On Feeling Guilty/Convicted: How to know the difference between Satan's Voice and The Holy Spirit

After reading a sweet email from a conscientious friend who was responding about her feelings she was wrestling with after reading the blog article below, I picked up a book I'm reading through with the bible study gals here in Singapore: The 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make.

It was a segment headed:

"So what do I do with the guilt?"

Just a refresher, I'm sure, but here's the bullets of what Pam Farrel wrote about processing guilt feelings:

If it's from Satan, he will make you feel

• Condemned
• Confused (half-truths, conflicting statements, distractions)
• Calloused (I give up, why try! it's hopeless)
• Driven to overcompensation (taking on responsibility that isn't yours to take on feeling, "If I don't do it, no one will" and fall headlong into a martyr role!)

If the conviction is from the Holy Spirit, he will

• Be consistent (you keep getting the same message, in line with God's word, from a number of sources that point to the issue)
• Be positive (even if it's strong, you won't feel like you are stupid, useless, hopeless etc!)
• Be forward thinking (showing you long term consequences or long range eternal reasons why a behavior change or action is good- keeping end results in view)
• Be specific (instead of vague innuendoes, and generalizations. ie he won't say, "yesterday was a waste of time" he may say, "you let yourself get sidetracked again by ___, what can we do to avoid that next time?"

"As you sort through the expectations that everyone has about you and your life, remember that healthy boundaries will send you back toward God. he will remind you: you are salt- one grain. You are light- a lght! A woman knows her place in His plan when she knows she is talented and capable but limited, and only God is limitless."

May we all sense the grace-filled leading of the Holy Spirit, not serve out of "oughts and shoulds" but out of a true sense of obedience to his calling. May we accept our limits, and be willing to obey when he calls us to be stretched in our faith and service.

In transit in BJ

It's a sweet season of ministry- To be away and get messages from Singaporans while away. Being truly missed. Being eager to get back.

Finally, after all these years invested there, I feel in some ways like I'm going HOME.

Though being on the Air China flight, and on the same flight w some Miss'ys we know from Kunming (imagine that!), I kinda miss REAL China, and all the craziness there!

A Month Home: Schitzophrenically Glorious and Rotten at the Same Time

Psalm 34:6-8

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;

   he saved him out of all his troubles.

⁷ The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,

   and he delivers them.

 ⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good; 

   blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

-a status update from Leslie Green at the top of my newsfeed 

when i awoke the other day at 4AM from a bad dream.

Coming Home...


We're so extremely blessed. I think I count 7 times we've been back since 1997. 7 times in 14 years! Sure, I have expat friends in Asia who return twice a year. But at least I didn't pack my stuff in my coffin when we headed out. This is what many missionaries did in previous generations. We've averaged coming back about every other year. This is a privilege of being a missionary in an age of air travel and frequent flier benefits. We're not complete strangers at home! Still, we can feel a bit alien returning...but I'll write about that in a minute. [NOTE: Now I'm dealing with it in a proper way, and that section is deleted! I apologize to those who were wrongfully hurt by the original, and am grateful if my lack of grace and forbearance has served to make things better.]

   

Our time in the USA started out with a sweet, unforgettable two weeks with family. We celebrated my parents' 50th Anniversary with our small but close extended family vacationing together. The adults had great joy in seeing the 4 cousins wrestling and giggling and making new memories despite their age difference (8-18) and the fact that they are being raised on opposite sides of the earth. This carefree joy of late June was followed by the inevitable feeling of needing to be productive in July.

After a week of reconnecting in the South Bay, there was a growing heartache over seeing first-hand the effects of the recession in the US. Many friends who are out of work, or living with less, or trying to get things done at work with hacked budgets. 

[text removed]

Returning Home





We can turn our hearts back to Singapore with joyful anticipation. 


I know our son Tyler, whom we left behind to start university, is READY. I'm confident that God has blessed our flawed parenting of him with enough grace and wisdom to produce an offspring who is going to make a difference for good in this world. And most likely that will be cross-culturally. We've raised a child who can navigate between worlds with understanding, confidence and remarkable insights from his multi-cultural upbringing. I'm so excited for him and this new stage of his life, I've not yet connected to the grief of losing him and not knowing when I'll see him again.


After 12 years serving the Singaporean churches, it's a sweet season of ministry here. Getting messages from singaporans while away, and being truly missed, we were eager to get back. Finally, after all these years investing our lives here, I feel in many ways like I'm going HOME. 

Thanks again... 



We are always especially thankful to our parents who've sacrificed so much in losing us all these years as we've been overseas instead of down the street. And thank you for always allowing us invade your tranquil lives when we come back. 


 
And last, SPECIAL heaps of gratitude to Karen Boden, Megan Moore, Betty Lindholm, the Nygren Family, the Farrels and the Aanderuds for the multiple ways you gave of your love, advocacy and sacrificial support! You are heros for Christ's Great Commission: seeing the good news of our Saviour spread, and his church growing and healthy to the ends of the earth.  Plus you are just good friends. We are so blessed by you!

Psalm 16

 ¹ Keep me safe, my God,

   for in you I take refuge.

 ² I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;

   apart from you I have no good thing.”

³ I say of the holy people who are in the land,

   “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”

⁴ Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.

   I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods

   or take up their names on my lips.

 ⁵ LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup;

   you make my lot secure.

⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

   surely I have a delightful inheritance.

⁷ I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;

   even at night my heart instructs me.

⁸ I keep my eyes always on the LORD.

   With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

 ⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

   my body also will rest secure,

¹⁰ because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,

   nor will you let your faithful^[b] one see decay.

¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;

   you will fill me with joy in your presence,

   with eternal pleasures at your right hand.