from an email to Cyndi Davis
Thank you for your note. We are feeling safe as anyone (and probably more
safe than most since we're not worriers and there are no air raids or bombs
dropping or orange alerts here!) God is good and still in control even when
things seem to be going crazy, and the enemy seems to be having a field day!
Our kids have an extra 10 days of vacation since they shut down schools due
to a deadly highly contagious pneumonia that they haven't got a handle on
how to treat. A few people have died but there's still a few million of us
unaffected! Gives us a chance to catch up since we'd fallen a bit behind in
our Chinese studies! We played a great April fools joke on the boys - we
called our home phone at 7 am from our cell phone and then went in and told
the boys is was their teacher calling to say the epidemic was over early and
they had to go to school. We had them get up, get dressed in their school
uniform, and walk 1/2 way to school until they could see for themselves
there were no other kids on the playground... they got a real kick out of
that and laughed all day (Tyler called all his friends to tell them how
crazy his parents were!)
Gotta keep your sense of humor....
4/02/2003
Frequently Asked Questions...
from and email to Donna Cole
D: I so appreciated getting your e-mail to know your prayer requests. You said that Jim's work is keeping him in Singapore these days. Is that why his pace is slower--because he is at home? Does he travel a lot normally?
K: Part of why it is slower is that we are purposefully taking it slower this year. Jim and I both enjoy working, but we can be on the driven side. We are learning to slow down a bit and take better care of ourselves. We've been through some tough things emotionally since coming to Singapore (which the letter will allude to), and now, with the Burchells leaving, we are working at some healing, growing from the experience, and filling up our reserves. I've even started working out with Jim at the gym 3 times a week! A first for us! I feel great! Carving more time out for reading and growing through the Word, and other books. Journaling and praying more.
Jim traveled A LOT last fall, and had WAY too much to do. It was a season of overload, since different areas he leads all had events in the fall. Sometimes it just happens that way, and it is do-able, but not as a way of life!!!
Since some of his work deals outside Singapore, in helping workers in networking/developing "strategic partnerships" for the Gspl in a big country to the north of us, he travels quite a bit for that. From time to time there are meetings as a CRM director that he travels to be a part of too. He normally takes a couple trips a quarter, somewhere. It is neat living in Singapore too, we are very close to so many Asian countries. As a family we sometimes take trips to nearby countries during our school breaks. This year, I get to do some Christian drama training in Malaysia, and perhaps Cambodia too! Jim will stay home and guard the home front then!
D: The focus here has been so much on the war that I remember hearing of SARS, but I did not realize that it was stopping attendance at schools. Is that pretty much all around you? Forgive me. I don't have a lot of time to watch the news!
K: We all enjoyed the time off, spending more time together, though it will be sad that our summer break, which is usually only 4 weeks, is now cut to 2 weeks! I feel like I got to know the boys better because of having them home all day everyday and their normal playmates weren't being allowed to leave their houses to come over or allow the kids to go to their houses to play (there were 2 exceptions) I'd listened well to the Spirit's leading to say "no" to a couple of things ahead of the SARS outbreak, so I was free to give them my attention!
Kids are back in school as of last week, but there is a lot of control and news and fear. Filling out forms nearly everyday stating whether we've been in SARS affected areas/hospitals/countries. The kids are questioned everyday when they arrive to school whether they are feeling well, etc. Next week they are saying they will institute giving all the children thermometers to check their temperatures a couple times a day! They still don't know whether the virus is contagious before symptoms are seen, so people who aren't quarantined could be passing it around too. I just say, we gotta live our lives as long as God ordains, and so let's get on with living them!
D: I KNOW that your parents were very proud of seeing you in LITTLE VIOLET AND THE ANGEL! Your mom said it was a different role for you. I got the impression that you were the bad guy! Were you?
K: YES! I was AWFUL!!! Not in a characatured sort of way, but in the way that made some people (adults!) in the audience cry because I was too much like the unloving mothers/women in their lives (no one sets out to be a villain, we all have our reasons for meanness - for this lady, it was being wrapped up in her grief). It all worked out in the end...I got what I deserved - I realized I'd been awful...and then I died!
D: I just didn't get that impression from what I read. I felt that you were the grief-stricken mom--period. Can you tell me more about it? Were you exhausted from your schedule of performance? It seemed that once you started, you didn't quit! How did YOU feel about your performance? How about Jim? and the boys?--Did they see you perform?
K: Jim and the boys loved it. Jim was traveling when the show opened, but the boys and our helper came a few times. I was able to get them backstage passes (which is a big thing since this arts center only opened in January, and it's pretty shwanky). THey liked meeting and hanging out with the other actors and being backstage and playing with the puppet VIOLET. Cameron (6) was troubled that I died. He wished I could have been one of the puppeteers giving voice and life to the child instead. But Cameron really liked the song I sang (a real tear jerker - showed the lady's soft side!) and he often sings it to me now. I felt happily and thoroughly exhausted when the show was over. I slept a lot more the first week after. It was weird getting back to my "real" life of being an unknown mom and going to parent meetings and sitting through piano class with the boys after having been in the spotlights for a solid week. Seemed like I was two people for a few days as I kept wondering, "Did that really happen?" I've been asked to do a few more projects this year. Singing in a concert next month as a "guest" of the three men who are putting on the show. I'll sing You'll Never Walk Alone from Carousel. The 3 men are all definitely NOT Christians, but Jesus loves them, through me. I find it neat here that these very outspoken gay guys will be interested in being my friend - when they know I'm a pastor's wife and am a Christian. I've had some good conversations about their understanding of God and spirituality with 2 of them...we'll see how it goes with this next "gig."
D: Are the boys grateful for a break in school? It sounds like they are both pretty great students!
K: Tyler's EXTREMELY smart and works hard. We're fortunate that he hasn't had to take extra tutoring in Chinese yet (nearly all his classmates have had tuition since first grade). I was able to do the studying with him until I started getting more involved in projects outside the house last fall. Now, I try to study with him a little - which means him trying to teach me some of what he's learned in class. Cameron is youngest in his class, so he's a bit behind the rest, though he's bright, though a squirrely challenge. I had a single friend over to hang out yesterday. As she listened and observed my afternoon routine with Cameron, she said, "I am going to have to pray for you more! I had no idea what your life was like!"
D: Reading that Tyler had first-quarter exams in English, Math, Chinese and Science sounds like he's in high school or college! Do you think school is taken much more seriously there? I can't believe Cameron is in 1st grade already! (Does the new school year start in January?) It wasn't that long ago, when he was a baby!!!! Time is flying!
K: YES. YES. YES!
D: Are there any things that you really miss from here that you cannot get there?
K: NOPE! Partly because we have been away and gotten used to the things here, and mostly because so much is available here (even some of the obscure junk food like poptarts!)
D: I hope you don't mind me asking so many questions; I know you must be busy, so respond whenever you can. In the meantime, please know that I pray for you every day.
K: For the churches here, Jim helps them hook up with in-country works that the particular church could give some short term support to, or "adopt" as a church project. He helps them strategize what their unique contributions can be to partnering with existing work going on rather than starting their own thing from scratch and competing with other mssnaries.
With the incountry networking, he works with many different ministries/groups who's ends are focused on bringing the good news to different Unreached People Groups in a large country to the north of us. Their govt. has said there are 56 major classifications of what they call "Minority Peoples." But truly, there are more than 200 groups, the govt has just bunched similar groups together. Many of these groups have no known Xns or chchs in them.)
D: Thank you for your ministry to honor Jesus Christ globally. You and your family are heroes/heroine of the faith! YOU TOO! If we're all doing God's will, we are all his heros!
K: Thank you so much for supporting our lives and efforts with your prayers. It really feels like we have partners even when you aren't with us physically. We feel cared for, and strong in the LORD's mighty power!
D: I so appreciated getting your e-mail to know your prayer requests. You said that Jim's work is keeping him in Singapore these days. Is that why his pace is slower--because he is at home? Does he travel a lot normally?
K: Part of why it is slower is that we are purposefully taking it slower this year. Jim and I both enjoy working, but we can be on the driven side. We are learning to slow down a bit and take better care of ourselves. We've been through some tough things emotionally since coming to Singapore (which the letter will allude to), and now, with the Burchells leaving, we are working at some healing, growing from the experience, and filling up our reserves. I've even started working out with Jim at the gym 3 times a week! A first for us! I feel great! Carving more time out for reading and growing through the Word, and other books. Journaling and praying more.
Jim traveled A LOT last fall, and had WAY too much to do. It was a season of overload, since different areas he leads all had events in the fall. Sometimes it just happens that way, and it is do-able, but not as a way of life!!!
Since some of his work deals outside Singapore, in helping workers in networking/developing "strategic partnerships" for the Gspl in a big country to the north of us, he travels quite a bit for that. From time to time there are meetings as a CRM director that he travels to be a part of too. He normally takes a couple trips a quarter, somewhere. It is neat living in Singapore too, we are very close to so many Asian countries. As a family we sometimes take trips to nearby countries during our school breaks. This year, I get to do some Christian drama training in Malaysia, and perhaps Cambodia too! Jim will stay home and guard the home front then!
D: The focus here has been so much on the war that I remember hearing of SARS, but I did not realize that it was stopping attendance at schools. Is that pretty much all around you? Forgive me. I don't have a lot of time to watch the news!
K: We all enjoyed the time off, spending more time together, though it will be sad that our summer break, which is usually only 4 weeks, is now cut to 2 weeks! I feel like I got to know the boys better because of having them home all day everyday and their normal playmates weren't being allowed to leave their houses to come over or allow the kids to go to their houses to play (there were 2 exceptions) I'd listened well to the Spirit's leading to say "no" to a couple of things ahead of the SARS outbreak, so I was free to give them my attention!
Kids are back in school as of last week, but there is a lot of control and news and fear. Filling out forms nearly everyday stating whether we've been in SARS affected areas/hospitals/countries. The kids are questioned everyday when they arrive to school whether they are feeling well, etc. Next week they are saying they will institute giving all the children thermometers to check their temperatures a couple times a day! They still don't know whether the virus is contagious before symptoms are seen, so people who aren't quarantined could be passing it around too. I just say, we gotta live our lives as long as God ordains, and so let's get on with living them!
D: I KNOW that your parents were very proud of seeing you in LITTLE VIOLET AND THE ANGEL! Your mom said it was a different role for you. I got the impression that you were the bad guy! Were you?
K: YES! I was AWFUL!!! Not in a characatured sort of way, but in the way that made some people (adults!) in the audience cry because I was too much like the unloving mothers/women in their lives (no one sets out to be a villain, we all have our reasons for meanness - for this lady, it was being wrapped up in her grief). It all worked out in the end...I got what I deserved - I realized I'd been awful...and then I died!
D: I just didn't get that impression from what I read. I felt that you were the grief-stricken mom--period. Can you tell me more about it? Were you exhausted from your schedule of performance? It seemed that once you started, you didn't quit! How did YOU feel about your performance? How about Jim? and the boys?--Did they see you perform?
