After reading a sweet email from a conscientious friend who was responding about her feelings she was wrestling with after reading the blog article below, I picked up a book I'm reading through with the bible study gals here in Singapore: The 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make.
It was a segment headed:
"So what do I do with the guilt?"
Just a refresher, I'm sure, but here's the bullets of what Pam Farrel wrote about processing guilt feelings:
If it's from Satan, he will make you feel
- Condemned
- Confused (half-truths, conflicting statements, distractions)
- Calloused (I give up, why try! it's hopeless)
- Driven to overcompensation (taking on responsibility that isn't yours to take on feeling, "If I don't do it, no one will" and fall headlong into a martyr role!)
If the conviction is from the Holy Spirit, he will
- Be consistent (you keep getting the same message, in line with God's word, from a number of sources that point to the issue)
- Be positive (even if it's strong, you won't feel like you are stupid, useless, hopeless etc!)
- Be forward thinking (showing you long term consequences or long range eternal reasons why a behavior change or action is good- keeping end results in view)
- Be specific (instead of vague innuendoes, and generalizations. ie he won't say, "yesterday was a waste of time" he may say, "you let yourself get sidetracked again by ___, what can we do to avoid that next time?"
"As you sort through the expectations that everyone has about you and your life, remember that healthy boundaries will send you back toward God. he will remind you: you are salt- one grain. You are light- a lght! A woman knows her place in His plan when she knows she is talented and capable but limited, and only God is limitless."
May we all sense the grace-filled leading of the Holy Spirit, not serve out of "oughts and shoulds" but out of a true sense of obedience to his calling. May we accept our limits, and be willing to obey when he calls us to be stretched in our faith and service.
3 comments:
I read your marvelous post and immediately bought the book... thanks, friend!
okay--I was the "friend" who responded to the blog--and here's what I said (with tiny edits):
Big sigh. I wish I had seen you when you were here—but maybe then reading your blog might not have hit me so hard. I seriously could just sit here at my desk and cry for awhile. There is so much of the (godly) lament in what you wrote about your “home” church… as I started reading I wondered if you were talking about us (and my spirit was saying “no! no! I don’t think that is true here” until I reasoned with myself that you were talking about elsewhere and I calmed down and tried not to feel let off the hook.
But then I didn’t want to calm down. I wanted to “own” what it is within me that is displeasing to the Lord, that sends backpacks (check), buys products from micro-businesses around the globe (check), contributes tens of thousands of dollars annually to missions, both short-term and career and projects (check), prays for missionaries daily (check)—and then feels in ANY way like I’ve done what God has asked of me??
About two years ago I realized that the Disneyland fireworks go off every night around 9:38 and if I’m home, I usually hear them. I’ve turned that into a prayer reminder to stop whatever I’m doing and pray Matthew 9:38—and I beseech the Lord of the harvest to send forth workers. That is usually 4-5 times a week that we’re in the area or that I can hear them over the TV (!). And again—lately I’ve thought, “prayed Matt 9:38, check—BUT what if I AM THE WORKER He wants to send?? Would I even understand what He was saying?”
Please pray for our hearts, that they would be softened and breaking anew over what breaks God’s. And that I wouldn’t feel like “Whew! Glad K!Mberly didn’t see that “cancer” among us, so we must be okay.” I don’t want to be okay—I want to be holy.
Hi, Do you happen to know the block number of the malay barber in your flikr photo http://www.flickr.com/photos/spicetolife/4408124029/in/photostream
Thanks!
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