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7/04/2015
What's New(s) for Our Search...
6/06/2015
In a Transition?
May 28th I had a delightful morning in the Adult Center at Rolling Hills Covenant Church. We had an hour together to talk about Navigating Transitions. Here's my favorite nugget of advice:
How to Thrive
- Lower the bar.
- Set small short term goals (example).
- Talk about it and deal with feelings openly with the intention to overcome and not to whine and stay stuck.
- Strengthen connections (intentional with only a few from the past, and dig in with new ones who are reciprocating as God brings them along).
- Resist blaming or lashing out at those who are going through with you.
- Strengthen your relationship with them because they are your allies.
- Pay attention to replentishing activities in the new situation. (What are examples of this?) Accept and embrace with your heart this new beginning and let go. Even though the unknowns of the future are scary, refuse to mull on the past (ie. “Remember when…” “The good ol’ days”)
- Covenant with God to cling to him and make the most of your transition to grow in knowing and serving him.
SACRED PATHWAYS: The Enthusiast, Loving God Through Mystery & Celebration
The wonderful ladies in the Rooted group have agreed to explore Sacred Pathways with me in the coming months. We took the survey in Myra Perrine's book What's Your God Language? and have decided to focus on one pathway between now and when we meet again at the end of the month.
How Myra defines the Enthusiasts:
- · Loves God with gusto
- · Is called the "cheerleader of the faith"
- · Is often closest to God when gathered with others, singing and worshiping the Lord in the congregation (for them, worship is “party time”)
- · Is inspired by joyful celebration, and is usually comfortable expressing emotion during worship
- · Is at home with spiritual mystery and living a life of expectancy, prayer, and creativity
- · Gives merit to dreams as a way of receiving direction from God, and feels the freedom to explore the supernatural
- · Enthusiasts are cheerleaders of the faith who often feel closest to God when expressing themselves with open emotion and celebration.
- · Enjoy the freedom to express their love and devotion to God with complete freedom and abandon – they’ve lost in the love and mystery of God.
- · Contemplatives vs. Enthusiasts: Contemplatives express love to God in intimate, private ways; Enthusiasts express love to God in open displays of affection.
- · They write much of our worship music and allow us to see the joy of the Kingdom!
Kimberly's IDEAS to explore this
Pathway…
- 1. Take time (maybe even an hour!) to listen to/sing along with worship music. Journal what you experienced in this focused time or personal worship. Don’t be concerned about the quality of your voice…think of what you are doing as “as sacrifice of praise” no matter how you sound!
- 2. Choose a hymn or praise song that enthusiastically praises God as your “theme song” for the month. Sing it or listen to it as much as you are able. Learn to play it on an instrument you know how to play (or once knew how to play!)
- 3. Memorize Revelation 4:8 or and recite it aloud, repeating if you want, or if you find you have trouble concentrating.
- 4. Before attending corporate worship at church, pray for the Lord to help you be focused on worshipping him through the service, and enjoy the fact that you are in the midst of the assembly of saints together worshipping and honoring him. While more aware of the fact that you are in the midst of this big family of faith, “Fix your eyes upon Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith.” Hebrews 12:2 Ask him to fill your mind with himself and guard you from distractions, critique, or sleepiness! Keep your journal with you in church and enter into worship with an expectation that he will speak to your through his Spirit. Write down your impressions and insights through the service.
- 5. Create something, or give something a new sparkle with the work of your hands. Do your best to make something shine for the glory of God. Love him with the work of your creativity and hands. We were made in the image of God and he is our Creator! Choose something that won’t frustrate you, but will be a joyful experiment/practice. Take a photo of it and send it to us, and/or ring the fruit of your work next month to our meeting so we can rejoice with you and be inspired to do more creating ourselves!
- 6. Begin a long letter of thanksgiving to the Lord, see how long the letter can get over the month. Aim for 1000 reasons you are grateful to him!
- 7. Read through the Psalms this month looking for the ones which show the Psalmist’s Enthusiast worship style. If you get to the end of the book before the end of the month, go back to chapter one and read them again. Before the end of the month, write your own Psalm or more than one!
- 8. Identify someone you know who is an Enthusiast and get together with them to talk about their advice for cultivating this in yourself.
- 9. Keep your journal by your bed to write down any dreams you have that wake you up, or that you remember in the morning. Ask the Lord if he is speaking to you through the images or story in the dream. Share it with a mature friend or two to seek their opinion about what you sense God may be saying.
