7/04/2006
She Just Doesn't Get It
We have another conversation in the livingroom where Jim grew up. FOX News runs in the background and the expensive collectables on all the shelves stare down at me.
I listen to her talk about all her annoying neighbors and the petty business between them all.
“Those people.”
"Yucky _______.”
It's not just the neighbors. The longer our visit stretches, I begin to realize that she has such easy criticism of all the others who get in her way, don't agree with her, or are not the same as us.
And then she talks glowingly about the people of prestige or wealth that she's met or is working with in her volunteer work.
No wonder she asks after dinner tonight,
"So you figure you've another 15 years until you retire? Don't you think you’ll ever move back here for work?”
What I hear between the lines in this and other comments over the past 8 weeks give me the sense that she feels her son’s wasted his career working, even serving, people who don't matter (to her).
I may not be being fair to read so much into it, but I do have a degree of discernment and I get the vibe that he's not living up to her expectations. Actually he's a big disappointment. He's not wealthy or well known. But there still may still be time for him if he gets back to USA; preferrably in Fullerton, CA, and gives himself more of a chance to be recognized for the bright, no, brilliant person that he is. Trouble is, I'm sure if he were the Mayor of Fullerton, or the Pastor of the largest church in town, there would still be other more powerful or influential or visible positions he could have to give her status among the people she believes are important.
It must be so hard for her to have her only son living on the other side of the world doing something that in her heart of hearts she doesn't feel is really worthwhile. She not only is robbed of her family being nearby (which isn't uncommon even if Jim had another career), but she's robbed of the prestige of having her son be "important" in the eyes of others who are "important." I pray that there is still time for her to grow a bigger heart and a bigger view of the world and our purpose in it. I pray for her to begin to grasp God's great love and compassion for ALL peoples, and that God's spirit would infect her heart with that same kind of love.
6/23/2006
Father's Day 2005
runs through the day's reunion.
The children can play
making their happy waves on the surface
with a bike, a few balls and a stockpile of water balloons.
Carefree, they enjoy a day with new friends.
But
no matter how promising the BBQ,
or plentiful the beer,
the undercurrents of sadness
and our deep sense of loss
pulls strongly at the grown-ups
who try to keep their chins above
the river's flow.
As we struggle for breath
and remind our hearts to take another beat,
cards get signed
and a gift is passed
for the last week expectant
no longer dad-to-be,
today the joy of another's child-on-the-way
is awkward and quenched.
the other 1st time uncle/dad/grandpas-to-be
will have time later to do their hopeful dreaming.
We made it through the day floating together on that river.
We made it mostly because we could find some joy in having so much to
catch up on.
Telling and hearing of missed milestones.
proposals,
weddings,
first houses,
and careers.
What is it like living in the cities that we call "home?"
It's a long wide and deep river.
There are no shortcuts to the journey of grief.
And this Father's Day falls
as early rapids in the river.
Jade Aiden never had to ride this river.
Can a day be called "a journey?"
Yet the baby so quickly here and gone
draws his family together.
There is a new depth of love and appreciation
for each other,
for each day,
and for live
though he so briefly lived.
Dear family,
Another week has gone by still mourning your loss.
And besides our Father's Day gathering,
it's not a journey we get to take with you.
We've made our way up the coast for our family vacation.
My folks are back to Orange County.
You are still on my heart. I think about you often.
The TV shows, the meals get eaten, the world keeps spinning
even when you feel like everything should just stop.
The long wide and deep river keeps rolling.
Please remember to be patient and gentle to yourselves.
There's no instant cure for the pain from your great loss.
Sure, there are loads of little tributaires that lead to dead ends--
diversions or denial keep you out of the white water rapids.
Sometimes you'll feel that you may drown.
Knuckle down and hold on tight.
Others have been down this river before and survived.
Keep holding on tight to one another as you ride through the grief.
Keep a travel log of the journey. Writing is therapeudic.
If you feel like telling me,
Let me know where this river is taking you.
6/09/2006
Grace Kindergarten Sunday School
Grace Kindergarten
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.
