I'm going to miss her.
This is my favourite photo taken with her and
some Yaminahua children in Ecuador, 1988.
3/19/2007
Remembering Shirley Klein
Shirley Klein moved to heaven this past month.
I'm going to miss her.
This is my favourite photo taken with her and
some Yaminahua children in Ecuador, 1988.
I'm going to miss her.
This is my favourite photo taken with her and
some Yaminahua children in Ecuador, 1988.
2/11/2007
WARNING, Jenny Joseph
Have you ever read this famous poem? I came across it today in my files...
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
NOTE from me: I have started a few years back. It's rather freeing to be a little nuts and not care what others think about you. I think purple is one of God's favourite colours.
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
NOTE from me: I have started a few years back. It's rather freeing to be a little nuts and not care what others think about you. I think purple is one of God's favourite colours.
1/22/2007
A Miracle
It's such a joy to raise a child. I filled out the application for him to attend Maranatha High Schoolnext year. Here's what I wrote about him:
Tyler is most excited about the possiblity of playing football next year. Currently he is playing U16 basketball. He has an incredible memory which he has put to use in both classical guitar, theatre and language. (eg. search YouTube under “Singlish Security Lecture”). He is fluent in Chinese and excels in Art. He has an authentic relationship with the Lord. When choosing research topics, he always writes about the US Military and it’s history. He was a Class Monitor and Prefect in Elementary School (faculty appointed school leadership positions) and is on the Honor Roll at ICS. Tyler is an INTJ on the Meyers-Briggs and a high D on the DISC. He doesn’t understand what peer pressure is! Until 2005 he was the only caucasion in his schools of 1000 and he has seen being an outsider as an asset rather than liability. I expect that as a TCK, his year at Maranatha will be where he has to grapple with the feelings of being an outsider more than ever. In his last 1 ½ years at ICS, he has really grown in his character formation and maturity. He is adding kindness and sensitivity to his strong confidence and independence.
Tyler is most excited about the possiblity of playing football next year. Currently he is playing U16 basketball. He has an incredible memory which he has put to use in both classical guitar, theatre and language. (eg. search YouTube under “Singlish Security Lecture”). He is fluent in Chinese and excels in Art. He has an authentic relationship with the Lord. When choosing research topics, he always writes about the US Military and it’s history. He was a Class Monitor and Prefect in Elementary School (faculty appointed school leadership positions) and is on the Honor Roll at ICS. Tyler is an INTJ on the Meyers-Briggs and a high D on the DISC. He doesn’t understand what peer pressure is! Until 2005 he was the only caucasion in his schools of 1000 and he has seen being an outsider as an asset rather than liability. I expect that as a TCK, his year at Maranatha will be where he has to grapple with the feelings of being an outsider more than ever. In his last 1 ½ years at ICS, he has really grown in his character formation and maturity. He is adding kindness and sensitivity to his strong confidence and independence.
1/02/2007
Time for Reflection
This year I learned to..
In walking with God, I grew most in…
Another way I saw myself growing was…
One of my best adventures was…
I saw/knew God was doing something when…
A real gift from God was…
Something I really enjoyed doing more of was…
One of the happiest memories I’d like to freeze in my mind…
I was really brave when…
Something God took from me this year was…
I’m still trying to learn what God wants to teach me through this hard experience…
The best word of advice or encouragement I can remember is…
Something I’m looking forward to in this new year…
In walking with God, I grew most in…
Another way I saw myself growing was…
One of my best adventures was…
I saw/knew God was doing something when…
A real gift from God was…
Something I really enjoyed doing more of was…
One of the happiest memories I’d like to freeze in my mind…
I was really brave when…
Something God took from me this year was…
I’m still trying to learn what God wants to teach me through this hard experience…
The best word of advice or encouragement I can remember is…
Something I’m looking forward to in this new year…
12/31/2006
Welcoming the New Year
What do we do on New Years?
We watched an old movie that covers the year in a life of a family living in St. Louis USA in 1905: MEET ME IN ST LOUIS. We stopped it at midnight to join Singapore in shouting and sparklers and watching the fireworks from the river. We have a great view from the balcony of the apartment where we live now (23rd floor, near Mt. Faber, with a view toward town)
For the holiday, we're all reading the same 2 chapters of Proverbs a day.
We agreed to do it first thing before we got on to other things we're itching to do.
Things like playing on an Xbox360. The boys received one as a gift from grandma and our houseguests, Sally & Franklin, a young Singaporean couple who live in Shanghai. They come stay with us when they're back in Singapore.
I crack open a new journal and get writing what I'm thankful for or what I've learned in the past year. I get really reflective this time of year. I've sent a few sms' to my dear friend Liu Yi Yan in Kunming, China...and I'm missing good friends and family in USA. Do you know this is our 10th year living in Asia? That's why we're going to spend a year in USA starting June. The boys don't know what it is like to be American.
2006 was a slower year for me because of some back/neck problems. I had more time and opportunity to really feel DEPENDENT upon God, rather than just believing in and worshipping him by the way I live. In the way he cared for me in my mind and heart this year -- my soul -- I feel truly loved by him now; not just because "he died on the cross for me." I read a GREAT book this past year. Helps put modern understanding to our Ancient Faith. I've been recommending it to everyone: VELVET ELVIS, Repainting the Christian Faith, by Rob Bell. There's a link in the sidebar to Amazon. Order it! He has also done these short videos called NOOMA (you can watch some of them online). I've only seen a couple, but really liked LUMP and FLAME...
It's going to be a good year.
12/27/2006
"Playhouse Nativity" The Shepherds @ Grace Assembly in Singapore
"Playhouse Nativity" The Shepherds
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.
Sunday the 24th. When I brought in 6 bags with 14 costumes for a spontaneous Pageant complete with Christmas Carols and Kings, these kids told me they'd never played 'dress up.' Well we had a good time and the kids were thrilled with their re-enactment of the story!
12/20/2006
A Full Christmas Week of Friends
This is my 12th day pain free! The pain caused by my neck injury stopped the day after sending our last email (with a mention of it for prayer!) 2 nights ago I spent some time in prayer when I couldn't sleep - I woke up and the blues were gone and I had tons of energy.
This is an amazing end of the year compared to our lonely holiday years here. Our 6th holiday season here and usually we've practically nothing to do. It's always the time we miss California the most. December in the States was always full of parties and concerts, outreach and baking, family and friends. A few weeks ago, when one new friend Kay, invited us for a small gathering at their house on Christmas Eve. They are new here -and we talked a few weeks ago about how hard it is to settle here compared to the other "harder" fields they've lived.