K: Jim and the boys loved it. Jim was traveling when the show opened, but the boys and our helper came a few times. I was able to get them backstage passes (which is a big thing since this arts center only opened in January, and it's pretty shwanky). THey liked meeting and hanging out with the other actors and being backstage and playing with the puppet VIOLET. Cameron (6) was troubled that I died. He wished I could have been one of the puppeteers giving voice and life to the child instead. But Cameron really liked the song I sang (a real tear jerker - showed the lady's soft side!) and he often sings it to me now. I felt happily and thoroughly exhausted when the show was over. I slept a lot more the first week after. It was weird getting back to my "real" life of being an unknown mom and going to parent meetings and sitting through piano class with the boys after having been in the spotlights for a solid week. Seemed like I was two people for a few days as I kept wondering, "Did that really happen?" I've been asked to do a few more projects this year. Singing in a concert next month as a "guest" of the three men who are putting on the show. I'll sing You'll Never Walk Alone from Carousel. The 3 men are all definitely NOT Christians, but Jesus loves them, through me. I find it neat here that these very outspoken gay guys will be interested in being my friend - when they know I'm a pastor's wife and am a Christian. I've had some good conversations about their understanding of God and spirituality with 2 of them...we'll see how it goes with this next "gig."
D: Are the boys grateful for a break in school? It sounds like they are both pretty great students!
K: Tyler's EXTREMELY smart and works hard. We're fortunate that he hasn't had to take extra tutoring in Chinese yet (nearly all his classmates have had tuition since first grade). I was able to do the studying with him until I started getting more involved in projects outside the house last fall. Now, I try to study with him a little - which means him trying to teach me some of what he's learned in class. Cameron is youngest in his class, so he's a bit behind the rest, though he's bright, though a squirrely challenge. I had a single friend over to hang out yesterday. As she listened and observed my afternoon routine with Cameron, she said, "I am going to have to pray for you more! I had no idea what your life was like!"
D: Reading that Tyler had first-quarter exams in English, Math, Chinese and Science sounds like he's in high school or college! Do you think school is taken much more seriously there? I can't believe Cameron is in 1st grade already! (Does the new school year start in January?) It wasn't that long ago, when he was a baby!!!! Time is flying!
K: YES. YES. YES!
D: Are there any things that you really miss from here that you cannot get there?
K: NOPE! Partly because we have been away and gotten used to the things here, and mostly because so much is available here (even some of the obscure junk food like poptarts!)
D: I hope you don't mind me asking so many questions; I know you must be busy, so respond whenever you can. In the meantime, please know that I pray for you every day.
K: For the churches here, Jim helps them hook up with in-country works that the particular church could give some short term support to, or "adopt" as a church project. He helps them strategize what their unique contributions can be to partnering with existing work going on rather than starting their own thing from scratch and competing with other mssnaries.
With the incountry networking, he works with many different ministries/groups who's ends are focused on bringing the good news to different Unreached People Groups in a large country to the north of us. Their govt. has said there are 56 major classifications of what they call "Minority Peoples." But truly, there are more than 200 groups, the govt has just bunched similar groups together. Many of these groups have no known Xns or chchs in them.)
D: Thank you for your ministry to honor Jesus Christ globally. You and your family are heroes/heroine of the faith! YOU TOO! If we're all doing God's will, we are all his heros!
K: Thank you so much for supporting our lives and efforts with your prayers. It really feels like we have partners even when you aren't with us physically. We feel cared for, and strong in the LORD's mighty power!
4/01/2003
AWANA kids often write asking Questions...
My son Cameron has started going to AWANA here in Singapore this year. He's in Sparks. There is one church that has it and it is such a good program.
My job as a missionary is different from what my husband does...but since you asked me, I'll just tell you what I do. My job as a missionary is using drama to help spread Jesus' love and the truths of Scripture for living an abundant life in Christ. I get to do this in many ways.
I taught a course to a group of Sunday school and kindergarten teachers on how to use drama in their classrooms. I've taught a playwriting class to Christian adults who want to use drama in their churches for worship and special events. I've done some writing and other training, and this year will start discipling some of the women I have met through my training times. I have done some drama training for a group of churches in Malaysia and meet with other Christian artists from neighboring countries as they come through town. This year I will go to another city in Malaysia and may
go to Cambodia as well. Our family is thinking of going to Thailand to pass out the Jesus Film to tourists from Mainland China, since we all speak Chinese and mainlanders are very facinated with us (and it would not be against the law to give out the Jesus film in Thailand!!!)
Last year I was in a show for children that was sponsored primarily by a church. The show was not a salvation message, but a few thousand school children, including many special needs children were blessed by getting to see a show teaching them good values about sharing and friendship. Most of the cast were Christians. The church has this vision for using the arts in Jesus name to bring blessing and joy to their community. I was able to build trust and friendship with the cast members who are not yet Christians.
In February, I was in a professional production where I had opportunities to share my personal faith in Jesus with the cast and crew as I build relationships with them. The story was about a guardian angel. One day our lead actor (who is this famous actor here in Singapore) came into rehearsal with a terrible pain in his back. I took him aside and asked him if I could pray for him. He was glad for that, and then told me that the pain disappeared when I prayed for him. We were interviewed on radio and he
shared with the DJ a very theologically correct description of the purpose of angels (he's been reading!) I think God is doing something in his heart. It has been a great opportunity to develop sweet friendships with non-Christians (who are actually a bit anti-Christian), I trust God will use me in their lives to draw them to Himself.
On the last day of the show I took each person in the cast and crew aside to pray over their lives and that God would show them how much he loves them and that they would see the value of loving him back and living for him. Everyone liked being prayed for...even the athiests!!! We'll see if I get to eventually lead some of them to their decision to follow Jesus. Since the show ended I've been making "dates" to have lunch with different ones. You can pray for me that I would ask good questions like Jesus did of people, and would avoid preaching. This way people come to their realization of
their need for God just by talking about themselves.
What I like about Singapore is how God is teaching me that I'm not superwoman - and he's watned me to realize that he loves me whether I am just doing the laundry, or helping my kids study Chinese. It doesn't matter what I do, he just wants me to love him with my whole heart. It's funny when in USA, missionaries are often put on a pedestal as being SuperChristian, but it is in my going overseas that I am learning about my frailty and dependence on God. I am learning to see Him do things through my weaknessess instead of my competence. This is a good and HARD lesson to learn!
Love,
Mrs. Creasman
My job as a missionary is different from what my husband does...but since you asked me, I'll just tell you what I do. My job as a missionary is using drama to help spread Jesus' love and the truths of Scripture for living an abundant life in Christ. I get to do this in many ways.
I taught a course to a group of Sunday school and kindergarten teachers on how to use drama in their classrooms. I've taught a playwriting class to Christian adults who want to use drama in their churches for worship and special events. I've done some writing and other training, and this year will start discipling some of the women I have met through my training times. I have done some drama training for a group of churches in Malaysia and meet with other Christian artists from neighboring countries as they come through town. This year I will go to another city in Malaysia and may
go to Cambodia as well. Our family is thinking of going to Thailand to pass out the Jesus Film to tourists from Mainland China, since we all speak Chinese and mainlanders are very facinated with us (and it would not be against the law to give out the Jesus film in Thailand!!!)
Last year I was in a show for children that was sponsored primarily by a church. The show was not a salvation message, but a few thousand school children, including many special needs children were blessed by getting to see a show teaching them good values about sharing and friendship. Most of the cast were Christians. The church has this vision for using the arts in Jesus name to bring blessing and joy to their community. I was able to build trust and friendship with the cast members who are not yet Christians.
In February, I was in a professional production where I had opportunities to share my personal faith in Jesus with the cast and crew as I build relationships with them. The story was about a guardian angel. One day our lead actor (who is this famous actor here in Singapore) came into rehearsal with a terrible pain in his back. I took him aside and asked him if I could pray for him. He was glad for that, and then told me that the pain disappeared when I prayed for him. We were interviewed on radio and he
shared with the DJ a very theologically correct description of the purpose of angels (he's been reading!) I think God is doing something in his heart. It has been a great opportunity to develop sweet friendships with non-Christians (who are actually a bit anti-Christian), I trust God will use me in their lives to draw them to Himself.
On the last day of the show I took each person in the cast and crew aside to pray over their lives and that God would show them how much he loves them and that they would see the value of loving him back and living for him. Everyone liked being prayed for...even the athiests!!! We'll see if I get to eventually lead some of them to their decision to follow Jesus. Since the show ended I've been making "dates" to have lunch with different ones. You can pray for me that I would ask good questions like Jesus did of people, and would avoid preaching. This way people come to their realization of
their need for God just by talking about themselves.
What I like about Singapore is how God is teaching me that I'm not superwoman - and he's watned me to realize that he loves me whether I am just doing the laundry, or helping my kids study Chinese. It doesn't matter what I do, he just wants me to love him with my whole heart. It's funny when in USA, missionaries are often put on a pedestal as being SuperChristian, but it is in my going overseas that I am learning about my frailty and dependence on God. I am learning to see Him do things through my weaknessess instead of my competence. This is a good and HARD lesson to learn!
Love,
Mrs. Creasman
3/29/2003
3/13/2003
Latest News
From email to Elaine Bent in Dallas, TX
I've caught up on my sleep and some of the piles in the office...all that home administrivia that got shelved for the back to back run of Rainbow Fish-trip to USA-Little Violet.
Attending parent meetings at school and Cameron's music class at Yamaha last Saturday I had to marvel at the different worlds I was a part of...Back to "normal life" it's hard to imagine that the week before I'd been going through security with my pass to get backstage of the Esplanade, and hanging out with local TV stars...ha!
I've been asked to do a guest appearance in a show/concert in May. Three local actor/singers are doing a variety show and want me to come do a musical theatre number with them - I think the plan is that they'll back me up with accappella, When You Walk Through a Storm from Carousel.
Paul Seow also asked me last week to direct his children's production for May, but after praying about it, said no. I told him if I said YES it would be for all the wrong reasons. So I'll help them out in a smaller capacity, and have my days more free for other things. I've agreed to write for two shows for schools and the scripts need attention.
But most important, I feel that I want to begin being more intentional about discipleship and mentoring some of these younger women I've come to know through these shows. I have been suprised by the way some of the guys have opened up to me about their spirituality too - even the homosexuals in the cast. I am meeting one of them for tea today - so we'll just have to see why God has brought these dear ones into my life too.
Have you read THE SACRED ROMANCE, Drawing Nearer to the Heart of God by John Eldridge and Brent Curtis? Wow, I am LOVING IT. It is playing my heartstrings and speaking to my soul like no Christian book I've read...just what I needed to hear as I've been longing for more passion in my relationship with Christ. Something I read in the book yesterday had me going to bed lst night thinking how much I truly LOVE GOD with feelings and not just my head. Loads of theatre analogies in it too because John was an actor in LA for part of his career...
Well thats enough for now. It was great to get your news about CITA. Do stay in touch. I pray you'll know his joy and favour on your life today.