Gonna miss these little cherubs when I'm in USA for 8 weeks. I lead worship with them about once a month.
6/06/2006
Managing Summer Media with kids
5/31/2006
Old School Asian Teaching Style
I recently encountered a foreigner (white man) living here and
working in education who assumed there was an Asian teaching style
that included shaming by teachers, rote memorization for students,
devoid of creativity or encouragment. I'm happy to post here that the
stereotype for an Asian style of teaching methods is most definitely
an over-generalization. Though we've still got a load of problems and
pressure to reach academic excellence, teaching and learning in
Singapore is in many ways state-of-the-art. I was very pleased with
the teachers my kids had here for their first 6 years. There were a
few bumps along the way, but they were for the most part creative
educators par excellence. And they loved my kids! Of course there are
some "old school" teachers still around (wielding rulers for whacking
and shaming kids). But hopefully most of them will retire soon :-)
5/23/2006
Self Examination Downloads
5/21/2006
A watchman Waiting for the Dawn
With all my heart, I am waiting, LORD, for you! I trust your promises. I wait for you more eagerly that a soldier on guard duty waits for the dawn. Yes, I wait for you more eagerly that a soldier on guard duty waits for the dawn. [your name here], trust in the LORD! He is always merciful, and he has the power to save you. (CEV)
I AM that watchman. Waiting for dawn. I long for more specific marching orders from the Lord. But I'm just waiting. And as I wait, I am trying to learn to more truly adore God, to let him be enough to satisfy me. In my inactivity my flesh longs to do something influential with my life.
It's not enough that I am sure I'm sure I'm supposed to work in performing arts, cross culturally, and empower others while enjoying the creative process. Crazy. There's far too many options even having it narrowed down that much. I don't want to settle for "good" by marching out in my flesh to get busy. I want to wait. Be sure. Let God bring on the dawn, and make it crystal clear it's of him and not me.
I prayed together last week with one of the other moderators of our arts egroup. Well, we sat in silence most of the time. Thinking about this verse from Psalm 103. What does it mean to be a watchman waiting for dawn? Just waiting on the Lord for the answers to questions and hopes for my life, and praying the same for you, the artists in Singapore who follow Jesus. One member who wrote back today is in this same place of waiting. I imagine that many of you are.
I really got no answers today as I imagined myself in that watchtower. I'm not really one for visions, but it wasn't hard to imagine looking out into the blackness of night over a vast dark plain of desert. I could imagine watching the east for the sun to rise. And as it did, I saw what there was to see for now:
The only thing that was there was the sillouette of the cross on the horizon. And that's enough. It really is. I'll keep waiting with the song that sprang to my heart as soon as I saw it:
Forbid it Lord, that I should boast
Save in the death of Christ my God
All the vain things that charm me most
I sacrifice them to your blood.
Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
my post script to this post can be found at:
http://journeyofdesire.blogspot.com/2006/05/post-script-to-watchman-post.html
Sleepless in Singapore
Been getting to know others through their blogs this week. Will soon be attending the CRM conference in Santa Barbara, so I've been reading up on Consecration and checking out websites and blogs of others in CRM. It's the high tech way of getting to know someone without talking to them. Kind of like sizing a person up when you visit their home by looking at the books they have on their bookshelves. Our president, Sam Metcalf, (http://www.undertheiceberg.com) has a cool site. It was actually DESIGNED by someone (versus me, I just use a google template...and, uh yes...of course...I'm not the president of an organization). All kinds of cool little tricks like links to books... I've always been a sucker for gadgets. And now I'm just the same in my life online. I love learning about little gizmos (as long as I never have to learn how to use/write htm and can just cut and paste!) I've just added a new one tonight - the common sense media link on the side bar here.

Got to do a fun thing on Mother's Day this year: A couple hours in the afternoon shooting a little video for a company called Muvee. Do it yourself EASY home movies to dvd. They've given me a demo of the software but haven't tried it out yet... I was successful in making my own little dvds for my mom and mother in law with my ibook this year. So, that made doing this little acting job extra special. "What a great video!" i said to the camera (not straight on the director directed cause I look too intense), "You know, you could do this yourself too. Check it out.
okay. that's enough. i'm going to bed.
