Some unexpected whitewater rapids for our family. September News

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Summer Story:  Years ago we had the chance to go whitewater rafting as a family during a visit to the US. Last month we had a different kind of rapids. We flew to the US in July to attend CRM's Worldwide Conference in Mexico with our boys and hundreds of mission colleagues. The day after returning to southern California from the conference, came the turn in the river.  We received a call from Cameron's boarding school in Mississippi, telling us that the board had decided to close the school. It was only 14 days before the start of the semester! Where would Cameron spend his Senior year of High School? There were no good options where we live in Malaysia... Though it was an unexpected turn for us, this wasn't a suprise for God. He had a plan! We just had to find it.  And we did.  Long story short: Cameron has another wonderful story of how God loves him. Ten days after the phone call, these Californian transplants to Asia were sitting in the president's office of a Baptist High School near Knoxville, Tennessee. They had us on a fast track for enrollment. Directed to a nearby pharmacy, Cameron had a walk-in health exam, we shopped for a pile of uniforms, and finished all the enrollment details that one normally takes days to accomplish. At the school's Orientation Assembly two days later, we met many of the other seniors, some of the parents, and quite a few of the international students who live in the dorms. Then we left him at The King's Academy, as happy as we've ever seen him. The best part? We can't decide whether the best part is that he is excited to be speaking Chinese again with International students from China, or that nearly everyone who saw this 5'11" 245 pound big boy, looked at him hopefully and asked, "Will you play football?" His answer was: "Yes I will!"  He started on both Offense & Defense in his game today. Sure wish we could watch him play! Another highlight of summer: During the conference in Mexico with our CRM family of colleagues, Tyler had the opportunity to be baptized by his dad.  Lord, thank you for the full life you've given us to serve Asian pastors, church leaders and artists. We sense very strongly your direction that it's time to close this chapter, and yet we're not sure what your plans are for where to dig in next. Give us wisdom and gentleness as we say our goodbyes this fall, and we wait on you in thankful anticipation of your guidance and provision as we make this big step of faith. AMEN.

Get Out of the Malls and Movies: A Singapore Guide for Families with Teenagers

Preface:

In January 2010 my husband and I sat across the table from our boys 13 and 17 who were trying unsuccessfully to keep from rolling their eyes that mom had another “plan.” I called it The Creasman Challenge 2010. And it’s what was the inspiration for this little list.

You two have grown out of Family Reading Night, and we’re all a little bored with taking turns picking which Hawker Centre to explore for Sunday lunch. I propose that we take turns each Sunday afternoon picking a family activity. 

Typical of teenagers, they acted like they didn’t want to go along with it. But we pressed on. And had a good run with it.

I hope it might be of some inspiration for those of you who feel your losing your kids to earbuds and indifference.

This was posted on our refrigerator for years! See how yellowed it is?

Ideas to get you started: 

Start off with a family date to brainstorm places you already know about and have enjoyed or have wanted to try.

Rotate through the family who is the member to choose and plan the activity. This way every few weeks you know will have a chance to do what you will enjoy. This will also get you through the tough weekend when your siblings choose karaoke or getting facials.

You can make it a friendly competition. Who can come up with the most fun yet inexpensive activity? Set a budget for how much they can spend per person, and let the kids start making choices for what you do together!

We used SUCCESS EXPRESS for TEENSfor discussion questions. It has loads of good ideas. NOTE: There will be more eye rolling. But they will still know you love them and be grateful later.

Active

Rock Climbing. We went to Climber's Laboratory (there are other locations) 

 Ski 360, East Coast Park tow line for giving water skiing or wake boarding a try. There are also

Bike Rentals @ East Coast Park

Kayaking or stroll the path along the edge of Mac Ritchie Reservoir

Treetop Walk. Alexandra Road near Hort Park and Bedok Resevoir have these.

Water Parks Jurong East Swimming Complex 21 Jurong East Street 31 CHEAP! Operating Hours: 8.00am - 9.30pm (Tuesday to Sunday & Public Holidays), Closed on Monday

Another swimming pool with water slides is Sengkang Swimming Complex. Total 8 slides. 2 slides are for under 1.2m with a little playground.

