After 5 years of making the SAME resolution, I took a dance class in January, and when it was over took another one. Not just one, but TWO dance classes...and performed in a dance recital where I was featured! HA (see me dancing to ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST uploaded to youtube!) I'm looking into what my options are now that I'm back in Asia and getting chubbier and stiff again...
I taught music two times a week in Cameron's school which was on the list, but a big focus of my spring in 2008 I didn't even make the resolution for: taking vocal jazz lessons and singing in a jazz ensemble or a jazz club!
I didn't get completely on top of organizing my mailing lists, or go through all the old photos with my mom and dad, or start podcasting, or cut out coffee, but i did cut out the sugar, and go to Africa and Austria and a 5 star hotel in San Francisco (all for ministry trips!)!
I also survived the packing/sorting/moving/goodbyes and hellos of settling back again to Singapore again after our year in Pasadena!
The HUGE thing is I finally came to terms with, was the resolution to BELIEVE THAT GOD IS GOOD NO MATTER WHAT. After years of wrestling over my skepticism and lack of a heartfelt conviction that God is good and loving and has me here, now, for His good purposes (I needed more than a belief because of what the Bible says, or knowing it's what I should ascribe to as a Christian). I've finally come to a place where in my deep heart I can trust that he is loving, no matter what the circumstances in my life, or in anyone's life in this messed up world. He grieves deeply over the brokenness in this world, yet he chooses to wait to restore Eden. He is Sovereign and all powerful, his Kingdom will come. From the looks of it, we're not anywhere near it; a time described in the Bible as when "every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord." But God has his own good reasons for waiting and holding back his judgement. When bad things happen, he is not malicious or out to get us. He allows but abhors all the many evils in this world - many of which are due to the freedom he gave humankind to freely worship and follow him...or not. For me to fight him over these issues is pointless. It's a SIN of presumption. I presumed that I know better than HIM! The Eternal God of the universe had me live here, and now, in this generation, with the passions and personality I have, for his purposes, I can stop being upset by it all, and stop questioning his judgement, and get to work!
Many prayers, conversations, books, and even some wonderful words directly from God himself worked together for this resolution to be fulfilled, but reading THE SHACK this past fall was like frosting on the cake.
Yeah! Reflection is so good! Though I've recently had the blues over this move & resettling, looking over the list from the WHOLE of last year I'm reminded of God's favour. It's been a GOOD year!
A number of years ago, with 5 young and beautiful Singaporean theatre friends, I started these reflections and Post it note Resolutions. Last January I had the sweet privilege of sharing the exercise with old friends in California. It's really rewarding to reflect and look over the past years and see what's been accomplished, then look ahead with a sense of expectation.
May you have a wonderful new year, blessed by God the Father, Jesus the Christ the one who "became flesh and dwelt among us" and the indwelling Holy Spirit. GOD. A Trinity who leads and guides and loves you and me, if we just stop arguing with him and let him be God!
1 comment:
In 2008 I learned to…begin to sing jazz and appreciate (love!) jazz music.
I grew most in…understanding God's goodness. Reoriented my thinking about past hurts and heart breaks through a writing exercise: Alternate Endings.
Another way I saw myself growing was…letting myself off the hook when I fail, or am not what I think I should be.
One of my best adventures was…going to Egypt and teaching playback theatre to some amazing young adults.
I saw/knew God was doing something when…i heard him speak to me in the middle of the night last november.
A real gift from God was…celebrating birthdays and life with family in USA for a year. Dancing and getting into shape without any neck problems (healed after nearly a year of pain in dec 2006)
Something I really enjoyed doing more of was…SInging in a jazz group and taking lessons January through May.
One of the happiest memories of 2008 I’d like to freeze in my mind…
I was really brave when…I spoke and sang for a CRM major fundraiser in San Francisco. The speaking pretty much terrifies me.
A Scripture passage that meant a lot to me was…Philippians 1. The book of Romans.
I’m still trying to learn what God wants to teach me through this hard experience…experiencing worship at our neighborhood church and our home church was...well, unsatisfactory. Had Loads of angst over what church felt like -- coming to it as an outsider after all these years it was easier to experience what is the Christian sub-culture one must join to embrace Christ. Also, how many friends EVERYWHERE are dissatisfied with their Christian worship and fellowship, but don't know what to do about it but keep going out of obedience and habit, rather than expectation and JOY.
The best word of advice or encouragement I can remember is…
ADVICE: "Keep waiting on the Lord, Keep doing what you're doing. In God's time he will reveal his bigger plans for you." Verlie Hamilton (in praying over me)
ENCOURAGEMENT: "I'll be your big brother. I'll stand up for you. I'll protect you. I won't let anyone hurt you or tease you." - Jesus (what an amazing year this was of hearing God speak!)
oh yes - when i was praying about the frustration i have over the church he also said: "It's not your problem. It's mine. It's too big for you. Don't worry about it!."
One thing I’m looking forward to in 2009 is…One thing?!!!? Can't. HOPE. PEACE. JOY. EXPECTATION. DREAMS. Driving around in the car we just bought (Hallelujah!!!)
Post a Comment