Reflecting on 2021: I saw/knew God was doing something when…

One day I asked my released from prison friend Mike if there was some kind of work he liked to do. Something that didn’t cause stress and he knew he was good at. He said “yard work.”  

This was something that didn’t have to do it with people (he doesn’t trust people), he likes being outside in nature (it calms him and he feels closer to God), he could do the physical work and handle the tools for it well (it gives him a sense of worth that he can do something well). 

I told him that I envisioned a day when he’d be able to do yard work for Seniors and people in his neighborhood. I felt blessed to be able to help him out in ways he couldn’t help himself right now, and I can see a day when there were going to be people who are needier than he is, and he’d get that sense of blessing to be able to help them and show them God’s love. 

My dream is that he’d even get some supplemental money for that service. Not a great “hourly wage” but something to supplement his SSI without going over what he’s allowed to earn. I wanted to help make that happen, with a local church, or charity group in the city…even if I had to help raise $ to fund it. 

A couple weeks later Jim and I were visiting an inner city community center. We learned that one of the things they’d enjoyed this past year was a season of serving Seniors in the area through cutting grass is a ministry. One of the staff leaders had loved doing that with some former felons he know, but had been curtailed a few months earlier. 

Soon, Mike began working 2-3 days a week with some cash under the table from us. $50-60 a day. The folks at Hope say he’s a blessing to them because he’s not only a good, hard worker, but he’s participating in their staff devotions and meetings. He’s a spark plug for them with vision of what God can do there. We’re only funding 2 days a week. Staff at Hope are kicking in. Mike is so happy there that he’s even volunteering 2 days! 

It gives him a sense of purpose and made him feel he was part of a team. 

“Hope is my Happy Place!” he says all the time! 

Why can’t he just be employed there? They want to hire him for the maximum hours he can work and still keep his disability for mental illness. I got nowhere in trying to reach his case worker at Social Security or at Joe Johnson Behavioral Health in the months before we met the folks at Hope. The Social Worker at Hope is trying to reach them too. Get a definitive answer. 

Because…Mike’s fragile, and not really able to be a reliable full time worker, and may be doing good right now, but chances are at some point he will “decompensate”…and not be able to work there if he falls apart, and he will need that SSI then just as he has since he got out of Prison in early December 2020. To get on SSI disability takes moving a mountain; so it’s better to stay on rather than get off and then try to get BACK on.

This isn’t some rainbows and ponies happy ending though. He’s still living with daily trauma and violence and drama with his family members and where he is living. But he has nowhere to move. There is ZERO section 8 housing available, and even no way to sign up on the WAITING LIST for government assistance with housing. This dude has been a REALLY REALLY bad guy in the past. There is a reason doors are closed to him and old relationships are tentative when it comes to trust. I’ve not yet met or heard of any of his connections being anyone who can be of much help anyway. And those fringe family members are taking notice of the changes in him.

It’s hard to live off of $750 disability for his mental illness and $500 under the table. $1250/month. Especially if one [probably] has a drug adiction.

 

A few months ago he reported that he'd started getting zero in food stamps (but his connection with Hope came just in time – they have a food bank!). He has free health insurance and his strong psych meds are only $16/month. However, he has a $400/month nicotine habit that is hard to break when one has been smoking for 50 years and lives where people are crashing cars, shooting guns, taking drugs, and pulling doors off hinges. 

No matter what kind of nicotine patch is available, a few cigarettes a day can help calm the nerves of an old man with PTSD (starting from childhood abuse that he was never rescued from) and Bi-Polar disorder.

I see God at work in coming alongside Mike. I'm just not sure whether he will take the lifeline.

You are not a Felon. In Christ, the Bible says you're a whole lot of wonderful things!

Matt, is one of the two guys I stay in touch with now that he has come out of prison. Normally this isn’t something the volunteer writers do, but Matt went to live in a Christian sober living ministry called “Friends House” that Jim and I have been getting to know and support. 

Matt lived with them until he blew it, and had to go to another place! He’s now graduated from the second program, and is roommates with a recovering alcoholic who was a guard at one of the prison units where he was incarcerated!

When I first met Matt, I gave him a printed list of Bible verses about “Who I am in Christ.” and  some instructions: 

“Wrap it around that awful FELON ID card.

The one you have to carry in your wallet. 

You are not defined as a felon by God.

This is who you are now!” 

The first time I met him in person, he brought along to show me all the letters I had written him while in prison! 