I've caught up on my sleep and some of the piles in the office...all that home administrivia that got shelved for the back to back run of Rainbow Fish-trip to USA-Little Violet.
Attending parent meetings at school and Cameron's music class at Yamaha last Saturday I had to marvel at the different worlds I was a part of...Back to "normal life" it's hard to imagine that the week before I'd been going through security with my pass to get backstage of the Esplanade, and hanging out with local TV stars...ha!
I've been asked to do a guest appearance in a show/concert in May. Three local actor/singers are doing a variety show and want me to come do a musical theatre number with them - I think the plan is that they'll back me up with accappella, When You Walk Through a Storm from Carousel.
Paul Seow also asked me last week to direct his children's production for May, but after praying about it, said no. I told him if I said YES it would be for all the wrong reasons. So I'll help them out in a smaller capacity, and have my days more free for other things. I've agreed to write for two shows for schools and the scripts need attention.
But most important, I feel that I want to begin being more intentional about discipleship and mentoring some of these younger women I've come to know through these shows. I have been suprised by the way some of the guys have opened up to me about their spirituality too - even the homosexuals in the cast. I am meeting one of them for tea today - so we'll just have to see why God has brought these dear ones into my life too.
Have you read THE SACRED ROMANCE, Drawing Nearer to the Heart of God by John Eldridge and Brent Curtis? Wow, I am LOVING IT. It is playing my heartstrings and speaking to my soul like no Christian book I've read...just what I needed to hear as I've been longing for more passion in my relationship with Christ. Something I read in the book yesterday had me going to bed lst night thinking how much I truly LOVE GOD with feelings and not just my head. Loads of theatre analogies in it too because John was an actor in LA for part of his career...
Well thats enough for now. It was great to get your news about CITA. Do stay in touch. I pray you'll know his joy and favour on your life today.
2/27/2003
Little Violet and the Angel
Anna Maria & Vlad
2003 Feb/March Curtain Call for Little Violet and the Angel at the Esplanade Studio Theatre.
2003 March: My dada, mom and their friend Jan came for a weekend from California to see Little Violet!
1/11/2003
Tyler's 10th
January 12, 2003: 10 year old Tyler's friends with his STITCH cake
January 2003: Making a pinata (Lilo & Stitch's house) for Tyler's birthday party.
12/14/2002
Cameron's 6th Birthday(s)
2002 December: Cameron's birthday party in California CHECK E CHEESE! Cousin Cade, Cody and Karissa Mitchell there to celebrate too.
2002 November: Celebrating Cameron's 6th birthday early at his kindergarten - Rainbow Fish and Star Fish come for a visit!
10/30/2002
9/11/2002
Reflections on 9/11 in Singapore
What hurt so badly those days was that in the FIRST week of September 2001 I'd had
neighbors and their children in my home making lanterns for lantern festival, and having tea, and getting a group together to go swimming. Then 2 days later, nothing but the twin towers collapsing was in the news and I felt like we were invisible in our neighborhood.
EVERYONE in the world was watching it on TV and talking about it for days on end, and watching and reading how the world was reaching out to their American friends around the world in this time of pain...
Everyone in this town knows we're Americans (They also know how much rent we pay, and that our boys speak Chinese, etc.). Yet NO ONE in Tampines looked at or spoke to me, for a week! On a National scale, when something was put together publically to memorialize those who died (held at National Stadium), it was the American Association who organized it. The Singaporeans did not know how to or didn't value responding with compassion.
At first, because of how painful it was personally, I was angry. Almost hateful. We were so pitifully needy, we all wore t-shirts that said AMERICA to church the following weekend. We wanted people to know we were Americans, hoping someone would speak to us after the service, but no one did. NO ONE! I wanted someone to bake me a casserole, or at least say, "Wow, I'm so sorry about what happened in your country. It's really tragic." But there was just this icky SILENCE.
When people finally said something it was,
"Did you know anyone who died?...NO? Oh, that's good."
(GOOD???)
or
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything, we were all THINKING ABOUT you, I just
didn't know what to say."
Over the months, my anger turned to pity, to compassion. I started looking out my HDB windows to the hundreds of windows within my view, thinking about what kinds of unprocessed pain hides behind these doors. It has grown in me a deeper compassion for the people of Singapore. Going through this painful expereince taught me in a deep way how people are emotionally and socially incabable of handling greif. Mine was deep, but still not entirely personal, or life changing, BUT how much more painful, and "disfunctional" for those who live ALL around us who cannot process the Japanese occupation, or poverty, or loss of a loved one, or abuse, or miscarriage, or infidelity, or retrenchement, or, or, or.... I think I'm much more compassionate for having gone through the post 9/11 experience in a cold country.
To be completely fair: I'll have you know that two friends did call the day of the tragedy, and when I was talking with dear Nora Neo about a week later, she made me a pie! I am so thankful they did. I think if NO ONE had, I may have given up! I may have forced Jim to take me back to the comforts of home (or Tarshish, like Jonah and run from His clear call to be here).
I believe that in time, we are going to LOVE Singapore, not just from our WILL, but by the grace of God with ALL our HEARTS.
neighbors and their children in my home making lanterns for lantern festival, and having tea, and getting a group together to go swimming. Then 2 days later, nothing but the twin towers collapsing was in the news and I felt like we were invisible in our neighborhood.
EVERYONE in the world was watching it on TV and talking about it for days on end, and watching and reading how the world was reaching out to their American friends around the world in this time of pain...
Everyone in this town knows we're Americans (They also know how much rent we pay, and that our boys speak Chinese, etc.). Yet NO ONE in Tampines looked at or spoke to me, for a week! On a National scale, when something was put together publically to memorialize those who died (held at National Stadium), it was the American Association who organized it. The Singaporeans did not know how to or didn't value responding with compassion.
At first, because of how painful it was personally, I was angry. Almost hateful. We were so pitifully needy, we all wore t-shirts that said AMERICA to church the following weekend. We wanted people to know we were Americans, hoping someone would speak to us after the service, but no one did. NO ONE! I wanted someone to bake me a casserole, or at least say, "Wow, I'm so sorry about what happened in your country. It's really tragic." But there was just this icky SILENCE.
When people finally said something it was,
"Did you know anyone who died?...NO? Oh, that's good."
(GOOD???)
or
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything, we were all THINKING ABOUT you, I just
didn't know what to say."
Over the months, my anger turned to pity, to compassion. I started looking out my HDB windows to the hundreds of windows within my view, thinking about what kinds of unprocessed pain hides behind these doors. It has grown in me a deeper compassion for the people of Singapore. Going through this painful expereince taught me in a deep way how people are emotionally and socially incabable of handling greif. Mine was deep, but still not entirely personal, or life changing, BUT how much more painful, and "disfunctional" for those who live ALL around us who cannot process the Japanese occupation, or poverty, or loss of a loved one, or abuse, or miscarriage, or infidelity, or retrenchement, or, or, or.... I think I'm much more compassionate for having gone through the post 9/11 experience in a cold country.
To be completely fair: I'll have you know that two friends did call the day of the tragedy, and when I was talking with dear Nora Neo about a week later, she made me a pie! I am so thankful they did. I think if NO ONE had, I may have given up! I may have forced Jim to take me back to the comforts of home (or Tarshish, like Jonah and run from His clear call to be here).
I believe that in time, we are going to LOVE Singapore, not just from our WILL, but by the grace of God with ALL our HEARTS.
9/10/2002
What I'm Looking For in a Cell Group
to a friend we've been meeting with bi-weekly
You've done SO MUCH to help Jen and Lawrence in their whirlwind of getting to China, and setting up their life there... Come to think of it, seems like you help everyone you know! I can't help but thank God for you everyday when I look around my home at all the beautiful things you gave or loaned to help us settle. I imagine that all the work, and leading, and helping you do is exhausting. Not to mention that you've pushed on after the emotionally and spiritually draining & disappointing stuff with the staff couple you had to let go last year (and probably heaps of other interpersonal issues I don't know about). You are often in my thoughts and then prayers about juggling your competing demands.
We'll need to pow wow about what to do with our GREAT MARRIAGES cell group since Lawrence and Jen are gone. Important to talk aboutyour thoughts, as well as Cheng and Craig's needs. Bless them, they said a while back, this is the first time in their Christian lives that they've actually looked forward to going to cell... I have loved seeing Craig warm up to you two. When they were dating, they had a bunch of negative comments from 'friends' at church about their hopes of staying together. He's such a new Christian and has so much to learn...and yet has a lot of pride covering up his lack of spiritual maturity. I know that he has never had an older male Christian friend. You and Cheng are my dearest Singaporean sisters in Christ, so it has been an indulgent joy for me that you have gotten to know her a little.
Here's where we're coming from: As we started this group, our thoughts/needs were, first deepening friendships in a context of our common faith and being married. Starting with a low-key (not lots of reading or homework), pretty safe subject that will help us gel as a group -- build trust, history, memories, and an ability to get below the surface with one another.
Jim and I are at a place in our marriage where processing our "timeline," "purpose statement" or thinking about the future are helping us get reaquainted and better understand each other. We guessed that each of us as couples would even learn some things about our mates for the first time. We thought that this might be a good exercise for all of the 4 couples in starting out, before deciding if we want to stay together to tackle a tougher subjects like what it take for each of us to have a great and Godly marriage.
I think I can understand what you listed about what you want in a small group, and I think that your statement that you're not a "people person" makes our felt needs so very different. For Jim and I, it's been a long 5+ years of not having much fellowship with any long term, deep, meaningful, enjoyable and transparent friendships.
In these 5 years, we have been (in different settings) praising, worshiping, praying, and hearing from the word with people who always feel like strangers. The superficiality of hundreds of acquaintances here, added to our long term loss of deep friendships from a lifetime in LA, was the "method to our madness" in having our GREAT MARRIAGE times together be so relational. I've been growing in my understanding of the practice of the presence of God, so even though we haven't spent great amounts of time dedicated to prayer or worship, our times of joking around the meal have an awareness of the presence of the Lord in our midst. For me, and the way I'm wired, it isn't a matter of "either/or," spiritual, academic or a party, it's less dichotomized...
I get worship, I get times devoted to prayer and I get Bible study on my own...but it's been through our small group, that I finally am feeling that koinonia, that I have local brothers and sisters who I care enough about to be praying for regularly through the week, OR I feel may care about me enough to think of me, and maybe pray for me, past the greet-your-neighbor moment in a worship service. Admittedly, hearing from other friends that they have been in a typical Friday-sing-pray-study small group since coming to Singapore, and they don't feel any real bonds of kinship with their group, has made me desperate that we NOT be like that.
OKAY...enough about this...we can talk when we meet!
You've done SO MUCH to help Jen and Lawrence in their whirlwind of getting to China, and setting up their life there... Come to think of it, seems like you help everyone you know! I can't help but thank God for you everyday when I look around my home at all the beautiful things you gave or loaned to help us settle. I imagine that all the work, and leading, and helping you do is exhausting. Not to mention that you've pushed on after the emotionally and spiritually draining & disappointing stuff with the staff couple you had to let go last year (and probably heaps of other interpersonal issues I don't know about). You are often in my thoughts and then prayers about juggling your competing demands.
