A Season for feeling Charitable...Here's some education on how to best help

I've recently re-read a 12 page synopsis of the book, When Helping Hurts You can download it from this link to dropbox. 

As Americans, generosity has been a deeply seeded part of our worldview and giving to charity is a regular practice. 

Many of us do not have a criteria for how to sort out who to give to, and I've found this synopsis and article below a good place to start in learning about helping "the needy." Follow the links to read for yourself!

"How to Help Those in Need (Without Treating Them Like Beggars)"
Published by Christianity Today, November 2015

Online donations staff.crmleaders.org/creasman

Donation questions (in USA) 1(800) 777-6658 ext 122

You may sign up for  EFT, or designate on a check: "preferenced for Creasman-acct 5651”

TY's in Town

Best days are spent reunited with good ol' friends from exotic places.

Mexican Cruise Limericks

The day after Thanksgiving we enjoyed a week's cruise down the Mexican Riviera.

Every night at dinner I shared an original limerick that encapsulated our day.

Weird. I know. My friends humored me.

Day 1

We survived our Thanksgivings just fine,

Boarded Ruby Princess in time.

We've checked out the buffet,

Toured Lotus Spa where Matt stays.

And enjoyed Boticelli's to dine.

Day 2

While I have no report before noon

And dinner came way way too soon

It's our first formal night

Cigars and spas - ah, just right

Then the magic production "To Do."

Day 3

We started our day in Carribe.

We're so getting the hang of of this scene.

Mojitos by the pool.

All the afternoon through.

Fabi's "happiest day ever been!"

Day 4

When we docked in our very first Puerto,

To the playa we went w Rodrigo.

Six beach chairs in the shade.

Cervesa orders were made.

What a glorious beach: Sayulito

Day 5

Mazatlan is a tough word to rhyme .

Disembarking a waste of our time.

Creasmans stayed here all day.

Explored, Napped, read and played.

The best part: evening deck views with wine.

Day 6

Up early we tendered to Cabo,

The southernmost part of Mexi-co.

Lovers beach so ideal,

With the surf, sun ...and seals!

Now we've cleaned up for dinner and more shows.

Day 7

A day on the sea is a treat,

If the swells are not reaching 8 feet.

Fabi seasick & queasy.

Skipping meals was quite easy.

'Twas ok if we stayed off our feet.

Day 8

We awoke in the port of LA.

On the ship/@ the Creasmans we stayed.

Reluctant to end,

When enjoying good friends.

Let's have more adventures someday!

Thanksgiving Memories

On Thanksgiving this year, I sent this photo from a restaurant
to my boys in Virginia and Kuwait. 

My sons like to tease me about my cooking. They say things like:

"Your specialty is coffee...or water."

"You are the only person I know who can burn a frozen pizza."

I'm really not that terrible a cook, but I lack two important qualities of a skilled chef: interest and the ability to focus. So easily I get distracted in my multi-tasking. 

But, "necessity is the mother of invention," and living in Asia for years I managed to gain some Holiday Cooking Skills.

The BEST Thanksgivings were the years we had an Open House in Singapore. We'd get the word out to any expat "orphans." We invited Singaporean friends. They had grown up watching American TV shows depicting Thanksgiving, but they had never actually eaten sweet potatoes with brown sugar sauce. A large group always came willing to step in and be our surrogate extended family. 

Everyone brought something, so we always had enough to eat. It always seemed a bit miraculous how it worked out without any RSVPs. I cooked as much as my oven would bear of the traditional foods. Stuffing was always the favorite. 

One year, 2009 we had over 60 people come through our 1200sq foot apartment. The place was packed. We gathered around a table piled high with food, and my husband James welcomed everyone. He told of the initial Thanksgiving feast with the pilgrims. He read a few of the Thanksgiving proclamations made by previous American presidents. Everyone's mouths were watering as we smelled the foods beneath us as Jim said the prayer.

As soon as Jim said "AMEN," I had a terrible realization. I had neglected to make gravy. 

Our son Tyler, then sixteen, was apoplectic. "HOW CAN YOU FORGET THE GRAVY? THAT'S THE BEST PART!!???" 

I whipped some up pretty fast and we managed to not suffer without it. You can bet I'll never forget gravy again! 