During Covid, I began writing to others who still didn’t have a volunteer to write to them. They are all affirming about what the letters mean to them. They write how much it encourages them to know someone is praying for them, and cares. They really open up in their letters. Even with the hardships (especially during Covid lockdowns and no visitation), they are hanging on to faith and hope; even if sometimes by a thread! 

Read more about writing like this.

Shut up and BE the change already

Before the absolute craziness of 2020, I was already weary of the shouting in the culture wars.   

Seriously. 

Imagine Kimberly taking to the streets, or social media, and acting on her instincts to protest against the protestors: 

"Go teach a kid to read. 

Teach an adult to manage their limited finances. 

Be a Big Brother or Sister. 

Go volunteer at a school. 

Just SHUT UP already!" 

I know. I know. I am a sanctimonious old person now. 

This angry attitude is what's kept me from writing any more posts or newsletters this year. 

We're all tired of reading, and hearing, and talking about _____ (fill in the blank). 

I didn't know how to write to you, my friends, without including something about all the [you-know-what] that we're tired of talking and reading about.

But I'm writing now.

At Thanksgiving.

Because I'm thankful.

                                    Truly.

In 2019 I began writing encouraging letters to prisoners who call Chattanooga home. I came upon Chattanooga Endeavors randomly. And I don't believe anything happens by chance. 

Writing these letters has kept my head on straight in the midst of all the noise. It's doing something that does make a change in the eventual success of losers once they get on the outside. 

Yeah, I wrote that. LOSERS. 

Felons are modern day LEPERS. 

Think about that for a minute. It's an anthropologically valid noun. 

So, writing letters not just encouraging them now, but it's effecting recidivism rates, reducing crime, and changing lives (apparently studies show, but I'm not going to bore you with that right now). 

It's made me thankful every day that I've found a lane where I know these letters make a difference in suffering lives. Lives that, according to Scripture, matter. 

"Remember the Lord’s people who are in jail and be concerned for them. Don’t forget those who are suffering, but imagine that you are there with them."                                                                                                              - Hebrews 13:3

(And, by the way... a large percentage of those prisoners are black lives who matter.)

This year, in 2021 that lane got wider. I was no longer merely writing and putting stamps on envelopes. It's been up close and personal, almost daily. 

Since the Spring I've spending a lot of time with a 59 year old black man who grew up in Chattanooga. He has spent much of his adult life in state prisons. 

He's a month older than me. 

But we couldn't be more different in our life stories. I'm enjoying a season of growing older feeling content and safe having had a life well-lived and materially blessed. Mike on the other hand has a long list of challenges and an equally long list of former offenses and psychological trauma from his childhood, drug abuse, homelessness, and mental illness. 

But, even in the midst of daily battle with the Enemy, my friend has hope and is moving incrementally in the right direction. He's trusting me, and trusting God, taking three steps forward and two steps back. 

There are no easy answers for our neighbors who've grown up in systemic poverty. We want to help but it truly seems impossible. In the past it's been easier to say, "Nothing is impossible for God." Now, I can question that. Change has to be a big part miracle. Jim and I are depending on the Spirit's guidance for wisdom in what part of those challenges we can help.

With Jim's support, I'm in desperate dependence on the Lord for discernment and direction. My heart, my mind, my patience, and wallet keep getting stretched and poured out.

Mike is a big reason why I've not been writing much this year. Encouraging and supporting him is new territory for me. I've had a hard time putting it into words for my friends as I discover how badly the system is broken. Even with others (in addition to me) trying to help navigate it all, it's hard to not keep falling through the cracks.

There are a few positive things that have happened since Mike came back to Chattanooga. Divine appointments.  I asked him to "trust me to introduce him to more people he can trust." 

He's learning what it means to be trustworthy as well. That's a tall order for a person who's prefrontal cortex has never developed. God's grace, and encouragement are helping him grow in character. But the Enemy is positively livid about that! I've never experienced such warefare.

What I've known in my head forever, hadn't really touched my life:

There are no easy answers for our neighbors who've grown up in poverty, and trauma.

In 2021 I've learned this in my being. It physically hurts now just to type it for you, so that you will read it on your screen. I'm more thankful for believers who are social workers, or counselors. People who's work is to assist more than just one.

And I'm thankful for the ways my faith is stretching. With Mike, I MUST trust God every day for his presence, protection, and provision.

Pray for Mike. 

Pray for all the people living in this world who like him have so so very much to overcome.

