Last days of Labour - thoughts on the airplane

Labour. Some births are short and relatively easy, some are long and complicated.
At the beginning it’s motivating to push on through
Cause you know in the end there’s almost always the reward.

hatched.
Originally uploaded by Ella Minnow Peas

My labour with Tyler was 21 hours.
I always think of that on this flight which is the same.
At the end of this 21 hours of air travel, we’ll be seeing family again.
That's a SHORT labour.

We've just been through a longer labour.
We sometimes thought it would never end.

Weeks of sorting 10 years in Asia:
what to take,
what to store,
what to loan,
what to give,
what to throw
We’ve finally left an empty apartment behind.
One last look at the night time skyline of Singapore from the 23rd floor.
And all the keys are left behind
Hidden in a green Ikea cup, on the second shelf of a shoe rack.
The new owner, currently living 3 floors down, wasn’t home.

Small and large heartaches, losses, and joys have packed this last month so full that I often felt like the faucet of life was on full strength and the container of my heart was overflowing the brim by the gallons.
How earnest we were to make sure we all finished well these first 10 years of life in Asia. I'm really praying the 'baby' at the end of this labour is worth all the gray hairs I've sprouted this past month.

Leaving gives excuse for otherwise unsaid words of memories or affirmation.

• Mulitple sleepovers for the children.
• A photo catalog online for our friends to peruse and claim at an Open House. Buy or borrow it. (Somehow farming out my possessions gives my heart more connection to our hard earned network of relationships than if everything went to storage)
• A sweet dinner gathering of artists who follow Jesus.
• A BBQ with Jim’s CRMS colleagues.
• A phone and inbox full of sweet goodbye messages.
• Watching “24” in our hotel room with a friend (on the computer because the tv screen in the ‘family suite’ was ‘so tiny’)
• friends who treated the boys to see Fantatstic Four on opening day, our final day.
• A glorious massage with a new sweet friend in an exquisite spa.
• A final meal hawker dinner of Singaporean foods with two dear young couples who’ve become like family as we have shared in their weddings and heartaches, productions, holidays and travel.


These are the memories I want to cherish.

In time we’ll forget the people who signed up to borrow or buy things who didn’t in the end.
Like the night before the movers came, the last person came at 11:30pm only to decide to not take items she’d claimed,
and to bargain with us over a desk.
Would we take $12 instead of $20?
(Jim said of all the events this past month, this was the most personally challenging.)

In time I’ll not recall that I realized Cameron has missed 5 childhood vaccinations and we’d better do it here, where it’s cheap and I know were to go. In the midst of moving this meant multiple trips to the doctor or polyclinic to challenge his immujne system with “jabs” of measles mumps rhubella polio diptheria typhoid and tuberculosis (And dear Lord help me forget that his sniffling and sneezing wasn’t dust allergies from packing, as I told the doctor, but he indeed did have a head cold, which meant a high fever as he battled his flu with the rest of the diseases we’d injected him with).


In time we’ll not feel the shock and pain of losing our sweet little dog Rascal
who died unexpectedly, 6 days before we left, while getting his teeth cleaned.
A simple procedure under anethesia to prepare him for his year’s stint with the Foo Family.

In time we’ll forget the heart searing panic our helper Loonni had in hearing that her son wasn’t attending school in Thailand. And that he was intending to become a buddhist monk before her return in only 3 weeks. Her initial days of despondency and her urgent need to get on the next plane out of Singapore. In time, perhaps we'll all only remember that God gave wisdom, good advisors, and peace for her to stay until the date of her purchased air ticket, and that she had good closure to her life in Singapore. Perhaps in time, we’ll hear that this boy, and the rest of her extended family, have entrusted their lives the the Saviour that she found while working for us.


In time, I’ll forget that the plans to have our last day together sending to Loonni at the airport then enjoying together the things we love was spoiled by my accepting a lunch ‘treat’ from a friend who didn’t know how to meet me at one of the most well known and central locations in the city. Instead she said, “I’ll call you at 11:05 and pick you up wherever you are.” (how about that popular place I just suggested?) These circumstances then filled my last day with 2 hours waiting and crossing town by train to meet her, only to hear her say when she finally found me: “If I didn’t love you so much. I’d have turned around and gone home.” I took her arm and said, “We both have had a frustrating morning. Let’s go have some lunch and redeem it.”

In time we’ll forget the panic of realizing that some things we needed to take with us were packed by the movers and put in storage (receipts, documents, the pile of info regarding life in CA). ARGH!!! But there was in the very end, the relief that the important 'starhub' cable equipment we needed to return, was at our friends the Webb's house and not in a storage box afterall.

We'll forget the bad and cherish the good memories. Just like it was in having a baby.

A Devotional for our Departure:

God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and …sacrifice him as a burnt offering….". Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!...Do not lay a hand on the boy," Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. Genesis 22:1-18 (NIV)

This passage currently hangs on our refrigerator to encourage our domestic helper who, like so many others, works abroad to support her family. Recently she learned that her 14 year old only son had dropped out of school, and in his sense of a hopeless future, told her he intends to become a Buddhist monk. We’re only one week away from leaving Singapore for a year in US, and she’s headed back to Thailand to help him in his schooling, if only he’ll wait to make this drastic decision.

