Welcoming the New Year

What do we do on New Years?

We watched an old movie that covers the year in a life of a family living in St. Louis USA in 1905: MEET ME IN ST LOUIS. We stopped it at midnight to join Singapore in shouting and sparklers and watching the fireworks from the river. We have a great view from the balcony of the apartment where we live now (23rd floor, near Mt. Faber, with a view toward town)

For the holiday, we're all reading the same 2 chapters of Proverbs a day.

We agreed to do it first thing before we got on to other things we're itching to do.

Things like playing on an Xbox360. The boys received one as a gift from grandma and our houseguests, Sally & Franklin, a young Singaporean couple who live in Shanghai. They come stay with us when they're back in Singapore.

I crack open a new journal and get writing what I'm thankful for or what I've learned in the past year. I get really reflective this time of year. I've sent a few sms' to my dear friend Liu Yi Yan in Kunming, China...and I'm missing good friends and family in USA. Do you know this is our 10th year living in Asia? That's why we're going to spend a year in USA starting June. The boys don't know what it is like to be American.

2006 was a slower year for me because of some back/neck problems. I had more time and opportunity to really feel DEPENDENT upon God, rather than just believing in and worshipping him by the way I live. In the way he cared for me in my mind and heart this year -- my soul -- I feel truly loved by him now; not just because "he died on the cross for me." I read a GREAT book this past year. Helps put modern understanding to our Ancient Faith. I've been recommending it to everyone: VELVET ELVIS, Repainting the Christian Faith, by Rob Bell. There's a link in the sidebar to Amazon. Order it! He has also done these short videos called NOOMA (you can watch some of them online). I've only seen a couple, but really liked LUMP and FLAME...

It's going to be a good year.

Christmas Week Collage...

"Playhouse Nativity" The Shepherds @ Grace Assembly in Singapore

"Playhouse Nativity" The Shepherds
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

Sunday the 24th. When I brought in 6 bags with 14 costumes for a spontaneous Pageant complete with Christmas Carols and Kings, these kids told me they'd never played 'dress up.' Well we had a good time and the kids were thrilled with their re-enactment of the story!

A Full Christmas Week of Friends

This is my 12th day pain free! The pain caused by my neck injury stopped the day after sending our last email (with a mention of it for prayer!) 2 nights ago I spent some time in prayer when I couldn't sleep - I woke up and the blues were gone and I had tons of energy.

This is an amazing end of the year compared to our lonely holiday years here. Our 6th holiday season here and usually we've practically nothing to do. It's always the time we miss California the most. December in the States was always full of parties and concerts, outreach and baking, family and friends. A few weeks ago, when one new friend Kay, invited us for a small gathering at their house on Christmas Eve. They are new here -and we talked a few weeks ago about how hard it is to settle here compared to the other "harder" fields they've lived.

How well we can relate! Jim was inspired, "How bout US throwing some parties this year?" So, thanks to evite, we are having a party for about 30 tonight - CRM Singapore colleagues and their families. Some are potential staff! We've been praying that there might be some Singaporeans who'd want to join Jim in ministry by next June - and there are already 3 guys who are ready to start the process of joining CRM and doing mentoring part or full time in January!

Friday evening is going to be a party for artists. I'm touched that they felt comfortable enough asking if they can host a party in our house. These younger single women are even coming here all day to cook a dinner for about 15. We expect more to come by after dinner for the fellowship and sharing. During the day a new friend Stephanie (a music teacher and her kids) are coming by to visit. Sweet. She had us over last weekend for dinner to get to know her family. I've loved the younger friends God has given me here, but there is something mutually beneficial for me to have some peers to learn from about walking through life. I was telling Su Ping (one of the 5 stars) about these new friends and she said, "It's about time."

Saturday Sally & Franklin, a Singaporean couple living in Shanghai, arrive and have asked to stay with us over their family for the holiday, and in the evening a pack of missionary families are coming over for a party.
For lunch another young Singaporean couple who are living in Beijing are coming for lunch. They are SO SWEET.

Sunday I get to do a special Christmas story-telling and teach Christmas Carols with about 35 kindergarteners - including dress up Bible costumes for them. I have felt awkward with the other teachers for the past 2 years of my helping once a month, but this time around, I feel accepted, and part of the team.

If this isn't enough of a shower of friendship blessings, the senior pastor's wife called this week to ask us to be their guests Christmas Night at a dinner put on by some church members. I'm amazed. How did they choose us? We'll come back from dinner with the kids and watch IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE...'cause it is when you have friends.

Sunday Night's

Eating Out One Sunday Evening
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

The second half of this year we have a new family activity: our Sunday afternoon or evening meal finds us exploring the many "hawker centres" around the island. I'm sure between us all, over the years, we've dined at more than 100! Singaporeans love food - and there must be thousands of these tiled over fast food centers with stainless steel stalls selling local dishes on melmac plates. It's been kind of our "Creasman Sunday adventure" but it's actually more because we're broke and these local places are a great bargain! It is kind of fun. And I'm sure we're making memories. No one has gotten food poisoning or hepatitis. But I'm getting a little weary of having stray cats watch me while I eat.

Memorizing more than Bible verses

Last week I decided to audition for a Shakespeare play. I noticed the announcement:
MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM.
Botanic Gardens.
Director: Barry Kyle, former director for the Royal Shakespeare Company.

Though it made NO PRACTICAL sense to audition. It's an Asian produciton and I'm white. I've got a full plate already for next April and May, and I'm in almost daily physical pain.
Strangely I kept coming back to the emailed announcement.
It was like a personal challenge.
Maybe something like when people have this dream of "running a marathon" or "hiking Mt. Everest."
I had this urge to just give it a try.
I don't want to live a life with regrets, so I started memorizing, praying, "Anytime you want to let me know I am being foolish, or shouldn't do this...you can let me know!"

I didn't want to choose just any old good monologue.
Knowing the benefits of memorizing the Bible for wisdom and a sage outlook on life's circumstances, I started thinking about what portion of the Bard's work might "renew my mind."

