Update for Rivendell Foundation: The NO Muscle

Broad, maybe even big things are happening over here in this tiny nation. Pastors and leaders mentoring networks are expanding in Indonesia, Malaysia, Myanmar, China and likely other places we aren’t aware of. Monthly, Jim coaches the leadership team of an international evangelism ministry through Skype, following their Focusing Leader’s Retreat earlier this year and they begin to pass on these mentoring values to those under their leadership.

Nearly every month lately Singaporeans or others in Singapore have approached Jim and CRMS about the possibility of joining staff. This year we’ve doubled our 6 (4 Singaporean, 2 Chinese) to 9 (5 Singaporeans, 1 Indian, 3 Chinese).

And yet, it’s the seemingly small things, contradicting what we think of as “strategic” or “influential,” that I want to write two stories about this year.

Late last year (2009), I (Kimberly) was trying to hold firm in my Spirit led resolution to strengthen my “NO” muscle. I needed to focus on some challenges on the home front, so I sent a facebook message that went something like this:

“Your Church’s Christmas outreach with your Filipino congregation sounds like a great idea, but I can’t help you out that weekend. I also think it’s something that you two are equipped to do even better than I could. I won’t help you that day, but I will meet with you to brainstorm ideas of how YOU can do it.”

A few weeks later, on a Friday before our CRMS staff meeting, the young couple met me at a coffee shop near the CRMS office. Gabriel, an emerging leader, a Chinese Singaporean who works as his church’s administrator, and Hannah, soon to give birth to their firstborn. She’s an Australian young woman who had met Gabriel while a missionary in Cambodia and he’d come up to Phnom Pen on a short-term mission trip. We brainstormed some ideas of how to engage Filipino maids (domestic helpers) in an outreach by offering some creative and meaningful arts/crafts. They settled on helping participants create a journal. At the event, the participants would start it, then send it back to children or other family in the Philippines asking their families to add their own stories to return back to Singapore at the end of 2010. Hannah and Gabriel would also spend time at the event helping the women think of more ways to bridge the miles between them and their loved ones and give a short gospel talk about the bridge that God took to connect us to himself through Jesus.

What I didn’t know was that by my exercising the power in “NO,” I would also discover over coffee that this couple was in a “boundary time” in their development as leaders. They are dreaming of being missionaries to Japan, looking for an agency and needing someone to coach them through decisions in that direction. They didn’t know me through CRMS, they knew me through theatre connections. They didn’t know much about our organization. That day I invited them to follow me to our staff meeting that afternoon. They could meet the others and get a feel for the ethos of the office. In a society where day-planners are often packed with commitments, this couple had the afternoon free and we had a delightful afternoon welcoming them to our staff meeting.

And, their Christmas Outreach was a great success without me.

We’re now coming up on a year later. Gabriel and Hannah would still like to go to Japan and are determining next steps. They have a sweet baby boy, are part of a Focused Living Mentoring Group we’ve put together for some artistic younger couples who are in transition. Having got to know them better over the past few months, I have no doubt that the FL process is exactly what they needed and will be influential in helping shape their future – even though it will not likely be with CRMS. They’ve also had some set backs: Hannah’s been healed, and then recently re-diagnosed with cancer. They’re still waiting on God for a lot of things. They have astounding peace and grace in it all. They could use your prayers.

For Rivendell Foundation:

“And LORD, please show us a way, as a family, to show your love the poor. We need to know more about living sacrificially and service. We want to somehow make a difference in the lives of the underprivileged that requires more from us than going on a short mission trip to another country, or simply writing a check.”

It had been a nightly part of my bedtime prayers with my younger son for more than a year. My boys are now in their teens, and have been ministry kids their entire lives. As they get nearer to jumping out of the nest, I’ve been more and more desperate for them to live a life of faith that requires some sacrifice on their part.