Today, amidst the packing and preparing, we took our sweet little dog to the vet for a simple dental procedure to make sure he was healthy for the family who will care for him while we’re away. My son signed the waiver for anesthesia without a worry and we looked forward to picking up our groggy pet later in the day. Little did we know that this puppy who brought so much joy to our family since our lonely years in Singapore, would stop breathing during the procedure and never wake up. Crying with the children tonight I wonder how many families around the world are grappling with deeper grief? How many have heard a doctor say, “I’m so sorry, we did everything we could to revive him.” How many have held a lifeless body and prayed that the God who raised Jesus from the dead, would do this small thing and bring a loved one back to life again?

In times of unexpected loss or hardship we often ask: How can a loving God let bad things happen?

But in the middle of the night he reminds me that for Jesus, there was no surprise of an ease into sleep while under anethesia. For Jesus, there was no possiblity of another way out of poverty through education. For Jesus, there was no Angel of the Lord to stay the execution and provide an alternative innocent lamb as a substitute sacrifice.

He was the lamb.

Out of his unimaginable goodness, courage, and great love for us, the God of Abraham knew the outcome of his incarnation and he still took each step toward his shameful and agonizing, torturous death. He did that to redeem us and give a hope of an “all things new” future where there is no poverty, sickness, death or deep unexpected sadness.

How could God be good and allow suffering? Indeed. It is the wrong question.


In what ways have you wrestled with God’s goodness in the face of loss or disappointment?

Do you have any hidden bitterness toward the Lord over unresolved grief?

Take a moment to thank our Lord for knowingly and willingly taking on his suffering to redeem you from yours.


PHOTO: Sacrifice of Isaac, Rembrandt at the Hermitage Museum

LIfe on the Brink of an International Move

It's really hard to imagine that no matter what chaotic craziness is going on right now, we will be on a plane a week from Friday morning. My theme song this year is Carrie Underwood's: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL. It is being realized everyday.

In confirming with the movers, they asked me the other morning,

"And, do you know yet WHERE will we take these boxes for storage?"

I said, "I don't know yet."

"Wow." he said, "That's less than 2 weeks from now."

I told him that the Lord had it under control (but my faith was starting to waver from the tone of his voice).

Storage here is tricky: it's humid, so mold is a problem on anything natural material.
And space is a premium*, so it's costly...and often full.

(*Singapore has 6 times more people per sq mile than Los Angeles County - the most populous county in USA!)

I prayed as I hung up the phone, "Am I being irresponsible to trust you in this area? We've felt like you are asking us to do this move and will provide, so help me not to worry. Guide us and open doors for us in your timing."

He did. He has taken the wheel. At noon Jim got a call from someone here who wants to bless us by offering free storage space. That's a big answer that is easily fixed by a friend with a warehouse.


In all of this we're trying to have good goodbyes, because even though we plan to come back, one never knows who will still be here. For the children, some of their friends at the international school may have moved on by the time we get back, so they had one last big sleepover as a goodbye.

Cameron's was last weekend with 10 boys. Tyler's was Thursday. One last time for them to play the 21st century version of the boys game - Cops and Robbers: "Counter Terrorism." This 2 story apartment with a circular staircase is an awesome venue for nerf guns and setting up a security camera to spy on the other team. School was out for summer last Wednesday, so you can imagine what the week is like. Oh, yes. And in the midst of all this I've learned that Cameron doesn't have all his vaccinations! (Oops) We also went for a special Tuberculosis skin tests required for California schools. Just a few more details to navigate in the next 10 days. And glad to do it hear for a few dollars rather than navigate it in USA! Yeah for Singapore health care! Jesus take the wheel!

We had the first of 4 open houses Saturday. Farming out some items to friends, and doing the old "garage sale" thing too. We really don't like doing the selling part, but it is a good way to get to see more people before we leave. Gotta keep that in perspective when people start 'nickel and diming' me over something I'm a little reluctant to part with in the first place.

But plans for life in USA are taking shape. Tyler is signed up for an FCA football camp at UCSB the first week of July! He's excited (And so are we: football...or any sports is what this kid needs to humble and build character!). The golden boy was just was notified that he has "highest honors at entrance" for 9th grade at Maranatha High School in Pasadena. He's handling the transition well. Sweet 10 year old Cameron however is crying everyday about leaving his friends and parting with beloved toys and the unknown future for him in California. We're still praying for direction about school for him and his summer activities. These are small issues (even if it seems big to Cameron and I must not minimize it for him).

Right now there are other issues not as easily solved. Our helper Loonni has also been crying everyday. She recv'd news 2 weeks ago, the day after our return from China, the day we were kicking it into 'high gear' for the move, that her 13 year old son (in Thailand) had not attended the first 3 weeks of the school year there. He failed his exams last year and is being asked to repeat a grade. As is typical in her culture, she's been working abroad for 5 years to send money back to support the family. There is no dad in this boys life. She was panicked because of the hardened tone in her son's voice. He'd told her he was going to join a buddhist monastery. He's given up. He feels his only hope is to be a monk. And he wasn't going to wait for her to return in 2 weeks. He was going to do it over the weekend. Our cheerful Loonni was despondent over this...as any mother would be!