How well we can relate! Jim was inspired, "How bout US throwing some parties this year?" So, thanks to evite, we are having a party for about 30 tonight - CRM Singapore colleagues and their families. Some are potential staff! We've been praying that there might be some Singaporeans who'd want to join Jim in ministry by next June - and there are already 3 guys who are ready to start the process of joining CRM and doing mentoring part or full time in January!
Friday evening is going to be a party for artists. I'm touched that they felt comfortable enough asking if they can host a party in our house. These younger single women are even coming here all day to cook a dinner for about 15. We expect more to come by after dinner for the fellowship and sharing. During the day a new friend Stephanie (a music teacher and her kids) are coming by to visit. Sweet. She had us over last weekend for dinner to get to know her family. I've loved the younger friends God has given me here, but there is something mutually beneficial for me to have some peers to learn from about walking through life. I was telling Su Ping (one of the 5 stars) about these new friends and she said, "It's about time."
Saturday Sally & Franklin, a Singaporean couple living in Shanghai, arrive and have asked to stay with us over their family for the holiday, and in the evening a pack of missionary families are coming over for a party.
For lunch another young Singaporean couple who are living in Beijing are coming for lunch. They are SO SWEET.
Sunday I get to do a special Christmas story-telling and teach Christmas Carols with about 35 kindergarteners - including dress up Bible costumes for them. I have felt awkward with the other teachers for the past 2 years of my helping once a month, but this time around, I feel accepted, and part of the team.
If this isn't enough of a shower of friendship blessings, the senior pastor's wife called this week to ask us to be their guests Christmas Night at a dinner put on by some church members. I'm amazed. How did they choose us? We'll come back from dinner with the kids and watch IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE...'cause it is when you have friends.
This is an amazing end of the year compared to our lonely holiday years here. Our 6th holiday season here and usually we've practically nothing to do. It's always the time we miss California the most. December in the States was always full of parties and concerts, outreach and baking, family and friends. A few weeks ago, when one new friend Kay, invited us for a small gathering at their house on Christmas Eve. They are new here -and we talked a few weeks ago about how hard it is to settle here compared to the other "harder" fields they've lived.
How well we can relate! Jim was inspired, "How bout US throwing some parties this year?" So, thanks to evite, we are having a party for about 30 tonight - CRM Singapore colleagues and their families. Some are potential staff! We've been praying that there might be some Singaporeans who'd want to join Jim in ministry by next June - and there are already 3 guys who are ready to start the process of joining CRM and doing mentoring part or full time in January!
Friday evening is going to be a party for artists. I'm touched that they felt comfortable enough asking if they can host a party in our house. These younger single women are even coming here all day to cook a dinner for about 15. We expect more to come by after dinner for the fellowship and sharing. During the day a new friend Stephanie (a music teacher and her kids) are coming by to visit. Sweet. She had us over last weekend for dinner to get to know her family. I've loved the younger friends God has given me here, but there is something mutually beneficial for me to have some peers to learn from about walking through life. I was telling Su Ping (one of the 5 stars) about these new friends and she said, "It's about time."
Saturday Sally & Franklin, a Singaporean couple living in Shanghai, arrive and have asked to stay with us over their family for the holiday, and in the evening a pack of missionary families are coming over for a party.
For lunch another young Singaporean couple who are living in Beijing are coming for lunch. They are SO SWEET.
Sunday I get to do a special Christmas story-telling and teach Christmas Carols with about 35 kindergarteners - including dress up Bible costumes for them. I have felt awkward with the other teachers for the past 2 years of my helping once a month, but this time around, I feel accepted, and part of the team.
If this isn't enough of a shower of friendship blessings, the senior pastor's wife called this week to ask us to be their guests Christmas Night at a dinner put on by some church members. I'm amazed. How did they choose us? We'll come back from dinner with the kids and watch IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE...'cause it is when you have friends.
12/07/2006
Sunday Night's
Eating Out One Sunday Evening
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.
The second half of this year we have a new family activity: our Sunday afternoon or evening meal finds us exploring the many "hawker centres" around the island. I'm sure between us all, over the years, we've dined at more than 100! Singaporeans love food - and there must be thousands of these tiled over fast food centers with stainless steel stalls selling local dishes on melmac plates. It's been kind of our "Creasman Sunday adventure" but it's actually more because we're broke and these local places are a great bargain! It is kind of fun. And I'm sure we're making memories. No one has gotten food poisoning or hepatitis. But I'm getting a little weary of having stray cats watch me while I eat.
11/22/2006
Memorizing more than Bible verses
Last week I decided to audition for a Shakespeare play. I noticed the announcement:
MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM.
Botanic Gardens.
Director: Barry Kyle, former director for the Royal Shakespeare Company.
Though it made NO PRACTICAL sense to audition. It's an Asian produciton and I'm white. I've got a full plate already for next April and May, and I'm in almost daily physical pain.
Strangely I kept coming back to the emailed announcement.
It was like a personal challenge.
Maybe something like when people have this dream of "running a marathon" or "hiking Mt. Everest."
I had this urge to just give it a try.
I don't want to live a life with regrets, so I started memorizing, praying, "Anytime you want to let me know I am being foolish, or shouldn't do this...you can let me know!"
I didn't want to choose just any old good monologue.
Knowing the benefits of memorizing the Bible for wisdom and a sage outlook on life's circumstances, I started thinking about what portion of the Bard's work might "renew my mind."
So I chose 1 minute of the final words in TAMING OF THE SHREW (V.ii). Jim has always called himself my Petruchio; which is more wishful thinking than anything really. Perhaps now that I've memorized these lines, I'll actually be converted:
When a woman is froward, peevish, sullen, sour
and not obedient to her husband's honest will,
what is she but a foul contending rebel
and graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am ashamed that women are so simple
to offer war when they should kneel for peace,
or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,
when they are bound to serve, love and obey.
Why are our bodies soft, and weak, and smooth,
unapt to toil and trouble in this world
but that our soft conditions and our hearts
should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come you froward and unable worms!
my mind hath been as big as one of yours,
my heart as great, my reason haply more,
to bandy word for word and frown for frown.
But now I see our lances are but straws,
our strength is weak and weakness past compare,
that seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
and place your hand below your husband's foot
in token of which duty, if he please,
my hand is ready, may it do him ease.
When I told the director that my husband would be very happy that I had committed this to memory. He said, "Oh, you tell your husband that he's a pig." I answered, "Oh, no. He's really not!"
I had a good (and scary time) following through with the audition. Those who held the audition were warm (except for the ice woman who checked us in), and the director gave some time to encouraging me after my two pieces. While I was waiting for another friend to show up for her audition time I chatted with some actors in the green room. Just doing it was a confidence builder.
MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM.
Botanic Gardens.
Director: Barry Kyle, former director for the Royal Shakespeare Company.