- 10. What other ways might God be asking you to take risks and expectantly step out eager to see him do a new thing, do the miraculous, show his power and glory to you (or through you) to others? Conscientiously work to step out of your comfort zone this month!
- 11. If you need a boost to recapture “childlike enthusiasm and faith” spend some time with little ones…visit a children’s Sunday school class.
- 12. Read your Bible this month with more imagination involved. Place yourself in the scene as your read. As you are working on difficult things, actively imagine that Christ is present with you while you do it.
- 13. Use more exclamation marks in your writing this month! ;-)
5/20/2015
UPDATE: Put Off / Put On Daily Prayers for Freedom in Christ
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5/10/2015
Mothers Day Letter to My Mom
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May you be strengthened with all power,
according to his glorious might, for all endurance
and patience with joy, giving thanks
to the Father, who has qualified you to
share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from
the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in
whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians
1:9-14
Dear
Mom,
Well
here we are again at another Mother’s Day. The annual day that guilty children
get to try to make up for a year of neglect and mistreatment toward their
hardworking, longsuffering mothers.
As
I remember it, you always used to say, “Don’t
make a big deal about me on Mother’s Day. That’s for those who don’t have a
good relationship with their mom and feel guilty.…Be good to me all year round
and then you don’t have to grovel on Mother’s Day!”
Still,
how can we help but get sentimental…what with all the seasonal TV commercials
reminding us about how wonderful our moms are, and why buying a product will
somehow make us more honorable offspring.
While
living in Asia, even without the sentimental Mother’s Day traditions and
advertising, the least I could do for you was to get on the FTD website and
send you some rotting floral arrangement. And why is that?
Perhaps
because even with your permission to not participate in the commercialism of
the holiday, I felt guilty. Neglectful. We were living so far away and making
you an orphan mom year after year while your peers went to brunch. I’m glad to
be from a society that makes such a big deal about the mothers. Even if it is commercialized
and only one day a year. It’s a good reminder for all the narcissistic offspring
to consider who laid the foundation in life for us.
You
were such a good, creative, energetic, talented, hardworking, efficient and
godly Mom. I looked up to you growing up and wanted to be like you in your
ability to juggle so much with such excellence and a good attitude.
Now
that you are in a different season and your contribution to the family is different
than the multi-tasking working mom, I admire you even more.
In
your Golden Years, you are peaceful,
kind, loving, sweet, caring, warm. It makes me cry to think about how wonderful
it is to be around you these past few years.
In
church yesterday YLFC Pastor Matthew asked us to fill in the blank, “My mom
always said…” Here’s my list from only thinking a couple of minutes:
·
Is
the Pope a Catholic?
·
Always
wear a slip.
·
Here's
a dime...[call someone who cares]
·
Bastanté
es bastanté.
·
Just
do it. (Before the Nike campaign…in fact
before Nike!)
·
Traps
Kim, traps.
·
Oh,
get over it.
·
You'd
lose your head if it wasn't fastened on.
Yeah, in earlier years, your warm heart
as a mother was expressed more in the TONS of cards you wrote for every
occasion. When you wrote to me it was always affirming and Godly messages on
cards and letters. I have many of them scanned and stored as treasured photos.
Here’s a couple of favorites:
(1885) (2004)
Thank you for a lifetime of treasured
memories. In my heart, and on my hard drive!
As
a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted
over Jerusalem. Isaiah 66:13
Love,
Your Firstborn, Kimberly Eileen
San Pedro, California, USA
Mother’s Day, 10 May 2015
3/06/2015
Re-Entry Notes at 4 months
Re-entry has been filled first with
refinishing the old apartment with new surfaces floor to ceiling and hardware
in every room (We only got our fridge delivered a few weeks ago) then the
fullness of Christmas and New Year with family and churches, and kids
birthdays, and then Jim’s big knee replacement mid January. So much work in
those early weeks just keeping ice around the house! So, too busy to think
about re-entry!
I have learned over the years what I
need for my mental health in transition (well, always!): that I need to be
connected regularly with women, and creative friends…so I signed up right away
for a weekly group of women, and am making sure that more than once a week I am
socially getting together with creative people or women.
And I need to keep the music on and
dive into some kind of creative project. I borrowed a guitar (for JIM) and have
started toughening up my fingertips for the first time in more than 30 years,
learning a song a week is my goal.
I also have the continued longing to
put roots down, and a persistent disconnect that in my physical life I cannot.