Our packing, sorting, tying up ministry stuff and goodbyes etc came to a halt as we helped her navigate this with loads of talking and praying, international directory assistance, long distance phone calls to the school and her family (only one person in her village has a phone!). In the end he's agreed to not commit himself to the monastery and will go back to school when she comes back (her non-refundable air ticket is for June 14th).

In all of this, Loonni is starting to realize that she will probably have to stay in Thailand for good. This means that she'll not return to work with us in a year (which she does like millions of others do to support the family financially). This realization feels to her like a death sentence of poverty, loneliness, and backbreaking work (if you recall, we've been to her village, so we know a little of what she's in for). Not to mention that she's the only Christian for miles (in a region of people living in fear of evil spirits and following Buddhism). This past weekend, with loads of people praying for her here, she got advice at her Thai church to not return immediately but to stay with us until the scheduled flight. We're having her call home everyday. It's an emotional rollercoaster for her. This is the sobering backdrop to any of my stresses or sadness about leaving, or uncertainty about this next year for me.

That contrast for me is not the only thing that gives me perspective. We have long time missionary friends with boys Tyler and Cameron's ages, the Saucys who packed up and left Ukraine 3 months ago. In less than a month start to finish they were all back in California because they'd discovered that cancer has returned for Bonnie. We've been planning our move for more than a year. This wonderful family is now back in USA trusting God for bigger things than where to store their stuff and which school the children will attend. It is amazing to read their emails filled with courage and confidence that "God is able to supply all their needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus."

This has been a year of prayer for me. I feel like I'm only just beginning to grasp some of the power we have through faith to "move mountains." I'm learning a reality of our strength in Jesus over the Enemy when he schemes to find where we're weak and is bringing on the full assault in that area. For me one of those areas is self-reliance. I'm seeing how in ceasing to strive (if I start to feel overwhelmed, I used to work harder, now I just stop and lay on my bed and cry out to God). He has been showing me that he will supply greater capacity whether we're needing to cut back or ramp up. He has taken the wheel when life needs to be simplified (like last year with the neck injury), or juggled because of an overflowing season of life in transition. He is filling me with compassion and resources to live beyond myself as I abide in him.

How do people live without Jesus?

Ten 10 year old boys

Cameron had a sleepover with his classmates last Friday. A chance to have one last Hurrah with pals he's already in tears over missing when we go back to USA for a year. Observing them all I always find it so interesting to see their different personalities. I've decided to give them new names.

GUEST LIST of 10 year old boys (new names)

Has anyone seem my...
Mr "I always have a better idea"
Don't you have more sodas? I don't drink water
If I talk louder everyone will listen to me
Let's just get along
At my house we can.
(the quiet boy)
(the yeller)
(the follower)
and the one i like the most: Mr. "thank you mrs. creasman"

Moving Sale/Open Houses

My Labour Day was spent with Jim sorting stuff. Click on the badge at right, to checkout my flickr site with 2 new sets: TO SELL, and WHO WANTS TO BORROW? (see, we are planning to come back!). You can claim the item by posting a comment on the photo with your name.

Then come pick up whatever you've claimed on flickr at one of our open houses in June!

Sat. June 2 1:30-6 (whoever's here, let's order pizza!)
Sat. June 9 10:30-4 (then we go to Wild Wild Wet or Jurong Water Park to cool off!)
Sun June 10 2-6PM

Monday June 11 can also come after 6PM (for pick ups). Tuesday the 12th we'll check in a hotel for our last 3 days.

Update on Concert Friday

alabaster jar 2 at the Arts House friday night was an amazing night. very relaxed. PACKED house (seats all full and 40 people sat in the aisles and on the floor!). good music. the presence of God was palpable. it was everything and more that we hoped it would be (except for hearing that the box office turned some people away).

For the record, I've posted what I said to intro the songs. It's my Playden Playlist.


I'll post more pictures laster, but we had a dry run on some of the songs the week before. Here we are April 20th at Esplanade Library, The Arts Cafe.

FYI: Wanting to be on the up and up for this gig, we got a PERMIT from COMPASS to sing these copywrited songs. Permit no: 0704552. Did you know that technically evertime a song is played or sung publically it needs to have a permit to do it? Drag. The minimum fee for a ticketed event – no matter how small is $150! (for us that is about 10% of gross ticket sales!) Differing venues have different rates. This year there are only 2 venues in Singapore with annual permits that cover any performance going on there (Victoria Concert Hall and DBS Auditorium). Yikes. Did you know that the fines can be up to $10,000 per song? Ouch.Check out the link to read more of the bad news for amateurs who want to be honest.

Jim's 50th

I raided my husbands computer and sent out an email to some of those he had mailing lists for. We've been traveling and our schedules oh so full so there won't be a party until we combine it with a goodbye party next month when we're preparing to leave Singapore for a year. The greetings continue to trickle in, but I printed out 28 pages for his birthday! He's well loved. I'm a fortuante gal.

