10/13/2012

Small, Wild, Significant Weed


Some have pointed out I don’t see the forest for the trees.
But on this weekend morning when I have some time alone
Trying to wrap my mind around the forest issues in my life,
There’s this 13 year old sapling
(Who’s more like a wild weed)
Outside my door.
She’s on her knees, looking under, through the crack.

3 times today I’ve already ignored her on caller ID
And it’s not yet 11AM.
Unable to succeed in breaking through to me on the phone
She comes to the apartment.
With her 6th sense that knows if I’m home.
She knocks, and knocks.
Her boredom and will are stronger than my ability to ignore.
I finally relent and open the door.
Greet her and ask a few questions.
Only to be stared at with stony silence.

Nevermind. I’ll say goodbye, shut the door,
And know another call is bound to come shortly.
Poor little weed has nothing to do but call and see if Auntykim
Will pick up and confirm –
“No, there’s no one home with her today.”
“Yes, the puppet show on Thursday was funny.”
“No, I’m not taking the dog to the dog park today.”
“Yes, I already took the dog for his walk.”
Pretty much the same conversation we have every time.
She just wants to check in.
Even if I end it after 60 seconds, “okay then, bye bye.”
She will happily repeat, “Okay, bye bye!”



God in heaven,
She’s just a sample child of tens of thousands around the world,
But not in my life.
Knocking on my door
Looking through my windows
Wearing out my cell phone battery.
You brought her in my life
As my shadow these 3+ years
Through her you’ve opened doors to others
who also need you, or need more of you,
And have seen you at work in the changes in her.

This relentless wild weed has re-defined “significance”
My desire for significance is now
On your terms.

But this morning,
She’s just irritating.



Oh that we all had a great and growing capacity to spend more of ourselves for the less fortunate, and show them, by your empowering, a genuine love and unselfish generosity. It wouldn’t change much. But life this side of heaven is but a breath, and we know your will is to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with You oh God.God.

(The Photo above is from October 7th. After taking Jim to the airport (a big outing for her). I decided to pull off the highway for an ice cream at a public beach where loads of people flock to on Sunday afternoons. Once we got there, I realized that this was her first time there. The first time she put her feet in the ocean. Imagine! 13 years old, and she lives on a small island.)