So I chose 1 minute of the final words in TAMING OF THE SHREW (V.ii). Jim has always called himself my Petruchio; which is more wishful thinking than anything really. Perhaps now that I've memorized these lines, I'll actually be converted:

When a woman is froward, peevish, sullen, sour
and not obedient to her husband's honest will,
what is she but a foul contending rebel
and graceless traitor to her loving lord?

I am ashamed that women are so simple
to offer war when they should kneel for peace,
or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,
when they are bound to serve, love and obey.

Why are our bodies soft, and weak, and smooth,
unapt to toil and trouble in this world
but that our soft conditions and our hearts
should well agree with our external parts?

Come, come you froward and unable worms!
my mind hath been as big as one of yours,
my heart as great, my reason haply more,
to bandy word for word and frown for frown.

But now I see our lances are but straws,
our strength is weak and weakness past compare,
that seeming to be most which we indeed least are.

Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
and place your hand below your husband's foot
in token of which duty, if he please,
my hand is ready, may it do him ease.

When I told the director that my husband would be very happy that I had committed this to memory. He said, "Oh, you tell your husband that he's a pig." I answered, "Oh, no. He's really not!"

I had a good (and scary time) following through with the audition. Those who held the audition were warm (except for the ice woman who checked us in), and the director gave some time to encouraging me after my two pieces. While I was waiting for another friend to show up for her audition time I chatted with some actors in the green room. Just doing it was a confidence builder.

Your Enemy the Devil Prowls About Like A Roaring Lion...

1 Peter 5:8,9 is such a crucial verse to know.
But even knowing it by heart (for more than 20 years) doesn't ALWAYS
guarantee victory in every spiritual battle.

Among a few highlights in a week "taking it easy" 'cause of my neck
pain, my Bible study pondered & discussed the Daniel in the lion's
den story. "WE LIVE IN THE LION'S DEN! Is your sword
sharp?" (Ephesians calls the word of God "the sword of the Spirit")

Then, yesterday I finished doing "steps to freedom in Christ" with a
new believer here.
It took us three sessions to get through it. "Old Scratch" is NOT
happy about my perseverance.

My husband has had a number of events (thailand and here).
The CRM president was visiting recently. CRM Singapore is gaining
momentum.
Jim's preaching again tomorrow.
All this good fruitful work doing ministry helping people have a
focused life and living with purpose...

In the midst of this, today I've felt so discouraged about my worth/
effectiveness and had such feelings of despondency!
Wow. Sometimes the Enemy is so OBVIOUS in his attacks and I still let
him sink his teeth in before wising up!

Permission to be "unproductive" in your Creativity

Had a few visitors from CRM* this week. Two stayed here and three in a nearby hotel. It's always nice to hear more of what's going on in other places with our organization. Enriching to get to know better others who like us, live by faith, are supported by others who believe in us and what we're doing. Nice to meet others who share the values & ethos of CRM. *Church Resource Ministries

I had a chance to chat with Alex & Kat about my undying passion for theatre. Why do i have this bulldog determination to figure out how to practice it as part of worship, in building up followers of Jesus, and in sharing what we've found to be ultimate reality: An all powerful creator and sustainer God who though holy, loves each of us intimately and wants realationship with us! (Okay, maybe I wasn't chatting, I was more like pouring my heart out!)

Kat. sweet quiet Kat. I found her later browsing an art book in the living room. My talking about theatre and what I'm doing or dreaming about stirs up some important part of her GOD'S IMAGE-BEARING SOUL that has not been allowed to flourish. Only recently has she been allowing herself to let her creative spirit out: she's loved making hand made greeting cards. Loves collage. She enjoys the process of creating things. Enjoys. Gets joy in being creative.

But the censors in her life, and memory, and mind shout loudly:

IT'S NOT PRACTICAL! WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF IT?
How unproductive. Spending all this time to make something that no one sees, or maybe one person sees. What's the point of wasting your time on that?

I immediately get defensive and mad. What's the point??!!??? What's the point of doing something you enjoy?!??? What's the point of celebrating creativity and beauty??

So, for Kat and anyone who may read this who needs some reminders that GOD loves to be impractical in his creativity, I'm going to make a list:

• Why is every snowflake, or fingerprint, or strand of dna different? Seems like a lot of trouble to make them all unique! What's the point God? You do it just for fun??!!??
• Who cares about wildflowers of exquisite beauty that blossom in forests or desserts or fields that no one sees? Some are even scented. What's the point?
• Millions of insect species? What's the point?
• Glowing neon fish and unusual mysterious animals in the dark depths of the sea? Where's the purpose in that?
• Why do our hearts soar at seeing some photograph or video of a scene of unspoiled nature? Why is it especially powerful if it happens in real life? Why is natural beauty - creation - beautiful to us? Could it be that it's because we're getting a priviledged view of God's "private collection"? What's the point of having all this nature if no one sees it, or skiis it, or builds a resort near it?
• Why do we have such a natural appreciation for unspoiled nature?

What's the point or purpose of all this nature that is seen only by God?

It's really okay for us to immitate him. Really. It is. Go enjoy making something today that is beautiful but won't last. Enjoy making that meal and consuming it. It's not just FUEL to keep your body running so that you can run back out there and do more practical purposeful things!

Go ahead. Make something.
And don't feel like you have to make excuses for yourself doing it.
God doesn't. Why should you?

My Date with Cameron

Clear View from the Cable Cars
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

It's family blogging night. So I'm doing a bit of blogging too. For awhile now, on Sunday's we've really enjoyed observing a Sabbath. Reading and reflecting. Realizing that even if work isn't done, the earth will keep spinning and we're not as important as we'd like to be. Usually before a dinner of whatever is leftover in the fridge, we have the kids blog about their week. Then we turn the air conditioner in my room and we read to one another. Jim is gone tonight so we won't get the favourite part of this tradition. He reads to us from James Herriott's DOG STORIES.

Jim is gone this week to Chiang Mai, Thailand to help our colleagues Keith & Lori Webb in a week long Coaching Training. It's a first time through this and Keith has been working really hard at putting coaching (his passion) into a format for training ministry people. He's pretty happy that's it's finally happening.