Thank you for loving and praying for me.

Update on Book Project: Experience God with Your Unique Spiritual Personality

 

 

On the Book Project:

Hit Pause & Pray with me!

Last Friday and Saturday I had two surprising emails. The first sent me to the depths of despair, and the second created an eager hope that the booklet might get more traction and exposure than what I imagined possible. Gary Thomas the author of Sacred Pathways likes my Experience God booklet and my explanation for why this kind of "intro" to Sacred Pathways is necessary. He is exploring the idea of partnering with me to make some modifications, and publish it together.

In the meantime, those who asked for an advance copy are helping me discover: will Experience God with Your Unique Spiritual Personality be a good tool for having conversations about faith? Will it spark joy, and new insights for those who already love and follow Jesus? Will it help create more unity in the church?

There are so many other stories to share. Prison & Rehab ministries. Hope*Writers. Divine Connections. Loads of guests coming through. Even some Novo staff that just moved to our neighborhood in Chattanooga. But we'll save that for another email!

Will you pray with and for us about these things? Then let us know, how we can be praying for YOU...(besides your blessing and joy)!

Kimberly & Jim Creasman

 

Also...

Jim's doing great.

He's had his last follow up with the surgeon, and continues to slowly heal. You can bet we'll be vigilant in checking for more odd skin markings and quarterly visits to the dermatologist. Thank you for praying!

What we're Reading & Listening to:

With TWO dogs now, Jim's plowing through audio books.

We've begun listening to a podcast The Place We Find Ourselves. Produced by a very pastoral Christian Counselor Adam Young. It's helpful to understand ourselves, as well as love and understand others better. Tyler's been ploughing through the episodes faster than we have.

The World & Everything in It, and another podcast Effective Compassion are two of our favorites. Non-snarky news from a biblical Christian worldview. Kimberly listens to the daily news podcast with her prayer journal open, pen in hand.

World's research into helping ministries teaches that it needs to be challenging, personal, and spiritual. Lasting change usually doesn't come without all three components. The first 2 seasons of Effective Compassion evaluated various homeless ministries, and then recovery programs in the USA. Wow. Just wow.

BTW: We've long ago turned off network news, and we have so much more joy!

Learn about World News

How does this mom handle a break up for her son?

^{Written June 13th, 2021}

^{to September 21, 2021}

It’s the middle of June and Spring has   

S  t  r - e - t - ch - ed  

into summer.

[…Now it’s July, 

…Now August, 

…How can it be September already?]

My heart still hurts over what I don’t understand, and details I don’t know.

A weight won’t lift from my chest.

My sorrow hasn’t found an outlet.

An early June weekend in Charleston helped.

A first mother/son trip (Both of us still blue).

He keeps things close to his chest as he learns about grief,

Seeks advice from a counselor.

And waits on a silent God for direction.

What to do with all that love?

It just takes time to know.

Oh how I’ve wanted to reach out across the miles

To a delightful,

Beautiful,

Mysterious,

Wounded,

Girl.

The silence is weird.

“It’s not my place”

May make a good excuse.

But I want to say something. Something like

“I love you still.”

“I pray every day.”

“I bless you.”

I want to offer comfort.

I want to ask, “Is there something I can do?”

People had warned me

Not to fall in love with the girls your sons fall for.