We'll need to pow wow about what to do with our GREAT MARRIAGES cell group since Lawrence and Jen are gone. Important to talk aboutyour thoughts, as well as Cheng and Craig's needs. Bless them, they said a while back, this is the first time in their Christian lives that they've actually looked forward to going to cell... I have loved seeing Craig warm up to you two. When they were dating, they had a bunch of negative comments from 'friends' at church about their hopes of staying together. He's such a new Christian and has so much to learn...and yet has a lot of pride covering up his lack of spiritual maturity. I know that he has never had an older male Christian friend. You and Cheng are my dearest Singaporean sisters in Christ, so it has been an indulgent joy for me that you have gotten to know her a little.
Here's where we're coming from: As we started this group, our thoughts/needs were, first deepening friendships in a context of our common faith and being married. Starting with a low-key (not lots of reading or homework), pretty safe subject that will help us gel as a group -- build trust, history, memories, and an ability to get below the surface with one another.
Jim and I are at a place in our marriage where processing our "timeline," "purpose statement" or thinking about the future are helping us get reaquainted and better understand each other. We guessed that each of us as couples would even learn some things about our mates for the first time. We thought that this might be a good exercise for all of the 4 couples in starting out, before deciding if we want to stay together to tackle a tougher subjects like what it take for each of us to have a great and Godly marriage.
I think I can understand what you listed about what you want in a small group, and I think that your statement that you're not a "people person" makes our felt needs so very different. For Jim and I, it's been a long 5+ years of not having much fellowship with any long term, deep, meaningful, enjoyable and transparent friendships.
In these 5 years, we have been (in different settings) praising, worshiping, praying, and hearing from the word with people who always feel like strangers. The superficiality of hundreds of acquaintances here, added to our long term loss of deep friendships from a lifetime in LA, was the "method to our madness" in having our GREAT MARRIAGE times together be so relational. I've been growing in my understanding of the practice of the presence of God, so even though we haven't spent great amounts of time dedicated to prayer or worship, our times of joking around the meal have an awareness of the presence of the Lord in our midst. For me, and the way I'm wired, it isn't a matter of "either/or," spiritual, academic or a party, it's less dichotomized...
I get worship, I get times devoted to prayer and I get Bible study on my own...but it's been through our small group, that I finally am feeling that koinonia, that I have local brothers and sisters who I care enough about to be praying for regularly through the week, OR I feel may care about me enough to think of me, and maybe pray for me, past the greet-your-neighbor moment in a worship service. Admittedly, hearing from other friends that they have been in a typical Friday-sing-pray-study small group since coming to Singapore, and they don't feel any real bonds of kinship with their group, has made me desperate that we NOT be like that.
OKAY...enough about this...we can talk when we meet!
8/22/2002
7/21/2002
Can't Say "I WANT" Until November
To Grammy Lynn:
A few weeks ago he was desperate for a certain toy that was more than he wanted to spend of his own money, and more than we'd pay just for the fun of it. You know how Tyler gets OBSESSED about wanting stuff. And he'd just come back from getting some goodies from the Coventons the week before.
The thought crossed my mind that if you were around you'd be driving him to Toys R Us the next day and buying both he AND Cameron one! I even thought of calling you, and then a day or two later I realized that it was only days until Tyler's half birthday...what a great excuse to spoil him! I suggested we'd pay 1/2...he thought that was agood idea but ended up we settled on him paying about $10 US. We even had a cake! Took some pictures. Made it a family DATE NIGHT. Cameron even got the dreamed of little star wars action figure he'd been dreaming of.
But the deal is, that neither of them can use the word "WANT" with us, or with the grandparents, about any toy until November (when it's time to write a Christmas list). If they find there is something they begin to want they have to write it down and save it until November!
SO, all that said, both boys would be tickled at any small amount of cash you'd want to "reward" them with. With Cameron not getting allowance yet, and the toys they like being the same, I'd say make it the same amount.
Cameron is tackling some pretty hard Chinese (he writes quite a few, and reads more than 75 words - more than Tyler had to at this age because Tyler was oldest in his classes and Cameron is the youngest so he's more stretched, and not the top student like his brother. In fact, the way Cameron sees it, he's just glad he's not THE worst in class!). He will soon finish his 100 reading lessons, and knows he will get a bike for that!
A few weeks ago he was desperate for a certain toy that was more than he wanted to spend of his own money, and more than we'd pay just for the fun of it. You know how Tyler gets OBSESSED about wanting stuff. And he'd just come back from getting some goodies from the Coventons the week before.
The thought crossed my mind that if you were around you'd be driving him to Toys R Us the next day and buying both he AND Cameron one! I even thought of calling you, and then a day or two later I realized that it was only days until Tyler's half birthday...what a great excuse to spoil him! I suggested we'd pay 1/2...he thought that was agood idea but ended up we settled on him paying about $10 US. We even had a cake! Took some pictures. Made it a family DATE NIGHT. Cameron even got the dreamed of little star wars action figure he'd been dreaming of.
But the deal is, that neither of them can use the word "WANT" with us, or with the grandparents, about any toy until November (when it's time to write a Christmas list). If they find there is something they begin to want they have to write it down and save it until November!
SO, all that said, both boys would be tickled at any small amount of cash you'd want to "reward" them with. With Cameron not getting allowance yet, and the toys they like being the same, I'd say make it the same amount.
Cameron is tackling some pretty hard Chinese (he writes quite a few, and reads more than 75 words - more than Tyler had to at this age because Tyler was oldest in his classes and Cameron is the youngest so he's more stretched, and not the top student like his brother. In fact, the way Cameron sees it, he's just glad he's not THE worst in class!). He will soon finish his 100 reading lessons, and knows he will get a bike for that!
7/17/2002
MAKING FRIENDS: A Dog Helps in Meeting People
Virtually all the Christian ministry expats send their children to the International Community School. We do spend a lot of effort connecting with "referrals;" friends of friends who are here only a short while. I must say, it is easier to make these connections with a car. I found myself questioning whether I wanted to spend $35+ on taxi fair to just go meet up with someone I'll never see or hear from again since most of these connections never turn into real friendships. These connections rarely come to much more than another name in the address list. Guess it's the nature of being an ex-pat. So many people are transient and you treat most of your relationships like a cocktail party. Jim doesn't seem to mind it, but for the kids and I it's gotten really old.
I have had a once a month prayer group with Kim Burchell and a few other American women - that has been great. And occassionally we see the Griffiths- the family who did the baseball league last year, as well as this new Australian family across the street. We see them a couple times a week now!
August 2002 National Day celebrations in the park across the street.
Thanks to the dog Rascal, who needs a walk in the park 2 times a day, we're starting to recognize familar faces of people in our broader neighborhood who are also out exercising regularly. I've made a decision to look as many in the eye as I can make eye contact with and say, "Good morning" in English or Chinese. Try and get them to smile back. It usually works. And now, a few familiar faces light up and initiate a greeting when they see us!
I was just visiting last night with my artist friend from England. She's caucasian I met here in Tampines early on while I was grocery shopping. She's a bit rough around the edges and I'm always very bold about where my opinions about how we live come from (the Bible and a faith in Jesus). It's nice to have someone here who initiates with me. Her children are grown and she just married her Muslim Singaporean boyfriend who is 15 years younger than she is! She's been here 12 years and has a really bad attitude about the gossipy unfriendly locals, so I was lecturing her: "You can't let them get to you, you must "get to them." Go overboard in being nice and friendly. There's no way these people will ever change unless someone shows them a different way to treat people!"
I've had 2 calls in the past week about acting opprotunities for Tyler and I. One a TV production company that does children's shows and another one that produces short shows that are shown in hospital waiting rooms - Health TV. Supposed to be shows with local humor about hospitals...lighten up the atmosphere. The producers are thrilled that Tyler can speak Chinese and are thinking up ways to use him.
(from an email to Grammy Lynn)
I have had a once a month prayer group with Kim Burchell and a few other American women - that has been great. And occassionally we see the Griffiths- the family who did the baseball league last year, as well as this new Australian family across the street. We see them a couple times a week now!
August 2002 National Day celebrations in the park across the street.
Thanks to the dog Rascal, who needs a walk in the park 2 times a day, we're starting to recognize familar faces of people in our broader neighborhood who are also out exercising regularly. I've made a decision to look as many in the eye as I can make eye contact with and say, "Good morning" in English or Chinese. Try and get them to smile back. It usually works. And now, a few familiar faces light up and initiate a greeting when they see us!
I was just visiting last night with my artist friend from England. She's caucasian I met here in Tampines early on while I was grocery shopping. She's a bit rough around the edges and I'm always very bold about where my opinions about how we live come from (the Bible and a faith in Jesus). It's nice to have someone here who initiates with me. Her children are grown and she just married her Muslim Singaporean boyfriend who is 15 years younger than she is! She's been here 12 years and has a really bad attitude about the gossipy unfriendly locals, so I was lecturing her: "You can't let them get to you, you must "get to them." Go overboard in being nice and friendly. There's no way these people will ever change unless someone shows them a different way to treat people!"
I've had 2 calls in the past week about acting opprotunities for Tyler and I. One a TV production company that does children's shows and another one that produces short shows that are shown in hospital waiting rooms - Health TV. Supposed to be shows with local humor about hospitals...lighten up the atmosphere. The producers are thrilled that Tyler can speak Chinese and are thinking up ways to use him.
(from an email to Grammy Lynn)
7/10/2002
CRM Worldwide Conference, Venezuela
What a Godward organization we've joined! I am always amazed when I get to know others with CRM. Very humbling to have fellowship with and be a part of such a gifted, saintly group of peers!
The speaker was captivating - John Piper - inspiring and pointed us to passion in worshipping God as the ONLY thing that will give us satisfaction in this vapour we call our life; and how He doesn't need us; and a fresh perspective on serving him from our weakenss (sessions were refreshing and thought provoking - and convicting as well!). I was really honoured and a little stressed when the CRM president asked me ahead of time to coordinate 4 dramas to set up these teaching times for such a preacher (I've read 2 of his books this year - A Hunger for God and Desiring God . If you haven't read them...add them to your list!)...I only had a little more than a week ahead of time with notes he'd emailed on what he'd preach about, and didn't have a clue who my "talent pool" was. But it was entirely Divine how it all came together flawlessly and beautifully with just the right people for every piece.
Like Eric Liddell (Chariots of Fire), I sensed God's pleasure in the process of doing what I love to do, and the execution of it too. I know that He was guiding and inspiring in the preparations for it. It was a gift to me to be asked, when no one in the organization has ever seen my work - AND so very personally rewarding for me since I love integrating the theatrical in worship, know how to, and I really haven't had an opportunity for the 5 years I've been gone from California. I know more times will come in the future, but this opportunity was very special.