What a wonderful exercize to find out some things that might only otherwise come out at a MEMORIAL SERVICE. I'd recommend it to anyone who's trying to make someone feel special on a big birthday. Solicit comments from friends for the birthday of someone you love. Then collate the responses and show them to the kids!

It adds a whole new dimension of your respect and admiration for them!

Mostly Normal, well at lease not psycho Parents

here's a NEW tactic i tried today:
i forced someone to memorize a verse while I was with her today.
she said she couldn't memorize. i showed her how. I picked one that she needed to make a part of her spiritual armour to beat off all the firey darts of negative self-talk and constant criticisms of her mother. (Zephaniah 3:17)
it was pretty sweet for her. a few tears. she got it down and was able to repeat it to others as they joined us for lunch and when we were saying goodbye again too.
Seems like i'm crying a lot with people these days. The tough old nut has cracked.

everyday I spend time with people getting to know them and praying with them i am SOOOOO thankful for loving, encouraging, supportive parents who are not psycho.
seems like everyone is screwed up from their folks.
thank you mom and dad for being (mostly) normal.

(photo is from your visit to singapore 12. 2000)

Remembering Shirley Klein

Shirley Klein moved to heaven this past month.
I'm going to miss her.
This is my favourite photo taken with her and
some Yaminahua children in Ecuador, 1988.

1988 Equador
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

Thanks Stephanie for My Birthday Flowers!

Thanks Stephanie for my Birthday Flowers!
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

blooming at 45...

WARNING, Jenny Joseph

Have you ever read this famous poem? I came across it today in my files...

With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.


NOTE from me: I have started a few years back. It's rather freeing to be a little nuts and not care what others think about you. I think purple is one of God's favourite colours.

A Miracle

First Family Photo
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

It's such a joy to raise a child. I filled out the application for him to attend Maranatha High Schoolnext year. Here's what I wrote about him:

Tyler is most excited about the possiblity of playing football next year. Currently he is playing U16 basketball. He has an incredible memory which he has put to use in both classical guitar, theatre and language. (eg. search YouTube under “Singlish Security Lecture”). He is fluent in Chinese and excels in Art. He has an authentic relationship with the Lord. When choosing research topics, he always writes about the US Military and it’s history. He was a Class Monitor and Prefect in Elementary School (faculty appointed school leadership positions) and is on the Honor Roll at ICS. Tyler is an INTJ on the Meyers-Briggs and a high D on the DISC. He doesn’t understand what peer pressure is! Until 2005 he was the only caucasion in his schools of 1000 and he has seen being an outsider as an asset rather than liability. I expect that as a TCK, his year at Maranatha will be where he has to grapple with the feelings of being an outsider more than ever. In his last 1 ½ years at ICS, he has really grown in his character formation and maturity. He is adding kindness and sensitivity to his strong confidence and independence.

Time for Reflection

This year I learned to..
In walking with God, I grew most in…
Another way I saw myself growing was…
One of my best adventures was…
I saw/knew God was doing something when…
A real gift from God was…
Something I really enjoyed doing more of was…
One of the happiest memories I’d like to freeze in my mind…
I was really brave when…
Something God took from me this year was…
I’m still trying to learn what God wants to teach me through this hard experience…
The best word of advice or encouragement I can remember is…
Something I’m looking forward to in this new year…

Welcoming the New Year

What do we do on New Years?

We watched an old movie that covers the year in a life of a family living in St. Louis USA in 1905: MEET ME IN ST LOUIS. We stopped it at midnight to join Singapore in shouting and sparklers and watching the fireworks from the river. We have a great view from the balcony of the apartment where we live now (23rd floor, near Mt. Faber, with a view toward town)

For the holiday, we're all reading the same 2 chapters of Proverbs a day.

We agreed to do it first thing before we got on to other things we're itching to do.

Things like playing on an Xbox360. The boys received one as a gift from grandma and our houseguests, Sally & Franklin, a young Singaporean couple who live in Shanghai. They come stay with us when they're back in Singapore.

I crack open a new journal and get writing what I'm thankful for or what I've learned in the past year. I get really reflective this time of year. I've sent a few sms' to my dear friend Liu Yi Yan in Kunming, China...and I'm missing good friends and family in USA. Do you know this is our 10th year living in Asia? That's why we're going to spend a year in USA starting June. The boys don't know what it is like to be American.

2006 was a slower year for me because of some back/neck problems. I had more time and opportunity to really feel DEPENDENT upon God, rather than just believing in and worshipping him by the way I live. In the way he cared for me in my mind and heart this year -- my soul -- I feel truly loved by him now; not just because "he died on the cross for me." I read a GREAT book this past year. Helps put modern understanding to our Ancient Faith. I've been recommending it to everyone: VELVET ELVIS, Repainting the Christian Faith, by Rob Bell. There's a link in the sidebar to Amazon. Order it! He has also done these short videos called NOOMA (you can watch some of them online). I've only seen a couple, but really liked LUMP and FLAME...

It's going to be a good year.

Christmas Week Collage...