5/10/2006
Stephen Curtis Chapman Concert

Last night we had a special treat that beats our free tix to the
sold out cello recital a few weeks ago:
Stephen Curtis Chapman was in town, stopping by from Australia and the Philippines on his way to China. This Christian songwriter/musician has won over 40 Dove awards. That's more music awards than any Christian musician in history. Both his lyrics and his music are wonderful. He looks way too hip to be my age.
If you haven't heard of him, get an album. Any album.
(And where have you been for 20 years?) My favourite is Signs of Life...
but this one is newer and also INSPIRED.
The hosting church didn't advertise since the tickets for 2 concerts were snatched up by the congregation. I think the auditorium must hold 1500+. Lori Webb called the church, and kept calling until she got a person, and then she begged for 5 tickets. We got them. 5th row center. Free. We took our 3 boys. Awesome concert. Cameron and Lori's son Benjamin (also 9) were rocking out LOUDLY. I loved hearing his stories behind some of the songs. They've adopted 3 Chinese daughters.
Tyler was his usual stoic. But his excitement seeped thru. I could see him craning his neck to get a better view of how SCC was playing the guitar chords and fingering the songs. Then when Chapman started singing "All About Love" his face lit up and he yelled in my ear: "I was waiting for him to sing this one!!!"
Cameron was so cute, after it was over he asked if he could pray. So he lead us: "Dear God, we had a really good time tonight and I know you're really happy with how loud we were with so many people singing about how much you love us. I hope you had a good time too." What a treat.
When I made a new year's resolution to pray for more faith and more miracles this year, I didn't mean for them to be SELFISH miracles! God is lavishing his love on us in ways that are easy to see and feel.
I imagine I'll have the "post show blues" from soaking up and singing along full voice with such great live music. Oh how I'd like to have more good music in my life. It's something I probably took for granted growing up singing and all those years at RHCC. I don't think about it too much but I'm probably creatively malnourished without an outlet for singing.... I should sing more. I'm going to have to crank it up on the stereo and cut loose. It will probably help chase my blues away.
Kids are having sleepovers with 3 friends each. Cameron tonight, and Tyler Friday night. They love watching movies on our bed. I want a wall in my bedroom office so that I can have a testosterone free zone in the house (just kidding I really love it).
5/06/2006
A Whole New EXPAT World
Last year my relationships were almost exclusively with Singaporeans. This year, my calendar is filled with almost exclusively expat engagements.
My social world has nearly completely changed by switching the kids to the International Community School, and having our CRM friends the Webbs move to Singapore. Another 2 variables to the change is that I had to stop going to Tapestry Playback rehearsals or doing any local productions because of needing to get my back healed (trying the chiropractor and it seems to be working), and the 5 star group decided early in the year to discontinue our weekly meetings.
I feel so loved and affirmed and accepted in these new relationships. It is so nice to have someone let me know they've missed me when I wasn't there. Or to receive a thank you note for this or that, or immediate positive feedback when I've done something hard, or sacrificial, or that took my time to prepare. I'm wondering how much of it is imagined just because this new cirlce is culturally similar to me.
By the obvious contrasts these new strokes are, I'm thinking perhaps that the culture I've been trying to make my home and friends in the past 6 years just doesn't like me very much.
Or is that something that the Enemy wants me to believe and isn't true at all.
I did get a call after Easter from Joni, who's moved to Australia.
Su Lynn and I had a sweet lunch together a few weeks ago.
Sally, who's moved to Shang Hai always makes sure we get together when she visits home.
Yaen Cheng has invited us to Chinese New Year celebrations ever since we moved here and is a dear, generous friend even with juggling career and two babies.
Melissa and I had a wonderful lunch conversation 2 weeks ago.