Though it made NO PRACTICAL sense to audition. It's an Asian produciton and I'm white. I've got a full plate already for next April and May, and I'm in almost daily physical pain.
Strangely I kept coming back to the emailed announcement.
It was like a personal challenge.
Maybe something like when people have this dream of "running a marathon" or "hiking Mt. Everest."
I had this urge to just give it a try.
I don't want to live a life with regrets, so I started memorizing, praying, "Anytime you want to let me know I am being foolish, or shouldn't do this...you can let me know!"
I didn't want to choose just any old good monologue.
Knowing the benefits of memorizing the Bible for wisdom and a sage outlook on life's circumstances, I started thinking about what portion of the Bard's work might "renew my mind."
So I chose 1 minute of the final words in TAMING OF THE SHREW (V.ii). Jim has always called himself my Petruchio; which is more wishful thinking than anything really. Perhaps now that I've memorized these lines, I'll actually be converted:
When a woman is froward, peevish, sullen, sour
and not obedient to her husband's honest will,
what is she but a foul contending rebel
and graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am ashamed that women are so simple
to offer war when they should kneel for peace,
or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,
when they are bound to serve, love and obey.
Why are our bodies soft, and weak, and smooth,
unapt to toil and trouble in this world
but that our soft conditions and our hearts
should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come you froward and unable worms!
my mind hath been as big as one of yours,
my heart as great, my reason haply more,
to bandy word for word and frown for frown.
But now I see our lances are but straws,
our strength is weak and weakness past compare,
that seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
and place your hand below your husband's foot
in token of which duty, if he please,
my hand is ready, may it do him ease.
When I told the director that my husband would be very happy that I had committed this to memory. He said, "Oh, you tell your husband that he's a pig." I answered, "Oh, no. He's really not!"
I had a good (and scary time) following through with the audition. Those who held the audition were warm (except for the ice woman who checked us in), and the director gave some time to encouraging me after my two pieces. While I was waiting for another friend to show up for her audition time I chatted with some actors in the green room. Just doing it was a confidence builder.
11/18/2006
Your Enemy the Devil Prowls About Like A Roaring Lion...
1 Peter 5:8,9 is such a crucial verse to know.
But even knowing it by heart (for more than 20 years) doesn't ALWAYS
guarantee victory in every spiritual battle.
Among a few highlights in a week "taking it easy" 'cause of my neck
pain, my Bible study pondered & discussed the Daniel in the lion's
den story. "WE LIVE IN THE LION'S DEN! Is your sword
sharp?" (Ephesians calls the word of God "the sword of the Spirit")
Then, yesterday I finished doing "steps to freedom in Christ" with a
new believer here.
It took us three sessions to get through it. "Old Scratch" is NOT
happy about my perseverance.
My husband has had a number of events (thailand and here).
The CRM president was visiting recently. CRM Singapore is gaining
momentum.
Jim's preaching again tomorrow.
All this good fruitful work doing ministry helping people have a
focused life and living with purpose...
In the midst of this, today I've felt so discouraged about my worth/
effectiveness and had such feelings of despondency!
Wow. Sometimes the Enemy is so OBVIOUS in his attacks and I still let
him sink his teeth in before wising up!
11/11/2006
Permission to be "unproductive" in your Creativity
Had a few visitors from CRM* this week. Two stayed here and three in a nearby hotel. It's always nice to hear more of what's going on in other places with our organization. Enriching to get to know better others who like us, live by faith, are supported by others who believe in us and what we're doing. Nice to meet others who share the values & ethos of CRM. *Church Resource Ministries
I had a chance to chat with Alex & Kat about my undying passion for theatre. Why do i have this bulldog determination to figure out how to practice it as part of worship, in building up followers of Jesus, and in sharing what we've found to be ultimate reality: An all powerful creator and sustainer God who though holy, loves each of us intimately and wants realationship with us! (Okay, maybe I wasn't chatting, I was more like pouring my heart out!)
Kat. sweet quiet Kat. I found her later browsing an art book in the living room. My talking about theatre and what I'm doing or dreaming about stirs up some important part of her GOD'S IMAGE-BEARING SOUL that has not been allowed to flourish. Only recently has she been allowing herself to let her creative spirit out: she's loved making hand made greeting cards. Loves collage. She enjoys the process of creating things. Enjoys. Gets joy in being creative.
But the censors in her life, and memory, and mind shout loudly:
I immediately get defensive and mad. What's the point??!!??? What's the point of doing something you enjoy?!??? What's the point of celebrating creativity and beauty??
So, for Kat and anyone who may read this who needs some reminders that GOD loves to be impractical in his creativity, I'm going to make a list:
It's really okay for us to immitate him. Really. It is. Go enjoy making something today that is beautiful but won't last. Enjoy making that meal and consuming it. It's not just FUEL to keep your body running so that you can run back out there and do more practical purposeful things!
Go ahead. Make something.
And don't feel like you have to make excuses for yourself doing it.
God doesn't. Why should you?
I had a chance to chat with Alex & Kat about my undying passion for theatre. Why do i have this bulldog determination to figure out how to practice it as part of worship, in building up followers of Jesus, and in sharing what we've found to be ultimate reality: An all powerful creator and sustainer God who though holy, loves each of us intimately and wants realationship with us! (Okay, maybe I wasn't chatting, I was more like pouring my heart out!)
Kat. sweet quiet Kat. I found her later browsing an art book in the living room. My talking about theatre and what I'm doing or dreaming about stirs up some important part of her GOD'S IMAGE-BEARING SOUL that has not been allowed to flourish. Only recently has she been allowing herself to let her creative spirit out: she's loved making hand made greeting cards. Loves collage. She enjoys the process of creating things. Enjoys. Gets joy in being creative.
But the censors in her life, and memory, and mind shout loudly:
IT'S NOT PRACTICAL! WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF IT?
How unproductive. Spending all this time to make something that no one sees, or maybe one person sees. What's the point of wasting your time on that?
I immediately get defensive and mad. What's the point??!!??? What's the point of doing something you enjoy?!??? What's the point of celebrating creativity and beauty??
So, for Kat and anyone who may read this who needs some reminders that GOD loves to be impractical in his creativity, I'm going to make a list:
- Why is every snowflake, or fingerprint, or strand of dna different? Seems like a lot of trouble to make them all unique! What's the point God? You do it just for fun??!!??
- Who cares about wildflowers of exquisite beauty that blossom in forests or desserts or fields that no one sees? Some are even scented. What's the point?
- Millions of insect species? What's the point?
- Glowing neon fish and unusual mysterious animals in the dark depths of the sea? Where's the purpose in that?
- Why do our hearts soar at seeing some photograph or video of a scene of unspoiled nature? Why is it especially powerful if it happens in real life? Why is natural beauty - creation - beautiful to us? Could it be that it's because we're getting a priviledged view of God's "private collection"? What's the point of having all this nature if no one sees it, or skiis it, or builds a resort near it?
