If you’ve been my friend for more than a year, you know my drill at the end of the year...
LOOKING BACK
This year
Iearned to..
I can now use
the remote controls.* Hand lettering on a chalkboard, and watercolor bleeds as
a base to calligraphy. Wordswag. Shoot a handgun (on Tyler’s 22nd)
(*don’t hold
your breath for gaming)
Oh yes! I
learned that my irritation at the sounds of other people’s eating noises is not
uncommon. It’s called Misophonia.
Others’ throat clearing, coffee sipping, chewing noises are sometimes
unbearable. Like I can’t hear anything else and I want to leave the room. This
article made me know I’m not alone in this struggle to live with (and try to
hide) the irritation. http://www.wsj.com/articles/annoyed-by-loud-chewing-the-problem-is-you-1445277757
I grew most
in…A Scripture verse, passage or book that was
important to me was…
Ephesians 4:21-24 teaches
us:
… when you heard about Christ and were
taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught,
with regard to your former way of life, to put
off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be
made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Also Colossians 3:8-10 ESV
But now you must put them
all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do
not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being
renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
2015 brought a
lot of learning about spiritual strongholds and walking in freedom from them.
So many dovetails into this topic and intentionally digging in research and
reading. The cycle of Shame, Fear & Control. Listening to teaching from
Restoring the Foundations. Essential Teaching, and Walking it Out (30 days of
emails with links to short teaching that came after I bought the pack of
essential teaching http://stores.rtfresources.org).
Another Scripture passage that meant a lot to me was…
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks
in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thess 5:16-18
Job 33:31-33 Pay
attention, Job, and listen to me; be
silent, and I will speak. If you
have anything to say, answer me; speak
up, for I want to vindicate you. But if
not, then listen to me; be silent, and I
will teach you wisdom.
Memorable Song or Movie: After he had passed away, "Good to be Alive” was playing on the radio in my father-in-law's car the first time I got in to drive the car. It was as if he were sending a message from the grave.
The best word
of advice or encouragement I can remember: “Think of
eternity and live backwards from that.”
One of my best
adventures was… March: While Jim
recovered from surgery I drove with the dog Jack up to SLO to stay with Tyler
for the weekend that happened to be St. Fratrick’s Day disaster (early in the
morning, a frat house roof caved in and kids who’d been standing on it were
hospitalized). August: Taking
Cameron to Liberty Univeristy and getting him set up in the dorms, and then
driving to Ft. Benning with my brother Kevin to see Tyler in his new home there. The first time since college days that Kevin and I had a long stretch
of time to talk with one another. This happened again in October when he was in
LA for business, we had dinner together. It was nice to relax and enjoy
uninterrupted time after all these years.
I saw/knew God
was doing something when… February: Howard fell and
went to the hospital (the beginning of the end) a day or two after Jim was off
his Rx pain meds and could drive after knee replacement. The women at the River
invited me to their retreat and the praying they did before, and the supportive
community that deveopled after that (thanks Lyn Woodruff for including me!) November: Inviting Stefan Dyer to come
from Mississippi to have Thanksgiving week with us. Being able to encourage him
after having had to drop out of school, and his good friend dying in a car
accident, and being too thin to enlist in the military, and being homeless.
July: I had a chance to go to
Chiang Mai Thailand for an Arts in Mission conference, and an extra week in
Singapore beign a gyspy and visiting many people I loved and sharing some about
the book I’ve been writing. Was able to change my flight from Thailand to get
an extra day in Singapore (not without great effort! “No way, but not
ABSOLUTELY no way.”). Prayerfully asking God about our return to Asia and the
potential of living in Chiang Mai, and everytime I thought about it, it was
distasteful to me…even to think about it. I just kept thinking, “I’m DONE with
living in Asia.”
A real gift
from God was… being invited to share feedback on the February
Missions Conference at our church, and that led to working on the Conference
for 2016. Getting to know the others on the team, and seeing if I can help
build stronger bridges with our sent missionaries has been a real answer to
prayer.
Something I
really enjoyed doing more of was… taking long walks with
the dog exploring local beaches and parks. Playing the guitar, even taking
lessons. Calligraphy and embroidery.
I was really
brave when… I volunteered to help out at Drama [CHAOS] Camp at church. Way too many kids/teachers ratio! I
stayed behind while Jim went to Vietnam and Thailand, I was going to help Jim’s
mom “sign the papers” for a retirement community. That didn’t happen.
My thoughts/prayers often turned to... Gratitude.
Being mystified that we have it so easy compared to others who suffer. Syrian
Refugees and their need for home, their openness to the Gospel, and the relief
workers who share with them. My longing to DO something. My mother-in-law…as
her husband was dying and then later as she had to grapple with life as a widow
again (and Jim as he tried to support her in it). How do we love and support
her and show her honor when I don’t like how she’s acting and what she’s
saying? A new friend, from a Bible Study, as she wrestled with how to parent
her teenaged adopted daughter. She had started disappearing – running off, and
getting involved in dangerous activity.
I’m still
trying to learn what God wants to teach me through this hard
experience...But I think perhaps, it’s: My strong emotions NOT coming the day before at the
Army commissioning (which would have been appropriate), but after. After living
overseas and never being able to be the host events when my family is together, I was SO excited to have that opportunity this year. There were two chances in a row: Cameron’s grad in May, and then Tyler’s
in June. In both cases, my family would change the plans I had made. I had an emotional "melt down" at the end of the day at Tyler's graduation. The following week I snapped at my dad, and realized
that I have a lot of resentment I need to work out with the Lord and figure out how to roll with or confront my family in the future.
One of the
happiest memories I’d like to freeze in my mind was looking across the lawn at
Cameron after his High School graduation. It has been a long road of love, hopefulness, cheerleading, anxiety and
frustration, coaxing, near despair, heaps of money, and tough love that led to this
day. Cameron had only attended The King’s Academy for his Senior year and yet,
it seemed he was dear to everyone in this community. He cared about others and
they cared about him. He even had one friend from his previous Military school
who drove 15 hours to come surprise him that day. As I watched him make his
rounds of hugs in his cap and gown, I sensed the Lord say, “He’s going to be
okay, this kid. No matter what, he’ll always be surrounded by friends because
he is a good person.”
Other happy
moments: December: Suprising Cameron
on his flight back from Liberty U at Christmas. Would he make the connecting
flight in Atlanta where his grandparents and I were waiting on to surprise
him?? Then, the very next day, Tyler surprised us by coming 4 days early for
his visit turning 3 ½ days with us to a full week! Jim had said, “I’m running
some errands that are Christmas surprises.” And came back with Tyler. The
campfire we four had at White Point Nature Reserve, San Pedro. Alone for hours
on a beach in Los Angeles, California. Oh, yes, and spending hours making a crazy
dinoaur banner for Tyler at his graduation.
Something I’m
looking forward to in this New Year… Finishing Put Off/Put
On and publishing it somehow. Whether through am established publisher,
officially or self-published, I want to finish it so I can start on another! I
also want to start putting together ways to communicate the content, in a
talk…in a seminar…with devised theatre…
It's really rewarding to reflect and look over the past years and see what's been accomplished, then look ahead with a sense of expectation.
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