Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton's Newsletter
WHY DON'T YOU JUST POP ON OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD?
Singapore is positively exciting, exotic and really easy for even the most pampered tourist. In fact this little city/nation is practically perfect if you only stay for less than a couple weeks. From the northern part of Singapore you can see Malaysia, and from the south you can see Indonesia. So, while you're here, you may want to add a couple other stamps to your passport. You think Southern California is multi-ethnic? Wait ‘till you see Singapore! We’ve Chinatown, little India, Malay Village as tourist attractions, but it is a virtual mosaic as you walk along the streets. We’ve the world’s best zoo, terrific shopping, GREAT FOOD, and efficient and clean public transportation. Stay in a nice air-conditioned hotel and we’ll show you the many wonderful sights and give you a window into our lives here. Besides what you’ll find in the tourist books, here’s what else you’d get if we could host you here.
We may make you join us for a bit of Chinese studies. We’ll go over some new vocabulary, or sing along with some Chinese karaoke! In Singapore it’s not a necessity, but speaking Mandarin goes a LONG way with people we meet and work with. At a lunch last week a Singaporean asked me to order, hoping we might get some freebies thrown in! Children take compulsory "Mother Tongue" in school, which is either Mandarin Chinese (78%), Malay (15%), or Tamil - an Indian language (7%). They take school pretty serious here, as well as instilling National pride in the children. It is quite a sight to pop by school at the end of the day and see the flag lowering ceremony with 1000 children singing the National Anthem. Our children are nearly the only Americans we know attending local schools; but so far, they are flourishing.
From this technologically sophisticated island, we spend a lot of time on the computer. Email is the way we do nearly EVERYTHING, even with Singaporeans; or SMS. Do you have that back home? My goodness, the way we send these messages back and forth! Sometimes I just think, “Dial the number and let’s TALK to each other!” And the Internet. Broadband! Wow! I even do much of my grocery shopping on-line. I don’t have to ever feel “out of the loop,” even living on the other side of the world! I have a database of sketches for worship on the web and people are downloading it from all around the world. Recently another Christian in theatre wrote me that his newest musical “Gospel Blues” was having it’s first showing and being broadcast over the internet from the Pacific Northwest. So, I didn’t even have to miss out on a premiere! Let’s all sing “It’s a Small World” shall we?
About bringing along a care package with food: NO need! We live out in the suburbs with Singapore’s "heartlanders" (ethnically traditional immigrants), but we have discovered many downtown stores cater to westerners. I stumbled upon a store a few weeks ago which had handmade tortellinis, escargot and a few other things I would never even buy from an Irvine Ranch or Bristol Farms! If we want it, and are willing to pay for it, many American food items can be found. After 5 years in Asia, we have become quite used to the foods here too. In fact, we prefer it! My little boys would rather have instant Chinese noodles over PB&J for lunch! We find we just don't crave old favorites, AND since there's no way you can bring us Krispy Kremes, we'll just have to keep satisfying the donut cravings when we're in the States!!!
As we’ve learned from living in Chinese culture, when it comes to eating out, we will fight you for the check! It is our pleasure to treat you, because God has been faithful to us. In fact, we have not yet had to re-use ANY tea bags. It is amazing & admittedly sometimes scary to live by faith as far as finances go. Like most missionaries, we are financially supported by individuals who sense God’s leading to be part of his work here). This still blows me away, even though it probably shouldn't. We have always supported other missionaries and still do. It's just kind of surprising when you're on the receiving end! We live like the average Singaporean in a Government Housing Apartment. We’re not extravagant, but we’re comfortable. AND HERE'S THE BEST PART (just so you’re not shocked when you visit): we have a live in domestic helper! YES! Someone else does my house work, and God has brought an honest, hard working girl we can trust. Isn't that strange? We live in what looks like a clean inner city ghetto – in groves of high-rise concrete buildings -- but nearly all the professionals who live around here (who don’t have extended family living with them), have foreign maids. So, as they say, “when in Rome…” It is quite a luxury!