I'm holding down the fort here in Singapore. The Webb children live downstairs, but they've got a very capable helper, so for me it just means a few extra trips driving to school (no carpool partner!) and helping out in case of an emergency.

These days I have a full time referee job between my two boys. I told them, upon their first altercation (over a nerf gun war) that I'd decided that we are going to practice pacifism for awhile this week. No toy guns, no gaming that includes weapons, no warfare of anykind. I'm so cruel (but I'll be they start getting along better!)

Playtime @ the Creasmans

LOTR Battles in Singapore
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

Includes costumes, weapons, and cameras. Tyler had been planning a Lord of the Rings adventure. They did mock battles and played capture the flag in character. Hilarious fun.

What's the POINT?

Driving down the road last Tuesday praying for the 4 year old son of a new friend here who'd had open heart surgery that morning. I had peace. Assurance. The kid was going to make it. I told my firend Lori,

"If that kid dies, then my faith in being able to trust that I can "hear from God" dies with him."

The little boy was in Sunday School 5 days later! 5 days later!!!

But here I am middle of the next week.
I'm off to teach the kids drama club in an hour. Trying to pull myself together.
I started crying last night while i was praying with Cameron for another little child at bedtime. I haven't been able to stop crying for very long. Unless I'm taking a nap. All day today.
I'm a wreck.
It's not even the right time of the month to be this hopeless.
And I've been taking Evening Primrose twice a day.

My newlywed friends' premature baby died this morning.
Born at 5 months. She survived about a week. Born this early she had only a 50% chance of surviving, and then for what kind of a life? A life of special needs,
I kept begging God to be merciful. Trusting he knows best, but whatever he was going to do, if that tiny little girl was going to die, would he just be merciful and end her suffering? He did.

We're still hurting. And will be for quite awhile.
Jim and I will be the only non-family at the cremation in 4 hours.
We were also the only non-family to witness the couple's sacred marriage vows only 5 weeks ago.

I'm reading a great book called VELVET ELVIS by a young pastor named Rob Bell.
Where I am in the middle of this book is good for me today.
Chapter six "NEW" is Helping answer my questions of

"WHAT'S THE POINT? If heaven is where he makes all things new and we live the way it's supposed to be why don't we all just drink the spiked kool-aid today?"

My mantra of late has been "Hang on till heaven." No one's been able to really give me an answer. Oh, that's just Kimberly being dramatic.

Here's a good section from the book about being REMADE:

"I am not who I was.
I am a new creation.
I am "in Christ".
When God looks at me, God sees Christ, because I'm "in" him.
God's view of me is Christ.
And Christ is perfect.
This is why Paul goes on to say, "therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved..."
Did you catch that word in the middle?
Holy.
Not "going to be holy someday". Not "wouldn't it be nice if you were holy, but instead you're a mess". But "holy".
Holy means pure, without blemish, unstained.
In these passages we're being told who we are, now.
The issue then isn't my beating myself up over all the things I am not doing or the things I keep doing poorly; the issue is my learning who this person is who God keeps insisting I already am.
There is this person who we already are in God's eyes. And we are learning to live like it is true.
This is an issue of identity. It is letting what God says about us shape what we believe about ourselves. This is why shame has no place whatsoever in the Christian experience. It is simply against all that Jesus is for. As the writer to the Romans put it, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
None.
No shame.
No list of what is being held against us.
No record of wrongs.
Bringing it up is pointless.
Beating myself up is pointless.
Beating others up about who and what they are not is going the wrong direction. It is working against the purposes of God. God is not interested in shaming people; God wants people to see who they really are.
--------

okay i got carried away on that point. It's good!
But the best POINTS to speak to my WHAT's THE POINT question is the next section:

--------
We can bring heaven to earth; we can bring hell to earth.
For Jesus, heaven and hell were present realities. Ways of living we can enter into here and now. He talked very little of the life beyond this one because he understood that the life beyond this one is a continuation of the kinds of choices we make here and now.
For Jesus, the question wasn't, how do I get into heaven" but how do I bring heaven here?
The question wasn't, how do I get in there? But how do I get there, here?
Whedn people use the word hell, what do they mean? they mean a place, an event, a situation absent of how God desires things to be. Famine, debt, oppression, loneliness, despair, death, slaughter --they are all hell on earth.

Jesus' desire for his followers is that they live in such a way that they bring heaven to earth.

True spirituality then is not about escaping this world to some other place where we will be forever. A Christian is not someone who expects to spend forever in heaven there. A Christian is someone who anticipates spending forever here, in a new heaven that comes to earth.

The goal isn't escaping this world but making this word the kind of place God can come to. And God is remaking us into the kind of people who can do this kind of work.

---------------------------
ah. gotta go see if I can bring a little heaven on earth to a bunch of cute healthy drama kids who did a great job last friday at International Night.

Someone in Need Needs...

Here's a good list from some CRM staff in South Africa who had a crisis recently. Here's their list of what they learned by being on the receiving end of people's care when they were needy.

1. Small acts of kindness make a big difference – A hug, a cup of tea, an offer to help, a listening ear, a phone call, a meal provided, a few simple words of care and concern or a shoulder to cry on, can speak volumes to those who are hurting.

2. Power in your presence – Whether it’s coming over just to be with us, or stopping by to see how things are going, there is tremendous power in the presence of those who truly care. 

3. Words of understanding – It’s amazing what a little understanding will do for the human heart. We received much comfort from the three simple words “I’m so sorry.” Identification with the pain of others is like a healing balm for the heart. 

Sarah & Roy's Medieval Wedding

Sarah & Roy's Medieval Wedding
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

WHAT WE DO AND WHY Letter to a Kindergarten Sunday School Class

There are lots of Christians in America and lots of very good leaders. We liked living in America, but other countries in the world don't have as many Christians. About the time your mom and dad were little kids, God did something amazing here. Thousands and Thousands of people became Christians in Singapore. Their mommies and daddies were not Christians. They were Buddhist mostly. Now there are so many Christians but they don't have many older Christians to help them. We went to Singapore to be helpers of the younger Christians and their churches. If we help them do a better job leading and telling about Jesus, God’s son (and his love for us), more people will find out the Truth, and want to live following God!