- Why do we have such a natural appreciation for unspoiled nature?
It's really okay for us to immitate him. Really. It is. Go enjoy making something today that is beautiful but won't last. Enjoy making that meal and consuming it. It's not just FUEL to keep your body running so that you can run back out there and do more practical purposeful things!
Go ahead. Make something.
And don't feel like you have to make excuses for yourself doing it.
God doesn't. Why should you?
10/29/2006
My Date with Cameron
Clear View from the Cable Cars
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.
It's family blogging night. So I'm doing a bit of blogging too. For awhile now, on Sunday's we've really enjoyed observing a Sabbath. Reading and reflecting. Realizing that even if work isn't done, the earth will keep spinning and we're not as important as we'd like to be. Usually before a dinner of whatever is leftover in the fridge, we have the kids blog about their week. Then we turn the air conditioner in my room and we read to one another. Jim is gone tonight so we won't get the favourite part of this tradition. He reads to us from James Herriott's DOG STORIES.
Jim is gone this week to Chiang Mai, Thailand to help our colleagues Keith & Lori Webb in a week long Coaching Training. It's a first time through this and Keith has been working really hard at putting coaching (his passion) into a format for training ministry people. He's pretty happy that's it's finally happening.
I'm holding down the fort here in Singapore. The Webb children live downstairs, but they've got a very capable helper, so for me it just means a few extra trips driving to school (no carpool partner!) and helping out in case of an emergency.
These days I have a full time referee job between my two boys. I told them, upon their first altercation (over a nerf gun war) that I'd decided that we are going to practice pacifism for awhile this week. No toy guns, no gaming that includes weapons, no warfare of anykind. I'm so cruel (but I'll be they start getting along better!)
10/23/2006
Playtime @ the Creasmans
LOTR Battles in Singapore
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.
Includes costumes, weapons, and cameras. Tyler had been planning a Lord of the Rings adventure. They did mock battles and played capture the flag in character. Hilarious fun.
10/19/2006
What's the POINT?
Driving down the road last Tuesday praying for the 4 year old son of a new friend here who'd had open heart surgery that morning. I had peace. Assurance. The kid was going to make it. I told my firend Lori,
"If that kid dies, then my faith in being able to trust that I can "hear from God" dies with him."
The little boy was in Sunday School 5 days later! 5 days later!!!
But here I am middle of the next week.
I'm off to teach the kids drama club in an hour. Trying to pull myself together.
I started crying last night while i was praying with Cameron for another little child at bedtime. I haven't been able to stop crying for very long. Unless I'm taking a nap. All day today.
I'm a wreck.
It's not even the right time of the month to be this hopeless.
And I've been taking Evening Primrose twice a day.
My newlywed friends' premature baby died this morning.
Born at 5 months. She survived about a week. Born this early she had only a 50% chance of surviving, and then for what kind of a life? A life of special needs,
I kept begging God to be merciful. Trusting he knows best, but whatever he was going to do, if that tiny little girl was going to die, would he just be merciful and end her suffering? He did.
We're still hurting. And will be for quite awhile.
Jim and I will be the only non-family at the cremation in 4 hours.
We were also the only non-family to witness the couple's sacred marriage vows only 5 weeks ago.
I'm reading a great book called VELVET ELVIS by a young pastor named Rob Bell.
Where I am in the middle of this book is good for me today.
Chapter six "NEW" is Helping answer my questions of
"WHAT'S THE POINT? If heaven is where he makes all things new and we live the way it's supposed to be why don't we all just drink the spiked kool-aid today?"
My mantra of late has been "Hang on till heaven." No one's been able to really give me an answer. Oh, that's just Kimberly being dramatic.
Here's a good section from the book about being REMADE:
"I am not who I was.
I am a new creation.
I am "in Christ".
When God looks at me, God sees Christ, because I'm "in" him.
God's view of me is Christ.
And Christ is perfect.
This is why Paul goes on to say, "therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved..."
Did you catch that word in the middle?
Holy.
Not "going to be holy someday". Not "wouldn't it be nice if you were holy, but instead you're a mess". But "holy".
Holy means pure, without blemish, unstained.
In these passages we're being told who we are, now.
The issue then isn't my beating myself up over all the things I am not doing or the things I keep doing poorly; the issue is my learning who this person is who God keeps insisting I already am.
There is this person who we already are in God's eyes. And we are learning to live like it is true.
This is an issue of identity. It is letting what God says about us shape what we believe about ourselves. This is why shame has no place whatsoever in the Christian experience. It is simply against all that Jesus is for. As the writer to the Romans put it, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
None.
No shame.
No list of what is being held against us.
No record of wrongs.
Bringing it up is pointless.
Beating myself up is pointless.
Beating others up about who and what they are not is going the wrong direction. It is working against the purposes of God. God is not interested in shaming people; God wants people to see who they really are.
--------
okay i got carried away on that point. It's good!
But the best POINTS to speak to my WHAT's THE POINT question is the next section:
--------
We can bring heaven to earth; we can bring hell to earth.
For Jesus, heaven and hell were present realities. Ways of living we can enter into here and now. He talked very little of the life beyond this one because he understood that the life beyond this one is a continuation of the kinds of choices we make here and now.
For Jesus, the question wasn't, how do I get into heaven" but how do I bring heaven here?
The question wasn't, how do I get in there? But how do I get there, here?
Whedn people use the word hell, what do they mean? they mean a place, an event, a situation absent of how God desires things to be. Famine, debt, oppression, loneliness, despair, death, slaughter --they are all hell on earth.
Jesus' desire for his followers is that they live in such a way that they bring heaven to earth.
True spirituality then is not about escaping this world to some other place where we will be forever. A Christian is not someone who expects to spend forever in heaven there. A Christian is someone who anticipates spending forever here, in a new heaven that comes to earth.
The goal isn't escaping this world but making this word the kind of place God can come to. And God is remaking us into the kind of people who can do this kind of work.
---------------------------
ah. gotta go see if I can bring a little heaven on earth to a bunch of cute healthy drama kids who did a great job last friday at International Night.
"If that kid dies, then my faith in being able to trust that I can "hear from God" dies with him."
The little boy was in Sunday School 5 days later! 5 days later!!!
But here I am middle of the next week.
I'm off to teach the kids drama club in an hour. Trying to pull myself together.
I started crying last night while i was praying with Cameron for another little child at bedtime. I haven't been able to stop crying for very long. Unless I'm taking a nap. All day today.
I'm a wreck.
It's not even the right time of the month to be this hopeless.
And I've been taking Evening Primrose twice a day.
My newlywed friends' premature baby died this morning.