It was ME who didn't make enough effort to see Agnes when she was back on her visit from London (could it be a subconscious rebellion because so many of my best new friends have moved away?)
Yes. I need to ignore that 'self talk' that tells me Singaporeans don't like me.
Perhaps they show their care in ways that I'm not seeing.
Or they are simply very busy.
Or perhaps they don't know how to nurture deep friendships.
It's tempting to give up on taking initiative and pursuit of friendships with Singaporean women. It would be so easy to be swept away into a life that circles around a membership in the American Women's Association. I admit, it is a powerful draw.
But if I give in to that temptation, then the whole point of moving to Singapore is lost. In the same way Jesus didn't move down to earth to serve and teach mankind and then keep hanging out with the angels, we didn't come to serve in Asia just to hang around other American Christians.
5/01/2006
Finished it 2 weeks ago.
I was so jazzed about it, I read the extensive AUTHOR'S NOTE aloud to Jim. My son Cameron, who is 9, is reading it now. He's really loving it. The whole time I was reading it I kept thinking, "She's really inside the head of an 8 year old who's trying to figure out his world." Hope I don't mess up his head between fact and fiction on what we know to be true from the Gospels and the rest of the immaculate research she did.
DaVinci code opens here in 3 1/2 weeks, so I'm rejoicing that a BETTER author than Dan Brown looked into the conspiracy theories (and a lot of other theories) and found them severely lacking any evidence. NOW her intellectual brain has submitted to this Lord and hse is writing about it for all of her vampire following (and others to read). Yeah!
4/17/2006
I've Joined a Bible Study with Expat Women

Doing a great study this year with some lovely women from St. George's. The author of the study, Beth Moore, was a victim of child abuse and this lesson from week five speaks to this issue. As I worked on the lesson this morning, I thought about many of my friends in theatre. I was asked to lead the last two weeks. What fun. I get to do it again this week and next.
Here's a bit from Day 3 of Week 5
Satan wants to keep people from receiving Christ as Savior. Certainly, childhood victimization is an effective deterrent since many victims feel they "cannot believe in a God who could let such things happen." If only they knew how anxious the Father is to heal and vindicate! The enemy can try to keep them blinded.... Since the enemy cannot keep salvation from anyone who wants to believe, he tries to insure that they will be either too emotionally handicapped to turn into an effecctive witness, or perhaps better yet, to driven by destruction to avoid scandal. The enemy's hope for Christians is that we will either be so ineffective we have no testimony, or we'll ruin the one we have.
And from the end of the lesson, here's a beautiful letter from God (based on what we know about him from the Bible). Put your name in the blanks.
My child, _________________, I loved you before you were born. I knit you in your mother's womb and knew what your first and last words would be. I knew every difficulty you _______________ would face. I suffered each one with you. Even the ones you didn't suffer with me. I had a plan for your life before you were born. The plan has not changed, _______________, no matter what has happened or what you have done. You see, I already knew all things concerning you before I formed you. I would never allow any hurt to come into your life that I could not use for eternity, _______________. Will you let me? Your truth is imcomplete unlesss you view it against the backdrop of my Truth. Your story, _______________, will forever remain incomplete...until you let Me do what only I can do with your hurt. Let Me perfect that which concerns you.
I remain,
Your Faithful Father.
3/31/2006
WISH LIST from 2004
Open spaces nearby
Big shade trees around
Doesn't feel boxed in
Near an MRT and Library
Near town
NO CONSTRUCTION
Lots of light indoors
air con in all or most rooms
access to cable (for internet and tv)
1600+ sq ft (we have almost 4000!)
3-4 bedrooms
near water, a view of water be nice (how about an ocean view from every room?)
3/30/2006
3/23/2006
Compassionless in Our Impending Visit to Thailand.
It's not the typical family vacation spot. But this is where we're going for the kids' week school break. From Singapore, it is relatively inexpensive to fly to nearby SE Asian countries, so let's go for it.
This is the poorest part of Thailand. Farmland. No, not all of Thailand is BEACH RESORTS.