Singapore is one of the smallest countries on the other side of the world and is only 42 years old. People say America is a young country and it is over 200 years old! So Singapore is like a kindergarten country compared to many other older countries around the world.


The new Christians in Singapore and their pastors are excited and want to please God. They all want to share with the world about Jesus. But like younger kids, they need someone to help them learn. Singaporeans work very, very hard and the leaders like to be bossy and tell everyone what to do. Pastor Creasman helps them learn how to stay close to Jesus, be an encouraging leader, listen to God, and not work so hard so they can have time for their families.


Pastor Creasman's job is to be a teacher and encouraging friend to pastors and missionaries. He's like a "pastor to pastors." Most of his friends are Singaporean and their jobs are working in churches or starting churches, but some of them are from other countries and are running big companies.


Singaporeans are mostly Chinese and speak Chinese. There are more Chinese Christians here than in any other country outside China! Now, China is the largest country in the world. We believe that someday soon China will be like Singapore: God has been at work in that country and a lot of the people there are becoming Christians. Mr. Creasman prays that God blesses the work he's doing now with leaders in Singapore; then the Chinese speaking Singaporean Christians will be big helpers in China!


Mrs. Creasman also loves serving God as her job in Singapore. She is a lot like your mom. She drives her kids to school. Tyier is 13 and Cameron is 9. She helps the kids with homework & chores. She also does work besides her mom job too. She teaches drama at the boys’ school. She also teaches drama to grown up Christians in a Bible School. God helps Mrs. Creasman make friends with lots of actors. She helps them learn that Jesus can be their Saviour and friend, or that they can grow closer to the Creator and know God more. Some of these actors she meets with every week to pray or learn together. Some of these friends she will come along side when they are having problems and are feeling sad.


The Creasmans have a lot of guests in their home! A lot of praying, and encouraging, and studying, and laughing goes on in their home with all kinds of VERY different and interesting people! They wish you could come to Singapore and be a guest too!

Gotta Laugh at Ourselves Here

Have you heard of the mrbrown show ?

Mr Brown is the latest National Hero for Singaporeans. TRULY! He blogs and podcasts on Singaporean quirkiness/culture. i'm like an evangelist for Mr Brown! Tyler is really into repeating Mr Brown sketches for his friends (and teachers). I've told him
that we should work up a comedy act for Int'l Night...Ha. Come in as a police officer from the precinct where the new school is... giving us all a "welcome to the community," but with gentle reminders of how to behave at the bus stop, hawker centre, Ginza Plaza so that we don't upset the locals in our new neighborhood.

Back and Settled

Back for nearly 3 weeks now. Time enough to get the kids happily settled back in school, get out from under the pile of mail and bills and dust that settled while away. Time to start getting back to the gym to work off those USA calories. Ah. I like having some rhythym to life. Some predictability amidst the chaos. I've already received a parking ticket. I've already made a new dent in the car. I've already taken wrong turns and gotten lost. I've already missed an appointment 'cause I had it down on the wrong date. I've already had 2 people cancel appointments because they didn't realize they were double booked. That's the kind of predictability, the kind of rhythym of chaos I'm talking about. School is Monday to Friday, but what days the extracurricular activites are, and that if I volunteer for something, it will take more than twice the amount of time proposed. That kind of predictability and chaos.

Also time enough to get rolling on work. Ah. I like working. I especially love productivity. Teaching both kids and adults this term. One in a Christian school, one in a seminary. The seminary class starts tomorrow night. I love preparing for it and teaching. Today I met with women who want to do a recital together in October. What an honor to be asked. We have a venue, but the date isn't the best for me. We'll see.

The best part about coming back is that there are friends here to come back to. Sweet friends I've missed while away. A lot happens in 8 weeks. It'll take awhile to get caught up.

Home Soon

We go back this Sunday. Yeah. Time has dragged at break neck speed
hopping between family and church worlds feeling loved and lonely at
the same time everywhere. We're eager to be "home" with physical and
spiritual life feeling more centered.

Vacation Photos on Flickr

Pacific Grove, Monterey Peninsula
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

Here's one of my favourites. Click on the photo collage to the right to see others.

How can we understand the road we travel? It is the LORD who directs our steps. -Proverbs 20:24

We look at each other from across the table. He has a pained expression across his brow. I am defensive. My mouth is drawn in a firm line, and getting fermer. We haven't said a word, but after all these years of marriage, we know this conversation isn't going to go well. We dread it. Both of us. It's past time for a conversation we need to have. Again.

The conversation?

We've got to knuckle down and seriously plan out our "holiday" in the USA. I mean, afterall, we're already 2 weeks into it and the time left is ticking away. We've arranged a few things. The outline. Neither of us are gifted at administration. We have given up verbally wishing for a "Miranda Girl" (the personal assisstants in The Devil Wears Prada) to come rescue us. We feel hopelessly inept but know we have to start organizing our time.

When we're at home in Singapore, we have our gear for productivity ensconced around us, within arms reach or a click away. We do pretty well at keeping the gears between our personal planners going smoothly. BUT, Back in the USA, we're in a foreign land. Oh, sure, we can email and use the internet if we drive slowly down the street looking for a neighbor without encrypted wireless access. In a week or so we'll figure out where we can order a cup of coffee and do it for free, but for now, we're feeling a little out of synch and unproductive.

Who should we call using this new phone cell chip with a (714) number? Who really would like to see us? Who among our old friends would agree to a lunch as a "courtesy visit?" We feel insecure. If we get together with a financial supporter who 9 years ago was just a friend, what do we talk about? Do they want to know how their "investment" is going, or are they interested in us personally? If I do arrange to meet them, or take up the offer to sing in our home church for the Sunday services, what will we do with the kids? Where did I put those phone numbers? What were the dates for that neighborhood VBS? Did they have a deadline? Did I pay ahead of time for that on their website? While horrible things are going on around the world, or we learn of friends and family here who are suffering tremendous personal loss, I feel guilty for not being stronger in the face of these present inconveniences.

I cry out to the Lord for the world and my friends while Jim and I "suffer" through trying to coordinate our calendars; adding a prayer for us. "Lord, you've made us this way, with certain gifts that don't included organizing time with our supporters. Would you providentially orchestrate our time here? We'll do our best, but we need your help."