Remember the old hymn FOLLOW ME? "I travelled down a weary road and no one seemed to care. The burden on my weary back had bowed me with despair...." Wow. Many at the conference got sick from the food, or the water, and I wasn't spared. The last morning when I was set to sing this hymn dressed as a pilgrim...set up as starting from a seat in the house and walking down an aisle to the stage in front, across and out a side stage door at the end of the song... I was so sick, dizzy and weak, that when an extrememly gifted violinist started her Applalachian style accompaniment, I didn't know if I would stay standing when it came time for me to get up and sing. Jim told me later he had never heard me sound better. I felt so much power in my voice. When I got to the last verse and was kneeling on the stage belting out, "These are the words I hear him speak to me: If just a cup of water, I place within your hands, then just a cup of water is all that I demand, so if by death to living they can thy glory see, I'll lift my cross and follow close to thee..."
No one needed to tell me later that God spoke to them in that song. His presence was evident. What a tangible application to the lessons God is teaching me!
The speaker was captivating - John Piper - inspiring and pointed us to passion in worshipping God as the ONLY thing that will give us satisfaction in this vapour we call our life; and how He doesn't need us; and a fresh perspective on serving him from our weakenss (sessions were refreshing and thought provoking - and convicting as well!). I was really honoured and a little stressed when the CRM president asked me ahead of time to coordinate 4 dramas to set up these teaching times for such a preacher (I've read 2 of his books this year - A Hunger for God and Desiring God . If you haven't read them...add them to your list!)...I only had a little more than a week ahead of time with notes he'd emailed on what he'd preach about, and didn't have a clue who my "talent pool" was. But it was entirely Divine how it all came together flawlessly and beautifully with just the right people for every piece.
Like Eric Liddell (Chariots of Fire), I sensed God's pleasure in the process of doing what I love to do, and the execution of it too. I know that He was guiding and inspiring in the preparations for it. It was a gift to me to be asked, when no one in the organization has ever seen my work - AND so very personally rewarding for me since I love integrating the theatrical in worship, know how to, and I really haven't had an opportunity for the 5 years I've been gone from California. I know more times will come in the future, but this opportunity was very special.
Remember the old hymn FOLLOW ME? "I travelled down a weary road and no one seemed to care. The burden on my weary back had bowed me with despair...." Wow. Many at the conference got sick from the food, or the water, and I wasn't spared. The last morning when I was set to sing this hymn dressed as a pilgrim...set up as starting from a seat in the house and walking down an aisle to the stage in front, across and out a side stage door at the end of the song... I was so sick, dizzy and weak, that when an extrememly gifted violinist started her Applalachian style accompaniment, I didn't know if I would stay standing when it came time for me to get up and sing. Jim told me later he had never heard me sound better. I felt so much power in my voice. When I got to the last verse and was kneeling on the stage belting out, "These are the words I hear him speak to me: If just a cup of water, I place within your hands, then just a cup of water is all that I demand, so if by death to living they can thy glory see, I'll lift my cross and follow close to thee..."
No one needed to tell me later that God spoke to them in that song. His presence was evident. What a tangible application to the lessons God is teaching me!
7/08/2002
BREATH: Psalm 39:5
by k!mberly
I read in the Bible that
"Life is a but a breath."
A vapour.
The breath that rests on the cold air of a frosty morning.
Puuhhhffffff.
And in seconds is gone.
I hope the breath of my life will be
Good breath.
Not bad breath.
Seconds
Only.
And I'm prone to the
Halitosis of self absorption.
I hold my empty cup
To you God.
I'm ready to gargle again.
I want
Breath
That won't be wasted
On complaints or criticism.
I want
Breath
That will waft a blessing
On those few other vapours
Who are sharing these seconds with me.
I want my
Puuhhhffffff
To raise a delighted eyebrow
Not wrinkle up a nose.
Oh God!
Fill my cup with
That sweet fragrance of Christ.
His vapour was even shorter than most.
Yet,
For the joy set
Before him,
Endured the CROSS.
No complaints.
Puuhhhffffff.
His vapour on earth
Now long gone.
Ascended.
But his fragrance
Remains.
Spread by my joy.
By your joy.
In the seconds we have left.
"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."
II Corinthians 2:14,15
I read in the Bible that
"Life is a but a breath."
A vapour.
The breath that rests on the cold air of a frosty morning.
Puuhhhffffff.
And in seconds is gone.
I hope the breath of my life will be
Good breath.
Not bad breath.
Seconds
Only.
And I'm prone to the
Halitosis of self absorption.
I hold my empty cup
To you God.
I'm ready to gargle again.
I want
Breath
That won't be wasted
On complaints or criticism.
I want
Breath
That will waft a blessing
On those few other vapours
Who are sharing these seconds with me.
I want my
Puuhhhffffff
To raise a delighted eyebrow
Not wrinkle up a nose.
Oh God!
Fill my cup with
That sweet fragrance of Christ.
His vapour was even shorter than most.
Yet,
For the joy set
Before him,
Endured the CROSS.
No complaints.
Puuhhhffffff.
His vapour on earth
Now long gone.
Ascended.
But his fragrance
Remains.
Spread by my joy.
By your joy.
In the seconds we have left.
"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."
II Corinthians 2:14,15
7/03/2002
Love/Hate on the 4th of July
July 2002: Our "Great Marriages" cell group celebrates the 4th of July with us.
Happy 4th of July!
I'm having a love/hate day with Singapore today.
Had a beautiful time last night with 3 Singaporean couples, our closest friends here, to celebrate our 4th -- they were all very game and festive. I told them all when they greeted me they had to say, "God bless America!" Since it was the first 4th of July since 9/11, which, as I've written about before made me terribly homesick, and which was why I was feeling extrememly patriotic. Loads of red/white/and blue, a BBQ, we all sang the National Anthem and God Bless America etc.. Pretty fun.
Then we got home at 10:15PM to our little suburb of highrises, parked our car in a loading area, and in the 4 minutes while we were taking the sleeping Creasmans up from the car, some good-for-nothing-that-God-loves-as-much-as-me walked by and stole 2 bags we'd set by the car - containing Jim's work clothes & shoes, house keys, his cellphone, a couple of treasured coffeetable books about America (one new one from my mom on the heros of 9/11), and a silly pair of size 11 wooden shoes (Cameron's souvenier from our layover in Holland last week). I immediately took the dog for a walk -- partly to blow off steam, partly seaching for the offending terrorist (well, ok, "petty theif") so I could get back my stuff (I was confident that I am bigger than whoever it was that took it), and partly asking God to give me a heart that wants to pray for this person and all the people who live by the "finders-keepers" rule in life.
I know it's just stuff, but it makes me SO mad sometimes. We've had more than enough of this kind of petty theft in a nation that's known for it's low crime rate. We have an unseen Enemy who doesn't want us to like it here!
Hit by a Motorcyclist
I was hit by a speeding motorcyclist yesterday - with his girlfriend on the back. Malay muslim kids. The way they flew and rolled in front of my car I thought they'd for sure be dead, but after hainging around at the site for all the police reports we went to find them at the hospital...only abrasions. I shared merely that God loves them and surely has a plan for keeping them alive, and that the instant of the crash, I prayed for their protection as I saw them rolling. It is illegal to share "Christ" with Muslims in Singapore, but I have heard stories of conversions when Jesus appears to people in dreams...so as they are in the hospital and recovering, pray that Jesus introduce himself as the one who saved them...twice. Once yesterday and once 2 thousand years ago.
I'm a bit shook up too. This is the 3rd auto accident in owning our car for 9 months (and cars are about 4xs the price here), I've had a robbery (the 4th of July), been served for a law suit (the 10th), a parking ticket when I was not parking illegally (last week), and had a man practice a lewd act on me while studying in the library the day before yesterday...then the accident yesterday where I was sure for an instant that my car had caused 2 people to die...hmmm. With our influence growing in the circles we've come to serve, it just makes me convinced that we're making the enemy angry...and with this encouragement and God's grace, I can keep my head on straight during the day. But last night I had trouble sleeping...
I'm a bit shook up too. This is the 3rd auto accident in owning our car for 9 months (and cars are about 4xs the price here), I've had a robbery (the 4th of July), been served for a law suit (the 10th), a parking ticket when I was not parking illegally (last week), and had a man practice a lewd act on me while studying in the library the day before yesterday...then the accident yesterday where I was sure for an instant that my car had caused 2 people to die...hmmm. With our influence growing in the circles we've come to serve, it just makes me convinced that we're making the enemy angry...and with this encouragement and God's grace, I can keep my head on straight during the day. But last night I had trouble sleeping...
7/01/2002
Psalm 39:5
I read in the Bible that
"Life is a but a breath."
A vapour.
The breath
That rests on the cold air of a frosty morning.
Puuhhhffffff.
And in seconds is gone.
I hope the breath of my life will be
Good breath.
Not bad breath.
Seconds
Only.
And I'm prone to the
Halitosis of self absorption.
I hold my empty cup
To you God.
I'm ready to gargle again.
I want
Breath
That won't be wasted
On complaints or criticism.
I want
Breath
That will waft a blessing
On those few other vapours
Who are sharing these seconds with me.
I want my
Puuhhhffffff
To raise a delighted eyebrow
not wrinkle up a nose.
Oh God!
Fill my cup with
That sweet fragrance of Christ.
His vapour was even shorter than most.
Yet,
For the joy set
Before him,
Endured the CROSS.
No complaints.
Puuhhhffffff.
His vapour on earth
Now long gone.
Ascended.
But his fragrance
Remains.
Spread by my joy.
By your joy.
In the seconds we have left.
"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."
II Corinthians 2:14,15
"Life is a but a breath."
A vapour.
The breath
That rests on the cold air of a frosty morning.
Puuhhhffffff.
And in seconds is gone.
I hope the breath of my life will be
Good breath.
Not bad breath.
Seconds
Only.
And I'm prone to the
Halitosis of self absorption.
I hold my empty cup
To you God.
I'm ready to gargle again.
I want
Breath
That won't be wasted
On complaints or criticism.
I want
Breath
That will waft a blessing
On those few other vapours
Who are sharing these seconds with me.
I want my
Puuhhhffffff
To raise a delighted eyebrow
not wrinkle up a nose.
Oh God!
Fill my cup with
That sweet fragrance of Christ.
His vapour was even shorter than most.
Yet,
For the joy set
Before him,
Endured the CROSS.
No complaints.
Puuhhhffffff.
His vapour on earth
Now long gone.
Ascended.
But his fragrance
Remains.
Spread by my joy.
By your joy.
In the seconds we have left.
"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."
II Corinthians 2:14,15
6/27/2002
6/19/2002
Layover in Europe on the way to South America
JUne 2002: Tyler and Cameron in Brugge, Belgium
June 2002: With friends in Belgium
Abigail, Oliver and Brock Wells
6/10/2002
Looni Gives Her Heart to Jesus
So, after my spontaneously invited dinner guests left, and the kids - with one friend over to spend the night - finally fell asleep; after Loonni came home at 10 from her first experience meeting Thai Christians and attending a worship service (Last week we gave her some Thai tracts and a gospel of John, This week I found a Thai church, and took her there this afternoon). She came home to tell me she's given her heart to Jesus and can't sleep she's so excited. Cameron came out for a drink of water and I told him to ask her...