But just so you don’t think it’s all wonderful, and plan your visit to be a more permanent one, I must warn you about adjusting to the life here. The HEAT and HUMIDITY is insufferable, you will have virtually no circle of friends or family as support, it is a crowded city culture where people have built not only high buildings but high walls around their hearts. They are very busy and don’t warm up to foreigners (‘cause most expats are here a short stint, stick together and don’t warm up to them). There are no babysitters. Singaporeans, if they do speak to you, love to comment on how easy it must be to adjust to their convenient lifestyle (not!). Honestly, after our 2 years of language study in China, I was really ready to get back to MINISTRY in Singapore! My husband and I had taken a year searching the world for where we BOTH could best use our experience and giftedness as missionaries. We’d sensed a clear leading that Singapore was the place and we moved to the suburbs to dive in to typical Singaporean life. But, while waiting for a suitable maid, homemaking means dishwashing by hand with no running hot water, more clothes to wash & iron because we sweat so much and the children wear uniforms to school, walking in the heat to and from the grocery store, mopping, lots of dust from local construction, and keeping track of children’s school bus schedules, (one son got home from school at 7:00PM!) To tell the truth, living here felt like a 4 star prison! I felt like I’d come to Asia to grow old. But God had (has?) some important whittling to do with my character, true love for him, and understanding that He doesn’t really give a hoot what I accomplish for him, but who I am in him. Sometimes this whittling has felt more like a sledgehammer (especially when we had daily jackhammering on our building for months on end). But having journeyed this valley, I feel I can better empathize with weakness, loneliness, and what it’s like to feel nearly hopelessly lost even though I'm eternally saved. I'm (a bit) more humble, slower to be critical of weakness in others (unless it is poor customer service), and hopefully a better encourager. Maybe I’m even more Christlike!
But we didn’t move here for the lifestyle. We live overseas because of our conviction that Jesus didn't lie when he claimed to be "the way, the truth, and the life" and that "no one comes to the Father except through me." There are so many people who haven't even heard his name yet, let alone have had a chance to decide to follow him. It's not very popular in these pluralistic days to be so "narrow minded," but the Bible is pretty clear on God's jealousy about being the only God, and Jesus' claims to offer eternal salvation only through his sacrifice on the cross.
I'm glad to live in a generation where missions and missionaries are compelled by the truth but full of grace. There's a lot more intentionality about loving people, serving people, blessing people, and along the way sharing our convictions and letting the Holy Spirit convince people. Our calling here is to enable the local Christians. Empower them. Our success comes from seeing them fruitful as witnesses and missionaries. So that's the motivation for leaving the comforts of US. We found Singapore to be a place where both Jim and I could use our unique strengths (his in leadership development and mine in theatre) to be part of God's kingdom work in this world. Just a couple of little specialized cogs in the work He's doing around the globe.
Let me know when you’re coming!
4/19/2002
Why We're Here
I loved reading your letter and it is so refreshing to hear someone say they love their live! You are one who has heard the applause of heaven, and chosen joy instead of grumbling! YEAH! I'm reading a book by Max Lucado right now with that title, THE APPLAUSE OF HEAVEN. It's great to think that God is our cheerleader he loves us so much!
My boys are 9 and 5. Tyler finally came after we'd been married 8 years and has his dad's head for math and his mom's artistic temperament. We didn't want to go through the what-ifs of infertility again, so we adopted Cameron, who is practically perfect except that he is so tactile & sensual, we'll have to lock him up at puberty and arrange an immediate marriage! Both boys are bilingual...we all now speak Chinese!