And that's what he seems to be doing. Day after disorganized day!


For today, I'd organized a sweet day with Andrea Ketcham and Karen Schmidt visiting Mia Moore. She has a booth for her lovely art at the Laguna Beach Arts Festival and this year I get a chance to see it and meet her colleagues there. On top of that, since I wasn't eager to face the traffic back, I got a ticket for the sold out Pageant of the Masters performance tonight. I'd tried to buy the tickets ahead of time in Singapore, but if I had I would have gone with the family in tow. I wouldn't have had the opportunity to make this such a leisurely afternoon getting to know 3 other women artists connected to CRM. If while still in Singapore I'd have known that I was going down there without the family, and bought just one ticket on-line, I would not have bought it in the cheap seats. God knew i would need to leave at intermission to beat the traffic and because I'd be dog tired. If I'd bought a good ticket months ago, I'd have stuck it out to get my money's worth!

That's just one of today's examples of my living out the Proverb: How can we understand the road we travel. It is the LORD who directs our steps.

I wonder what he has in store for us tomorrow.

(check the flickr link on the side for photos of other ways God's been arranging our plans.)

17 Mile Drive, Monterey Peninsula

17 Mile Drive, Monterey Peninsula
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

I've had moments of missing Singapore, but...not many with views and weather like this.

Jerky Perfection

I talked on the phone with a friend who has a number of children last week. She said it's great to raise toddlers when you have teenagers.
one minute you hear that you are a jerk and don't understand anything, and the next some adoring child will tell you that that you are the BEST MOMMY IN THE WHOLE WORLD. She says, "I know I'm not either. But, it is comforting to know I'm somewhere in the middle."

She Just Doesn't Get It

I sit in the immaculate house with white carpeting, and a well kept garden. The gardeners come every Friday. The same day the house cleaner does.

We have another conversation in the livingroom where Jim grew up. FOX News runs in the background and the expensive collectables on all the shelves stare down at me.

I listen to her talk about all her annoying neighbors and the petty business between them all.
“Those people.”
"Yucky _______.”
It's not just the neighbors. The longer our visit stretches, I begin to realize that she has such easy criticism of all the others who get in her way, don't agree with her, or are not the same as us.

And then she talks glowingly about the people of prestige or wealth that she's met or is working with in her volunteer work.

No wonder she asks after dinner tonight,
"So you figure you've another 15 years until you retire? Don't you think you’ll ever move back here for work?”

What I hear between the lines in this and other comments over the past 8 weeks give me the sense that she feels her son’s wasted his career working, even serving, people who don't matter (to her).

I may not be being fair to read so much into it, but I do have a degree of discernment and I get the vibe that he's not living up to her expectations. Actually he's a big disappointment. He's not wealthy or well known. But there still may still be time for him if he gets back to USA; preferrably in Fullerton, CA, and gives himself more of a chance to be recognized for the bright, no, brilliant person that he is. Trouble is, I'm sure if he were the Mayor of Fullerton, or the Pastor of the largest church in town, there would still be other more powerful or influential or visible positions he could have to give her status among the people she believes are important.

It must be so hard for her to have her only son living on the other side of the world doing something that in her heart of hearts she doesn't feel is really worthwhile. She not only is robbed of her family being nearby (which isn't uncommon even if Jim had another career), but she's robbed of the prestige of having her son be "important" in the eyes of others who are "important." I pray that there is still time for her to grow a bigger heart and a bigger view of the world and our purpose in it. I pray for her to begin to grasp God's great love and compassion for ALL peoples, and that God's spirit would infect her heart with that same kind of love.

Father's Day 2005

A deep river called Sorrow
runs through the day's reunion.

The children can play
making their happy waves on the surface
with a bike, a few balls and a stockpile of water balloons.
Carefree, they enjoy a day with new friends.

But
no matter how promising the BBQ,
or plentiful the beer,
the undercurrents of sadness
and our deep sense of loss
pulls strongly at the grown-ups
who try to keep their chins above
the river's flow.

As we struggle for breath
and remind our hearts to take another beat,
cards get signed
and a gift is passed
for the last week expectant
no longer dad-to-be,

today the joy of another's child-on-the-way
is awkward and quenched.
the other 1st time uncle/dad/grandpas-to-be
will have time later to do their hopeful dreaming.

We made it through the day floating together on that river.
We made it mostly because we could find some joy in having so much to
catch up on.

Telling and hearing of missed milestones.
proposals,
weddings,
first houses,
and careers.
What is it like living in the cities that we call "home?"

It's a long wide and deep river.
There are no shortcuts to the journey of grief.
And this Father's Day falls
as early rapids in the river.

Jade Aiden never had to ride this river.
Can a day be called "a journey?"
Yet the baby so quickly here and gone
draws his family together.
There is a new depth of love and appreciation
for each other,
for each day,
and for live
though he so briefly lived.

Dear family,
Another week has gone by still mourning your loss.
And besides our Father's Day gathering,
it's not a journey we get to take with you.
We've made our way up the coast for our family vacation.
My folks are back to Orange County.
You are still on my heart. I think about you often.
The TV shows, the meals get eaten, the world keeps spinning
even when you feel like everything should just stop.

The long wide and deep river keeps rolling.
Please remember to be patient and gentle to yourselves.
There's no instant cure for the pain from your great loss.
Sure, there are loads of little tributaires that lead to dead ends--
diversions or denial keep you out of the white water rapids.
Sometimes you'll feel that you may drown.
Knuckle down and hold on tight.
Others have been down this river before and survived.

Keep holding on tight to one another as you ride through the grief.
Keep a travel log of the journey. Writing is therapeudic.
If you feel like telling me,
Let me know where this river is taking you.

Grace Kindergarten Sunday School

Grace Kindergarten
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

Gonna miss these little cherubs when I'm in USA for 8 weeks. I lead worship with them about once a month.