We're not sure if where we'll sleep will have mattresses let alone pillows. We're trying to decide whether to take a can of RAID to spray on whatever it is we do sleep on.
But we're excited.
We're going to meet the family and freinds of our dear helper LOONNI. She's been there for 3 weeks now. Deciding whether to stay with them or come back to work for us. It's a hard decision.
Before she came to Singapore, she'd never met a Christian, let alone heard how much Jesus loves her and wanted to give meaning to her life. She learned and believed that Jesus also gave her hope that the good parts of life here on earth are just a sign of the wonders to come in an eternal life with no pain...no poverty. Now she wants to share this Good News with her family and friends from her village. We don't think there's another church within hours of where she's from. We want to do what we can to give her claims a little more backing. Her claims of having "new life" from this Jewish Savior who lived 2000 years ago and claimed to be the Son of God.
Interesting that this remote place we're going is possibly near where the NE Thailand boy lives who we've been sponsoring through Compassion for the last 6 years. More than 4 weeks ago I wrote to Compassion to find out if there were a way to find out where exactly "Hathai Christian Banklang School" is. If we're going all this way, and it's VERY unlikely that we'll go again, wouldn't it be nice to have a chance to meet in person? It's probably not very often that sponsors just happen to be "in the area." Surely they'll be helpful in letting us meet him...
I get an email back from Compassion:
Hello Friends. Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, we cannot
arrange a child visit that quickly. We do need about 6 weeks notice to
arrange a visit. Please go to our website www.compassion.com to find
information about personal visits and upcoming tours.
blah blah blah.
That settled that. The answer was "NO." I don't have time to keep writing emails. Something told me that it would prove pointless in the end, and I'm over my head busy trying to keep up with ministry obligations AND all the work that Loonni normally helps with (like line drying all the laundry...I know, I know, poor baby, doesn't have her maid for a month!). Anyway, a web search for tracking him down proved fruitless. So, it doesn't look like Watcherin Kumkhert will meet the family who's been sponsoring him, and writing him the past 6 years. I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday. I know that it would take SOME arrangements on behalf of Compassion staff, but why would it take 6 weeks if we are arranging all the travel and will get there ourselves? I asked my husband. He had an interesting reply:
"Well things like this take time." He said. "Besides the expected arranging of a host to meet us in town and then go with us to the school, they would have to first send a scout out to that area of Thailand to find a kid who looks like the one in our picture. Same height. Approximate age. This could take a week or so. Then, once they've found him, they would have to go to a nearby school and bribe the principal to agree during our visit that the school is named Hathai Christian Banklang School..."
I smile. Jim's so funny sometimes.
"Then they would have to make all NEW signs to cover the REAL school signs. Another week or so."
Uh huh.
"And then they'd have to pay someone to go over our pictures with the kid to make sure he knows who we are and gives the right responses."
I told him that I was going to blog this conversation.
"All these things take time Kimberly. You can't just SHOW UP to see your kid."
Ah well. God is sovereign. Compassion is a good organization (even if more than half of what we give in sponsorship goes to overhead/administrative costs for people to do things like answer a sponsor's emails) We've got plenty to trust the Lord about on this crazy trip without the added leg of finding Watcherin.
Bless him Lord. Help him stay on track in his studies. Help him to grow up to truly follow you and be a leader to help his people out of spiritual bondage and poverty. Thank you for Compassion and other organizations like them who are doing what they can, and the best they know how, to eliminate wretched poverty on this planet. In Jesus name, AMEN.
3/02/2006
I'm Blogging a Sports Article?
Oh my goodness. This article of one of lifes GOLDEN MOMENTS brought tears to my eyes. Wow. It's great to be alive and part of the human race.
2/20/2006
Chiropractors
Six weeks ago I saw the proof of "subluxation" in the xrays. I really don't want to get calcium deposits and bone spurs in the places where my neck bones have gotten out of whack. Yes. Yes. I want to get that healthy curve back in my neck! So I've signed up for the GOLD FAMILY PLAN to get the $70/visit cost reduced to $50 and and I'm trekking to CHIROPRACTIC CARE downtown mid-day on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays.
