Psalm 34:6-8
New International Version (NIV)
6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
-a status update from Leslie Green at the top of my newsfeed
when i awoke the other day at 4AM from a bad dream.
Coming Home...
We're so extremely blessed. I think I count 7 times we've been back since 1997. 7 times in 14 years! Sure, I have expat friends in Asia who return twice a year. But at least I didn't pack my stuff in my coffin when we headed out. This is what many missionaries did in previous generations. We've averaged coming back about every other year. This is a privilege of being a missionary in an age of air travel and frequent flier benefits. We're not complete strangers at home! Still, we can feel a bit alien returning...but I'll write about that in a minute. [NOTE: Now I'm dealing with it in a proper way, and that section is deleted! I apologize to those who were wrongfully hurt by the original, and am grateful if my lack of grace and forbearance has served to make things better.]
Our time in the USA started out with a sweet, unforgettable two weeks with family. We celebrated my parents' 50th Anniversary with our small but close extended family vacationing together. The adults had great joy in seeing the 4 cousins wrestling and giggling and making new memories despite their age difference (8-18) and the fact that they are being raised on opposite sides of the earth. This carefree joy of late June was followed by the inevitable feeling of needing to be productive in July.
After a week of reconnecting in the South Bay, there was a growing heartache over seeing first-hand the effects of the recession in the US. Many friends who are out of work, or living with less, or trying to get things done at work with hacked budgets.
[text removed]
Returning Home
We can turn our hearts back to Singapore with joyful anticipation.
I know our son Tyler, whom we left behind to start university, is READY. I'm confident that God has blessed our flawed parenting of him with enough grace and wisdom to produce an offspring who is going to make a difference for good in this world. And most likely that will be cross-culturally. We've raised a child who can navigate between worlds with understanding, confidence and remarkable insights from his multi-cultural upbringing. I'm so excited for him and this new stage of his life, I've not yet connected to the grief of losing him and not knowing when I'll see him again.
After 12 years serving the Singaporean churches, it's a sweet season of ministry here. Getting messages from singaporans while away, and being truly missed, we were eager to get back. Finally, after all these years investing our lives here, I feel in many ways like I'm going HOME.
Thanks again...
We are always especially thankful to our parents who've sacrificed so much in losing us all these years as we've been overseas instead of down the street. And thank you for always allowing us invade your tranquil lives when we come back.
And last, SPECIAL heaps of gratitude to Karen Boden, Megan Moore, Betty Lindholm, the Nygren Family, the Farrels and the Aanderuds for the multiple ways you gave of your love, advocacy and sacrificial support! You are heros for Christ's Great Commission: seeing the good news of our Saviour spread, and his church growing and healthy to the ends of the earth. Plus you are just good friends. We are so blessed by you!
Psalm 16
1 Keep me safe, my God,
for in you I take refuge.
2 I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing.”
3 I say of the holy people who are in the land,
“They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”
4 Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
or take up their names on my lips.
5 LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup;
you make my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I keep my eyes always on the LORD.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
nor will you let your faithful[b] one see decay.
11 You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
3 comments:
I want to connect with you myself to tell you that I'm sorry for hurting you by the words I had chosen. It is tough to try to describe our experience returning to Rolling Hills over the years, and the strong feelings of protectiveness for other missionaries who are sent from our home church. It is also quite difficult to articulate what is overwhelming sense of care and affection from individuals, and the sense we get from being at church, on the property, and organizing through the missions office. We know that none of it is intentional, and so much of it may be our neediness from trying to navigate both cultures and wrong expectations on my part. I initiated a long conversation with Janet Charlin yesterday to help me gain perspective and pray about what God would have us do productively serving the church in this area, so that I'm part of the solution.
On one of my first jet lagged mornings back here I wrote about our summer experience for 4 hours straight. Jim was still in US. He's so much more the sensible, balanced one. I had sat on the original article for days, and after he'd read it, it was another couple days before he gave me some feedback. Mostly grammar. After talking with you, he wishes he'd been more focused in giving me input.
I'm still sorting out my feelings. Guilt is one of them because I myself can do better at caring for missionaries we support or who come through Singapore! I'm trying to think through the realities of what's happened in staffing and budgeting and leading since we've been gone, and what I could have done differently. Everyone is trying their best. As one pastor explained it, "trying to lead all of the issues and people and events of the church is like a huge mighty river. So much goes into just keeping us from not overflowing and flooding the banks..."
However, we are thankful that he called you yesterday and you had the courage to bring it up. Your questions for Jim and insights from your side of things (the inside!) drove me back to the blog and computer keyboard. Drove me back to my knees. How do I articulate what probably every returning missionary feels (except for maybe Dennis Wadley/Bridges staff), without making people feel defensive? It's not an RHCC problem. It's a body of Christ problem. Nearly every missionary i know would read that article and say: you're writing about MY church!
I've spent some time re-writing based on your questions and insights (passed on through Jim). If you've the time to read the section I've changed (and is now on the blog), I'd like to know if the way I describe it here describes and gives insight without offending. I written more. Working at figuring out how to make something good out of it, be an advocate to rally more missionary care around the world.
Your input regarding this is really valued. Again, I want to say, I'm sorry if I have hurt you and would appreciate more insight if you have some to give.
Wow...even reading the edited version of your blog post, I was cheering and trembling at the same time! Hahahaha. In general, you hit the nail on the head IMO based on our interactions with partner churches in our part of the USA. We visited one in a planned fashion with no acknowledgement, and also offered constructive criticism to a couple of others (solicited) about how they could do better with missionaries. Will it make a difference? Sadly, I doubt it. I told one guy I think the evangelical church in the USA is so obsessed with hearing more sermons in order to be "good Christians" that their necks are stuck looking down at their navels while Jesus screams for us to look up at the harvest fields. That's how I see it...in general. It seems the missional Christian is a dwindling breed in the conventional churches.
http://www.dualreach.org/missions/synergy/email/AUG07.shtml in praise of the church's mission vision and enthusiasm.
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