That is something that until 1996 I had never even considerred and I'm still kind of trying to figure out what my place is in this Chinese world. I do have this deep sense of conviction that there is a reason, so I persevere at a bit of language study to keep up with Tyler and review the easier words with Cameron. It is NOT EASY to learn Chinese!!! Singapore's national language is English, but all children take "Mother Tongue" in school, and for Singaporeans this is either Mandarin Chinese, Malay, or Tamil (an indian language). They take school pretty serious here, and we are the only caucasian foreign family I know who has children in the local schools taking Mother Tongue (virtually all Americans put their children in the American School, or homeschool). We work pretty hard at not putting too much pressure on the kids and having fun, and it is working for now. It helps that both boys are NOT shy, and have a healthy self-confidence (Ty's is a bit TOO healthy).
There's a lot of aspects of living overseas that are fabulous, and others no so great (biggest being missing family & friends, missing convenience, familiarity, and the terrible heat and humidity here!). My husband Jim and I felt that our lives had been pretty cushy and we needed the stretch of living overseas to deepen us through some hardship (imagine, wishing hardship on oneself!). We still have a lot of growing to do, as we have seen sides of ourselves come out in the pressure that we didn't know were there!
But the main reason we live overseas is because of our conviction that Jesus was who he claimed to be, and he didn't lie when he claimed to be "the way, the truth, and the life" and that "no one comes to the Father except through me." In college I became really convicted about Jesus' last words to "go into all the world and make disciples." The last words of anyone are pretty important to pay attention to -- and these were the last words of a man who had just proved by resurrection that he was the incarnation of the living God! There are so many people who haven't even heard his name yet, let alone have had a chance to decide to follow him or not. It's not very popular in these pluralistic days to be so "narrow minded," but the Bible is pretty clear on God's jealousy about being the only God, and Jesus' claims to offer eternal salvation through his sacrifice on the cross.
I'm glad to live in a generation where missions and missionaries are more grace-full and we don't go around beating people over the head with our Bibles. There's a lot more intentionality about loving people, serving people, blessing people, and along the way sharing our convictions about Truth. So that's the motivation for leaving the comforts of US. We found Singapore to be a place where both Jim and I could use our unique strengths (his in leadership devleopment and mine in theatre) to be part of God's kingdom work in this world. Just a couple of little specialized cogs in the work He's doing around the globe.
And it is amazing to live by faith...individuals financially support us as God leads them to "partner" with us...that still blows me away (even though it probably shouldn't - we have always supported other missionaries and still do - it's just kind of suprising when you're on the receiving end!). We've been taken care of financially thus far, and have had the money to live like the average Singaporean, make visits to the USA every 18 months, and go back to China on school holidays every year and a half too, AND HERE'S THE BEST PART: like many Singaporeans: we have a live in domestic helper! That's the GREATEST perk of living here! Someone else does my laundry, ironing, and dishes and house work. Isn't that strange? We live in what looks like a clean inner city ghetto - a high-rise concrete building -- in a grove of otehr high-rises -- but all the professionals who live around here, without extended family living with them, all have foreign maids! Very strange! We were without this kind of help the first 9 months here, and without a car, and honestly my life felt like a prison sentence in hell (it is very hot here and the apartment isn't airconditioned). God did a lot of stretching for me that first year (as in "my identity is NOT in what I accomplish for him, but who I am in him") but I am so glad that we have a helper now so that I can have the liberty to do something besides hang the laundry out to dry (and get mildewed in the humid weather!).
So, I get out and do some coaching, performing, writing, teaching in using drama as part of worship, outreach etc. I won't go into it all, but I'll copy a short monologue I'm helping a woman work on this week. I wrote it for an Easter pageant the year Tyler was born.
OK. Enough from me this morning!
It was great to hear from and about you. Send me your address sometime.
Blessings and continued GREAT joy,
K!Mberly
My boys are 9 and 5. Tyler finally came after we'd been married 8 years and has his dad's head for math and his mom's artistic temperament. We didn't want to go through the what-ifs of infertility again, so we adopted Cameron, who is practically perfect except that he is so tactile & sensual, we'll have to lock him up at puberty and arrange an immediate marriage! Both boys are bilingual...we all now speak Chinese!