Born at 5 months. She survived about a week. Born this early she had only a 50% chance of surviving, and then for what kind of a life? A life of special needs,
I kept begging God to be merciful. Trusting he knows best, but whatever he was going to do, if that tiny little girl was going to die, would he just be merciful and end her suffering? He did.
We're still hurting. And will be for quite awhile.
Jim and I will be the only non-family at the cremation in 4 hours.
We were also the only non-family to witness the couple's sacred marriage vows only 5 weeks ago.
I'm reading a great book called VELVET ELVIS by a young pastor named Rob Bell.
Where I am in the middle of this book is good for me today.
Chapter six "NEW" is Helping answer my questions of
"WHAT'S THE POINT? If heaven is where he makes all things new and we live the way it's supposed to be why don't we all just drink the spiked kool-aid today?"
My mantra of late has been "Hang on till heaven." No one's been able to really give me an answer. Oh, that's just Kimberly being dramatic.
Here's a good section from the book about being REMADE:
"I am not who I was.
I am a new creation.
I am "in Christ".
When God looks at me, God sees Christ, because I'm "in" him.
God's view of me is Christ.
And Christ is perfect.
This is why Paul goes on to say, "therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved..."
Did you catch that word in the middle?
Holy.
Not "going to be holy someday". Not "wouldn't it be nice if you were holy, but instead you're a mess". But "holy".
Holy means pure, without blemish, unstained.
In these passages we're being told who we are, now.
The issue then isn't my beating myself up over all the things I am not doing or the things I keep doing poorly; the issue is my learning who this person is who God keeps insisting I already am.
There is this person who we already are in God's eyes. And we are learning to live like it is true.
This is an issue of identity. It is letting what God says about us shape what we believe about ourselves. This is why shame has no place whatsoever in the Christian experience. It is simply against all that Jesus is for. As the writer to the Romans put it, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
None.
No shame.
No list of what is being held against us.
No record of wrongs.
Bringing it up is pointless.
Beating myself up is pointless.
Beating others up about who and what they are not is going the wrong direction. It is working against the purposes of God. God is not interested in shaming people; God wants people to see who they really are.
--------
okay i got carried away on that point. It's good!
But the best POINTS to speak to my WHAT's THE POINT question is the next section:
--------
We can bring heaven to earth; we can bring hell to earth.
For Jesus, heaven and hell were present realities. Ways of living we can enter into here and now. He talked very little of the life beyond this one because he understood that the life beyond this one is a continuation of the kinds of choices we make here and now.
For Jesus, the question wasn't, how do I get into heaven" but how do I bring heaven here?
The question wasn't, how do I get in there? But how do I get there, here?
Whedn people use the word hell, what do they mean? they mean a place, an event, a situation absent of how God desires things to be. Famine, debt, oppression, loneliness, despair, death, slaughter --they are all hell on earth.
Jesus' desire for his followers is that they live in such a way that they bring heaven to earth.
True spirituality then is not about escaping this world to some other place where we will be forever. A Christian is not someone who expects to spend forever in heaven there. A Christian is someone who anticipates spending forever here, in a new heaven that comes to earth.
The goal isn't escaping this world but making this word the kind of place God can come to. And God is remaking us into the kind of people who can do this kind of work.
---------------------------
ah. gotta go see if I can bring a little heaven on earth to a bunch of cute healthy drama kids who did a great job last friday at International Night.
10/14/2006
Someone in Need Needs...
Here's a good list from some CRM staff in South Africa who had a crisis recently. Here's their list of what they learned by being on the receiving end of people's care when they were needy.
1. Small acts of kindness make a big difference – A hug, a cup of tea, an offer to help, a listening ear, a phone call, a meal provided, a few simple words of care and concern or a shoulder to cry on, can speak volumes to those who are hurting.
2. Power in your presence – Whether it’s coming over just to be with us, or stopping by to see how things are going, there is tremendous power in the presence of those who truly care.
3. Words of understanding – It’s amazing what a little understanding will do for the human heart. We received much comfort from the three simple words “I’m so sorry.” Identification with the pain of others is like a healing balm for the heart.
10/10/2006
10/05/2006
WHAT WE DO AND WHY Letter to a Kindergarten Sunday School Class
There are lots of Christians in America and lots of very good leaders. We liked living in America, but other countries in the world don't have as many Christians. About the time your mom and dad were little kids, God did something amazing here. Thousands and Thousands of people became Christians in Singapore. Their mommies and daddies were not Christians. They were Buddhist mostly. Now there are so many Christians but they don't have many older Christians to help them. We went to Singapore to be helpers of the younger Christians and their churches. If we help them do a better job leading and telling about Jesus, God’s son (and his love for us), more people will find out the Truth, and want to live following God!
Singapore is one of the smallest countries on the other side of the world and is only 42 years old. People say America is a young country and it is over 200 years old! So Singapore is like a kindergarten country compared to many other older countries around the world.
The new Christians in Singapore and their pastors are excited and want to please God. They all want to share with the world about Jesus. But like younger kids, they need someone to help them learn. Singaporeans work very, very hard and the leaders like to be bossy and tell everyone what to do. Pastor Creasman helps them learn how to stay close to Jesus, be an encouraging leader, listen to God, and not work so hard so they can have time for their families.
Pastor Creasman's job is to be a teacher and encouraging friend to pastors and missionaries. He's like a "pastor to pastors." Most of his friends are Singaporean and their jobs are working in churches or starting churches, but some of them are from other countries and are running big companies.
Singaporeans are mostly Chinese and speak Chinese. There are more Chinese Christians here than in any other country outside China! Now, China is the largest country in the world. We believe that someday soon China will be like Singapore: God has been at work in that country and a lot of the people there are becoming Christians. Mr. Creasman prays that God blesses the work he's doing now with leaders in Singapore; then the Chinese speaking Singaporean Christians will be big helpers in China!
Mrs. Creasman also loves serving God as her job in Singapore. She is a lot like your mom. She drives her kids to school. Tyier is 13 and Cameron is 9. She helps the kids with homework & chores. She also does work besides her mom job too. She teaches drama at the boys’ school. She also teaches drama to grown up Christians in a Bible School. God helps Mrs. Creasman make friends with lots of actors. She helps them learn that Jesus can be their Saviour and friend, or that they can grow closer to the Creator and know God more. Some of these actors she meets with every week to pray or learn together. Some of these friends she will come along side when they are having problems and are feeling sad.
The Creasmans have a lot of guests in their home! A lot of praying, and encouraging, and studying, and laughing goes on in their home with all kinds of VERY different and interesting people! They wish you could come to Singapore and be a guest too!
Singapore is one of the smallest countries on the other side of the world and is only 42 years old. People say America is a young country and it is over 200 years old! So Singapore is like a kindergarten country compared to many other older countries around the world.