"Playhouse Nativity" The Shepherds @ Grace Assembly in Singapore

"Playhouse Nativity" The Shepherds
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

Sunday the 24th. When I brought in 6 bags with 14 costumes for a spontaneous Pageant complete with Christmas Carols and Kings, these kids told me they'd never played 'dress up.' Well we had a good time and the kids were thrilled with their re-enactment of the story!

A Full Christmas Week of Friends

This is my 12th day pain free! The pain caused by my neck injury stopped the day after sending our last email (with a mention of it for prayer!) 2 nights ago I spent some time in prayer when I couldn't sleep - I woke up and the blues were gone and I had tons of energy.

This is an amazing end of the year compared to our lonely holiday years here. Our 6th holiday season here and usually we've practically nothing to do. It's always the time we miss California the most. December in the States was always full of parties and concerts, outreach and baking, family and friends. A few weeks ago, when one new friend Kay, invited us for a small gathering at their house on Christmas Eve. They are new here -and we talked a few weeks ago about how hard it is to settle here compared to the other "harder" fields they've lived.

How well we can relate! Jim was inspired, "How bout US throwing some parties this year?" So, thanks to evite, we are having a party for about 30 tonight - CRM Singapore colleagues and their families. Some are potential staff! We've been praying that there might be some Singaporeans who'd want to join Jim in ministry by next June - and there are already 3 guys who are ready to start the process of joining CRM and doing mentoring part or full time in January!

Friday evening is going to be a party for artists. I'm touched that they felt comfortable enough asking if they can host a party in our house. These younger single women are even coming here all day to cook a dinner for about 15. We expect more to come by after dinner for the fellowship and sharing. During the day a new friend Stephanie (a music teacher and her kids) are coming by to visit. Sweet. She had us over last weekend for dinner to get to know her family. I've loved the younger friends God has given me here, but there is something mutually beneficial for me to have some peers to learn from about walking through life. I was telling Su Ping (one of the 5 stars) about these new friends and she said, "It's about time."

Saturday Sally & Franklin, a Singaporean couple living in Shanghai, arrive and have asked to stay with us over their family for the holiday, and in the evening a pack of missionary families are coming over for a party.
For lunch another young Singaporean couple who are living in Beijing are coming for lunch. They are SO SWEET.

Sunday I get to do a special Christmas story-telling and teach Christmas Carols with about 35 kindergarteners - including dress up Bible costumes for them. I have felt awkward with the other teachers for the past 2 years of my helping once a month, but this time around, I feel accepted, and part of the team.

If this isn't enough of a shower of friendship blessings, the senior pastor's wife called this week to ask us to be their guests Christmas Night at a dinner put on by some church members. I'm amazed. How did they choose us? We'll come back from dinner with the kids and watch IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE...'cause it is when you have friends.

Sunday Night's

Eating Out One Sunday Evening
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

The second half of this year we have a new family activity: our Sunday afternoon or evening meal finds us exploring the many "hawker centres" around the island. I'm sure between us all, over the years, we've dined at more than 100! Singaporeans love food - and there must be thousands of these tiled over fast food centers with stainless steel stalls selling local dishes on melmac plates. It's been kind of our "Creasman Sunday adventure" but it's actually more because we're broke and these local places are a great bargain! It is kind of fun. And I'm sure we're making memories. No one has gotten food poisoning or hepatitis. But I'm getting a little weary of having stray cats watch me while I eat.

Memorizing more than Bible verses

Last week I decided to audition for a Shakespeare play. I noticed the announcement:
MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM.
Botanic Gardens.
Director: Barry Kyle, former director for the Royal Shakespeare Company.

Though it made NO PRACTICAL sense to audition. It's an Asian produciton and I'm white. I've got a full plate already for next April and May, and I'm in almost daily physical pain.
Strangely I kept coming back to the emailed announcement.
It was like a personal challenge.
Maybe something like when people have this dream of "running a marathon" or "hiking Mt. Everest."
I had this urge to just give it a try.
I don't want to live a life with regrets, so I started memorizing, praying, "Anytime you want to let me know I am being foolish, or shouldn't do this...you can let me know!"

I didn't want to choose just any old good monologue.
Knowing the benefits of memorizing the Bible for wisdom and a sage outlook on life's circumstances, I started thinking about what portion of the Bard's work might "renew my mind."

So I chose 1 minute of the final words in TAMING OF THE SHREW (V.ii). Jim has always called himself my Petruchio; which is more wishful thinking than anything really. Perhaps now that I've memorized these lines, I'll actually be converted:

When a woman is froward, peevish, sullen, sour
and not obedient to her husband's honest will,
what is she but a foul contending rebel
and graceless traitor to her loving lord?

I am ashamed that women are so simple
to offer war when they should kneel for peace,
or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,
when they are bound to serve, love and obey.

Why are our bodies soft, and weak, and smooth,
unapt to toil and trouble in this world
but that our soft conditions and our hearts
should well agree with our external parts?

Come, come you froward and unable worms!
my mind hath been as big as one of yours,
my heart as great, my reason haply more,
to bandy word for word and frown for frown.

But now I see our lances are but straws,
our strength is weak and weakness past compare,
that seeming to be most which we indeed least are.

Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
and place your hand below your husband's foot
in token of which duty, if he please,
my hand is ready, may it do him ease.