Our 14 months in Malaysia I started a raised garden on my rooftop patio and
found it immensely satisfying to grow vegetables…so with my February birthday
money I bought pots and potting soil and some seeds and starter plants. I tell
people it is a spiritual exercise that symbolically represents my physical
life... to garden… I tell the Lord how much I REALLY want to plant a fruit
bearing tree that takes YEARS of cultivation to bear fruit, I want to put roots
down DEEP. God instead says, “Here, how about these zucchini’s and summer
squash? Loads of yield in only a couple months of nurture.”
So I’m keeping my eyes, ears and
heart open for God’s orchestration of who is initiating and comes on the radar
and what kinds of ministry can be fruitful no matter if I’m only here for a few
months…a year. … I feel in some ways like a gardener/anthropologist. Maybe I’ll
get some new business cards made with that title!
12/30/2014
How it feels to be back in USA after six weeks
Saying our goodbyes in Asia
One of the things I’m looking forward to this sabbatical is a slower pace.
As we rode the whitewater rapids of the goodbyes and moving this fall, which included long distance renovation decisions along with Jim’s extensive travel schedule right up to the end, there seemed to be more to do than was humanly possible.
I managed to stay at peace for nearly all of if, centered in God’s hands, letting him (rather then my obsessive perfectionism) remind me what was important or what was a priority for the moment. There’s a whole lot that didn’t get done, but I am trusting that this way, the things that are missing or undone will be forgiven or forgotten.
One of the things I’m looking forward to this sabbatical is a slower pace.
As we rode the whitewater rapids of the goodbyes and moving this fall, which included long distance renovation decisions along with Jim’s extensive travel schedule right up to the end, there seemed to be more to do than was humanly possible.
I managed to stay at peace for nearly all of if, centered in God’s hands, letting him (rather then my obsessive perfectionism) remind me what was important or what was a priority for the moment. There’s a whole lot that didn’t get done, but I am trusting that this way, the things that are missing or undone will be forgiven or forgotten.
One thing I did during the goodbye months, was to intentionally write letters of blessing to those who called me there mentor, and then did my best to meet personally with them for a meal or for coffee before our departure. A group of artists threw a going away party for me. Read poems. Sang original songs. Loved on me the whole evening. Let me sing for them, and challenge them about their ongoing role in being mentors to others. It was such a special night.
Straddling ministry in Singapore/Malaysia/Vietnam and China, Jim and I had a lot of goodbyes to make, and we do feel really good about the closure there. Some things are certainly passed off and in good hands. Other places have multiple fulfilling ministry options to return to, should God lead that way.
Renovations Remotely
It’s been nearly 6 weeks that we’ve been back now, and despite it being the holiday season, the house is nearly finished. Painted stem to stern and fresh hardware and flooring, plus all the large appliances needing purchasing or replacing. The renters were pretty low maintenance and we are thankful for that!
Nevertheless, we discovered many things were broken that they just lived with. Heating/Air, garbage disposal, hot water heater. It’s been a bigger task than we first imagined. But we are nearly finished. The new fridge won't be delivered for awhile yet. My folks still had the small fridge my brother used college! It looks pretty funny in the spot for the fridge, but after living in a dorm room in China for 2 years, we know how to make things work!
It’s been nearly 6 weeks that we’ve been back now, and despite it being the holiday season, the house is nearly finished. Painted stem to stern and fresh hardware and flooring, plus all the large appliances needing purchasing or replacing. The renters were pretty low maintenance and we are thankful for that!
Nevertheless, we discovered many things were broken that they just lived with. Heating/Air, garbage disposal, hot water heater. It’s been a bigger task than we first imagined. But we are nearly finished. The new fridge won't be delivered for awhile yet. My folks still had the small fridge my brother used college! It looks pretty funny in the spot for the fridge, but after living in a dorm room in China for 2 years, we know how to make things work!
The painters will return to redo some work. (In our absence. We leave for Georgia to be with family over new years and getting Cameron back to school in TN). The wrong paint was used on all the built in cabinets through the house, and though it had a few days to dry before we arrived, there were an unseemly amount of knicks and scratches across many surfaces in the first couple of days. Also while away, the glass will go in the showers, which for this first month have been more like the high school gym shower experience: open!
Settling back in our home from 17 years ago...renovations ongoing
The second day we were back, we had a housewarming “fill the pantry” party, and wow! the cupboards are no longer bare, food, and small appliances, and kitchen towels. I felt like a bride again!
The second day we were back, we had a housewarming “fill the pantry” party, and wow! the cupboards are no longer bare, food, and small appliances, and kitchen towels. I felt like a bride again!
But the shelves and mantle were all scratched from the gifts delivered that night! So along with the other knicks that were made when the painter hung doors and cabinet doors when the paint wasn’t quite set, they’re coming back to fit it.