The new Christians in Singapore and their pastors are excited and want to please God. They all want to share with the world about Jesus. But like younger kids, they need someone to help them learn. Singaporeans work very, very hard and the leaders like to be bossy and tell everyone what to do. Pastor Creasman helps them learn how to stay close to Jesus, be an encouraging leader, listen to God, and not work so hard so they can have time for their families.
Pastor Creasman's job is to be a teacher and encouraging friend to pastors and missionaries. He's like a "pastor to pastors." Most of his friends are Singaporean and their jobs are working in churches or starting churches, but some of them are from other countries and are running big companies.
Singaporeans are mostly Chinese and speak Chinese. There are more Chinese Christians here than in any other country outside China! Now, China is the largest country in the world. We believe that someday soon China will be like Singapore: God has been at work in that country and a lot of the people there are becoming Christians. Mr. Creasman prays that God blesses the work he's doing now with leaders in Singapore; then the Chinese speaking Singaporean Christians will be big helpers in China!
Mrs. Creasman also loves serving God as her job in Singapore. She is a lot like your mom. She drives her kids to school. Tyier is 13 and Cameron is 9. She helps the kids with homework & chores. She also does work besides her mom job too. She teaches drama at the boys’ school. She also teaches drama to grown up Christians in a Bible School. God helps Mrs. Creasman make friends with lots of actors. She helps them learn that Jesus can be their Saviour and friend, or that they can grow closer to the Creator and know God more. Some of these actors she meets with every week to pray or learn together. Some of these friends she will come along side when they are having problems and are feeling sad.
The Creasmans have a lot of guests in their home! A lot of praying, and encouraging, and studying, and laughing goes on in their home with all kinds of VERY different and interesting people! They wish you could come to Singapore and be a guest too!
9/13/2006
Gotta Laugh at Ourselves Here
Have you heard of the mrbrown show ?
Mr Brown is the latest National Hero for Singaporeans. TRULY! He blogs and podcasts on Singaporean quirkiness/culture. i'm like an evangelist for Mr Brown! Tyler is really into repeating Mr Brown sketches for his friends (and teachers). I've told him
that we should work up a comedy act for Int'l Night...Ha. Come in as a police officer from the precinct where the new school is... giving us all a "welcome to the community," but with gentle reminders of how to behave at the bus stop, hawker centre, Ginza Plaza so that we don't upset the locals in our new neighborhood.
Mr Brown is the latest National Hero for Singaporeans. TRULY! He blogs and podcasts on Singaporean quirkiness/culture. i'm like an evangelist for Mr Brown! Tyler is really into repeating Mr Brown sketches for his friends (and teachers). I've told him
that we should work up a comedy act for Int'l Night...Ha. Come in as a police officer from the precinct where the new school is... giving us all a "welcome to the community," but with gentle reminders of how to behave at the bus stop, hawker centre, Ginza Plaza so that we don't upset the locals in our new neighborhood.
8/28/2006
Back and Settled
Back for nearly 3 weeks now. Time enough to get the kids happily settled back in school, get out from under the pile of mail and bills and dust that settled while away. Time to start getting back to the gym to work off those USA calories. Ah. I like having some rhythym to life. Some predictability amidst the chaos. I've already received a parking ticket. I've already made a new dent in the car. I've already taken wrong turns and gotten lost. I've already missed an appointment 'cause I had it down on the wrong date. I've already had 2 people cancel appointments because they didn't realize they were double booked. That's the kind of predictability, the kind of rhythym of chaos I'm talking about. School is Monday to Friday, but what days the extracurricular activites are, and that if I volunteer for something, it will take more than twice the amount of time proposed. That kind of predictability and chaos.
Also time enough to get rolling on work. Ah. I like working. I especially love productivity. Teaching both kids and adults this term. One in a Christian school, one in a seminary. The seminary class starts tomorrow night. I love preparing for it and teaching. Today I met with women who want to do a recital together in October. What an honor to be asked. We have a venue, but the date isn't the best for me. We'll see.
The best part about coming back is that there are friends here to come back to. Sweet friends I've missed while away. A lot happens in 8 weeks. It'll take awhile to get caught up.
Also time enough to get rolling on work. Ah. I like working. I especially love productivity. Teaching both kids and adults this term. One in a Christian school, one in a seminary. The seminary class starts tomorrow night. I love preparing for it and teaching. Today I met with women who want to do a recital together in October. What an honor to be asked. We have a venue, but the date isn't the best for me. We'll see.
The best part about coming back is that there are friends here to come back to. Sweet friends I've missed while away. A lot happens in 8 weeks. It'll take awhile to get caught up.
8/04/2006
Home Soon
We go back this Sunday. Yeah. Time has dragged at break neck speed
hopping between family and church worlds feeling loved and lonely at
the same time everywhere. We're eager to be "home" with physical and
spiritual life feeling more centered.
7/12/2006
Vacation Photos on Flickr
Pacific Grove, Monterey Peninsula
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.
Here's one of my favourites. Click on the photo collage to the right to see others.
How can we understand the road we travel? It is the LORD who directs our steps. -Proverbs 20:24
We look at each other from across the table. He has a pained expression across his brow. I am defensive. My mouth is drawn in a firm line, and getting fermer. We haven't said a word, but after all these years of marriage, we know this conversation isn't going to go well. We dread it. Both of us. It's past time for a conversation we need to have. Again.
The conversation?
We've got to knuckle down and seriously plan out our "holiday" in the USA. I mean, afterall, we're already 2 weeks into it and the time left is ticking away. We've arranged a few things. The outline. Neither of us are gifted at administration. We have given up verbally wishing for a "Miranda Girl" (the personal assisstants in The Devil Wears Prada) to come rescue us. We feel hopelessly inept but know we have to start organizing our time.
When we're at home in Singapore, we have our gear for productivity ensconced around us, within arms reach or a click away. We do pretty well at keeping the gears between our personal planners going smoothly. BUT, Back in the USA, we're in a foreign land. Oh, sure, we can email and use the internet if we drive slowly down the street looking for a neighbor without encrypted wireless access. In a week or so we'll figure out where we can order a cup of coffee and do it for free, but for now, we're feeling a little out of synch and unproductive.
Who should we call using this new phone cell chip with a (714) number? Who really would like to see us? Who among our old friends would agree to a lunch as a "courtesy visit?" We feel insecure. If we get together with a financial supporter who 9 years ago was just a friend, what do we talk about? Do they want to know how their "investment" is going, or are they interested in us personally? If I do arrange to meet them, or take up the offer to sing in our home church for the Sunday services, what will we do with the kids? Where did I put those phone numbers? What were the dates for that neighborhood VBS? Did they have a deadline? Did I pay ahead of time for that on their website? While horrible things are going on around the world, or we learn of friends and family here who are suffering tremendous personal loss, I feel guilty for not being stronger in the face of these present inconveniences.