So he says in Chinese, "Loonni? You love Jesus now?"
She touches her heart, "YES! I do!"
He turns to pour the water and says in Chinese. "That's good. But not as much as me. I love him the MOST!"
So he says in Chinese, "Loonni? You love Jesus now?"
She touches her heart, "YES! I do!"
He turns to pour the water and says in Chinese. "That's good. But not as much as me. I love him the MOST!"
5/28/2002
I've Had a Great Day Because...
I've had a great day. Even though my new video player has joined the ranks of our many Asian appliances that don't live much past their warranty, our mailbox today had not one but two packages from Yorba Linda containing WEST WING my favourite show...on video. YEAH!
I've had a great day. Even though part of my day included a cursory perusal through the pile which has accumulated on my desk (and the floor around my desk), I'm happy and busy with "Rainbow Fish" rehearsals.
BUT My efforts have unearthed the following urgent items:
I'll get to it tomorrow.
It was a great day. Even though I took my car in to Honda for the routine 60,000 mile check up yesterday morning and I still don't have it back...(you know standard check: check the tires, change the oil and transmission fluid, check the underside for rust, give it a good waxing and vacuum, and make sure the engine is running properly?) By 5:30PM today they finally returned my calls to say it was ready ($717 total bill - good thing I told them to skip conditioning the upholstery), but I'd have to get to the shop 1/2 hour away within the next hour, and at the time I had a guest over for dinner. I'll go pick it up on my good day tomorrow.
I had a great day because the kids and I took Rascal for a long walk just after breakfast. And even though this intended aerobic walk for cardivascular fitness didn't get my heart rate above 100, even though Cameron pooped out and we sent him up the elevator early, and even though Tyler got smacked in the mouth from walking behind me while I was swinging my arms (trying to get my pulse rate up SOMEHOW). Even though they won't let dogs on the track at the stadium, and I was resorting to calling my sons derogatory names like, "You coupl'a LADIES!" to try to get them to pick up their pace, I finally gave in. Tyler and I ended up just strolling through the park hand in hand enjoying the morning and the fact that he's already 9 and still likes holding my hand, and I've adjusted to the tropics enough that it didn't feel scorching hot, yet.
I had a great day because I find that the boys actually like study time when I'm around. Tyler did 45 minutes of a Chinese revision computer game while Cameron watched. Tyler read and reported from his WHAT YOUR 3rd GRADER NEEDS TO KNOW book (he learned about quilting), and both he and Cameron practiced their penmanship. Tyler told me last week he thought it was impossible for his writing to improve. I told him his writing was bad because I had not forced him to tediously practice his penmanship perfectly when he was in kindergarten (for which he then said, "And I thank you for that!"). So, after I gave him the "PERFECT practice makes perfect" speech, we made an agreement for this first week of the holiday: We're devoting 7 days to building the strength and coordination in their large AND small muscle groups, so along with the morning brisk walks (drags), they've agreed to submitting to daily practicing their penmanship to see if their writing improves. I hope I'm right in guaranteeing that it will.
I had a great day because I finally had an opportunity to treat my Australian neighbor to the pedicure I'd promised for her birthday present...Loonni watched all the kids in the afternoon while Jackie and I had an hour and a half being pampered at the nail shop in the Mall (our Tampines Mall has one of the only 6 nail places I could find in the phone book).
I had a great day because I had a chance to slip into Starbucks for about the 3rd time all year and treat myself to a frappucino WITH whipped cream.
I had a great day because the infamously busy dramatist and Faith Lew came all the way out to our suburbian condo to brainstorm with me ideas of what she can to teach Chinese 9&10 year olds in a drama camp in a Yunnan village next week. I taught her the ideas for teaching English that Tyler and I had used in his kindergarten class in Kunming and she was excited about these ideas for breaking up her standard drama teaching in Mandarin with some fun ways to get kids comprehending English (and it will really impress the regular teacher and parents!). We had a simple meal of some Chicken alphabet soup I'd thrown together and gave Faith our homemade flour tortillas to try for the first time (she loved the Pace salsa almost as much as she liked all the stuff we have hanging on our walls and setting about the house), and then we sent her on her way to her next rehearsal.
I had a great day because after dribbling and shooting practice (in the house on the tiles and against the wall) with our playground rubber ball, I can see marked improvement in the boys only after 3 days. To celebrate, Tyler turns on the electric keyboard to an automatic song, crank it up to the fastest it will play and do some crazy dancing until we're all sweaty and ready for bed.
I had a great day because when we stopped what we were doing because we heard a man's voice (a neighbor) yelling and carrying on angrily, I asked Tyler if my hollering ever sounds like that; and his eyes got really big and he said, "No." I told him that when I hear someone yelling like that I always like to take a minute to pray for the person who's being yelled at, and then for the person doing the yelling, that they will somehow find peace and patience in God's love and through his power.
I had a great day because we turned on the bedroom airconditioner and read more from Corrie Ten Boom's THE HIDING PLACE, and I get to be the first one who enlightens the boys to this kind of Godly courage, and give them their first exposure to that awful war, by means of the people who emerged from the horrors with their strong faith and convictions in tact. We finished the chapter, Cameron had fallen asleep, and Tyler spontaneously threw his arms around me and said, "I love you mom."
I had a great day because I didn't clean a single dish, mop any floors, scrub one toilet, wash or iron one item of clothing, I didn't even make my bed; and yet my house looks almost spotless when I turn the lock on the front door and turn off the living room lights at bedtime. I was teaching Loonni how to cook something and I joked about my being a bad wife because my cookbooks are still so "new" after 16 years of marriage, Loonni told me in her broken Chinese, "Oh, boss-lady, that is not true! You are a good wife! Wahh, I've never met anyone who can do so many things as you!" (when I told Jim this later, he joked, "Yes, and in her 28 years she's met SO VERY MANY people in her village and factory-work experience!" The rat!)
I had a great day because Tyler's last words when the lights were turned out were, "Thank you God for giving me such a neat home." I look around in the dark at their clearly cluttered small room, shut the door of his room and put away a few of the kids books still lying around on the floor by the bookshelf in the hall. This IS a fun house, even though it's just an apartment, even though they have so much homework, even though there's no carpet to wrestle on. There's something interesting to look at, play with, or learn about everywhere you turn. And there's heaps and heaps of love here too.
I've had a great day. Even though part of my day included a cursory perusal through the pile which has accumulated on my desk (and the floor around my desk), I'm happy and busy with "Rainbow Fish" rehearsals.
BUT My efforts have unearthed the following urgent items:
the application for a dog license,
a notice that our foreign worker levy was not automatically deducted from our bank account in April and at the point of the notice, they hadn't received my check (another fallout from the delay with SCEM!),
a notice of a warrant for arrest of the owner of this apartment (I made a call which, though automated, revealed that the arrest was coming from a summons from the Broadcast Authority - an entity we didn't know until this year needed to be paid annually for the license to have a radio or TV in your home),
the accident report for our run in with the motorcylist May 1st (insurance said to file the report at the car repair, the car repair has told me to first file the form with my insurance company),
the rental agreement signed in January that needs to be taken to some office called the Inland Revenue Authority for some kind of official "stamping,"
and the notification forms for Tyler's change of school that needs to be filed at Immigration (I've been there twice, the first time alone, in December, I found out he needed to be with me for a picture and he'd already gone with Jim ahead of me to China for the holiday, the second time was the day I had the car full of kids was in a rush to get one of them back for an appointment and spent my time at the Immigration building in the parking lot exchanging particulars with the driver of the car I hit while trying to park).
I'll get to it tomorrow.
It was a great day. Even though I took my car in to Honda for the routine 60,000 mile check up yesterday morning and I still don't have it back...(you know standard check: check the tires, change the oil and transmission fluid, check the underside for rust, give it a good waxing and vacuum, and make sure the engine is running properly?) By 5:30PM today they finally returned my calls to say it was ready ($717 total bill - good thing I told them to skip conditioning the upholstery), but I'd have to get to the shop 1/2 hour away within the next hour, and at the time I had a guest over for dinner. I'll go pick it up on my good day tomorrow.
I had a great day because the kids and I took Rascal for a long walk just after breakfast. And even though this intended aerobic walk for cardivascular fitness didn't get my heart rate above 100, even though Cameron pooped out and we sent him up the elevator early, and even though Tyler got smacked in the mouth from walking behind me while I was swinging my arms (trying to get my pulse rate up SOMEHOW). Even though they won't let dogs on the track at the stadium, and I was resorting to calling my sons derogatory names like, "You coupl'a LADIES!" to try to get them to pick up their pace, I finally gave in. Tyler and I ended up just strolling through the park hand in hand enjoying the morning and the fact that he's already 9 and still likes holding my hand, and I've adjusted to the tropics enough that it didn't feel scorching hot, yet.
I had a great day because I find that the boys actually like study time when I'm around. Tyler did 45 minutes of a Chinese revision computer game while Cameron watched. Tyler read and reported from his WHAT YOUR 3rd GRADER NEEDS TO KNOW book (he learned about quilting), and both he and Cameron practiced their penmanship. Tyler told me last week he thought it was impossible for his writing to improve. I told him his writing was bad because I had not forced him to tediously practice his penmanship perfectly when he was in kindergarten (for which he then said, "And I thank you for that!"). So, after I gave him the "PERFECT practice makes perfect" speech, we made an agreement for this first week of the holiday: We're devoting 7 days to building the strength and coordination in their large AND small muscle groups, so along with the morning brisk walks (drags), they've agreed to submitting to daily practicing their penmanship to see if their writing improves. I hope I'm right in guaranteeing that it will.
I had a great day because I finally had an opportunity to treat my Australian neighbor to the pedicure I'd promised for her birthday present...Loonni watched all the kids in the afternoon while Jackie and I had an hour and a half being pampered at the nail shop in the Mall (our Tampines Mall has one of the only 6 nail places I could find in the phone book).
I had a great day because I had a chance to slip into Starbucks for about the 3rd time all year and treat myself to a frappucino WITH whipped cream.
I had a great day because the infamously busy dramatist and Faith Lew came all the way out to our suburbian condo to brainstorm with me ideas of what she can to teach Chinese 9&10 year olds in a drama camp in a Yunnan village next week. I taught her the ideas for teaching English that Tyler and I had used in his kindergarten class in Kunming and she was excited about these ideas for breaking up her standard drama teaching in Mandarin with some fun ways to get kids comprehending English (and it will really impress the regular teacher and parents!). We had a simple meal of some Chicken alphabet soup I'd thrown together and gave Faith our homemade flour tortillas to try for the first time (she loved the Pace salsa almost as much as she liked all the stuff we have hanging on our walls and setting about the house), and then we sent her on her way to her next rehearsal.