My husband is cheering me on for pursuing and sticking with a remedy for chronic neck & shoulder pain, but he remains a ROYAL skeptic. He got a free consultation with the GOLD PLAN. The kids did too and they thought it was really COOL! However, Jim is sure that Dr. Mark injured him while checking the flexiblity in his neck. Every morning since he went in, he tells me his neck still hurts.
He imagines this is what Dr. Mark was saying to himself.
"Oh, so you don't think you need a chiropractor?
(he puts his hands around Jim's chin)
We'll...(twist)
...just...(twist further)
...see about that!! (crack!)"
The part that's started to make me dubious is that I am not given any advice but "KEEP COMING IN...YOU'RE DOING GREAT TO BE REALLY FAITHFUL TO YOUR APPOINTMENTS."
as they chock up another $35 for 3 minutes spent on making my neck and back make more popping sounds (or not).
If I'm this motivated to put my active life on hold to get better, then I want to know about whatever else is going to aid in my healing (diet? exercise?). But supposedly that's what's coming after the first 8 weeks of adjustments...after my spine is where it should be.
I'm feeling like the guy who met Jesus and wanted his kid to be healed.
"If you can make him well..." he said to the Master.
Jesus confidently said, " 'If?' Dude. You've got to Believe."
and the guys says, "I do believe. Help my unbelief."
Problem is. With 'belief' we need to know that what we're putting our faith in has credibility...so because I'm faint of heart, I spent some time on the web reading up on physical therapy for whiplash and feedback on chiropractic care to give myself a little extra encouragement. All I come away with for sure is that I now have a greater chance of getting a stroke. I'd better keep reading.
I've already got the GOLD PLAN and I've committed 5 weeks already. Gonna stick with it and see what happens.
But I'm going to start taking a daily aspirin to thin my blood in case on of those thrice weekly neck pops wants to send a blood clot to my brain.
2/19/2006
Highlight of the Week: Family Night
We're getting them to blog! A few years back, it started as "Family Reading Night." After a meal of the week's best leftovers (or popcorn if there's nothing else to eat), we read to each other. We pick highlights of what we've been reading the past week and take turns reading for up to 15 minutes each. It's been a sweet on-mom-and-dad's-big-bed family tradition for awhile now and this year, we've added new components.
First we review Chinese Characters together with Clavis Sinica, a new progam Jim found. Our apartment has a big screen in the living room, which makes what could be mundane into something fun for the family.
After Chinese review, we do some blogging. That's why I'm sitting here. The kids are writing an essay on the highlight(s) of their week, and I'm waiting to help them post it, or answer their, "Mom, how do you spell..." occassional questions. Once this is done and the showers are taken, we finally get to have our reading time.
Tonight we got a late start since Tyler was with 2 of his Singaporean buddies for the afternoon. I'm so glad he's keeping up with their friendships. An answer to prayer, so we didn't mind putting off our family time together in order to give Bob a ride home from Ben's and have some extra time with him in the car (even if it was mostly Cameron annoying them, and Tyler and Bob listening to an MP3 player!)
2/15/2006
My Domestic Side
After 12 years of married life, my mother and mother-in-law had nearly given up on me as one who could produce anything edible from the kitchen. But when we left the states, the challenge of making a comfort food while living in China surfaced my domestic side.
Nearly all my favourite recipes come from a Wycliffe International cookbook that was put together in 1989 with the intention of it being used by people (mostly Americans) living in other cultures. It is out of print now but it has been the best general help to me and I always turn to it first for answers. I write the dates next to recipes and little notes about who likes it, etc. It is dog earred, stained, marked up and is probably one of the things I'd grab after my kids & my laptop in case of a fire!
It's funny that I'm writing out recipes today for the ICS cookbook. Tomorrow night, the Wycliffe friends who gave me the book for a wedding gift (which I didn't use for the first 12 years) are coming thru Singapore and staying with us.