You see, our ministry here in Singapore is primarily coaching and empowering spiritual leaders in thriving churches and mission organizations. It is not the kind of missions that brings over short term groups from home churches in North America. No one comes to Singapore to roll up their sleeves and build a house for the homeless, or make improvements to the local orphanage or give nutrition lessons or vitamin A shots to prevent blindness in malnourished babies. Here in Singapore, we’re geographically situated where natural disasters are not likely to happen. The city/state of Singapore is a nation that is growing in it’s own resources and commitment to relief and missions and sending teams out from here as if we are the “Antioch of Asia.”

Having lived in a city in China, in our first two years of language study, my boys have seen the destitute. However, we rarely did more than play in the park with them or briefly practice our fledgling Mandarin. We made friends with educated Chinese. We mixed with homeowners, not street vendors.

These past 11 years in first-world Singapore we’ve chosen to live in the suburbs of government high-rise housing, but 90+% of the nation lives like this. The interiors of these apartments vary widely. The “haves” and the “have nots” are not usually extremely a “have” or a “not.” We all purchase our vegetables and fresh meat together in the local wet market, but even most Singaporean neighbors don’t befriend the Hawkers. I chat each morning with the coffee man, and know the grocery clerks by name. I teach baking to the twin daughters of the video store owner, and share children’s books with the younger son. But we haven’t shared many meals with any of them. There are the day laborers from Sri Lanka or Burma or Bangladesh who keep the public grounds clean. We can’t speak with them in their languages, but can share a thank you and smile with each day.

So, you see, even though we’re missionaries ourselves, and even perhaps seen as “the needy” to some of my expat friends or donors, these boys of ours are growing up with the sense of entitlement I hate in myself.

And then, after living here more than a year, she started following me home. Yi Hui, the little neighborhood stray child who never spoke to anyone and didn’t seem to have a friend or family. If she engaged you, it was to stick out her tongue and stare. When we bought a puppy a year ago, something changed. She was very attracted to him whenever she would see him out on a walk. Finally one day when I greeted her with “Jack”, she opened up. She does speak! I was glad to have learned Mandarin so that we could converse.

We were gone for most of the summer in 2010; a college road trip, and quick visit to family and supporters stateside before the CRM Worldwide conference in Langkawi Malaysia. But when we returned in August, she started showing up everyday, on the playground, following me home, entering my home. She’d tell me that there was no one at home to look after her until late at night. She’d change the subject if I started asking about her family. She’d tell me she was hungry. I started earnestly digging in to finding out who her guardians are and what the details are about her schooling, and her developmental delays and low IQ. As she became a daily fixture in the Creasman’s home I asked the LORD for wisdom in boundaries. As clear as if it were an audible voice, and without a moment’s hesitation I heard our Saviour say, “If you’ve done it unto the least of these, you’ve done it for me.”

Now it’s a few weeks later, I’ve met most of the family, and it’s messy. As we navigate tricky relationships with elderly housebound Chinese grandparents, the school and Singapore’s social services system, I’m hearing more resistant voices. The voices of my sons.

“She’s so ANNOYING!” complains my 13 year old.

“She’s the answer to our prayers.” I reply and tease him that she’s forcing him to practice his rusty Chinese, and making him (our notorious “C-” student on a good week), seem like an academic superstar in comparison. “I know it’s inconvenient for you, but God has brought her to us and you get to model his love to her. She is the key who is opening relationships throughout the neighborhood. People here are coming to know Jesus partly because they see Jesus in you when you show kindness to her.”

When she showed up at 7AM today (the local school has the day off), it was before my older one had even gotten out of bed. Pulling the covers over his head he complained completely straight, “Why doesn’t she get a life and find some real parents?” I hit him with a pillow. Both of my boys managed to escape the house before I was ready with the dog for his morning walk to school…today with an 11 year old girl tagging along.

“Come upstairs with me to meet her family.” I asked my 17 year old son who’s in the midst of college applications and his last year of playing American football. “Mother,” he said, “You choose your own path.”

“Yes, that is true; but my path will always affect YOUR path, so it might be nice for you to get on board.” He rolled his eyes, but showed up at their door 20 minutes later and wowed them with his immaculate Chinese and manners. He even kissed me goodbye in front of them when he headed off with a friend.