Cerebral & Cultural

National Libraries.  Before you take  your next family trip, spend a day at the library finding books on the place you will visit. Learn as much as you all can in one afternoon. We spent an afternoon in the gorgeous and expansive National Library on Bras Basah near Bugis MRT. Each family member was assigned topics to become the family expert. We started reading about History, Major Religions & People Groups, Food, and the individual Cities we would visit. 

Changi War Memorial Museum It's a trek all the way out to Changi, but it is a very special place to see where the POWs of the Allied Forces were kept during WWII. After the museum go check out Changi Village if there's time. I mean, when's the next time you're going to get all the way out past the airport?

National Museum  93 Stamford Road in the Orchard area. History Gallery hours: 10am to 6pm, Daily. Last admission at 5.30pm and Singapore Living Galleries hours: 10am to 8pm, Daily from 6pm to 8pm, Last admission at 7.30pm. The museum has a $30 family package for foreigners and ifs free to Permanent Residents and Citizens.

Esplanade Arts Library - On the third level of the Esplanade Theatres on Marina Bay, check out this gorgeous library. Library card holders can rent 2 dvds at a time, and there are rooms available to rent (But, you're not going to the Movie Theatres in this Family Challenge, so forget that). You can eat at one of the restaurants at Esplanade. We love Thai Express for a sunset dinner with view of skyline and on the weekends often has live music playing. The Library is closed on Public Holidays.

Shop in Little India and buy a whole bunch of stupid tourist trinkets. Spend time before dinner putting together care packages for your best family friends or family back home with an assortment of Singapore goodies, like an "I <3 a="" here="" href="http://travel.cnn.com/singapore/shop/walking-guide-singapores-little-india-119396" mug.="" s="" singapore="" target="_blank">walking guide

to Singapore's Little India.

Arab Street & Turkish Restaurant. Try smoking a Sheesha Pipe together. Your kids won't believe YOU suggested it. It's safe, and has no nicotine. Guaranteed to make you laugh at each other. Take videos 'cause someone will deny you did it down the road.

Outdoors but not too Physical

Sentosa Luge and Skyway @Imbiah Lookout. The whole area is a good place to stroll and people watch on a Sunday. Sentosa 10am-9.30pm, 1800-SENTOSA (736-8672)

Botanic Gardens or Hort Park. Both have gorgeous greenery. Botanic has been around since the dawn of time, so it's more…mature (and larger).

Marina Barrage go fly kites!

Marina Bay. Walk along the waterfront, stopping for family photos or rest stops. It's a 3K walk.  Starting at One Fullerton or Marina Bay Sands. Most people think the only way to see the view from the top of MBS is to pay for the elevator. NO! Wait for a special occasion and go to Sky on 57 for the breakfast buffet. It's not anymore expensive than other buffets in town, and it is a breathtaking view they won't rush you away from.

Another good family walk is from Robertson Quay to Boat Quay. And of Course, under the Super Trees at Gardens by the Bay.

Skygarden at Orchard Central

Places to Stay Cool and Chill...

Changi Airport. You've always rushed through on your way to catch a flight or back home again. Take an afternoon to hang out and enjoy the terminals. Play truth or dare and dare one another to do crazy things in public.

Lobbies/Lobby Bars of Five Star Hotels. Take a tour of a few in an afternoon. Discuss the design of the lobby, and find out what each family member's preferred styles are and why. My favourites are Goodwood Park Hotel Lobby and pools, The Fullerton (near the piano), and the Shangri La (both of them). As far as bars go, Asia One at the top level of the Swiss Hotel next to Equinox [City Hall MRT]. If you go in the afternoon before the nighttime clientele come, it has a great view and the staff won't mind you having the kids along. They didn't when we went. But my kids are well behaved [*cough*]

and then, of course there's always…Karaoke and Bowling which will probably have some resistance, but you'll end up having a great time!

Quick Get Away

St. John's Island Discover more about our precious, wild seashores! Suitable for kids 8 years and above.

Riders Lodge, and hour north in Malaysia by car. Horseback riding and a nice ranch for an afternoon or evening meal.

Harris Ranch hotel on Batam has loads of fun things to do with families.

Service

It's hard to find places to serve here. I admit. But there are some. Volunteer Singapore has a blog.

Seasonal

Don't miss these while you live here:

Chingay Parade, Singapore Street Festival! , Singapore Slingers Game (Basketball)

With a Dog (or enjoy someone else's)

Dog Parks @ West Coast Park, Bishan Park or K9 Campus at the entrance of Turf City.