My first Thanksgiving in China 1997, we had lived there for less than two months. I didn't have a stove or range to cook on. I didn't even have pots and pans! Still, It was Thanksgiving. I NEEDED to make some epicurean comfort.  The problem was that I was already in my 30's and married over ten years, but I had always avoided the kitchen.  What I lacked in experience and interest, I made up for in creativity and determination. We needed a break from our daily fair of local Chinese cafeteria foods. So, I set out to do it all. I was going to produce the Thanksgiving Feast.

(Besides, my parents were flying over from Los Angeles. And they were worried about how we were surviving life in mainland China.)

I found an electric oven the size of a breadbox. It had an erratic thermostat, yet I managed to bake pies and cornbread. I found a crockpot in a local department store and used it to make everything else. The potatoes, stuffing and sweet potatoes were cooked in that crock pot, layered with aluminum foil. 

We found a turkey for sale from the kitchen at the best hotel in town: THE HOLIDAY INN. We took that bird to a local pizza restaurant with a large brick oven. 

It all turned out quite edible! And for the happy grandparents who missed the kids so much, it didn't matter WHAT we ate! I was so proud of myself to get it all hot at the same time through unconventional methods. 

I survived those two years in China by thinking I was camping indoors; all the time. Thanksgiving '97 was one of the milestones.

Election Night 2016 in Chattanooga, TN

Cameron's Recycled Childhood - Work in Progress

Working like crazy 

to get this done before 

Parents Weekend when I'll see #2. 

I may be setting some kind of record 

for quilting outside of a sweatshop.

How Vulnerable are You?

Looking at the quadrant below, how vulnerable are you? With God? With key relationships? In groups you belong to? Where were you in your home as a child or key groups as a young adult? In order to experience rewarding community with others, we need to be willing to be both committed and vulnerable.

THE BEST QUOTE I HEARD THIS YEAR helps frame this: We can't have deep community with EVERYONE. When speaking about relationships at the Joyce Meyer conference this year, author/speaker Beth Moore said we need to aim for:

Authenticity with all.

Transparency with most.

Intimacy with some.

This is just a tool to help you identify a trend in your relationships. Ask the Lord for wisdom about how and with whom you should move toward more vulnerable and committed community.

You will find that in different relationships and in different seasons of your life you find you move degrees in different quadrants.

Not Vulnerable Not Committed	Committed Not Vulnerable (author’s example of her friendships who she didn’t let “in” to know her truly)
Vulnerable Not Committed (author’s example of being a speaker sharing her past secrets with strangers in her audiences)	Committed Vulnerable

"…it boils down to a decision to love others and allow yourself to be loved. Surrender requires risk.” - Anne Marie Miller, Lean on Me. p 49

"The people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging.” - Brené Brown

…the idea of surrendering or submitting to others in relationships is frightening and can be met with a tremendous amount of resistance. Do you find yourself hesitant when it comes to the idea of inviting another person into your life in such a vulnerable way?

I've learned to love what my husband loves...

How Emotionally Healthy are YOU?

As we began a read through of Lean on Me, Anne Marie Miller, my dear friend Lyn Woodruff did some searching/compiling this list for our study group. It's worth sharing. How Emotionally Healthy are YOU based on this list? 

Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence/Health and Spiritual Maturity

1. You have a robust emotional vocabulary.  Ps. 139:23-24; Rom. 8:26

All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36

percent of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices

and counterproductive actions.

People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so.

While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling "bad," emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel

"irritable," "frustrated," "downtrodden," or "anxious." The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you

are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

2. You’re curious about people. 1Pet. 3:8; Rom. 12:15; 1John 3:17; Heb. 4:15

It doesn't matter if they're introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity

is the product of EMPATHY, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what

they're going through, the more curiosity you're going to have about them.

3. You embrace change.  Eccles. 3:1-8; 2 Cor. 5:17; Eph. 4:22-24; Isa. 43:18-19

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to

their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these

changes occur.

4. You know your strengths and weaknesses. 2 Cor.12:5-7

Emotionally intelligent people don't just understand emotions; they know what they're good at and what they're terrible at. They also know

who pushes their buttons and the environments (both situations and people) that enable them to succeed. Having a high EQ means you

know your strengths and how to lean into and use them to your full advantage while keeping your weaknesses from holding you back.

5. You’re a good judge of character. John 7:24; 1 John 4: 1-6; Proverbs

Much of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness; the ability to read other people, know what they're about, and understand

what they're going through. Over time, this skill makes you an exceptional judge of character. People are no mystery to you. You know

what they're all about and understand their motivations, even those that lie hidden beneath the surface.