When we were all sitting around the table at lunch after church on Sunday (she went to church for the second week in a row) they both were joking and complaining over the weekend about being embarrassed by me bringing her along. I surprised even me and started to cry for the first time in a long time. Both boys instantly shaped up and turned tender and apologized and came nearer to me to sit close. Little Yi Hui was inbetween it all and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it all, but you can bet it made an impression on her. It sure did on my boys. They turned a bit of a corner in their attitude about and toward her. Perhaps even toward me. Even better if toward God.

It’s been a season of relative isolation for me. God’s called me away from my long-term commitments in teaching drama or working on theatre projects for churches, or having regular mentoring groups. I’ve been clearing my calendar from nearly all activities but personal ministry with artists I’ve mentored for a long while, one focused living couples group, a church home group and a women’s Bible Study. It seems I’m losing my life-long passion for theatre. I’m a high energy, creative person and have a half dozen ideas a day of what can be done in ministry. I used to act on many of those ideas . My husband has called me the “Tazmanian Devil.” However, recently my favorite activity has been simply “Listening Prayer.” I’ve drawn near to Christ and for the first time in a long life of being an active Christian I have the joy of learning to be idle; abiding in him and waiting on him. The only ongoing creative endeavor I’ve begun in the past year has been strangely to take up playing the piano. Not ordinary piano class. No, I sensed this strange call to learn how to play children’s songs on the piano and get more domestic in my late 40’s. And now I know why: Yi Hui loves music and is learning spelling and rules for behavior if put to simple tunes.

Would it surprise you to know that she has been the key to opening up new opportunities to share the Gospel DAILY in my mostly Buddhist or Agnostic neighborhood? Of course not.

Would it surprise you to know that since I locked the front door in order to write this story down, she’s been knocking on the door and trying the door knob to get in the whole time? Maybe. 

I think I'll go answer it.

"My Life Could Be Reality TV Show."

This is what Tyler said a few weeks ago when he woke up on a Saturday morning, lifted up his head and saw the sillouette of our 11 year old Chinese neighbor girl in his bedroom doorway. "Where are the hidden cameras following our every crazy move?"

He's right. The last few weeks have been extraordinary and entertaining.

But if our life is a reality TV show, then last night was the Season Finale Cliff Hanger!


1. [EXTERIOR. Void Deck of HDB building. First floor cement courtyard of government housing apartments. KIMBERLY stands with OLD MAN who offers his dog to her.]

OLD MAN: 

Ni yao ma? Wo gei ni. [Do you want? I'll give you.]

[He next holds out a can of nutrtional supplements to KIMBERLY.]

Ni yao ma? Wo gei ni.

2. [INTERIOR. Knock at the door, KIMBERLY answers. YI HUI is standing there smiling.]


3.  [EXTERIOR. School. KIMBERLY meets another mother who loves dogs and dog sitting]

KIMBERLY: 

You guys serious about getting a dog? I met a man the other day who wants to give away his Beagle.

CANADIAN LISA: 

Uhhh. Sure. We could meet him. Why not?

4. [INTERIOR. Knock at the door, KIMBERLY answers. NEIGHBOR PANSY standing outside.]

PANSY: 

Hi! I found the old man with the Beagle is serious. He does want to find a new owner for his dog. I told him to come over since you have a friend who might be interested.

5. [INTERIOR. Knock at the door, KIMBERLY answers. YI HUI is standing there smiling.]

6. [INTERIOR. Knock at the door, KIMBERLY answers. OLD MAN WITH BEAGLE  standing outside]

OLD MAN: 

Xing Chi San? 5 dian. Hao [Wednesday, 5 o'clock. Okay.]

7. [INTERIOR. KIMBERLY dials. Phone rings. CANADIAN LISA answers]

KIMBERLY: 

Hey Lisa! My neighbor, the old man with the beagle wants to meet you. I'll come along to translate.