I cry out to the Lord for the world and my friends while Jim and I "suffer" through trying to coordinate our calendars; adding a prayer for us. "Lord, you've made us this way, with certain gifts that don't included organizing time with our supporters. Would you providentially orchestrate our time here? We'll do our best, but we need your help."
And that's what he seems to be doing. Day after disorganized day!
For today, I'd organized a sweet day with Andrea Ketcham and Karen Schmidt visiting Mia Moore. She has a booth for her lovely art at the Laguna Beach Arts Festival and this year I get a chance to see it and meet her colleagues there. On top of that, since I wasn't eager to face the traffic back, I got a ticket for the sold out Pageant of the Masters performance tonight. I'd tried to buy the tickets ahead of time in Singapore, but if I had I would have gone with the family in tow. I wouldn't have had the opportunity to make this such a leisurely afternoon getting to know 3 other women artists connected to CRM. If while still in Singapore I'd have known that I was going down there without the family, and bought just one ticket on-line, I would not have bought it in the cheap seats. God knew i would need to leave at intermission to beat the traffic and because I'd be dog tired. If I'd bought a good ticket months ago, I'd have stuck it out to get my money's worth!
That's just one of today's examples of my living out the Proverb: How can we understand the road we travel. It is the LORD who directs our steps.
I wonder what he has in store for us tomorrow.
(check the flickr link on the side for photos of other ways God's been arranging our plans.)
The conversation?
We've got to knuckle down and seriously plan out our "holiday" in the USA. I mean, afterall, we're already 2 weeks into it and the time left is ticking away. We've arranged a few things. The outline. Neither of us are gifted at administration. We have given up verbally wishing for a "Miranda Girl" (the personal assisstants in The Devil Wears Prada) to come rescue us. We feel hopelessly inept but know we have to start organizing our time.
When we're at home in Singapore, we have our gear for productivity ensconced around us, within arms reach or a click away. We do pretty well at keeping the gears between our personal planners going smoothly. BUT, Back in the USA, we're in a foreign land. Oh, sure, we can email and use the internet if we drive slowly down the street looking for a neighbor without encrypted wireless access. In a week or so we'll figure out where we can order a cup of coffee and do it for free, but for now, we're feeling a little out of synch and unproductive.
Who should we call using this new phone cell chip with a (714) number? Who really would like to see us? Who among our old friends would agree to a lunch as a "courtesy visit?" We feel insecure. If we get together with a financial supporter who 9 years ago was just a friend, what do we talk about? Do they want to know how their "investment" is going, or are they interested in us personally? If I do arrange to meet them, or take up the offer to sing in our home church for the Sunday services, what will we do with the kids? Where did I put those phone numbers? What were the dates for that neighborhood VBS? Did they have a deadline? Did I pay ahead of time for that on their website? While horrible things are going on around the world, or we learn of friends and family here who are suffering tremendous personal loss, I feel guilty for not being stronger in the face of these present inconveniences.
I cry out to the Lord for the world and my friends while Jim and I "suffer" through trying to coordinate our calendars; adding a prayer for us. "Lord, you've made us this way, with certain gifts that don't included organizing time with our supporters. Would you providentially orchestrate our time here? We'll do our best, but we need your help."
And that's what he seems to be doing. Day after disorganized day!
For today, I'd organized a sweet day with Andrea Ketcham and Karen Schmidt visiting Mia Moore. She has a booth for her lovely art at the Laguna Beach Arts Festival and this year I get a chance to see it and meet her colleagues there. On top of that, since I wasn't eager to face the traffic back, I got a ticket for the sold out Pageant of the Masters performance tonight. I'd tried to buy the tickets ahead of time in Singapore, but if I had I would have gone with the family in tow. I wouldn't have had the opportunity to make this such a leisurely afternoon getting to know 3 other women artists connected to CRM. If while still in Singapore I'd have known that I was going down there without the family, and bought just one ticket on-line, I would not have bought it in the cheap seats. God knew i would need to leave at intermission to beat the traffic and because I'd be dog tired. If I'd bought a good ticket months ago, I'd have stuck it out to get my money's worth!
That's just one of today's examples of my living out the Proverb: How can we understand the road we travel. It is the LORD who directs our steps.
I wonder what he has in store for us tomorrow.
(check the flickr link on the side for photos of other ways God's been arranging our plans.)
7/09/2006
17 Mile Drive, Monterey Peninsula
17 Mile Drive, Monterey Peninsula
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.
I've had moments of missing Singapore, but...not many with views and weather like this.
Jerky Perfection
I talked on the phone with a friend who has a number of children last week. She said it's great to raise toddlers when you have teenagers.
one minute you hear that you are a jerk and don't understand anything, and the next some adoring child will tell you that that you are the BEST MOMMY IN THE WHOLE WORLD. She says, "I know I'm not either. But, it is comforting to know I'm somewhere in the middle."
7/04/2006
She Just Doesn't Get It
I sit in the immaculate house with white carpeting, and a well kept garden. The gardeners come every Friday. The same day the house cleaner does.
We have another conversation in the livingroom where Jim grew up. FOX News runs in the background and the expensive collectables on all the shelves stare down at me.
I listen to her talk about all her annoying neighbors and the petty business between them all.
“Those people.”
"Yucky _______.”
It's not just the neighbors. The longer our visit stretches, I begin to realize that she has such easy criticism of all the others who get in her way, don't agree with her, or are not the same as us.
And then she talks glowingly about the people of prestige or wealth that she's met or is working with in her volunteer work.
No wonder she asks after dinner tonight,
"So you figure you've another 15 years until you retire? Don't you think you’ll ever move back here for work?”
What I hear between the lines in this and other comments over the past 8 weeks give me the sense that she feels her son’s wasted his career working, even serving, people who don't matter (to her).
I may not be being fair to read so much into it, but I do have a degree of discernment and I get the vibe that he's not living up to her expectations. Actually he's a big disappointment. He's not wealthy or well known. But there still may still be time for him if he gets back to USA; preferrably in Fullerton, CA, and gives himself more of a chance to be recognized for the bright, no, brilliant person that he is. Trouble is, I'm sure if he were the Mayor of Fullerton, or the Pastor of the largest church in town, there would still be other more powerful or influential or visible positions he could have to give her status among the people she believes are important.