2/14/2006
Someone Asked if I'm a Homeschooler & the latest News
(I imagine to REAL homeschoolers this is a cop out, or that I'm cheating somehow.) I want my home to be a VIBRANT CENTRE FOR LEARNING. But I can't do it full time with the sole responsiblity of educating them!
Since August, the boys are now attending International Community School near Mt. Faber (we now live a 10 minute walk from the school) It's a Christian International school and parents are very involved. one class per grade level with about 15 kids per class. Small. Nice. Our 6 years in Singaporean schools were good for us too. But it was the right time to switch them over to an American curriculum in a Christian environment.
I do a weekly drama club for about 16 of the kids from 3rd to 8th grade, have 2 groups of artists who are doing book studies for spiritual and character development and attend a women's bible study with expat ladies from St. George's Church (I realized lately that I have not been in regular fellowship with PEERS for 8 years! It is nice to just be a part of a group of wives, moms, Christians in their mid 30's or older, and mostly all "westerners"...MY TRIBE)
I'm also "consulting" with a new theatre practitioner friend; a catholic gal who's doing a devised piece of theatre on DESIRES with 2 other women who are not Christian. She wants the piece to ultimately point people to God, but also needs to resolve some of her confusion about her own passions and desires. Challenging!
Besides that the only regular "work" i have is going to the chiropractor 3 times a week. Started in January. Praying for healing in my spine. Mostly in my neck where it is out of place and causing irritation to my nervous system.
Our helper, Loonni, is going back home for a month in 2 weeks, so I've not taken on any other "work" 'cause I'm going to be the housekeeper/cook here for awhile. Give me a dose of "real life for moms." I've been so SOOO fortunate to be able to pursue relationships and theatre as a ministry with her doing all the housework. But for a season, that priviledge is going on the shelf.
Our family will take a trip to her village on the 4th week (when she's making the final decision whether to come back or not). We offered to come up to see her there and help her share the Gospel with her family and village. She never met a Christian or heard about Jesus before coming to Singapore. So we're praying that thru the grace of God, showing the Jesus film in her language (Isan) and introducing her and her family to other Christians we're trying to find in her area, that they will become followers of Jesus too. We're also praying for God to make his will known to her about her future. Of course we want her to come back with us (and anyone who's met her wholeheartedly agrees that she is a JEWEL!) but above that, we want what God wants for her.
2/10/2006
My Confessions at Bedtime Prayers
Each night that I'm home at bedtime, my husband, James or I (or both of us), will pray with our boys at their bedside. Sometimes we'll all pile on their beds together. Over the years, it's been a sweet family time. It's also been a place where I think my kids get to hear my heart in a way that doesn't take place over meals, homework, chores, or errands or lessons.
On days when I've not really been a "victorious Christian mother," and if I've been convicted about it, this snuggle time is also a time when I confess to the Lord where I've blown it as a parent and my children are listening in (adding "AMEN!" just kidding!!) Sometimes I pray for the child's emotional healing if I've said harsh words that cannot be taken back. I speak of my thankfulness for the child's positive qualities, listing them, as a blessing on them. Most times I thank God that he never blows it, is always patient and is always a perfect judge, or knows the right answer. He, not I, is the perfect parent. I always, thank God for letting me be their mom even if I make mistakes, and ask Him to use my being their mom to mold my character and make me more and more righteous and good.
Regular bedtime prayers is an easy place to fall into "Christianese" (jargon) and let the prayers become "rote." So, I purposely don't pray the same thing all the time (thank goodness I don't have to have major confessions everyday!). Sometimes I'll even let the kids in on my questions of God, and how I don't understand the hows and whys of suffering, or poverty, or or or. I believe it's freeing for both me and my kids to have me admit that I'm not perfect and that I have questions.
I think this is part of the reason my kids really open up during this bedtime ritual. Sometimes I get to hear things that are on their hearts that they wouldn't ordinarily share. Because they open their hearts to the Lord in my presence, I can then pray for them other times knowing what's on their deep heart.