What if it Rains?

Watch old home videos.

YouTube Favorites. Each family  member takes turns sharing a favourite YouTube video clip.

Go through Christmas cards to help them know and remember old family friends, or sort through the kids boxes of Primary School art and memorabilia together (they can help you purge!)

Fix-it day of homerepairs/improvement and then go somewhere to celebrate the hours of work you all put in on something that needed to be done. Pasar Bella at Turf City is a good place to try if you've not browsed the upmarket trendy cafes there. Check closing time.

Whatever You Do...

Take lots of PHOTOS: We have a Flickr album of the best of. We wish it all didn't have to end, but the boys are both studying in USA now. They were back in Singapore for August 2013, and we revisited some favorite spots.

We have an empty nest now, and we have a heart full of many good memories. More of those than the frustrating memories of living with teenagers in those transition years.

I'm out of steam writing now, but here are a few more to search: Asian Civilizations Museum, Chinese Garden, Mini golf LilPut, take a CPR class, Board Game cafe (or take a board game to a fav cafe). What else am I missing? Check out: http://www.singaporekidsplaces.com/

Our Story of Infertility. From 2004 for Little Miracles book by Peter Lim

Back in 2004 I wrote this chapter for Peter Lim who was putting out this book as a thanksgiving offering that they were finally going to have a baby. I just checked and it is not available on Amazon, but Peter may have some copies!

Kimberly & James Creasman

Married June 1985

Infertility approx. 5 years, saw a specialist for 2 years.

Tyler, 1^st child: biological son conceived thru IUI, born January 1993 (after 7 ½ years married)

Cameron, 2^nd child: bi-racial son adopted December 1996 through Bethany Child Services in USA (private adoption)

It was 1996 and our first child, Tyler was turning three. We’d been through the ups and downs heartaches of five years of infertility the first time around, it was an emotional roller coaster we didn’t want to get on again. Starting on another journey of infertility treatments was too much of a gamble. We would surely spend too much money and emotional energy on the process and still not have any success in conceiving and delivering a second child.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” The desire of our hearts was to have a second child, and that our first child, Tyler, grow up with the blessing of a sibling. We had always prayed through our years of infertility, “God grant us the desires of our hearts, and if our dreams are not in your plans for us, please change those desires.” So, again we put our faith in Scripture. We focused our hearts and minds on delighting in the Lord, and we were confident that he would, in His way, satisfy our desires.

Another thing we were sure about was that there are many unwanted pregnancies and orphans in the world. We have strong convictions about abortion and caring for underprivileged. It was not a difficult decision for us to begin the procedures to adopt our second child.

Toward the end of 1996 we drafted and sent a letter to the Heath Clinics of all the Christian Colleges in USA, and hired an adoption attorney. We also had registered with a private agency working with women in crisis pregnancies. What follows is an excerpt from the letter we wrote to introduce ourselves to women who were considering giving their baby up for adoption.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purposes in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:28

For our first 7 years of marriage we were eager to be parents. We wondered why God was not granting us the desire of our hearts. Month after month we worked with an infertility doctor. It was a time of disappointment and discouragement, but we had confidence that God always knows what is best. Finally God answered “yes” just before Mother’s Day in 1992.

Four months into our long awaited pregnancy, Jim’s father was diagnosed with terminal cancer that would quickly take his life. Through Dad’s last months of pain and discomfort, God, with perfect timing, had provided a great source of joy: his first grandchild. We hadn’t known through the years of waiting for a child, that God’s timing would be perfect for us. Rarely this side of heaven do we get answers to our questions of why God is slow to answer or silent. In this situation, he was gracious to show us his reasons for answering “wait.” As a newborn baby, our son Tyler was still small enough to be held safely in grandpa’s weak arms in the few months before he died.

Now, here we are, four years later. This little Tyler prays every night that God would give him a baby brother or sister; the desire of our three hearts. Being parents has been the greatest experience of our lives and yet our infertility problems have worsened. Wherever you are, you are reading our letter because you are wondering what the future holds for you and the child you are carrying.

God is a good God, and he cares so much for you, for us, and for your baby. Our prayers are with you as you make these important decisions in the days to come.