I didn’t listen.

~~~~~~~

When you entered Tyler’s life,

my heart had been light for nearly a year.

A constant song.

As parents, we weren’t merely spectators.

Perhaps coaches. Friends. Cheerleaders.

It was so romantic.

It was delightful.

And then, all of the sudden,

It wasn’t.

Yours was such an unusual courtship;

Stretching across the globe.

S  t  r - e - t - ch - ed  

your creativity too. 

Dating by zoom.

Practicing Yoga, 

Cooking together

Reading books, 

Listening to podcasts.

We all found “The Place We Find Ourselves”

Virtually.

In 2021 the whole world was stuck

Navigating life with a dangerous virus that closed borders.

The months went on.

Dragged on. Pressed in. 

S  t  r - e - t - ch - ed  

more than creativity. 

It stretched Patience. Grace. Will. 

Exploring options. Researching. Praying. Waiting. Imagining.

Our hopes had been in Tyler finishing his military commitment by early summer.

Then awful unexpected news came: Another YEAR was required.

And grad school in Sydney postponed for what felt like an ETERNITY.

How could Tyler show her that he was committed to her?

Perhaps by following Beyoncé’s admonition about a ring…?

(That was the advice anyway.)

Surely it was a misunderstanding 

That turned the relationship sideways.

And something unforgiveable buried it upside down.

Tyler got a motorcycle. We got a third dog. 

I remind myself that this is not the first time 

I’ve surrender to Sovereignty

When life is painful.

A “School Plant” in the Inner City

The Greenwood School will launch in the fall of 2022 from a renovated building of New City Fellowship, a remarkable multi-racial church that has a long history of innovative ways to bridge racial divisions in a southern city. We had the joy of helping raise funds to get that building up to code! 

In neighborhood where there are poor school options, this new school will give hope for local kids and strengthen their families. And this isn't just wishful thinking. 

In 2019, Chattanooga Christian School started "The Kings School" downtown at Olivet Baptist Church. This is the second school being "planted" as an outreach/tithe of Chattanooga Christian School. And we've got some impressive test scores to show that it's working. They raise the funds, provide the scholarships, teachers, and curriculum. Amazing!

Here's a video report on the Kings School. What a remarkable testimony for CCS. And they have another one in the works for 2022!

Are You Slogging Through? Me too.

 I waited patiently for the Lord;

    he inclined to me and heard my cry.

2 

He drew me up from the pit of destruction,

    out of the miry bog,

and set my feet upon a rock,

    making my steps secure.

3 

Psalm 40:1-2

I know you've been there.

Slogging away at a project 

that seems like it will 

never get finished.

Wanting to just give up, 

but knowing you have to keep going.

The end is not in sight anymore.

And you know it shouldn't be this hard.

You cry out, or silently think out, to God, 

"Why is this taking so long? It feels like I'm trudging through mud!" 

And then he reminds you that you're in a spiritual battle. 

And then you do say outluud to the one who is doing what he can to make things seem hard, 

"I renounce any schemes of the enemy! In Jesus' name he cannot thwart what God has led me to do.

I'm working on a project like that. 

Trying to get it across the finish line.

I started it in 2016 actually. More than four years later I dusted off a little booklet project.

Last October I rallied to see if I could get it done for Christmas gifts.

It seemed like the right timing.

It would be 

    a happy accomplishment 

        to celebrate

            after a year that gave us much 

                to mourn 

                    and be unhappy about.

The process bogged down, and I thought EASTER 2021 might be a more realistic goal. Now here I am still tweaking with the designer, and offering to pay her more than the contract said.

My back is to the wall with a deadline, and so many tasks still should be done in order to share it well.

This isn't my project. This isn't even my life. I am the Lord's, and so is this project!

So, Pray. 

Keep praying.

Each time I get the overwhelm 

from all the options and advice offered in the publishing world.

Keep moving forward in the quest,

but keep praying.  

For peace. 

    For favor.

        For guidance. 

            For wisdom.

Yesterday afternoon I prayed, "I'm overwhelmed by the printer options out there. Lord can you help me identify a local one? Being new here in Chattanooga, and I'd sure love to give this job to someone locally. Get to know more people here, let them have my business."

Later, in the evening, I pulled up the links to the options again. My editor/designer had recommended five websites. Only one, it turns out, prints the size of booklet I want it to be.

Can you guess where that printer is located? Yep. Chattanooga!

This morning, after thinking about being stuck in the mud. I had been reading in multiple places that a book landing page is the MOST important marketing tool, so I searched domain names. And...a really great one - that includes the title - is still available.

Then this afternoon, I had scheduled a call with a mentor/friend. The prolific author Pam Farrel was willing to spend some time with me to give me advice, to help me find my way clearer through this miry bog of the publishing industry. (She and her husband Bill authored Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti, and between them have 50 others). She LOVES the project. She rejoiced about the printer and the domain news. She gave me heaps of advice and I have a clearer plan for my next steps. Something WILL get done by Easter, but MORE will wait until my 60th birthday next February (in time for Easter 2022!)

In her time with the Lord and his word this morning she was reading from Psalm 40. This time I included the next verse, which feels quite prophetic, in light of my hopes for this booklet: 

I waited patiently for the Lord;

    he inclined to me and heard my cry.

2 

He drew me up from the pit of destruction,

    out of the miry bog,

and set my feet upon a rock,

    making my steps secure.

3 

He put a new song in my mouth,

    a song of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear,

    and put their trust in the Lord.

Psalm 40:1-3

Photo Credit: Annie Spratt, Pixbay