It must be so hard for her to have her only son living on the other side of the world doing something that in her heart of hearts she doesn't feel is really worthwhile. She not only is robbed of her family being nearby (which isn't uncommon even if Jim had another career), but she's robbed of the prestige of having her son be "important" in the eyes of others who are "important." I pray that there is still time for her to grow a bigger heart and a bigger view of the world and our purpose in it. I pray for her to begin to grasp God's great love and compassion for ALL peoples, and that God's spirit would infect her heart with that same kind of love.
We have another conversation in the livingroom where Jim grew up. FOX News runs in the background and the expensive collectables on all the shelves stare down at me.
I listen to her talk about all her annoying neighbors and the petty business between them all.
“Those people.”
"Yucky _______.”
It's not just the neighbors. The longer our visit stretches, I begin to realize that she has such easy criticism of all the others who get in her way, don't agree with her, or are not the same as us.
And then she talks glowingly about the people of prestige or wealth that she's met or is working with in her volunteer work.
No wonder she asks after dinner tonight,
"So you figure you've another 15 years until you retire? Don't you think you’ll ever move back here for work?”
What I hear between the lines in this and other comments over the past 8 weeks give me the sense that she feels her son’s wasted his career working, even serving, people who don't matter (to her).
I may not be being fair to read so much into it, but I do have a degree of discernment and I get the vibe that he's not living up to her expectations. Actually he's a big disappointment. He's not wealthy or well known. But there still may still be time for him if he gets back to USA; preferrably in Fullerton, CA, and gives himself more of a chance to be recognized for the bright, no, brilliant person that he is. Trouble is, I'm sure if he were the Mayor of Fullerton, or the Pastor of the largest church in town, there would still be other more powerful or influential or visible positions he could have to give her status among the people she believes are important.
It must be so hard for her to have her only son living on the other side of the world doing something that in her heart of hearts she doesn't feel is really worthwhile. She not only is robbed of her family being nearby (which isn't uncommon even if Jim had another career), but she's robbed of the prestige of having her son be "important" in the eyes of others who are "important." I pray that there is still time for her to grow a bigger heart and a bigger view of the world and our purpose in it. I pray for her to begin to grasp God's great love and compassion for ALL peoples, and that God's spirit would infect her heart with that same kind of love.
6/23/2006
Father's Day 2005
A deep river called Sorrow
runs through the day's reunion.
The children can play
making their happy waves on the surface
with a bike, a few balls and a stockpile of water balloons.
Carefree, they enjoy a day with new friends.
But
no matter how promising the BBQ,
or plentiful the beer,
the undercurrents of sadness
and our deep sense of loss
pulls strongly at the grown-ups
who try to keep their chins above
the river's flow.
As we struggle for breath
and remind our hearts to take another beat,
cards get signed
and a gift is passed
for the last week expectant
no longer dad-to-be,
today the joy of another's child-on-the-way
is awkward and quenched.
the other 1st time uncle/dad/grandpas-to-be
will have time later to do their hopeful dreaming.
We made it through the day floating together on that river.
We made it mostly because we could find some joy in having so much to
catch up on.
Telling and hearing of missed milestones.
proposals,
weddings,
first houses,
and careers.
What is it like living in the cities that we call "home?"
It's a long wide and deep river.
There are no shortcuts to the journey of grief.
And this Father's Day falls
as early rapids in the river.
Jade Aiden never had to ride this river.
Can a day be called "a journey?"
Yet the baby so quickly here and gone
draws his family together.
There is a new depth of love and appreciation
for each other,
for each day,
and for live
though he so briefly lived.
Dear family,
Another week has gone by still mourning your loss.
And besides our Father's Day gathering,
it's not a journey we get to take with you.
We've made our way up the coast for our family vacation.
My folks are back to Orange County.
You are still on my heart. I think about you often.
The TV shows, the meals get eaten, the world keeps spinning
even when you feel like everything should just stop.
The long wide and deep river keeps rolling.
Please remember to be patient and gentle to yourselves.
There's no instant cure for the pain from your great loss.
Sure, there are loads of little tributaires that lead to dead ends--
diversions or denial keep you out of the white water rapids.
Sometimes you'll feel that you may drown.
Knuckle down and hold on tight.
Others have been down this river before and survived.
Keep holding on tight to one another as you ride through the grief.
Keep a travel log of the journey. Writing is therapeudic.
If you feel like telling me,
Let me know where this river is taking you.
runs through the day's reunion.
The children can play
making their happy waves on the surface
with a bike, a few balls and a stockpile of water balloons.
Carefree, they enjoy a day with new friends.
But
no matter how promising the BBQ,
or plentiful the beer,
the undercurrents of sadness
and our deep sense of loss
pulls strongly at the grown-ups
who try to keep their chins above
the river's flow.
As we struggle for breath
and remind our hearts to take another beat,
cards get signed
and a gift is passed
for the last week expectant
no longer dad-to-be,
today the joy of another's child-on-the-way
is awkward and quenched.
the other 1st time uncle/dad/grandpas-to-be
will have time later to do their hopeful dreaming.
We made it through the day floating together on that river.
We made it mostly because we could find some joy in having so much to
catch up on.
Telling and hearing of missed milestones.
proposals,
weddings,
first houses,
and careers.
What is it like living in the cities that we call "home?"
It's a long wide and deep river.
There are no shortcuts to the journey of grief.
And this Father's Day falls
as early rapids in the river.
Jade Aiden never had to ride this river.
Can a day be called "a journey?"
Yet the baby so quickly here and gone
draws his family together.
There is a new depth of love and appreciation
for each other,
for each day,
and for live
though he so briefly lived.
Dear family,
Another week has gone by still mourning your loss.
And besides our Father's Day gathering,
it's not a journey we get to take with you.
We've made our way up the coast for our family vacation.
My folks are back to Orange County.
You are still on my heart. I think about you often.
The TV shows, the meals get eaten, the world keeps spinning
even when you feel like everything should just stop.
The long wide and deep river keeps rolling.
Please remember to be patient and gentle to yourselves.
There's no instant cure for the pain from your great loss.
Sure, there are loads of little tributaires that lead to dead ends--
diversions or denial keep you out of the white water rapids.
Sometimes you'll feel that you may drown.
Knuckle down and hold on tight.
Others have been down this river before and survived.
Keep holding on tight to one another as you ride through the grief.
Keep a travel log of the journey. Writing is therapeudic.
If you feel like telling me,
Let me know where this river is taking you.
6/09/2006
Grace Kindergarten Sunday School
Grace Kindergarten
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.
Gonna miss these little cherubs when I'm in USA for 8 weeks. I lead worship with them about once a month.
6/06/2006
Managing Summer Media with kids
No more homework, baseball practices, or rigid bedtimes. And, if your house is like my house, no more obvious rules about when media can be on and off. This is a dream for my kids. To me, it often feels nightmarish trying to get them to tune out of their media and tune into the real world.Read the rest of the article here: Common Sense Media Blog
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