With hope for a bright future,

The Creasmans

Jim, Kimberly & Tyler

Two months later, our Christmas cards were delayed in the sending. Here’s the letter we sent out with our cards a few weeks after Christmas:

January 13, 1997

In late August, when we decided to pursue a domestic adoption, we began praying that it would come together quickly; specifically, that a birthmother would choose us by Christmas, December 25^th, and that a baby would be in our home early in 1997. Not that God needed a date, but we thought it couldn’t hurt to let him know our desires….

We left December 3^rd for a two week mission trip to Asia (we were exploring options for serving in Singapore and Indonesia). We had not been able to finish all of the adoption application paperwork, or the required home study. Never-the-less, while in Indonesia, we received a fax from the agency to which we were applying for adoption. They were notifying us that a birthmother had chosen us. She was due December 25^th. “Are you interested?” We faxed back, “YES!”

The day after we arrived back to LA, we learned that the baby had been born early (December 14^th). In a whirlwind of meetings, a rush of paperwork, and a fog of jet lag we decided that this 6 pound, 11 ounce baby boy was the answer to our prayers. Only 5 days after arriving home, he was our son! We brought him to church the day he was adopted, and our first week back from the trip. Some people thought that the pastor had brought a baby back as a souvenir! We washed all of Tyler’s newborn clothes with the laundry from our trip!

We are still stunned at how quickly this has happened, yet it is exactly what we prayed for! What a wonder-filled Christmas to hold our adopted newborn while worshipping the newborn Jesus. He came so that we might have the opportunity to be adopted as His children. We thank God for his goodness and have great confidence that He brought Cameron into our family. 

More than 7 years down the road now, we thank God everyday for the joy and challenge of raising our boys. We continue to pray whether God would want us to adopt again (though we’re not getting any younger!). There is nothing in life that gives us such a clear picture of our heavenly father’s love for us than being parents. There is nothing better to help us understand and share with others the wonder of being adopted as heirs of God’s kingdom.

Our prayer for you would be that God would deepen your love for, and trust in him as you wait for him to fulfill the longing of your hearts. May He grow in all of us a yearning for him as deep and passionate as our longing to have children. May he strengthen your character and deepen your compassion for others who hurt as you walk this part of your journey.

DEMO REEL.

We've not met? 

You've not heard me speak? Sing? Oh my. Where have you been all my life?

So, if you're thinking of having me speak for your group, here's an unconventional intro to me.It's from a little concert a few years ago at the Singapore Arts House. Some background about our life in Singapore, and how I sometimes approach my relationship with Jesus. It's the best thing I have that sums me up. 

Including those who are playing with me: Keyboard is Deniece Foo a young leader/triple threat (i.e. dancer/singer/actor...well quadruple threat if you count /keyboardist). She was just out of college and I invited her to try out jazz. Now she directs her own show choir company Glee Studios. And then there's Meng Cham on the mandolin. You can't find samples of his performing on the web, but he's fantastic musician AND shepherd in his position of Music Pastor at Grace Assembly of God. Finally, Charles Wong on base, NUS Associate Professor (Chinese Scholar), Luthier of custom guitars, and the truest Renaissance man I know.

Transitions Seminar!

I enjoyed leading this morning focused on Transitions, and had great feedback from the ladies who came, and have put together some good notes, based on Terry Walling's Book Stuck (shown below) and Jim's synthesis of Managing Transitions, by William Bridges.

With the women, we spent 2.5 hours. In a second time with the same material, we took 4 hours. Jim did it once with the staff of an international mission group who was moving their HQ to a different country. They took two days. CRMS has DVDs of Terry teaching his version of it in a Seminar in Singapore, 2009. It's flexible. 

(I did last week in Vietnam with two couples who are planting an independent church. Jim set up this new group which started in February. I was going along to help him lead the mentoring lessons we do called Focusing Leaders Network. It turned out they also wanted drama training. That was easy. In February, I had an evening with twelve from their church, and this trip, they brought together Sunday School leaders from 10 churches to do a full day on Using Drama to Teach Children. I have a blog where over the years, I have posted up drama training notes for anyone who needs ideas.)