6. You are difficult to offend. Eccles. 7:21-22; Prov. 11:12; Col. 3:13

If you have a firm grasp of who you are, it's difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people

are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin. You may even poke fun at yourself or let other people make jokes

about you because you are able to mentally draw the line between humor and degradation.

7. You know how to say no (to yourself and others). Gal. 5:22-23

Emotional intelligence means knowing how to exert self-control. You delay gratification and avoid impulsive action. Research conducted at

the University of California, San Francisco, shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience

stress, burnout, and even depression. Saying no is a major self-control challenge for many people, but "No" is a powerful word that you

should unafraid to wield. When it's time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases such as "I don't think I can" or "I'm not

certain." Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

8. You let go of mistakes. Heb. 8:12; Phil. 3: 13-14; Ps. 51:10

Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a

safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success. It takes refined self-awareness to walk

this tightrope between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting

about them completely makes you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures into nuggets of

improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall down.

9. You give and expect nothing in return. Lk. 6:35

When someone gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, this leaves a powerful impression. For example,

you might have an interesting conversation with someone about a book, and when you see them again a month later, you show up with the

book in hand. Emotionally intelligent people build strong relationships because they are constantly thinking about others.

10. You don't hold grudges. Eph. 4:31-32; Mt. 6:14-15

The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body

into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. When the

threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on

your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto

stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you're holding onto stress, and emotionally

intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your

health.

11. You neutralize toxic people. Zech. 8:16-17

Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. But high-EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by

keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own

emotions and don't allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person's standpoint and are able to find

solutions and common ground. Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a

grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.

12. You don't seek perfection. Rom. 3:23

Emotionally intelligent people won't set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn't exist. Human beings, by our very nature,

are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you're always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your

effort. You end up spending time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and should have done differently instead of moving forward,

excited about what you've achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.

13. You appreciate what you have. 1 Thess. 5:18; Jas. 1:17

Taking time to contemplate what you're grateful for isn't merely the right thing to do; it also improves your mood by reducing the stress

hormone cortisol (in some cases by 23 percent). Research conducted at the University of California, Davis, found that people who work

daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experience improved mood,energy, and physical well-being. It's likely that lower levels of cortisol

play a major role in this.

14. You disconnect. Mt. 11:28-30; Ps. 46:10

Taking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps you to keep your stress under control and to live in the moment.

When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors. Forcing yourself offline and

even--gulp!--turning off your phone gives your body and mind a break. Studies have shown that something as simple as an email break can

lower stress levels. Technology enables constant communication and the expectation that you should be available 24/7. It is extremely

difficult to enjoy a stress-free moment outside of work when an email with the power to bring your thinking (read: stressing) back to work

can drop onto your phone at any moment

15. You limit your caffeine intake.  Gal. 5:22-23

Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, which is the primary source of a fight-or-flight response. The

fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasing

you, but not so great when you're responding to a curt email. When caffeine puts your brain and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress,

your emotions overrun your behavior. Caffeine's long half-life ensures you stay this way as it takes its sweet time working its way out of

your body. High-EQ individuals know that caffeine is trouble, and they don't let it get the better of them.

16. You get enough sleep. Ps. 23:2; Lam. 3:23; Mk. 2:27

It's difficult to overstate the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep,

your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day's memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams) so that you wake

up alert and clearheaded. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when they don't get

enough--or the right kind--of sleep. So, they make sleep a top priority.

17. You stop negative self-talk in its tracks. Rom. 12: 1-2; 2 Cor. 10:5; Phil. 4:8

The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that--thoughts, not

facts. When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain's natural tendency to perceive threats (inflating the

frequency or severity of an event). Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts in order to escape the cycle of

negativity and move toward a positive, new outlook.

18. You won't let anyone limit your joy. Rom. 12:3; 1 Pet. 5:8

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own

happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something they've done, they won't let anyone's opinions or snide remarks

take that away from them. While it's impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think, you don't have to compare yourself to

others, and you can always take people's opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your

self-worth comes from within.

http://www.inc.com/travis-bradberry/are-you-emotionally-intelligent-here-s-how-to-know-for-sure.html

A Mother's Day Letter for Tyler & Cameron too

Son, I have been most proud  of you this year for the way you have

become more tender toward those you care about; including the Lord.

As a warrior and a gentleman, my prayer for you is that you will

continue to learn from Him and your mentors, how to be a godly Soldier;

how to be genuine in your surrender to the Lord when your learning to

never surrender to your enemy. That you will learn to be as “on guard”

against the schemes of your unseen enemy as you are learning to be

against the seen.