We’ve begged borrowed and ransacked the thrift stores for all the furniture and the rest. A couple of desk chairs, a desk for me and a dining table and chairs is all we still have to go. A couple of borrowed card table and chairs have served well so far.
The bathrooms also had the wrong flooring laid and now that has been corrected. The contractor put in toilets that were $800!!! We only asked for one. When we arrived there were 2 in the boxes, so we thought, “Oh well, guess we'll have 2 then.” Only weeks later did we see what they cost! One pitfall from remotely working on a renovation.
We didn’t even bother telling the general contractor that the carpet laid in Jim’s office is not the right color. We decided to live with it. Part of the cost of doing it from the other side of the world with a friend who apparently is not doing well on the details anymore. We spent more money in the last 6 weeks than any other 6 weeks of our lives!
But we heave a sigh of relief. With the wrapping paper of Christmas down the trash chute, and the last of these renovation details getting finished soon, the place is nearly ready for whatever is next. Be it, a better price on a sale, or a second home we can use for when we visit our folks, or offer hospitality in LA when others are traveling here.
But we heave a sigh of relief. With the wrapping paper of Christmas down the trash chute, and the last of these renovation details getting finished soon, the place is nearly ready for whatever is next. Be it, a better price on a sale, or a second home we can use for when we visit our folks, or offer hospitality in LA when others are traveling here.
What is next?
We are still uncertain about what God’s plans are post recovery from Jim’s knee surgery which is is January 19th. It seems like as a couple, so much of our life is focused on getting this done in the midst of making sure our parents and boys feel loved and supported through the holidays. I would certainly like to know what is the direction for post recovery on that surgery. A few ideas have been floated to Jim, and there are some interesting openings even outside of CRM that would suit his gifts. We are both confident that God will make it clear. I am seeing this season as a time for reconnecting with and offering support to people who’ve been so supportive of us over the years. It is REALLY nice to visit people without the awareness that this will probably be the ONLY time I see them in years. I am hearing that this feeling is mutual. We may not be seeing everyone often, but just knowing we’re nearer, is a happy thought.
We are still uncertain about what God’s plans are post recovery from Jim’s knee surgery which is is January 19th. It seems like as a couple, so much of our life is focused on getting this done in the midst of making sure our parents and boys feel loved and supported through the holidays. I would certainly like to know what is the direction for post recovery on that surgery. A few ideas have been floated to Jim, and there are some interesting openings even outside of CRM that would suit his gifts. We are both confident that God will make it clear. I am seeing this season as a time for reconnecting with and offering support to people who’ve been so supportive of us over the years. It is REALLY nice to visit people without the awareness that this will probably be the ONLY time I see them in years. I am hearing that this feeling is mutual. We may not be seeing everyone often, but just knowing we’re nearer, is a happy thought.
Where will we find a church home?
We’ve made the rounds of nearly half dozen church services in the area…our primary sending church had a lot of fall out over the years we’ve been away, and individual friends and supporters are spread around now. I hope that God will lead clearly about how to navigate that so that we will feel settled and have community. We have dinner tonight with the family of a church planting pastor who had been Jim’s best friend when they were both associates at the sending church. We did Christmas Eve at the church plant in Palos Verdes started by the former Crusade, then Willow Creek, then Saddleback couple we had in early married years talked about being missionaries together. Both of these churches are smaller and have some good friends there. But our home church also has a strong pull, even though it is huge, and there are so many many new people we don’t know. We laughed going to the Christmas program with the aged choir. “There’s one group were people know us.” Jim laughed. That Christmas program was like going back in a time warp! Seemed like nothing had changed in 17 years!
Parenting Adult Children, a transition
We’ve made the rounds of nearly half dozen church services in the area…our primary sending church had a lot of fall out over the years we’ve been away, and individual friends and supporters are spread around now. I hope that God will lead clearly about how to navigate that so that we will feel settled and have community. We have dinner tonight with the family of a church planting pastor who had been Jim’s best friend when they were both associates at the sending church. We did Christmas Eve at the church plant in Palos Verdes started by the former Crusade, then Willow Creek, then Saddleback couple we had in early married years talked about being missionaries together. Both of these churches are smaller and have some good friends there. But our home church also has a strong pull, even though it is huge, and there are so many many new people we don’t know. We laughed going to the Christmas program with the aged choir. “There’s one group were people know us.” Jim laughed. That Christmas program was like going back in a time warp! Seemed like nothing had changed in 17 years!