That is something that until 1996 I had never even considerred and I'm still kind of trying to figure out what my place is in this Chinese world. I do have this deep sense of conviction that there is a reason, so I persevere at a bit of language study to keep up with Tyler and review the easier words with Cameron. It is NOT EASY to learn Chinese!!! Singapore's national language is English, but all children take "Mother Tongue" in school, and for Singaporeans this is either Mandarin Chinese, Malay, or Tamil (an indian language). They take school pretty serious here, and we are the only caucasian foreign family I know who has children in the local schools taking Mother Tongue (virtually all Americans put their children in the American School, or homeschool). We work pretty hard at not putting too much pressure on the kids and having fun, and it is working for now. It helps that both boys are NOT shy, and have a healthy self-confidence (Ty's is a bit TOO healthy).
There's a lot of aspects of living overseas that are fabulous, and others no so great (biggest being missing family & friends, missing convenience, familiarity, and the terrible heat and humidity here!). My husband Jim and I felt that our lives had been pretty cushy and we needed the stretch of living overseas to deepen us through some hardship (imagine, wishing hardship on oneself!). We still have a lot of growing to do, as we have seen sides of ourselves come out in the pressure that we didn't know were there!
But the main reason we live overseas is because of our conviction that Jesus was who he claimed to be, and he didn't lie when he claimed to be "the way, the truth, and the life" and that "no one comes to the Father except through me." In college I became really convicted about Jesus' last words to "go into all the world and make disciples." The last words of anyone are pretty important to pay attention to -- and these were the last words of a man who had just proved by resurrection that he was the incarnation of the living God! There are so many people who haven't even heard his name yet, let alone have had a chance to decide to follow him or not. It's not very popular in these pluralistic days to be so "narrow minded," but the Bible is pretty clear on God's jealousy about being the only God, and Jesus' claims to offer eternal salvation through his sacrifice on the cross.
I'm glad to live in a generation where missions and missionaries are more grace-full and we don't go around beating people over the head with our Bibles. There's a lot more intentionality about loving people, serving people, blessing people, and along the way sharing our convictions about Truth. So that's the motivation for leaving the comforts of US. We found Singapore to be a place where both Jim and I could use our unique strengths (his in leadership devleopment and mine in theatre) to be part of God's kingdom work in this world. Just a couple of little specialized cogs in the work He's doing around the globe.
And it is amazing to live by faith...individuals financially support us as God leads them to "partner" with us...that still blows me away (even though it probably shouldn't - we have always supported other missionaries and still do - it's just kind of suprising when you're on the receiving end!). We've been taken care of financially thus far, and have had the money to live like the average Singaporean, make visits to the USA every 18 months, and go back to China on school holidays every year and a half too, AND HERE'S THE BEST PART: like many Singaporeans: we have a live in domestic helper! That's the GREATEST perk of living here! Someone else does my laundry, ironing, and dishes and house work. Isn't that strange? We live in what looks like a clean inner city ghetto - a high-rise concrete building -- in a grove of otehr high-rises -- but all the professionals who live around here, without extended family living with them, all have foreign maids! Very strange! We were without this kind of help the first 9 months here, and without a car, and honestly my life felt like a prison sentence in hell (it is very hot here and the apartment isn't airconditioned). God did a lot of stretching for me that first year (as in "my identity is NOT in what I accomplish for him, but who I am in him") but I am so glad that we have a helper now so that I can have the liberty to do something besides hang the laundry out to dry (and get mildewed in the humid weather!).
So, I get out and do some coaching, performing, writing, teaching in using drama as part of worship, outreach etc. I won't go into it all, but I'll copy a short monologue I'm helping a woman work on this week. I wrote it for an Easter pageant the year Tyler was born.
OK. Enough from me this morning!
It was great to hear from and about you. Send me your address sometime.
Blessings and continued GREAT joy,
K!Mberly
4/14/2002
No Need for a Care Package
About a care package, We may live in the suburbs with the "heartlanders"(old Chinese immigrants) of Singapore, but we have discovered some of the more cosmopolitan stores downtown that cater to the ex-pats.