It wasn't for the doggie date that I got dressed up that particular day. It's just that I was tired of seeing myeslf wearing flip flops, shorts and old t-shirts everyday. In the early afternoon I'd gone to get my hair cut and styled downstairs, so I had put on a pretty little white dress and after getting my hair done, I even met up with a friend later to get pedicures.

By 5PM I was looking pretty feminine and not at all like a heartlander Auntie. CANADIAN Lisa, her children THISBY (12) and EMMETT (10). The OLD MAN and his BEAGLE. My dog JACK and our little neighbor friend, my constant companion, YI HUI all met in the playground downstairs from my apartment. Talked about the dog's personality and his routine. Tried my best to translate. THISBY is eager to have him. LISA's husband is traveling and she's not ready to make a commitment.

OLD MAN says to LISA, "Okay, never mind. You want to take him overnight for a trial?"

LISA balks, knowing that to do this is as good as a commitment with the kids. I suggest we walk over to the man's home so he can show us more of the dog's routine. Everyone thinks this is a good idea. It's only 2 buildings away. The 9th floor. We arrive to his home just as his WIFE and MAID are coming back.

We all take off our shoes and enter the spartan white walled living room, or "hall" as it's called here. Marble tiled floor. White walls. Traditional Chinese furniture: cherry wood framed marble seats and backs to the "couch" and chair. virtually nothing on the walls, except a chinese watercolor of a flower and a digital clock with a picture of a Budda over it.

We hear about the food: just give him any leftovers you have. he eats anything. We hear about discipline: "Just use this bamboo stick I keep on the 'fridgerator to whack him if he gets out of line."

OLD MAN demonstrates the whacking.

We hear about the sleeping arrangement: "Just lay down some old cardboard on the floor. He sleeps on that."

The children are having fun watching my dog JACK and the BEAGLE romp around the cold stone living room floor as he tell us what a good natured and easy dog she is. Barking and giggling bounce off the bare walls. He invites us to sit and goes into the nearby kitchen for a short while. LISA and I take in the surroundings. "Cozy." I comment. LISA tries not to laugh.

OLD MAN returns with the canister of the nutritional supplement. FitSolution, Swiss made "cell nutrition." Asks if I'd like to try some while Im there at the house. Sure. Why not.

Moments later he returns with a small tupperware plastic cup (vintage 70's) stirring some powder that makes bright orange juice inside. LISA is finding it hard not to laugh. The children continue to sit on the floor and clap their hands at the dogs who vacillate between making friends and getting into a brawl.

I'm finding it a challenge to adequately understand, let alone translate for LISA. This solution is supposed to absorb immediately into the bloodstream and is not hampered by digestive system. Energy goes directly to the blood stream to increase circulation and seek out the weak or sick parts of your body and provide the nutrients needed to fight diseases. I sipped the juice and think about how I'm overdue for a complete physical and how lethargic I've been not doing regular cardio exercise. How the past year I've had erratic heart beats and dizzy spells. I wonder if I'm understanding the OLD MAN as he shows me the places on his head where hair has grown back, tells of his daughter who no longer has headaches or low blood pressure, and talks about how fit he and his family have been the last 6 months they've been using this product.

The OLD MAN rinses out my cup and gives a sample to LISA who begins to sip, but sneaks a few tastes to her children while the OLD MAN is not looking.

"No, no!" he proclaims. "You must drink it all yourself." He goes to get some pamphlets on the product, LISA sneaks another sip to the kids. By the time she's finished her portion (potion?), we've been shown articles and brochures and had more lectures which I only partially understand. One of us starts to suggest we "make a move" as we say in Singapore, which means: LEAVE.

I started to feel warm and LISA and the KIDS stare at my face, wide-eyed.

"Kimberly! You should see your face! You're turning bright red!"

The MAN helps me find a mirror in a nearby room to see my face looking like I've been on a tanning bed for an hour and a half. My hands are tingling as the man keeps repeating,

OLD MAN & WIFE: "This shows that it is working!" 


LISA: "Kimberly! Do you feel okay?" "Why are you laughing? I'm starting to freak out!" "Do you want me to call James?" "Is this going to happen to me in about 5 minutes?" "Oh no! And I've given some to the kids!"