I had a great day because after dribbling and shooting practice (in the house on the tiles and against the wall) with our playground rubber ball, I can see marked improvement in the boys only after 3 days. To celebrate, Tyler turns on the electric keyboard to an automatic song, crank it up to the fastest it will play and do some crazy dancing until we're all sweaty and ready for bed.
I had a great day because when we stopped what we were doing because we heard a man's voice (a neighbor) yelling and carrying on angrily, I asked Tyler if my hollering ever sounds like that; and his eyes got really big and he said, "No." I told him that when I hear someone yelling like that I always like to take a minute to pray for the person who's being yelled at, and then for the person doing the yelling, that they will somehow find peace and patience in God's love and through his power.
I had a great day because we turned on the bedroom airconditioner and read more from Corrie Ten Boom's THE HIDING PLACE, and I get to be the first one who enlightens the boys to this kind of Godly courage, and give them their first exposure to that awful war, by means of the people who emerged from the horrors with their strong faith and convictions in tact. We finished the chapter, Cameron had fallen asleep, and Tyler spontaneously threw his arms around me and said, "I love you mom."
I had a great day because I didn't clean a single dish, mop any floors, scrub one toilet, wash or iron one item of clothing, I didn't even make my bed; and yet my house looks almost spotless when I turn the lock on the front door and turn off the living room lights at bedtime. I was teaching Loonni how to cook something and I joked about my being a bad wife because my cookbooks are still so "new" after 16 years of marriage, Loonni told me in her broken Chinese, "Oh, boss-lady, that is not true! You are a good wife! Wahh, I've never met anyone who can do so many things as you!" (when I told Jim this later, he joked, "Yes, and in her 28 years she's met SO VERY MANY people in her village and factory-work experience!" The rat!)
I had a great day because Tyler's last words when the lights were turned out were, "Thank you God for giving me such a neat home." I look around in the dark at their clearly cluttered small room, shut the door of his room and put away a few of the kids books still lying around on the floor by the bookshelf in the hall. This IS a fun house, even though it's just an apartment, even though they have so much homework, even though there's no carpet to wrestle on. There's something interesting to look at, play with, or learn about everywhere you turn. And there's heaps and heaps of love here too.
5/20/2002
Mother's Day 2002 - An email heals an old hurt
I want to tell you something about how God prompted you to write me your sweet note on "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY." He has used it in a special way. I think that you'd be blessed by the reminder of how God is working in and through us, and orchestrating the events of our lives and making all things beautiful in his time.
It's a holiday I am particularly NOT fond of because of our years of childlessness. For awhile, before Tyler came, I actually stopped going to church on this particular weekend. Even now I am always so tenderhearted toward the singles who yearn to be married mothers, or single moms who don't have a husband to rally the kids to worship her for the day, and infertle couples who face the unknown of whether God will give them the desires of their hearts. Worshipping on Mothers day is a weekend I'd just as soon skip...and all that hoo haw of the gift giving and recognition!
My MOST painful VIVID memory I recall everytime I even THINK of mother's day. It is something that happened on a mother's day when I was visiting your Sunday School Class years ago before God chose to give us Tyler and Cameron. They were passing the box of corsages, and doing the fussing over the women, and the box went past me without my even touching it. The woman next to me made a flippant comment. She meant it lightheartedly, "Well not for YOU! ....Maybe someday!" but I, in a state of hopelessness felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach and wanted to say, "Maybe Never!"
Here's another MAYBE: Maybe, after your sweet timely email, God can help me not to replay that scene next year, and be able to enjoy the ceremonies of the day!
Dear woman, thank you a million times for your support, care and encouraging words over the years. You are a JEWEL! And thinking about you always makes me smile!
Kimberly
It's a holiday I am particularly NOT fond of because of our years of childlessness. For awhile, before Tyler came, I actually stopped going to church on this particular weekend. Even now I am always so tenderhearted toward the singles who yearn to be married mothers, or single moms who don't have a husband to rally the kids to worship her for the day, and infertle couples who face the unknown of whether God will give them the desires of their hearts. Worshipping on Mothers day is a weekend I'd just as soon skip...and all that hoo haw of the gift giving and recognition!
My MOST painful VIVID memory I recall everytime I even THINK of mother's day. It is something that happened on a mother's day when I was visiting your Sunday School Class years ago before God chose to give us Tyler and Cameron. They were passing the box of corsages, and doing the fussing over the women, and the box went past me without my even touching it. The woman next to me made a flippant comment. She meant it lightheartedly, "Well not for YOU! ....Maybe someday!" but I, in a state of hopelessness felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach and wanted to say, "Maybe Never!"
Here's another MAYBE: Maybe, after your sweet timely email, God can help me not to replay that scene next year, and be able to enjoy the ceremonies of the day!
Dear woman, thank you a million times for your support, care and encouraging words over the years. You are a JEWEL! And thinking about you always makes me smile!
Kimberly
5/12/2002
On "HONK" and Being Different...
I saw HONK! yesterday afternoon with Lucilla.
It's a sweet wonderful new musical about the Ugly Duckling.
Everyone else in the family quacked, and he HONKED!
Wish you could've seen it with me. We would've wept together!
Because of having just talked to you the night before, I was especillay tender toward the mother - she really loved her baby and even though she diddn't really "get" him, she stood up for him to others and went searching for him when he was missing.
Your call meant alot to me.
And then this recurring song "DIFFERENT." The lyrics touched me on many levels...Lucilla sitting next to me, single and an artist in singapore (who's parents are both deceased), my always having been the odd one in our family, Tyler's being the only caucasion in his school and his being forced to study Chinese, and Cameron's having been adopted and the issues he'll have being brown. People are forever asking "Why he so dark what?"
You'll have to see it when it comes around, or pick up the album. It's the kind of show we'd have done at RHCC for dessert theatre - a great message and uplifting! So different than the rest of what's coming across the secular stage these days.
Anyway, Happy Mother's Day.
I love you so much,
and miss you terribly.
Kimberly
It's a sweet wonderful new musical about the Ugly Duckling.
Everyone else in the family quacked, and he HONKED!
Wish you could've seen it with me. We would've wept together!
Because of having just talked to you the night before, I was especillay tender toward the mother - she really loved her baby and even though she diddn't really "get" him, she stood up for him to others and went searching for him when he was missing.
Your call meant alot to me.
And then this recurring song "DIFFERENT." The lyrics touched me on many levels...Lucilla sitting next to me, single and an artist in singapore (who's parents are both deceased), my always having been the odd one in our family, Tyler's being the only caucasion in his school and his being forced to study Chinese, and Cameron's having been adopted and the issues he'll have being brown. People are forever asking "Why he so dark what?"
You'll have to see it when it comes around, or pick up the album. It's the kind of show we'd have done at RHCC for dessert theatre - a great message and uplifting! So different than the rest of what's coming across the secular stage these days.
Anyway, Happy Mother's Day.
I love you so much,
and miss you terribly.
Kimberly
A Bit About Singapore and the Pleasures of Pets
from email with Elaine Bent, Texas
E: You all are on my prayer list, and I pray for you every day. I pray all will continue to be successful and that the bumps in the road will be smoothed out by God.
K: Thank you! This past week was REALLY full of difficult things that I won't go into, and it was a WONDERFUL week of joy and strength. I'm sure because of people praying after I'd send that last email.
E: I finally found out where Singapore is! Malaysia. You are quite a fer piece from China, Lady. I remember hearing about Singapore during W.W.II. And I knew it was Asian. That is all I knew about it. Oh, yes. The Japanese invaded it, too. I assume that in Singapore you are not under threats to be a missionary like you were in China. Since China is so much against missionaries, how do you go to China to teach and not be at risk? I have read about their treatment of missionaries, and you told me how careful you all had to be while you were there. My ignorance makes me afraid for you when you go there. I believe God will be with you, but I guess I am just a coward.
K: Philippians 4:13! Jim just got back last night from being in China - a 10 day trip. Meeting up with leaders of various ministries and denominations there. There are dangers, but there's a real excitement about what God is doing , and the thrill of the sensation of being on the Front Lines rather than in a more supporting role here in Singapore.
Singapore is a city nation - an island -- which has been independently governed for 35 years (used to be under Birtish Rule, and then part of Malaysia), now neighboring countries are really jealous because of Singapore's proseperity and modernity. It's a pretty sophisticated place, an oasis of civiliation in the middle of so many developing countries. Of course, we think it still has a ways to go in their civilizing (as you've read in my many emails!), but it is a remarkable little country about the size and population of say, Houston. They even have their own media - magazines, news, TV shows, movie "industry," Singaporean "stars." For such a little place, they are really into being recognized on the world scene! Kind of a "small man complex" we've got the world's best zoo, airport, largest hotel, largest fountain, even just got in the guiness book of world records for having had the largest line dancing party! Last year a church's community services did a fund raiser and made it in the book for largest tea party (6000).
E: Your boys sound like they have adapted themselves very well to their new situation. I know you are very proud of them. And a puppy! How they must love that!!
K: Our little puppy has brought joy to the boys, but I love that little creature too! Besides Paul, the other woman who is working with me to offer training to church drama teams has two girl kitties at home; her babies. I now really know I'm her friend - she just asked me last night to feed them while she's on vacation (Good thing I have a car! It's still a 20 minute drive, but it is easier for me to do it with wheels than asking someone who'd have to walk or take a bus to her house!)
E: You all are on my prayer list, and I pray for you every day. I pray all will continue to be successful and that the bumps in the road will be smoothed out by God.
K: Thank you! This past week was REALLY full of difficult things that I won't go into, and it was a WONDERFUL week of joy and strength. I'm sure because of people praying after I'd send that last email.
E: I finally found out where Singapore is! Malaysia. You are quite a fer piece from China, Lady. I remember hearing about Singapore during W.W.II. And I knew it was Asian. That is all I knew about it. Oh, yes. The Japanese invaded it, too. I assume that in Singapore you are not under threats to be a missionary like you were in China. Since China is so much against missionaries, how do you go to China to teach and not be at risk? I have read about their treatment of missionaries, and you told me how careful you all had to be while you were there. My ignorance makes me afraid for you when you go there. I believe God will be with you, but I guess I am just a coward.
K: Philippians 4:13! Jim just got back last night from being in China - a 10 day trip. Meeting up with leaders of various ministries and denominations there. There are dangers, but there's a real excitement about what God is doing , and the thrill of the sensation of being on the Front Lines rather than in a more supporting role here in Singapore.
Singapore is a city nation - an island -- which has been independently governed for 35 years (used to be under Birtish Rule, and then part of Malaysia), now neighboring countries are really jealous because of Singapore's proseperity and modernity. It's a pretty sophisticated place, an oasis of civiliation in the middle of so many developing countries. Of course, we think it still has a ways to go in their civilizing (as you've read in my many emails!), but it is a remarkable little country about the size and population of say, Houston. They even have their own media - magazines, news, TV shows, movie "industry," Singaporean "stars." For such a little place, they are really into being recognized on the world scene! Kind of a "small man complex" we've got the world's best zoo, airport, largest hotel, largest fountain, even just got in the guiness book of world records for having had the largest line dancing party! Last year a church's community services did a fund raiser and made it in the book for largest tea party (6000).