So much love for you,

On Sunday for Mother’s Day worship services for The River Church, at the Beach and Norris in Palos Verdes, I’m going to be doing a monologue that I wrote in 1993 for someone else to perform at Easter that year. I wrote it when you were 6 weeks old and I was discovering what motherhood was all about. These many years later I have the opportunity to perform it myself. Fitting to do it now after having seen you survive the suffering of Ranger School this year, and that you are in a career where you willingly put yourself in harm’s way.

Being your mom has inspired this monologue:

He was my firstborn. 

With him I experienced the first time for a lot of things...the first to feel move inside of me, the first to nurse at my breast...the first sweet baby to fall asleep in my arms. Even if he hadn't been conceived of the Holy Spirit, he would have been special.

When I looked into his face as a man, I could not help seeing him at all his stages – that sleeping baby, the playful and happy child, or that adolescent who seemed to blossom overnight from a smooth skinned boy into a muscular man. These are things that mothers cherish in their hearts.

We did the best we could in raising him. It was often awkward, knowing who he was. I mean, think about it.
Imagine us, teaching him to pray. “Okay, little Ye'shua, (creator of the Universe) come here. Let’s pray before
bedtime... Yes, to your Father …yes the one in heaven... Yes to your true father! Achh.” You see? 

Sometimes...most times...I felt so inadequate. And exhausted. But even though I fumbled around, a lot, Yahweh gave me peace that I was doing it right. Because I was doing my best.
It was hard not to continue mothering him after his ministry began. I even spent time traveling with his group of disciples. To see him endure those exhausting days when the multitudes would give him no rest made me anxious for his health. I had to see that he ate right...What can I say? I'm a Jewish mother. 

I feared for his safety when I heard that our leaders were not accepting him as the Messiah. I worried when things sometimes got dangerous. I started hearing the rumors that they wanted to take his life.
And then they did....I saw it. Every mocking word. Every grimace. Every painful heaving breath. Until there were no more…. I had known. All along,...deep in my heart, I had known that something like this might happen. He had tried to warn me and I had tried to be prepared for the worst. But how could any mother prepare for the death of her dear baby? 

How could I believe that this was God's plan? I'm the one who gave him life! 

But through his death, I am now a woman he has died for. He becomes the one who gives me life. Eternal life.
We think our children belong to us; but they don’t. They are gifts loaned from the Father in Heaven to take care of, and nurture, and love, for the time he ordains. So Mothers…Our Father God also gave YOU to your child, your children.  

Women, the children you influence. In all your perfect imperfection, you are a blessing to those children.
As you guide them to whatever their destinies are, let Yahweh give YOU peace that you too are doing it right,
because you also are doing your best.

 AND for Cameron...

I know you probably don’t like it that I love talking about you so much. But when I meet people, they want to know if I have kids and what they are like. 

I love telling the story of the miracle of how you came to be my son. How you and Tyler wore matching outfits so Chinese people would “get it” that you were brothers, and that telling about your adoption was such a great way to introduce them to the Gospel that we can be adopted into God’s forever family. That you’ve been the family’s “Love

Glue.”

Sometimes, if it’s someone frustrated with raising a teenager, I tell them that you were a knucklehead in Junior High School and came out of adolescence a wonderful guy. Really.

Everyone who knows you adores you. Even some of my new friends here in the South Bay. Last week one lady was saying, “I really can’t wait to meet Cameron. He seems like such a great kid!”

You are so positive and encouraging. I’m so eager to work

together this summer with you as my “trainer” and getting more

fit with dad at the gym. This is the summer you will learn to drive. You

will be getting your first paycheck that swallows up some of your earnings for tax and social security… What else awaits this long

summer break ahead? 

I FINALLY had a great inspiration yesterday for a design for your memory quilt and am going to borrow Grammy Sue’s sewing machine. So you’ll have to put up with me sewing while we watch movies and catch up on “Bates Motel” this summer.

Thank you for being so forgiving too, for the times I hurt or embarrassed you when you were a teenager and I was so frustrated with you. I can’t imagine you ever talking badly about others… you are so full of grace.

I love you so much Cameron, and can’t imagine my life happy without you.

You just keep getting better and better. God who oversaw your start, who chose to make you a person to inhabit this planet, sure made a winner when he made you!