I found JASON'S a few weeks ago while waiting for Jim downtown. This oasis had handmade tortellinis, ESCARGOT and pate to name a couple of the things I was suprised by (and would never buy!)!
We've even found a Tony Roma's. So, I don't think we've any shortage. We have become quite used to the foods here too (in fact, my boys would rather have instant Chinese noodles over PB&J for lunch!). Over the last 5 years, we find we don't crave old favourites (guess we're not as homesick as we were!). AND there's no way you can send fresh donuts...so we'll just have to satisfy THOSE cravings when we're in the states!!!
(from an email to Jill Kaminski)
I found JASON'S a few weeks ago while waiting for Jim downtown. This oasis had handmade tortellinis, ESCARGOT and pate to name a couple of the things I was suprised by (and would never buy!)!
We've even found a Tony Roma's. So, I don't think we've any shortage. We have become quite used to the foods here too (in fact, my boys would rather have instant Chinese noodles over PB&J for lunch!). Over the last 5 years, we find we don't crave old favourites (guess we're not as homesick as we were!). AND there's no way you can send fresh donuts...so we'll just have to satisfy THOSE cravings when we're in the states!!!
(from an email to Jill Kaminski)
Should We Move Back to China?
Jim and I talked last night about the possibility of moving back to China in a few years...I told him my pre-requisite was that both of us take a course in general handyman stuff or we'd end up divorced in China. Stuff breaks ALL THE TIME there and neither of us can do much more than put in a lightbulb (and sometimes have trouble with that!!). We'll see how the climate for the ministry we can do opens up there. I could forseeably continue networking and writing over the internet from anywhere. Can you imagine how suprised people will be when they order a script (rarely happens, but) and I write back and tell them to mail the check to CHINA?
Funny thought.
RE: When Feeling Ignored, Assume the Best of Others
I have decided that every time I feel slighted I'm going to assume it was an error, or unintended. And when I approach people about it, it always turns out that this is true. I almost missed out on making one of my best friends in Singapore by not following up on one thing that she'd not responded on which felt like a real "in your face" kind of rejection. However, it turned out she'd overlooked it, and felt terribly.
I'm enjoying reading THE APPLAUSE OF HEAVEN right now, among other things. I need to go over the DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF little book too. Finally feeling like I've a healthy rhythm to life with a car, a dog, the kids happy, and being in a play that rehearses in the mornings - which is affording me an opportunity to really get to know some people. I'm starting to feel like myself again.
(from and email to Dave Calkins)
Funny thought.
RE: When Feeling Ignored, Assume the Best of Others
I have decided that every time I feel slighted I'm going to assume it was an error, or unintended. And when I approach people about it, it always turns out that this is true. I almost missed out on making one of my best friends in Singapore by not following up on one thing that she'd not responded on which felt like a real "in your face" kind of rejection. However, it turned out she'd overlooked it, and felt terribly.
I'm enjoying reading THE APPLAUSE OF HEAVEN right now, among other things. I need to go over the DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF little book too. Finally feeling like I've a healthy rhythm to life with a car, a dog, the kids happy, and being in a play that rehearses in the mornings - which is affording me an opportunity to really get to know some people. I'm starting to feel like myself again.
(from and email to Dave Calkins)
4/02/2002
A Big Week in Singapore
We had a great time in KM this December. We still really miss China, and for us it is even more refreshing to visit China than the states (no feelings of obligation in China - just the joy of seeing people we care about and seeing who else we'll meet while there). It was a perfect trip even with the TIC's we encountered daily (stories from China are SO much more interesting than here!)
But we still feel we're best used for the kingdom here (though we're learning to break our Americaness that it's all about personal fulfillment and more about joy in obedience!). I am beginning to thrive...though it's been a rough road.
I've done some workshops and a small bit of writing and performing. I have a small network of professionals I meet with to plan ways to network the believers here for developing and mutual growth. I feel really confident that after 2 years, in our different arenas, Jim and I have met the "who's who" and He has given us great favour with the influential people.