Managing Summer Media with kids

No more homework, baseball practices, or rigid bedtimes. And, if your house is like my house, no more obvious rules about when media can be on and off. This is a dream for my kids. To me, it often feels nightmarish trying to get them to tune out of their media and tune into the real world.Read the rest of the article here: Common Sense Media Blog

Old School Asian Teaching Style

I recently encountered a foreigner (white man) living here and
working in education who assumed there was an Asian teaching style
that included shaming by teachers, rote memorization for students,
devoid of creativity or encouragment. I'm happy to post here that the
stereotype for an Asian style of teaching methods is most definitely
an over-generalization. Though we've still got a load of problems and
pressure to reach academic excellence, teaching and learning in
Singapore is in many ways state-of-the-art. I was very pleased with
the teachers my kids had here for their first 6 years. There were a
few bumps along the way, but they were for the most part creative
educators par excellence. And they loved my kids! Of course there are
some "old school" teachers still around (wielding rulers for whacking
and shaming kids). But hopefully most of them will retire soon :-)

Self Examination Downloads

Thanks to CRM Conference planners - preparing spiritually for a conference has never been so meaningful. Note I didn't say easy. Take a look at these self-examinations based on St. Augustinen's 7 deadly sins and going over those will most definitely NOT be easy! Self Examination Downloads

A watchman Waiting for the Dawn

Psalm 103:5-7
With all my heart, I am waiting, LORD, for you! I trust your promises. I wait for you more eagerly that a soldier on guard duty waits for the dawn. Yes, I wait for you more eagerly that a soldier on guard duty waits for the dawn. [your name here], trust in the LORD! He is always merciful, and he has the power to save you. (CEV)

I AM that watchman. Waiting for dawn. I long for more specific marching orders from the Lord. But I'm just waiting. And as I wait, I am trying to learn to more truly adore God, to let him be enough to satisfy me. In my inactivity my flesh longs to do something influential with my life.

It's not enough that I am sure I'm sure I'm supposed to work in performing arts, cross culturally, and empower others while enjoying the creative process. Crazy. There's far too many options even having it narrowed down that much. I don't want to settle for "good" by marching out in my flesh to get busy. I want to wait. Be sure. Let God bring on the dawn, and make it crystal clear it's of him and not me.

I prayed together last week with one of the other moderators of our arts egroup. Well, we sat in silence most of the time. Thinking about this verse from Psalm 103. What does it mean to be a watchman waiting for dawn? Just waiting on the Lord for the answers to questions and hopes for my life, and praying the same for you, the artists in Singapore who follow Jesus. One member who wrote back today is in this same place of waiting. I imagine that many of you are.

I really got no answers today as I imagined myself in that watchtower. I'm not really one for visions, but it wasn't hard to imagine looking out into the blackness of night over a vast dark plain of desert. I could imagine watching the east for the sun to rise. And as it did, I saw what there was to see for now:

The only thing that was there was the sillouette of the cross on the horizon. And that's enough. It really is. I'll keep waiting with the song that sprang to my heart as soon as I saw it:

Forbid it Lord, that I should boast
Save in the death of Christ my God
All the vain things that charm me most
I sacrifice them to your blood.

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

my post script to this post can be found at:
http://journeyofdesire.blogspot.com/2006/05/post-script-to-watchman-post.html

Sleepless in Singapore

Coffee at 9pm. what was i thinking? I knew when I was drinking it it would ruin the chances of a good night's sleep.

Been getting to know others through their blogs this week. Will soon be attending the CRM conference in Santa Barbara, so I've been reading up on Consecration and checking out websites and blogs of others in CRM. It's the high tech way of getting to know someone without talking to them. Kind of like sizing a person up when you visit their home by looking at the books they have on their bookshelves. Our president, Sam Metcalf, (http://www.undertheiceberg.com) has a cool site. It was actually DESIGNED by someone (versus me, I just use a google template...and, uh yes...of course...I'm not the president of an organization). All kinds of cool little tricks like links to books... I've always been a sucker for gadgets. And now I'm just the same in my life online. I love learning about little gizmos (as long as I never have to learn how to use/write htm and can just cut and paste!) I've just added a new one tonight - the common sense media link on the side bar here.


Got to do a fun thing on Mother's Day this year: A couple hours in the afternoon shooting a little video for a company called Muvee. Do it yourself EASY home movies to dvd. They've given me a demo of the software but haven't tried it out yet... I was successful in making my own little dvds for my mom and mother in law with my ibook this year. So, that made doing this little acting job extra special. "What a great video!" i said to the camera (not straight on the director directed cause I look too intense), "You know, you could do this yourself too. Check it out. " http://www.muvee.com/

okay. that's enough. i'm going to bed.

Stephen Curtis Chapman Concert

Last night we had a special treat that beats our free tix to the
sold out cello recital a few weeks ago:

Stephen Curtis Chapman was in town, stopping by from Australia and the Philippines on his way to China. This Christian songwriter/musician has won over 40 Dove awards. That's more music awards than any Christian musician in history. Both his lyrics and his music are wonderful. He looks way too hip to be my age.
If you haven't heard of him, get an album. Any album.
(And where have you been for 20 years?) My favourite is Signs of Life...
but this one is newer and also INSPIRED.

The hosting church didn't advertise since the tickets for 2 concerts were snatched up by the congregation. I think the auditorium must hold 1500+. Lori Webb called the church, and kept calling until she got a person, and then she begged for 5 tickets. We got them. 5th row center. Free. We took our 3 boys. Awesome concert. Cameron and Lori's son Benjamin (also 9) were rocking out LOUDLY. I loved hearing his stories behind some of the songs. They've adopted 3 Chinese daughters.

Tyler was his usual stoic. But his excitement seeped thru. I could see him craning his neck to get a better view of how SCC was playing the guitar chords and fingering the songs. Then when Chapman started singing "All About Love" his face lit up and he yelled in my ear: "I was waiting for him to sing this one!!!"

Cameron was so cute, after it was over he asked if he could pray. So he lead us: "Dear God, we had a really good time tonight and I know you're really happy with how loud we were with so many people singing about how much you love us. I hope you had a good time too." What a treat.

When I made a new year's resolution to pray for more faith and more miracles this year, I didn't mean for them to be SELFISH miracles! God is lavishing his love on us in ways that are easy to see and feel.