When I told the director that my husband would be very happy that I had committed this to memory. He said, "Oh, you tell your husband that he's a pig." I answered, "Oh, no. He's really not!"

I had a good (and scary time) following through with the audition. Those who held the audition were warm (except for the ice woman who checked us in), and the director gave some time to encouraging me after my two pieces. While I was waiting for another friend to show up for her audition time I chatted with some actors in the green room. Just doing it was a confidence builder.

Your Enemy the Devil Prowls About Like A Roaring Lion...

1 Peter 5:8,9 is such a crucial verse to know.
But even knowing it by heart (for more than 20 years) doesn't ALWAYS
guarantee victory in every spiritual battle.

Among a few highlights in a week "taking it easy" 'cause of my neck
pain, my Bible study pondered & discussed the Daniel in the lion's
den story. "WE LIVE IN THE LION'S DEN! Is your sword
sharp?" (Ephesians calls the word of God "the sword of the Spirit")

Then, yesterday I finished doing "steps to freedom in Christ" with a
new believer here.
It took us three sessions to get through it. "Old Scratch" is NOT
happy about my perseverance.

My husband has had a number of events (thailand and here).
The CRM president was visiting recently. CRM Singapore is gaining
momentum.
Jim's preaching again tomorrow.
All this good fruitful work doing ministry helping people have a
focused life and living with purpose...

In the midst of this, today I've felt so discouraged about my worth/
effectiveness and had such feelings of despondency!
Wow. Sometimes the Enemy is so OBVIOUS in his attacks and I still let
him sink his teeth in before wising up!

Permission to be "unproductive" in your Creativity

Had a few visitors from CRM* this week. Two stayed here and three in a nearby hotel. It's always nice to hear more of what's going on in other places with our organization. Enriching to get to know better others who like us, live by faith, are supported by others who believe in us and what we're doing. Nice to meet others who share the values & ethos of CRM. *Church Resource Ministries

I had a chance to chat with Alex & Kat about my undying passion for theatre. Why do i have this bulldog determination to figure out how to practice it as part of worship, in building up followers of Jesus, and in sharing what we've found to be ultimate reality: An all powerful creator and sustainer God who though holy, loves each of us intimately and wants realationship with us! (Okay, maybe I wasn't chatting, I was more like pouring my heart out!)

Kat. sweet quiet Kat. I found her later browsing an art book in the living room. My talking about theatre and what I'm doing or dreaming about stirs up some important part of her GOD'S IMAGE-BEARING SOUL that has not been allowed to flourish. Only recently has she been allowing herself to let her creative spirit out: she's loved making hand made greeting cards. Loves collage. She enjoys the process of creating things. Enjoys. Gets joy in being creative.

But the censors in her life, and memory, and mind shout loudly:

IT'S NOT PRACTICAL! WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF IT?
How unproductive. Spending all this time to make something that no one sees, or maybe one person sees. What's the point of wasting your time on that?

I immediately get defensive and mad. What's the point??!!??? What's the point of doing something you enjoy?!??? What's the point of celebrating creativity and beauty??

So, for Kat and anyone who may read this who needs some reminders that GOD loves to be impractical in his creativity, I'm going to make a list:

• Why is every snowflake, or fingerprint, or strand of dna different? Seems like a lot of trouble to make them all unique! What's the point God? You do it just for fun??!!??
• Who cares about wildflowers of exquisite beauty that blossom in forests or desserts or fields that no one sees? Some are even scented. What's the point?
• Millions of insect species? What's the point?
• Glowing neon fish and unusual mysterious animals in the dark depths of the sea? Where's the purpose in that?
• Why do our hearts soar at seeing some photograph or video of a scene of unspoiled nature? Why is it especially powerful if it happens in real life? Why is natural beauty - creation - beautiful to us? Could it be that it's because we're getting a priviledged view of God's "private collection"? What's the point of having all this nature if no one sees it, or skiis it, or builds a resort near it?
• Why do we have such a natural appreciation for unspoiled nature?

What's the point or purpose of all this nature that is seen only by God?

It's really okay for us to immitate him. Really. It is. Go enjoy making something today that is beautiful but won't last. Enjoy making that meal and consuming it. It's not just FUEL to keep your body running so that you can run back out there and do more practical purposeful things!

Go ahead. Make something.
And don't feel like you have to make excuses for yourself doing it.
God doesn't. Why should you?

My Date with Cameron

Clear View from the Cable Cars
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

It's family blogging night. So I'm doing a bit of blogging too. For awhile now, on Sunday's we've really enjoyed observing a Sabbath. Reading and reflecting. Realizing that even if work isn't done, the earth will keep spinning and we're not as important as we'd like to be. Usually before a dinner of whatever is leftover in the fridge, we have the kids blog about their week. Then we turn the air conditioner in my room and we read to one another. Jim is gone tonight so we won't get the favourite part of this tradition. He reads to us from James Herriott's DOG STORIES.

Jim is gone this week to Chiang Mai, Thailand to help our colleagues Keith & Lori Webb in a week long Coaching Training. It's a first time through this and Keith has been working really hard at putting coaching (his passion) into a format for training ministry people. He's pretty happy that's it's finally happening.