Mother's Day Letter Tradition

Though this letter is so personal, I dared to post it up here because it's been so meaningful for her, that I want to encourage others to start this tradition. I'm grateful to be back in the USA after so many years in Asia in order to have this time with my folks. 

May 8, 2016

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!

Here is your third annual letter of random memories and tons of thanks! I’m so glad to have you

as my mom. This past year, since last Mother’s Day has probably been the year with more

accomplishments than any other year of our lives:

• Cameron’s High School Graduation in
• Tennessee
• Tyler’s College Graduation & ROTC
• Officer Commissioning at Cal Poly
• A party to send Cameron off to Liberty
• with blessings of his adult mentors –
• mostly your friends
• Our trip to Yosemite to celebrate your
• Anniversary
• Tyler’s Infantry Officer Graduation &
• RANGER School Graduation in
• Columbus Georgia

We’ve had sadness too in walking with

Howard through his last days, Kathy

Ramirez return of cancer, and trying from a

distance to support another family member as he had difficulty at Riverside Military and transitioning into a

suitable High School. And you continuing the journey of coping with your brain not cooperating.

You’ve always taken pride in that sharp mind, skilled planning and ability to organize. In these

recent years you’ve wrestled with losing those abilities and have been forced to find your

identity as a beloved child of God, a beloved wife and mother, a brave and gracious patient

with a sassy sense of humor. You keep surrendering to this new normal -- no matter what you

can and can no longer do. You have been so brave.

These last few weeks we’ve been organizing your closets filled with the fruits of one of your

favorite hobbies: clothes shopping. It’s been fun for me to see all the clothes you have! It’s like

going to a clothing shop. While we purge out what is clearly too large for your thinner body, and

put matching outfits of separates together, I’m reminded again of growing up and having a

mom who was always more fashionable than I was. The strange thing is, what stands out in my

mind as an example of that is that you had some Van’s slip-on jungle print tennis shoes before

anyone knew of the new slip-on design!

You are not the Anne Taylor/Talbots kind of conservative professional. You were not even LL

Bean or Patagonia sporty -- wearing collared blouses and slacks and looking like everyone

else. When you weren’t in your PE teacher uniform, your clothes were trendy and feminine! I

think this recent era lace, crochet and peasant layers has been your favorite. That’s the time

when it dawned on me: for all your praise of my creativity, I got my “artsy” from you!

You may not have owned up to the fact that you were a creative, but you were. In your cooking

and sewing and decorating and favorite musicians you were creative. They were always ones

you could easily sing along to. Your creativity was so evident.

You learned how to play guitar and would have me sing with you at the Gamble/Ralls

Christmas Eve gathering. Alfred Burt carols have always been my favorites since you taught

them to me back then.

Long years ago on a deep winter’s night
High in the heavens a star shown bright
While in a manger a wee baby lay
Sweetly asleep on a bed of hay…

You may not have been into pop music or wanted us to go to school dances (we were good

Baptists) but FOLK DANCING was okay. You loved teaching folk dancing as part of your PE

curriculum. The Filipino dance with the bamboo poles “tininkling,” square dancing… and of

course drill team routines.

You’ve been a good balance of organized/controlled with fun loving/free. Well, maybe more on

the controlled side. But as I reflect on life growing up with you as a mom, and have read and

learned of what childhood was like for others, you were AMAZING! You kept our daily life and

family calendar organized and humming along with rarely a sense of hurry or stress (oh how I

remember your long packing lists for Camping, or planning lists for prepping a party!) YET you

were not frantic or crabby by the challenges of family life in the fast lane. You’ve laughed and

enjoyed life and took time to watch a bit of TV, bake, sew, and be the scorekeeper at little

league games (BTW: If you had raised me in this era, you would have known by my inability to

learn to keep score at those games that I was ADD. You tried to get me to do it, but I could

NEVER stay focused enough to not miss all those details of hits, runs & errors! You, however,

saw and remembered EVERY play!)

That’s why I know this season of your brain not working well has to be especially frustrating,

and I grieve with you this gradual loss you have been living with. What I admire so much about

you right now is that while I’m sure you have your times of sorrow, you are choosing to stay

cheerful, loving and keep your sense of humor. I see you choosing to focus on gratitude for

what you do have: lots of love, respect and affection from your family and the many people you

have invested in over the years; PLUS the security of knowing your true identity in Jesus

Christ, and how dear you are to our Heavenly Father who has promised his care and provision.

You are my hero Mom. You always will be.

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.