I need to persevere in prayer!
We need to keep asking others for prayer as well!
This week I've had an especially strong sense of this.
That realization of our need for Divine protection, and how the prayers of others give us some kind of stronger "covering" or protection.
Surely every believer is dependent on God and need the prayers of others; but being in vocational cross cultural ministry, I think we are especially targeted by the Enemy. He's not happy about our life choices, our wholehearted submission to Christ, or that God is blessing our efforts.
I know I'm preaching to the choir, but it's not enough to be abiding in Christ, and develop spiritual disciplines, and on our own be asking for his power and protection. We need each other!
Perhaps I've sensed this recently because we've been reporting to our supporters how great things are going this year. Maybe they've relaxed in their intercession for us, thinking, "Thank you God that you've brought them through those hard times of adjustment..." We've convinced them that we're not suffering in Singapore, God is blessing the work and "enlarging our territory," and yet...
Yesterday afternoon, we attended a disheartening time meeting the Tampines Cell Group from our church (the first meal with anyone from our church after attending for 10 months). I spent the time at this lunch constantly asking God to give me his love for the other people in the room. In my flesh I was tired of initiating in conversations and meeting for the x-thousandth time timid-yet-proud people; feeling like an alien under slilent scrutiny, bored, critical; and even angry with the other children. They were deliberately ignoring Tyler and Cameron. One boy Tyler's age rebuffed every effort Ty made to initate conversation or play (at one point, all the children got up and walked out of the room when Tyler asked them what they wanted to do). I know this sounds pitiful, but I spent part of the afternoon hiding out in the kitchen/laundry room, wondering how Jim could be so great at mingling, while watching the rain fall out the 11th storey window and holding back the tears. Me. The extrovert. Not anymore.
Jim drove us back to Tampines in order to see a matinee of Spiderman (which we loved and I'm sure was written by Christians), and before parking, we were in another car accident (the 3rd one in less than 2 years, and the second one in the car we purchased 6 months ago). As I opened my door to get out at the curb, two people on a motorcyle were trying to whiz past in the small amount of space between our car and the curb! They ran into the edge of my door, seconds away from hitting me (or Cameron, if he had "hopped out" right when I asked him to). I was so panicked that the motorcyclist was injured, not thinking first of fault, just sick at the thought of how in an instant life can change. I found myself thinking, "And I haven't even made it in to report the last accident yet, let alone paid the attorney $1500 for the damages to the other parties car." "Wasn't I just yesterday telling Jim how scared I am driving with all the motorcyclists zipping around on these roads?"
And then I was suprised by the overwhelming compulsion in my heart:
"I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! I just want to GO BACK TO AMERICA where these kinds of things don't happen with such regularity!!!"
The young man must have thought it was his fault because his knee was obviously in pain, his bike had some damage, and our car obviously will need repair but he didn't want to file a report, or go to the hospital, or even give us his name. We called the police and they just told us to report it to our insurance. The Honda repair guy and I are already on a first name basis after being in for repairs for wrecks and other kinds of freak damage 3 times in 5 months already, so boy is he going to be suprised to see me again.
The enemy was at me yesterday in obvious ways: Rehearsing in my mind what seems like an extraordinarily unusual amount of accidents, mishaps, stolen bikes (and stolen other things...), broken appliances (etc.), sicknesses (that we can't seem to get over), even just a spirit of clumsiness: daily spilling and dropping and breaking things at home... How easy it is to entertain what feels like a justifiable pity party!
But I listened this time to the Holy Spirit and chose to honour God by thanking him, remembering a thankful heart can help us be resistant to discouragement, negative thinking,and cynicism. I realized in amazement how God protected us. How close we came to getting hit by that bike. I was reaching for the handle of the car door to get out 3 seconds before, and decided to turn back to the kids to say something first...
How very thankful I am for that obvious act of protection, and all the other times he protects us unknowingly.
How thankful that so far, inattentiveness or clumsiness results only in breaking a small thing like a new vase before it's out of the wrapping from IKEA, and not a broken back, or worse. The enemy wants me to be fearful, seeing danger everywhere (a new sensation for me), when God wants me to find courage through him, and trust in his protection. And he wants us to thankfully recognize his sovereignty in all things so that when he allows pain, we know it is only his divine joy that will give us strength and joy to not be defeated.
Amen?
Fondly,
Kimberly
