!
Settling back in our home from 17 years ago...renovations ongoing
The second day we were back, we had a housewarming “fill the pantry” party, and wow! the cupboards are no longer bare, food, and small appliances, and kitchen towels. I felt like a bride again!
The second day we were back, we had a housewarming “fill the pantry” party, and wow! the cupboards are no longer bare, food, and small appliances, and kitchen towels. I felt like a bride again!
But the shelves and mantle were all scratched from the gifts delivered that night! So along with the other knicks that were made when the painter hung doors and cabinet doors when the paint wasn’t quite set, they’re coming back to fit it.
We’ve begged borrowed and ransacked the thrift stores for all the furniture and the rest. A couple of desk chairs, a desk for me and a dining table and chairs is all we still have to go. A couple of borrowed card table and chairs have served well so far.
The bathrooms also had the wrong flooring laid and now that has been corrected. The contractor put in toilets that were $800!!! We only asked for one. When we arrived there were 2 in the boxes, so we thought, “Oh well, guess we'll have 2 then.” Only weeks later did we see what they cost! One pitfall from remotely working on a renovation.
We didn’t even bother telling the general contractor that the carpet laid in Jim’s office is not the right color. We decided to live with it. Part of the cost of doing it from the other side of the world with a friend who apparently is not doing well on the details anymore. We spent more money in the last 6 weeks than any other 6 weeks of our lives!
But we heave a sigh of relief. With the wrapping paper of Christmas down the trash chute, and the last of these renovation details getting finished soon, the place is nearly ready for whatever is next. Be it, a better price on a sale, or a second home we can use for when we visit our folks, or offer hospitality in LA when others are traveling here.
But we heave a sigh of relief. With the wrapping paper of Christmas down the trash chute, and the last of these renovation details getting finished soon, the place is nearly ready for whatever is next. Be it, a better price on a sale, or a second home we can use for when we visit our folks, or offer hospitality in LA when others are traveling here.
What is next?
We are still uncertain about what God’s plans are post recovery from Jim’s knee surgery which is is January 19th. It seems like as a couple, so much of our life is focused on getting this done in the midst of making sure our parents and boys feel loved and supported through the holidays. I would certainly like to know what is the direction for post recovery on that surgery. A few ideas have been floated to Jim, and there are some interesting openings even outside of CRM that would suit his gifts. We are both confident that God will make it clear. I am seeing this season as a time for reconnecting with and offering support to people who’ve been so supportive of us over the years. It is REALLY nice to visit people without the awareness that this will probably be the ONLY time I see them in years. I am hearing that this feeling is mutual. We may not be seeing everyone often, but just knowing we’re nearer, is a happy thought.
We are still uncertain about what God’s plans are post recovery from Jim’s knee surgery which is is January 19th. It seems like as a couple, so much of our life is focused on getting this done in the midst of making sure our parents and boys feel loved and supported through the holidays. I would certainly like to know what is the direction for post recovery on that surgery. A few ideas have been floated to Jim, and there are some interesting openings even outside of CRM that would suit his gifts. We are both confident that God will make it clear. I am seeing this season as a time for reconnecting with and offering support to people who’ve been so supportive of us over the years. It is REALLY nice to visit people without the awareness that this will probably be the ONLY time I see them in years. I am hearing that this feeling is mutual. We may not be seeing everyone often, but just knowing we’re nearer, is a happy thought.
Where will we find a church home?
We’ve made the rounds of nearly half dozen church services in the area…our primary sending church had a lot of fall out over the years we’ve been away, and individual friends and supporters are spread around now. I hope that God will lead clearly about how to navigate that so that we will feel settled and have community. We have dinner tonight with the family of a church planting pastor who had been Jim’s best friend when they were both associates at the sending church. We did Christmas Eve at the church plant in Palos Verdes started by the former Crusade, then Willow Creek, then Saddleback couple we had in early married years talked about being missionaries together. Both of these churches are smaller and have some good friends there. But our home church also has a strong pull, even though it is huge, and there are so many many new people we don’t know. We laughed going to the Christmas program with the aged choir. “There’s one group were people know us.” Jim laughed. That Christmas program was like going back in a time warp! Seemed like nothing had changed in 17 years!
Parenting Adult Children, a transition
We’ve made the rounds of nearly half dozen church services in the area…our primary sending church had a lot of fall out over the years we’ve been away, and individual friends and supporters are spread around now. I hope that God will lead clearly about how to navigate that so that we will feel settled and have community. We have dinner tonight with the family of a church planting pastor who had been Jim’s best friend when they were both associates at the sending church. We did Christmas Eve at the church plant in Palos Verdes started by the former Crusade, then Willow Creek, then Saddleback couple we had in early married years talked about being missionaries together. Both of these churches are smaller and have some good friends there. But our home church also has a strong pull, even though it is huge, and there are so many many new people we don’t know. We laughed going to the Christmas program with the aged choir. “There’s one group were people know us.” Jim laughed. That Christmas program was like going back in a time warp! Seemed like nothing had changed in 17 years!
Parenting Adult Children, a transition
Our boys are with us now, and there’s nothing on earth that makes me temporally happier than when we are all together.
If there is going to be any fall-out with adult children for errors we have made in parenting, we have yet to hear about it. I tried to pre-empt their need for psychoanalysis as adults and blaming me for their problems by telling them that I was intentionally imperfect (aka a nutcase mother), because I wanted my future daughters-in-law to like me, rather than resent me because my sons would always be telling their young wives how PERFECT their mother was. Ha Ha! We shall see if this tactic was successful!
I told Cameron (just 18) “I know you hate me getting on your case about this, but you know it is because I am desperate for you to become a gentleman rather than a caveman.” We don’t hold much hope that he will ever be able to NOT be a chaotic messy guy. But he is a loveable slob, which makes it tolerable. My heart aches for parents of teenagers who are dark and hateful and uncommunicative.
They are good boys on the cusp of independence and adulthood and yet still affectionate with obvious rough edges. We wish they were both more spiritually hungry, though both seem to genuinely worship at church, and don’t give push back to family discussions on spiritual issues or prayer.
But they are drawn to the world, and neither initiate talking about Jesus or spiritual things. This is my deepest sadness.
But they are drawn to the world, and neither initiate talking about Jesus or spiritual things. This is my deepest sadness.