I imagine I'll have the "post show blues" from soaking up and singing along full voice with such great live music. Oh how I'd like to have more good music in my life. It's something I probably took for granted growing up singing and all those years at RHCC. I don't think about it too much but I'm probably creatively malnourished without an outlet for singing.... I should sing more. I'm going to have to crank it up on the stereo and cut loose. It will probably help chase my blues away.

Kids are having sleepovers with 3 friends each. Cameron tonight, and Tyler Friday night. They love watching movies on our bed. I want a wall in my bedroom office so that I can have a testosterone free zone in the house (just kidding I really love it).

A Whole New EXPAT World

Last year my relationships were almost exclusively with Singaporeans. This year, my calendar is filled with almost exclusively expat engagements.

My social world has nearly completely changed by switching the kids to the International Community School, and having our CRM friends the Webbs move to Singapore. Another 2 variables to the change is that I had to stop going to Tapestry Playback rehearsals or doing any local productions because of needing to get my back healed (trying the chiropractor and it seems to be working), and the 5 star group decided early in the year to discontinue our weekly meetings.

I feel so loved and affirmed and accepted in these new relationships. It is so nice to have someone let me know they've missed me when I wasn't there. Or to receive a thank you note for this or that, or immediate positive feedback when I've done something hard, or sacrificial, or that took my time to prepare. I'm wondering how much of it is imagined just because this new cirlce is culturally similar to me.

By the obvious contrasts these new strokes are, I'm thinking perhaps that the culture I've been trying to make my home and friends in the past 6 years just doesn't like me very much.

Or is that something that the Enemy wants me to believe and isn't true at all.

I did get a call after Easter from Joni, who's moved to Australia.
Su Lynn and I had a sweet lunch together a few weeks ago.
Sally, who's moved to Shang Hai always makes sure we get together when she visits home.
Yaen Cheng has invited us to Chinese New Year celebrations ever since we moved here and is a dear, generous friend even with juggling career and two babies.
Melissa and I had a wonderful lunch conversation 2 weeks ago.
It was ME who didn't make enough effort to see Agnes when she was back on her visit from London (could it be a subconscious rebellion because so many of my best new friends have moved away?)

Yes. I need to ignore that 'self talk' that tells me Singaporeans don't like me.

Perhaps they show their care in ways that I'm not seeing.
Or they are simply very busy.
Or perhaps they don't know how to nurture deep friendships.

It's tempting to give up on taking initiative and pursuit of friendships with Singaporean women. It would be so easy to be swept away into a life that circles around a membership in the American Women's Association. I admit, it is a powerful draw.

But if I give in to that temptation, then the whole point of moving to Singapore is lost. In the same way Jesus didn't move down to earth to serve and teach mankind and then keep hanging out with the angels, we didn't come to serve in Asia just to hang around other American Christians.

Finished it 2 weeks ago.

I was so jazzed about it, I read the extensive AUTHOR'S NOTE aloud to Jim. My son Cameron, who is 9, is reading it now. He's really loving it. The whole time I was reading it I kept thinking, "She's really inside the head of an 8 year old who's trying to figure out his world." Hope I don't mess up his head between fact and fiction on what we know to be true from the Gospels and the rest of the immaculate research she did.

DaVinci code opens here in 3 1/2 weeks, so I'm rejoicing that a BETTER author than Dan Brown looked into the conspiracy theories (and a lot of other theories) and found them severely lacking any evidence. NOW her intellectual brain has submitted to this Lord and hse is writing about it for all of her vampire following (and others to read). Yeah!

I've Joined a Bible Study with Expat Women

(after nearly 9 years, i've rediscovered my 'tribe,' a place where i feel at ease and that i fit in)


Doing a great study this year with some lovely women from St. George's. The author of the study, Beth Moore, was a victim of child abuse and this lesson from week five speaks to this issue. As I worked on the lesson this morning, I thought about many of my friends in theatre. I was asked to lead the last two weeks. What fun. I get to do it again this week and next.

Here's a bit from Day 3 of Week 5

Satan wants to keep people from receiving Christ as Savior. Certainly, childhood victimization is an effective deterrent since many victims feel they "cannot believe in a God who could let such things happen." If only they knew how anxious the Father is to heal and vindicate! The enemy can try to keep them blinded.... Since the enemy cannot keep salvation from anyone who wants to believe, he tries to insure that they will be either too emotionally handicapped to turn into an effecctive witness, or perhaps better yet, to driven by destruction to avoid scandal. The enemy's hope for Christians is that we will either be so ineffective we have no testimony, or we'll ruin the one we have.

And from the end of the lesson, here's a beautiful letter from God (based on what we know about him from the Bible). Put your name in the blanks.

My child, _________________, I loved you before you were born. I knit you in your mother's womb and knew what your first and last words would be. I knew every difficulty you _______________ would face. I suffered each one with you. Even the ones you didn't suffer with me. I had a plan for your life before you were born. The plan has not changed, _______________, no matter what has happened or what you have done. You see, I already knew all things concerning you before I formed you. I would never allow any hurt to come into your life that I could not use for eternity, _______________. Will you let me? Your truth is imcomplete unlesss you view it against the backdrop of my Truth. Your story, _______________, will forever remain incomplete...until you let Me do what only I can do with your hurt. Let Me perfect that which concerns you.

I remain,

Your Faithful Father.

WISH LIST from 2004

Just came across my wish list for a new home. God was so generous to us. I think we have everything on the list...

Open spaces nearby
Big shade trees around
Doesn't feel boxed in
Near an MRT and Library
Near town
NO CONSTRUCTION
Lots of light indoors
air con in all or most rooms
access to cable (for internet and tv)
1600+ sq ft (we have almost 4000!)
3-4 bedrooms
near water, a view of water be nice (how about an ocean view from every room?)

We're all back this morning from meeting and staying with our helper's family 45 min north of Udon Thani in NE Thailand. A great trip. Learned some Thai. New perspectives. Softer hearts. Questions for God about the poor.

Compassionless in Our Impending Visit to Thailand.