It's actually cracking me up to be in such a situation. I've lived in China and around Chinese people so long that I'm not really scared about what's happening to me. They are always so confident when it comes to health and remedies, and they are such a cautious people that I figure I must be okay. But I do look like I'm turning into a beet! Especially against the bright white dress I'm wearing.

I look down at my hands and the palms of my hands are also bright red. The bright red color on the palms of my hands stops at my wrists which have remained natural colored. I'm feeling a bit light headed.

"I don't think I'm quite able to go home just yet." I say, as I find my way back to my chair and sit down. The others are talking to me. My head starts to spin and I feel nauseated. I just need to rest.

I hear LISA. What's James' phone number? Does he know where we are?

The next thing I knew I was waking up from a dream. My head on my orange juice stained front of my white dress. I was wretching. The others ran to get a pail and a wet cloth. Both smelled bad, and it made me wretch more.

The kids and LISA told me that I had leaned over and put my head between my knees, and she'd thought, "Wow, Kimberly really knows what to do in this situation." Then I had sat up, placed my hands across my chest and stared, wide-eyed, but not seeing. "Your eyes were open but you were clearly not there." is what LISA said. Then I let out a huge sigh and slumped over. Only for a moment, though, 'cause that's when I'd thrown up on myself and woke up. They were clearly freaked out.

The OLD MAN explained, and then he got his daughter who speaks English on the phone to explain that this is a common reaction when using it for the first time. The nutrients and energy were attracted to the part in my body that is sick and bringing healing. The next time I take it, the reaction won't be as severe.

Groggily I translated "next time." for LISA who said, "Next time. Yeah. Right."

While I talked on the phone with his grown daughter (in English), the OLD MAN excused himself to the kitchen where he and his wife commenced eating their dinner. LISA and I were starting to feel like this was about the most surreal experience we'd ever had after years of living in multiple cross cultural contexts.

As I mopped up the mess on the front of my dress I didn't realize that this episode was only PART I of this incredible evening.

I'll have to wait to finish later, so let's call this the season finale cliff hanger of my Reality TV Show. I'll write out PART II another day.

Freedom from Being Grieved Beyond Grace | Hearts Set Free Blog

Freedom from Being Grieved Beyond Grace | Hearts Set Free Blog

A distant cousin in Florida is a gifted writer. I love reading her posts. This one is especially good for our Asian culture that likes to sweep hard and deep emotions under the carpet.

Let's all learn to mourn better so that we can know and be blessed by the comfort of God.

Friends praying and encouraging through facebook messages...

MONDAY status:

Kimberly Creasman 's sad...no MAD in Clementi. The Chinese-immigrant-absentee-mother-of-the neglected-autistic-neighbor-stray-girl told the impotent-and-ignorant-physically and mentally crippled grandparent-guardians that she cannot come to my house and I should not speak to her in the common areas. Just let her continue to fail forward in school and live in her cage. Super. Now what?

WEDNESDAY note; I do need wisdom! And more grace. As of Tuesday afternoon, the school teacher and counselor had not been able to reach the mother by phone yet, but I've met with them for advice on the matter and have hope for the future. 


In the following 24 hours i went downstairs only 2 times; and both times God orchestrated it so that the little girl 'happened' to be down running and errand or waiting outside the grocery store while grandma was inside. I was then able to tell her that we will "obey her mother's wishes and pray and ask Jesus to help change her heart about Yi Hui coming to spend time with me." Last week, Yi Hui was with me when I prayed to Jesus about having lost my nicest purse - left it sitting open for 4 hours in a public place - and together we found it with everything there. She also was here when I was praying together with a friend last week. I think she understands some, but today even my dog is depressed missing his little friend who gave him so much attention. I was just SOOO mad the other day. The dad and grandparents and I agreed on a plan for boundaries and rewards for good behaviour with her, and then the unreachable mother made such a fierce verdict on the following day, the eve of a school holiday week.