Parenting Adult Children, a transition
Our boys are with us now, and there’s nothing on earth that makes me temporally happier than when we are all together.
If there is going to be any fall-out with adult children for errors we have made in parenting, we have yet to hear about it. I tried to pre-empt their need for psychoanalysis as adults and blaming me for their problems by telling them that I was intentionally imperfect (aka a nutcase mother), because I wanted my future daughters-in-law to like me, rather than resent me because my sons would always be telling their young wives how PERFECT their mother was. Ha Ha! We shall see if this tactic was successful!
I told Cameron (just 18) “I know you hate me getting on your case about this, but you know it is because I am desperate for you to become a gentleman rather than a caveman.” We don’t hold much hope that he will ever be able to NOT be a chaotic messy guy. But he is a loveable slob, which makes it tolerable. My heart aches for parents of teenagers who are dark and hateful and uncommunicative.
They are good boys on the cusp of independence and adulthood and yet still affectionate with obvious rough edges. We wish they were both more spiritually hungry, though both seem to genuinely worship at church, and don’t give push back to family discussions on spiritual issues or prayer.
But they are drawn to the world, and neither initiate talking about Jesus or spiritual things. This is my deepest sadness.
But they are drawn to the world, and neither initiate talking about Jesus or spiritual things. This is my deepest sadness.
12/26/2014
Reflections on 2014
#reflections
One of my best
adventures was…the week we found out rising Senior Cameron’s boarding
school in Mississippi was closing. Chamberlain-Hunt had been open since 1876,
and with 2 weeks to go before school started, there were no options available
for him where we were living in Malaysia. We found a new school in 8 days. He
was enrolled at The Kings Academy in Seymour, TN in less than 2 weeks.
I learned…How
to publish a book on Amazon and other self-publishing avenues (I haven’t yet,
but am well on my way in writing one). How to ship a dog and improved my
cognitive ability with Luminosity!
I saw/knew God was
doing something when I was healed from a chronic longtime illness. I’ve not taken medication for it since
September 2014. Then I prayed for a woman with a chronic illness at church and
she told me the next week that she had been healed. The following week one of
her friends/colleagues from work told me that everyone in the office had
noticed the healing. I had to do counseling for Chinese pastors’ wives…in
Chinese. I couldn’t understand what they were sharing, and yet the Holy Spirit
gave me the words of encouragement to say to them. A very introverted older
woman in church came to speak to me about God telling her to “come in from the
cold’ and “come out of the cold” it was time to heal her protected heart, and
she was to speak to me about it.
A memorable gift was the arts group
throwing a farewell party for me. Our welcome home party at Brett Place: filled
our cupboards and condo with food and furniture. Keith & Judith
Harrington’s downsizing provided some lovely furniture for our empty place!
Something I really
enjoyed doing more of was... writing
parodies to Disney songs. Gardening. Public speaking. Seeing my short term
memory improve by using Lumosity.
I intentionally wrote letters of memories and blessing
to those I was leaving behind in Singapore. Then did my best to meet personally
with them for a meal or for coffee before our departure in November. I didn’t
get to meet with everyone, but sure enjoyed the ones I did.
I was really brave when we made renovation
decisions for our place in California from the other side of the planet. We
wanted to enjoy the decision making process since we’d never, but it needed to
get done, so we had to put a lot of faith in our contractor friend and just get
it done, even if it wasn’t 100% what we’d have chosen had we more time and were
face to face with the options!
My thoughts/prayers
often turned to Syria, teaching the next Sacred Pathways lesson with women
in Singapore, friends who fought and faced serious problems.
A Scripture passage
that meant a lot to me was…”Give thanks in all circumstances.” 1 Thess 5.
And anything in Sarah Young’s JESUS CALLING devotional book.
The strangest thing
that happened this year: My right baby toe has TWO scars now! They are souvenirs from
being sliced 2 times in the same month by broken tiles in my bathroom at home.
Well, and then there was our renters saying they’d cleaned out the place, but
leaving stuff in cupboards, junk on the patio, socks and private items behind
in the dresser drawers, and a car in the parking space!
The best word of
advice or encouragement I can remember is…"Rejoice always, pray
without ceasing, give thanks continuously." 1 Thess 5
One of the happiest
memories of 2014 I’d like to freeze
in my mind…that our move to Malaysia for 2014 was confirmed over and over
to have been the right thing to do. Our involvement at IBCBI (International
Baptist Church Bukit Indah), and the Davis family who were planting the church,
was a sweet mutually encouraging season for two families needing each other.
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