E: Your boys sound like they have adapted themselves very well to their new situation. I know you are very proud of them. And a puppy! How they must love that!!
K: Our little puppy has brought joy to the boys, but I love that little creature too! Besides Paul, the other woman who is working with me to offer training to church drama teams has two girl kitties at home; her babies. I now really know I'm her friend - she just asked me last night to feed them while she's on vacation (Good thing I have a car! It's still a 20 minute drive, but it is easier for me to do it with wheels than asking someone who'd have to walk or take a bus to her house!)
5/04/2002
Praying for One Another
From and email to Tambra Murphy a college friend...
I think we ALL ought to do more praying for each other, me included, cultivate that attentive mind & heart to the Holy Spirit's promptings to pray for one another. I don't really understand prayer much, and don't have a "gift" of intercession, but I know some do, and this week I've felt this kind of spiritual weakness. Star Warish kind of weakening of the Force.
Over the years I have always been frustrated by missionaries who through the
way they communicate seem to think that they are the only ones doing "God's
work." I have strong convictions that committed bankers, or real estate
agents, teachers, or grocery clerks, or anyone who "has been crucified with
Christ" letting Christ live in and through them, brings him glory, and
influences others for Truth as much (and sometimes more) than a Bible
translator or church planter who's packed it up and gone "to the ends of the
earth." Every believer hears God's call on their life, and every calling is
different vocationally, but there is no difference in our calling to be
wholly his whatever we are doing!
Blessings & Joy,
Kimberly
I think we ALL ought to do more praying for each other, me included, cultivate that attentive mind & heart to the Holy Spirit's promptings to pray for one another. I don't really understand prayer much, and don't have a "gift" of intercession, but I know some do, and this week I've felt this kind of spiritual weakness. Star Warish kind of weakening of the Force.
Over the years I have always been frustrated by missionaries who through the
way they communicate seem to think that they are the only ones doing "God's
work." I have strong convictions that committed bankers, or real estate
agents, teachers, or grocery clerks, or anyone who "has been crucified with
Christ" letting Christ live in and through them, brings him glory, and
influences others for Truth as much (and sometimes more) than a Bible
translator or church planter who's packed it up and gone "to the ends of the
earth." Every believer hears God's call on their life, and every calling is
different vocationally, but there is no difference in our calling to be
wholly his whatever we are doing!
Blessings & Joy,
Kimberly
5/02/2002
Choosing to be Thankful
I need to persevere in prayer!
We need to keep asking others for prayer as well!
This week I've had an especially strong sense of this.
That realization of our need for Divine protection, and how the prayers of others give us some kind of stronger "covering" or protection.
Surely every believer is dependent on God and need the prayers of others; but being in vocational cross cultural ministry, I think we are especially targeted by the Enemy. He's not happy about our life choices, our wholehearted submission to Christ, or that God is blessing our efforts.
I know I'm preaching to the choir, but it's not enough to be abiding in Christ, and develop spiritual disciplines, and on our own be asking for his power and protection. We need each other!
Perhaps I've sensed this recently because we've been reporting to our supporters how great things are going this year. Maybe they've relaxed in their intercession for us, thinking, "Thank you God that you've brought them through those hard times of adjustment..." We've convinced them that we're not suffering in Singapore, God is blessing the work and "enlarging our territory," and yet...
Yesterday afternoon, we attended a disheartening time meeting the Tampines Cell Group from our church (the first meal with anyone from our church after attending for 10 months). I spent the time at this lunch constantly asking God to give me his love for the other people in the room. In my flesh I was tired of initiating in conversations and meeting for the x-thousandth time timid-yet-proud people; feeling like an alien under slilent scrutiny, bored, critical; and even angry with the other children. They were deliberately ignoring Tyler and Cameron. One boy Tyler's age rebuffed every effort Ty made to initate conversation or play (at one point, all the children got up and walked out of the room when Tyler asked them what they wanted to do). I know this sounds pitiful, but I spent part of the afternoon hiding out in the kitchen/laundry room, wondering how Jim could be so great at mingling, while watching the rain fall out the 11th storey window and holding back the tears. Me. The extrovert. Not anymore.
Jim drove us back to Tampines in order to see a matinee of Spiderman (which we loved and I'm sure was written by Christians), and before parking, we were in another car accident (the 3rd one in less than 2 years, and the second one in the car we purchased 6 months ago). As I opened my door to get out at the curb, two people on a motorcyle were trying to whiz past in the small amount of space between our car and the curb! They ran into the edge of my door, seconds away from hitting me (or Cameron, if he had "hopped out" right when I asked him to). I was so panicked that the motorcyclist was injured, not thinking first of fault, just sick at the thought of how in an instant life can change. I found myself thinking, "And I haven't even made it in to report the last accident yet, let alone paid the attorney $1500 for the damages to the other parties car." "Wasn't I just yesterday telling Jim how scared I am driving with all the motorcyclists zipping around on these roads?"
And then I was suprised by the overwhelming compulsion in my heart:
"I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! I just want to GO BACK TO AMERICA where these kinds of things don't happen with such regularity!!!"
The young man must have thought it was his fault because his knee was obviously in pain, his bike had some damage, and our car obviously will need repair but he didn't want to file a report, or go to the hospital, or even give us his name. We called the police and they just told us to report it to our insurance. The Honda repair guy and I are already on a first name basis after being in for repairs for wrecks and other kinds of freak damage 3 times in 5 months already, so boy is he going to be suprised to see me again.
The enemy was at me yesterday in obvious ways: Rehearsing in my mind what seems like an extraordinarily unusual amount of accidents, mishaps, stolen bikes (and stolen other things...), broken appliances (etc.), sicknesses (that we can't seem to get over), even just a spirit of clumsiness: daily spilling and dropping and breaking things at home... How easy it is to entertain what feels like a justifiable pity party!
But I listened this time to the Holy Spirit and chose to honour God by thanking him, remembering a thankful heart can help us be resistant to discouragement, negative thinking,and cynicism. I realized in amazement how God protected us. How close we came to getting hit by that bike. I was reaching for the handle of the car door to get out 3 seconds before, and decided to turn back to the kids to say something first...
How very thankful I am for that obvious act of protection, and all the other times he protects us unknowingly.
How thankful that so far, inattentiveness or clumsiness results only in breaking a small thing like a new vase before it's out of the wrapping from IKEA, and not a broken back, or worse. The enemy wants me to be fearful, seeing danger everywhere (a new sensation for me), when God wants me to find courage through him, and trust in his protection. And he wants us to thankfully recognize his sovereignty in all things so that when he allows pain, we know it is only his divine joy that will give us strength and joy to not be defeated.
Amen?
Fondly,
Kimberly
We need to keep asking others for prayer as well!
This week I've had an especially strong sense of this.
That realization of our need for Divine protection, and how the prayers of others give us some kind of stronger "covering" or protection.
Surely every believer is dependent on God and need the prayers of others; but being in vocational cross cultural ministry, I think we are especially targeted by the Enemy. He's not happy about our life choices, our wholehearted submission to Christ, or that God is blessing our efforts.
I know I'm preaching to the choir, but it's not enough to be abiding in Christ, and develop spiritual disciplines, and on our own be asking for his power and protection. We need each other!
Perhaps I've sensed this recently because we've been reporting to our supporters how great things are going this year. Maybe they've relaxed in their intercession for us, thinking, "Thank you God that you've brought them through those hard times of adjustment..." We've convinced them that we're not suffering in Singapore, God is blessing the work and "enlarging our territory," and yet...
Yesterday afternoon, we attended a disheartening time meeting the Tampines Cell Group from our church (the first meal with anyone from our church after attending for 10 months). I spent the time at this lunch constantly asking God to give me his love for the other people in the room. In my flesh I was tired of initiating in conversations and meeting for the x-thousandth time timid-yet-proud people; feeling like an alien under slilent scrutiny, bored, critical; and even angry with the other children. They were deliberately ignoring Tyler and Cameron. One boy Tyler's age rebuffed every effort Ty made to initate conversation or play (at one point, all the children got up and walked out of the room when Tyler asked them what they wanted to do). I know this sounds pitiful, but I spent part of the afternoon hiding out in the kitchen/laundry room, wondering how Jim could be so great at mingling, while watching the rain fall out the 11th storey window and holding back the tears. Me. The extrovert. Not anymore.
Jim drove us back to Tampines in order to see a matinee of Spiderman (which we loved and I'm sure was written by Christians), and before parking, we were in another car accident (the 3rd one in less than 2 years, and the second one in the car we purchased 6 months ago). As I opened my door to get out at the curb, two people on a motorcyle were trying to whiz past in the small amount of space between our car and the curb! They ran into the edge of my door, seconds away from hitting me (or Cameron, if he had "hopped out" right when I asked him to). I was so panicked that the motorcyclist was injured, not thinking first of fault, just sick at the thought of how in an instant life can change. I found myself thinking, "And I haven't even made it in to report the last accident yet, let alone paid the attorney $1500 for the damages to the other parties car." "Wasn't I just yesterday telling Jim how scared I am driving with all the motorcyclists zipping around on these roads?"
And then I was suprised by the overwhelming compulsion in my heart:
"I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! I just want to GO BACK TO AMERICA where these kinds of things don't happen with such regularity!!!"
The young man must have thought it was his fault because his knee was obviously in pain, his bike had some damage, and our car obviously will need repair but he didn't want to file a report, or go to the hospital, or even give us his name. We called the police and they just told us to report it to our insurance. The Honda repair guy and I are already on a first name basis after being in for repairs for wrecks and other kinds of freak damage 3 times in 5 months already, so boy is he going to be suprised to see me again.
The enemy was at me yesterday in obvious ways: Rehearsing in my mind what seems like an extraordinarily unusual amount of accidents, mishaps, stolen bikes (and stolen other things...), broken appliances (etc.), sicknesses (that we can't seem to get over), even just a spirit of clumsiness: daily spilling and dropping and breaking things at home... How easy it is to entertain what feels like a justifiable pity party!
But I listened this time to the Holy Spirit and chose to honour God by thanking him, remembering a thankful heart can help us be resistant to discouragement, negative thinking,and cynicism. I realized in amazement how God protected us. How close we came to getting hit by that bike. I was reaching for the handle of the car door to get out 3 seconds before, and decided to turn back to the kids to say something first...
How very thankful I am for that obvious act of protection, and all the other times he protects us unknowingly.
How thankful that so far, inattentiveness or clumsiness results only in breaking a small thing like a new vase before it's out of the wrapping from IKEA, and not a broken back, or worse. The enemy wants me to be fearful, seeing danger everywhere (a new sensation for me), when God wants me to find courage through him, and trust in his protection. And he wants us to thankfully recognize his sovereignty in all things so that when he allows pain, we know it is only his divine joy that will give us strength and joy to not be defeated.
Amen?
Fondly,
Kimberly
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