This week is big. Our organization is being established as a SIngaporean mentoring society, and the board meets for the first time this week - April 3rd at lunch. I feel amazed at the dream team who's coming on the board. Definitely from Him. If I talk about this with my drama friends, it really starts to sound like "name dropping," the names are so well known and respected in the Singaporean C circles, so I have stopped, unless they press me!
I begin rehearsals this week for the first major production I've committed to. A local club is putting $30,000 a production into a children's community theatre and has hired a gifted guy to produce them. Since it's a professional show they rehearse during the days and the boys will be in school, so I agreed to attend rehearsals and understudy (and mentor). We feel it's a great way to get me out of the house, challenged, and to get to know the director (whom I greatly admire). The cast who are mostly younger Singaporeans making a go at professional theatre and also know - to some degree- our friend.
So, I'm excited and a bit nervous. It will take some juggling, and we have a new helper whos still got a lot of training to do to feel confident. After 5 years of learning to live with feeling inefficient, and unproductive, or that my role is administration and wrestling with computer problems, and then the big lesson that came with it: how my identity is in who my Dad is and not what I do...which I'm not sure I've learned! I feel a little rusty about "getting out there." The producer wants me to direct in September, but we haven't found a suitable show yet (I just read a new musical version by Judith Viorst of Alexander and the Terrible, etc, it was good!), but the thought is pretty frightening at this point, though I imagine once I feel back in the swing of things, I'll be gung ho!
Kids are great. Cam just got over chicken pox, and is a charmer. Tyler is the class monitor, still doing Chinese, and has been doing work for commercials for local TV (English!). Both are sp. sensitive and Easter really touched them at different points during the week of talking about it and watching videos...so that's the most important thing!
But we still feel we're best used for the kingdom here (though we're learning to break our Americaness that it's all about personal fulfillment and more about joy in obedience!). I am beginning to thrive...though it's been a rough road.
I've done some workshops and a small bit of writing and performing. I have a small network of professionals I meet with to plan ways to network the believers here for developing and mutual growth. I feel really confident that after 2 years, in our different arenas, Jim and I have met the "who's who" and He has given us great favour with the influential people.
This week is big. Our organization is being established as a SIngaporean mentoring society, and the board meets for the first time this week - April 3rd at lunch. I feel amazed at the dream team who's coming on the board. Definitely from Him. If I talk about this with my drama friends, it really starts to sound like "name dropping," the names are so well known and respected in the Singaporean C circles, so I have stopped, unless they press me!
I begin rehearsals this week for the first major production I've committed to. A local club is putting $30,000 a production into a children's community theatre and has hired a gifted guy to produce them. Since it's a professional show they rehearse during the days and the boys will be in school, so I agreed to attend rehearsals and understudy (and mentor). We feel it's a great way to get me out of the house, challenged, and to get to know the director (whom I greatly admire). The cast who are mostly younger Singaporeans making a go at professional theatre and also know - to some degree- our friend.
So, I'm excited and a bit nervous. It will take some juggling, and we have a new helper whos still got a lot of training to do to feel confident. After 5 years of learning to live with feeling inefficient, and unproductive, or that my role is administration and wrestling with computer problems, and then the big lesson that came with it: how my identity is in who my Dad is and not what I do...which I'm not sure I've learned! I feel a little rusty about "getting out there." The producer wants me to direct in September, but we haven't found a suitable show yet (I just read a new musical version by Judith Viorst of Alexander and the Terrible, etc, it was good!), but the thought is pretty frightening at this point, though I imagine once I feel back in the swing of things, I'll be gung ho!
Kids are great. Cam just got over chicken pox, and is a charmer. Tyler is the class monitor, still doing Chinese, and has been doing work for commercials for local TV (English!). Both are sp. sensitive and Easter really touched them at different points during the week of talking about it and watching videos...so that's the most important thing!
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