I'm holding down the fort here in Singapore. The Webb children live downstairs, but they've got a very capable helper, so for me it just means a few extra trips driving to school (no carpool partner!) and helping out in case of an emergency.

These days I have a full time referee job between my two boys. I told them, upon their first altercation (over a nerf gun war) that I'd decided that we are going to practice pacifism for awhile this week. No toy guns, no gaming that includes weapons, no warfare of anykind. I'm so cruel (but I'll be they start getting along better!)

Playtime @ the Creasmans

LOTR Battles in Singapore
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

Includes costumes, weapons, and cameras. Tyler had been planning a Lord of the Rings adventure. They did mock battles and played capture the flag in character. Hilarious fun.

What's the POINT?

Driving down the road last Tuesday praying for the 4 year old son of a new friend here who'd had open heart surgery that morning. I had peace. Assurance. The kid was going to make it. I told my firend Lori,

"If that kid dies, then my faith in being able to trust that I can "hear from God" dies with him."

The little boy was in Sunday School 5 days later! 5 days later!!!

But here I am middle of the next week.
I'm off to teach the kids drama club in an hour. Trying to pull myself together.
I started crying last night while i was praying with Cameron for another little child at bedtime. I haven't been able to stop crying for very long. Unless I'm taking a nap. All day today.
I'm a wreck.
It's not even the right time of the month to be this hopeless.
And I've been taking Evening Primrose twice a day.

My newlywed friends' premature baby died this morning.
Born at 5 months. She survived about a week. Born this early she had only a 50% chance of surviving, and then for what kind of a life? A life of special needs,
I kept begging God to be merciful. Trusting he knows best, but whatever he was going to do, if that tiny little girl was going to die, would he just be merciful and end her suffering? He did.

We're still hurting. And will be for quite awhile.
Jim and I will be the only non-family at the cremation in 4 hours.
We were also the only non-family to witness the couple's sacred marriage vows only 5 weeks ago.

I'm reading a great book called VELVET ELVIS by a young pastor named Rob Bell.
Where I am in the middle of this book is good for me today.
Chapter six "NEW" is Helping answer my questions of

"WHAT'S THE POINT? If heaven is where he makes all things new and we live the way it's supposed to be why don't we all just drink the spiked kool-aid today?"

My mantra of late has been "Hang on till heaven." No one's been able to really give me an answer. Oh, that's just Kimberly being dramatic.

Here's a good section from the book about being REMADE:

"I am not who I was.
I am a new creation.
I am "in Christ".
When God looks at me, God sees Christ, because I'm "in" him.
God's view of me is Christ.
And Christ is perfect.
This is why Paul goes on to say, "therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved..."
Did you catch that word in the middle?
Holy.
Not "going to be holy someday". Not "wouldn't it be nice if you were holy, but instead you're a mess". But "holy".
Holy means pure, without blemish, unstained.
In these passages we're being told who we are, now.
The issue then isn't my beating myself up over all the things I am not doing or the things I keep doing poorly; the issue is my learning who this person is who God keeps insisting I already am.
There is this person who we already are in God's eyes. And we are learning to live like it is true.
This is an issue of identity. It is letting what God says about us shape what we believe about ourselves. This is why shame has no place whatsoever in the Christian experience. It is simply against all that Jesus is for. As the writer to the Romans put it, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
None.
No shame.
No list of what is being held against us.
No record of wrongs.
Bringing it up is pointless.
Beating myself up is pointless.
Beating others up about who and what they are not is going the wrong direction. It is working against the purposes of God. God is not interested in shaming people; God wants people to see who they really are.
--------

okay i got carried away on that point. It's good!
But the best POINTS to speak to my WHAT's THE POINT question is the next section:

--------
We can bring heaven to earth; we can bring hell to earth.
For Jesus, heaven and hell were present realities. Ways of living we can enter into here and now. He talked very little of the life beyond this one because he understood that the life beyond this one is a continuation of the kinds of choices we make here and now.
For Jesus, the question wasn't, how do I get into heaven" but how do I bring heaven here?
The question wasn't, how do I get in there? But how do I get there, here?
Whedn people use the word hell, what do they mean? they mean a place, an event, a situation absent of how God desires things to be. Famine, debt, oppression, loneliness, despair, death, slaughter --they are all hell on earth.

Jesus' desire for his followers is that they live in such a way that they bring heaven to earth.

True spirituality then is not about escaping this world to some other place where we will be forever. A Christian is not someone who expects to spend forever in heaven there. A Christian is someone who anticipates spending forever here, in a new heaven that comes to earth.

The goal isn't escaping this world but making this word the kind of place God can come to. And God is remaking us into the kind of people who can do this kind of work.

---------------------------
ah. gotta go see if I can bring a little heaven on earth to a bunch of cute healthy drama kids who did a great job last friday at International Night.

Someone in Need Needs...

Here's a good list from some CRM staff in South Africa who had a crisis recently. Here's their list of what they learned by being on the receiving end of people's care when they were needy.