Monthly Monday: Transitions We all are familiar with the uncertainty that comes in times of transition. Many of us are currently in one! What is a transition? What is the pathway through the transition? How does God use the transition to shape my life and direction? How do I know when the transition is over? Based on CRM Leadership Development lessons, and Terry Walling's book STUCK! we will spend the morning looking at finding God in transitions and discovering his purposes. This perspcetive will help you surviving and navigating your next time of transition! For info about other Monthly Mondays with the Christian Connections of American Women's Association Singapore, click here. Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace given you when Jesus Christ was revealed. 1 Peter 1:15 CHRISTIAN CONNECTIONS A special interest subcommittee of the American Women's Association Singapore

        

On being an Empty Nester

One of my friends once told me,

"The most realistic goal of parenting in the teenage years was to not hurt each other so much between 15-18 that you can't mend your friendship later as adults."

Harsh. But realistic.

My youngest, still a teenager, isn't quite an adult, but getting there. He's in boarding school (yes, there's a story behind that). He and I had a sweet conversation this weekend for Mother's Day. We just talked and talked like old friends. The teacher overseeing the call told us we had to "wind it up" we were talking so long. 

Of course absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I'm sure, come summer, when we're together in California, we'll have our share of readjustments to being under the same roof. 

But, he IS maturing. And so am I. There is hope.

I miss seeing him so much that I snagged this screen capture while talking. It's a long time not being able to see him more than 6 months, between January 3 and July 10th. I try not to think about it, it makes me really sad. 

The sadness also gets mixed in with my still being mad at him. 

For Jim and I, children came later than we expected. And then those children left earlier than we'd expected making us early empty nesters. We're getting used to it, but still I feel I've been robbed of at least 3 years of having my children under my roof.

How do I deal with that mix of emotions? Humor. Before they left, I took spiteful photos of the state of my home on the days I wasn't a terrible nag. Those photos have come in handy on those days when I miss him so much.

Headed to Vietnam to Join Jim

(This was an update to Enc Inc a group of friends in Fullerton CA who keep in touch and are interested in what we're doing)

Jim leaves for Vietnam on Friday. I follow him on the 5th to stay with him and help out thru the 15th. I am so thrilled for him in the groups he has. So much potential through these men he meets with...for impacting the future of the church in Vietnam. I am always touched to see who God opens doors with for this humble man. He's trying to inspire them to get writing about the things they are learning so that as they grow, there will also be books published by Vietnamese on spiritual life and maturity. 

I will get to do a drama workshop there the 10th/11th. It's funny how these opportunities pop up from time to time, even though I don't seek them out. It's so easy for me, and they LOVE IT and LEARN so much! Last trip I did just a one evening thing with a group of 12. They were amazing!

Am also praying for a meeting to move forward with a partner on a book project for Vietnamese Christians based on the Sacred Pathways concept in Gary Thomas' book and Mrya Perrine's book that followed (after her dissertation) What's Your God Language? It's a stretch, but it's an idea that won't go away. So I'm acting on it.

The REAL LIFE drama for us recently was that March 31st Jim hurt his knee that has already been desperate for replacement. For much of April we've been assessing whether he needs to return to US immediately or if, with careful rest, it will get better enough to grit it out until our planned home assignment in mid-November. I'm happy to say we are staying put and marching forward with his planned trips. He's been telling those mentoring groups that he can't be as accommodating as previous trips...on motorcycles, up stairs, mountain paths, etc… the meetings have to come to him, cancelling the Hong Kong trip because there is TONS of walking/lugging luggage on public transportation…so, I'm really glad a decision has been made. And I'm relieved that we do not have to rush in goodbyes, or end anything abruptly.

I felt like I am on hold in some ways, just because I know we are moving back in November, and reluctant to dive in too wide relationally in Malaysia. I also don't want to wear out commuting in to Singapore multiple times a week. I get into Singapore on Mondays for meetings, and usually one or two other days. A mentoring group, who also helps me plan a monthly spiritual retreat for women. Jim's knee business had me pause even more. 

In this waiting time, I have a bit of new direction for my future: doing more writing and Speaking.  It came after 

• helping with an event where we hosted a Christian speaker/writer in January (I was underwhelmed), 
• a small speaking engagement I had in Feb for The Group.
• followed by a little sold out concert i had a 30  minute set for in march. 
• Then, there were two random exhortations that I need to be writing…specifically about one particular story. 

So, while waiting for Jim's knee to tell us whether it could get better, or needed to return to US, I started writing on one of my back burner book projects… transforming into a story a journal I kept in 2010. It was the first few months that the neighbour girl (stray child) Yi Hui started hanging out at our house.

After 4 weeks is already 130pages! It's really amazing to me how much happier and energetic I am when working on a creative project.