My boys are 13 and 9. I wonder if there will ever be a point when they don't want to pray with us at bedtime, or will become rebellious and sullen through the day and unwilling to confess their sinful attitudes at night. I might be able to make them apologize to another person, but I can't force them to do it with the LORD! For now, it's the highlight of being a parent for me.
Cameron, my 9 year old tells me nearly every day that he "can't sleep without the prayers or your sweet kiss." Tyler, now 13 years old, won't always tell me when he's going to bed, and I lose track of time sometimes; but he seems to still love it when I remember.
1/29/2006
Family at the Shangrila
Family at the Shangrila
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.
Having a great time with Mom and Dad here for Chinese New Year. First time living in the Chinese world to have Chun Jie with Family here.
1/23/2006
Sports Mama
I was one loud cheerleader on the sidelines for the U14 basketball team he's playing on with other kids from ICS. So much fun I've been missing out on while putting the kids in Singaporean school. In the last 6 years they gave badminton and ping pong a try for their Extra Curricular Activities! He's just turned thirteen this month and it was so fun to see him get assertive on the court - a side of him I only see when it's being bossy or annoyed with his little brother.
Cameron and I were so proud of him. GO TYLER!
1/10/2006
1/02/2006
Reflecting on 2005
Understand others and myself better by taking an Intro to Counseling course, a DISC course, and reading Now, Discover Your Strengths.
Another way I saw myself growing was…
Keeping my opinions to myself. Being more open minded. Not needing to convince others or be understood. Listening better. Being part of a team. Not always successful, but I have learned to keep my mouth shut and my ears open just a bit more. Still loads of room for growth there!
A real gift from God was…
A November retreat in Cameron Highlands with the COOS drama team. Doing enacted prayer with them and having sweet anonymous notes.

Something I really enjoyed doing more of was…
Playback theatre rehearsals when we shared through long forms about our lives and influential experiences.
One of the happiest memories I’d like to freeze in my mind…
Just about everything about our June/July in USA:

Camping at Doheny with old friends, being with Linda while she was sick - seeing my children make good friends with the children of my childhood friend. Time with the in-laws. Time in Georgia. A family reunion in Tennessee. Hearing my cousin Ryan Anthony play trumpet as a guest artist in an off the beaten track concert (I never thought I’d get to hear him play live!)

I was really brave when…
I spoke in my parents’ Sunday School class this summer. Any speaking “engagement” is terrifying for me. I did it once last year, and twice this year.
We signed the lease for the new apartment. Can we really afford it, even if it is a great price? It is a stretch. Will people think badly of us as “missionaries” living in a beautiful place?
Something I’m looking forward to in this new year…
Feeling settled, and enjoying the view with new and old friends. Enjoying my husband and children. My parents are coming to visit. Getting more organized and efficient. Reading some good books and learning more. Having opportunities to share life with others.
12/30/2005
Highlights of Last Year
Copy these for reflecting elsewhere (or in comments!). You can write more than one thing in each category!
This year I learned to…
In walking with God, I grew most in…
Another way I saw myself growing was…
One of my best adventures was…
I saw/knew God was doing something when…
A real gift from God was…
Something I really enjoyed doing more of was…
One of the happiest memories I’d like to freeze in my mind…
I was really brave when…
Something God took from me this year was…
I’m still trying to learn what God wants to teach me through this hard experience…
The best word of advice or encouragement I can remember is…
Something I’m looking forward to in this new year…
12/24/2005
This is How We Spent Christmas Eve...
The Witch & her Minions
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.
and then these two subjects went home and filled my stocking...with FRUIT!
CHRISTMAS EVE on Orchard Road, Singapore
12/18/2005
Sleeping in...
After a long day...
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.
With Birthdays and Christmas and Narnia, I've been a hardworkin' mama.a
The White Witch & Edmund

World of Narnia Opened Saturday and Tyler and I had a fun time on our shift together Sunday night. Acting together for the first time. What fun! Best of all, dad, Cameron and Grandparents came through in one of the "tours" to watch it. Thank God for how it has all come together in 4 short weeks!