1. Small acts of kindness make a big difference – A hug, a cup of tea, an offer to help, a listening ear, a phone call, a meal provided, a few simple words of care and concern or a shoulder to cry on, can speak volumes to those who are hurting.

2. Power in your presence – Whether it’s coming over just to be with us, or stopping by to see how things are going, there is tremendous power in the presence of those who truly care. 

3. Words of understanding – It’s amazing what a little understanding will do for the human heart. We received much comfort from the three simple words “I’m so sorry.” Identification with the pain of others is like a healing balm for the heart. 

Sarah & Roy's Medieval Wedding

Sarah & Roy's Medieval Wedding
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

WHAT WE DO AND WHY Letter to a Kindergarten Sunday School Class

There are lots of Christians in America and lots of very good leaders. We liked living in America, but other countries in the world don't have as many Christians. About the time your mom and dad were little kids, God did something amazing here. Thousands and Thousands of people became Christians in Singapore. Their mommies and daddies were not Christians. They were Buddhist mostly. Now there are so many Christians but they don't have many older Christians to help them. We went to Singapore to be helpers of the younger Christians and their churches. If we help them do a better job leading and telling about Jesus, God’s son (and his love for us), more people will find out the Truth, and want to live following God!


Singapore is one of the smallest countries on the other side of the world and is only 42 years old. People say America is a young country and it is over 200 years old! So Singapore is like a kindergarten country compared to many other older countries around the world.


The new Christians in Singapore and their pastors are excited and want to please God. They all want to share with the world about Jesus. But like younger kids, they need someone to help them learn. Singaporeans work very, very hard and the leaders like to be bossy and tell everyone what to do. Pastor Creasman helps them learn how to stay close to Jesus, be an encouraging leader, listen to God, and not work so hard so they can have time for their families.


Pastor Creasman's job is to be a teacher and encouraging friend to pastors and missionaries. He's like a "pastor to pastors." Most of his friends are Singaporean and their jobs are working in churches or starting churches, but some of them are from other countries and are running big companies.


Singaporeans are mostly Chinese and speak Chinese. There are more Chinese Christians here than in any other country outside China! Now, China is the largest country in the world. We believe that someday soon China will be like Singapore: God has been at work in that country and a lot of the people there are becoming Christians. Mr. Creasman prays that God blesses the work he's doing now with leaders in Singapore; then the Chinese speaking Singaporean Christians will be big helpers in China!


Mrs. Creasman also loves serving God as her job in Singapore. She is a lot like your mom. She drives her kids to school. Tyier is 13 and Cameron is 9. She helps the kids with homework & chores. She also does work besides her mom job too. She teaches drama at the boys’ school. She also teaches drama to grown up Christians in a Bible School. God helps Mrs. Creasman make friends with lots of actors. She helps them learn that Jesus can be their Saviour and friend, or that they can grow closer to the Creator and know God more. Some of these actors she meets with every week to pray or learn together. Some of these friends she will come along side when they are having problems and are feeling sad.


The Creasmans have a lot of guests in their home! A lot of praying, and encouraging, and studying, and laughing goes on in their home with all kinds of VERY different and interesting people! They wish you could come to Singapore and be a guest too!

Gotta Laugh at Ourselves Here

Have you heard of the mrbrown show ?

Mr Brown is the latest National Hero for Singaporeans. TRULY! He blogs and podcasts on Singaporean quirkiness/culture. i'm like an evangelist for Mr Brown! Tyler is really into repeating Mr Brown sketches for his friends (and teachers). I've told him
that we should work up a comedy act for Int'l Night...Ha. Come in as a police officer from the precinct where the new school is... giving us all a "welcome to the community," but with gentle reminders of how to behave at the bus stop, hawker centre, Ginza Plaza so that we don't upset the locals in our new neighborhood.

Back and Settled

Back for nearly 3 weeks now. Time enough to get the kids happily settled back in school, get out from under the pile of mail and bills and dust that settled while away. Time to start getting back to the gym to work off those USA calories. Ah. I like having some rhythym to life. Some predictability amidst the chaos. I've already received a parking ticket. I've already made a new dent in the car. I've already taken wrong turns and gotten lost. I've already missed an appointment 'cause I had it down on the wrong date. I've already had 2 people cancel appointments because they didn't realize they were double booked. That's the kind of predictability, the kind of rhythym of chaos I'm talking about. School is Monday to Friday, but what days the extracurricular activites are, and that if I volunteer for something, it will take more than twice the amount of time proposed. That kind of predictability and chaos.

Also time enough to get rolling on work. Ah. I like working. I especially love productivity. Teaching both kids and adults this term. One in a Christian school, one in a seminary. The seminary class starts tomorrow night. I love preparing for it and teaching. Today I met with women who want to do a recital together in October. What an honor to be asked. We have a venue, but the date isn't the best for me. We'll see.

The best part about coming back is that there are friends here to come back to. Sweet friends I've missed while away. A lot happens in 8 weeks. It'll take awhile to get caught up.

Home Soon

We go back this Sunday. Yeah. Time has dragged at break neck speed
hopping between family and church worlds feeling loved and lonely at
the same time everywhere. We're eager to be "home" with physical and
spiritual life feeling more centered.