We leave Saturday for a visit to rural Thailand. An hour or so bus ride from Udon Thani. Or so we hear.
It's not the typical family vacation spot. But this is where we're going for the kids' week school break. From Singapore, it is relatively inexpensive to fly to nearby SE Asian countries, so let's go for it.

This is the poorest part of Thailand. Farmland. No, not all of Thailand is BEACH RESORTS.
We're not sure if where we'll sleep will have mattresses let alone pillows. We're trying to decide whether to take a can of RAID to spray on whatever it is we do sleep on.
But we're excited.

We're going to meet the family and freinds of our dear helper LOONNI. She's been there for 3 weeks now. Deciding whether to stay with them or come back to work for us. It's a hard decision.

Before she came to Singapore, she'd never met a Christian, let alone heard how much Jesus loves her and wanted to give meaning to her life. She learned and believed that Jesus also gave her hope that the good parts of life here on earth are just a sign of the wonders to come in an eternal life with no pain...no poverty. Now she wants to share this Good News with her family and friends from her village. We don't think there's another church within hours of where she's from. We want to do what we can to give her claims a little more backing. Her claims of having "new life" from this Jewish Savior who lived 2000 years ago and claimed to be the Son of God.

Interesting that this remote place we're going is possibly near where the NE Thailand boy lives who we've been sponsoring through Compassion for the last 6 years. More than 4 weeks ago I wrote to Compassion to find out if there were a way to find out where exactly "Hathai Christian Banklang School" is. If we're going all this way, and it's VERY unlikely that we'll go again, wouldn't it be nice to have a chance to meet in person? It's probably not very often that sponsors just happen to be "in the area." Surely they'll be helpful in letting us meet him...

I get an email back from Compassion:
Hello Friends. Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, we cannot
arrange a child visit that quickly. We do need about 6 weeks notice to
arrange a visit. Please go to our website www.compassion.com to find
information about personal visits and upcoming tours.
blah blah blah.

That settled that. The answer was "NO." I don't have time to keep writing emails. Something told me that it would prove pointless in the end, and I'm over my head busy trying to keep up with ministry obligations AND all the work that Loonni normally helps with (like line drying all the laundry...I know, I know, poor baby, doesn't have her maid for a month!). Anyway, a web search for tracking him down proved fruitless. So, it doesn't look like Watcherin Kumkhert will meet the family who's been sponsoring him, and writing him the past 6 years. I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday. I know that it would take SOME arrangements on behalf of Compassion staff, but why would it take 6 weeks if we are arranging all the travel and will get there ourselves? I asked my husband. He had an interesting reply:

"Well things like this take time." He said. "Besides the expected arranging of a host to meet us in town and then go with us to the school, they would have to first send a scout out to that area of Thailand to find a kid who looks like the one in our picture. Same height. Approximate age. This could take a week or so. Then, once they've found him, they would have to go to a nearby school and bribe the principal to agree during our visit that the school is named Hathai Christian Banklang School..."

I smile. Jim's so funny sometimes.

"Then they would have to make all NEW signs to cover the REAL school signs. Another week or so."

Uh huh.

"And then they'd have to pay someone to go over our pictures with the kid to make sure he knows who we are and gives the right responses."

I told him that I was going to blog this conversation.

"All these things take time Kimberly. You can't just SHOW UP to see your kid."

Ah well. God is sovereign. Compassion is a good organization (even if more than half of what we give in sponsorship goes to overhead/administrative costs for people to do things like answer a sponsor's emails) We've got plenty to trust the Lord about on this crazy trip without the added leg of finding Watcherin.

Bless him Lord. Help him stay on track in his studies. Help him to grow up to truly follow you and be a leader to help his people out of spiritual bondage and poverty. Thank you for Compassion and other organizations like them who are doing what they can, and the best they know how, to eliminate wretched poverty on this planet. In Jesus name, AMEN.

I'm Blogging a Sports Article?

Autistic high schooler scores 20 in debut - Other Sports - MSNBC.com
Oh my goodness. This article of one of lifes GOLDEN MOMENTS brought tears to my eyes. Wow. It's great to be alive and part of the human race.

Chiropractors

Okay. It's been 17 visits now to a local chiropractor. Three times a week is a hefty commitment. Especially when I haven't started to experience any payoff.

Six weeks ago I saw the proof of "subluxation" in the xrays. I really don't want to get calcium deposits and bone spurs in the places where my neck bones have gotten out of whack. Yes. Yes. I want to get that healthy curve back in my neck! So I've signed up for the GOLD FAMILY PLAN to get the $70/visit cost reduced to $50 and and I'm trekking to CHIROPRACTIC CARE downtown mid-day on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays.

My husband is cheering me on for pursuing and sticking with a remedy for chronic neck & shoulder pain, but he remains a ROYAL skeptic. He got a free consultation with the GOLD PLAN. The kids did too and they thought it was really COOL! However, Jim is sure that Dr. Mark injured him while checking the flexiblity in his neck. Every morning since he went in, he tells me his neck still hurts.

He imagines this is what Dr. Mark was saying to himself.

"Oh, so you don't think you need a chiropractor?
(he puts his hands around Jim's chin)
We'll...(twist)
...just...(twist further)
...see about that!! (crack!)"

The part that's started to make me dubious is that I am not given any advice but "KEEP COMING IN...YOU'RE DOING GREAT TO BE REALLY FAITHFUL TO YOUR APPOINTMENTS."
as they chock up another $35 for 3 minutes spent on making my neck and back make more popping sounds (or not).

If I'm this motivated to put my active life on hold to get better, then I want to know about whatever else is going to aid in my healing (diet? exercise?). But supposedly that's what's coming after the first 8 weeks of adjustments...after my spine is where it should be.

I'm feeling like the guy who met Jesus and wanted his kid to be healed.
"If you can make him well..." he said to the Master.
Jesus confidently said, " 'If?' Dude. You've got to Believe."
and the guys says, "I do believe. Help my unbelief."

Problem is. With 'belief' we need to know that what we're putting our faith in has credibility...so because I'm faint of heart, I spent some time on the web reading up on physical therapy for whiplash and feedback on chiropractic care to give myself a little extra encouragement. All I come away with for sure is that I now have a greater chance of getting a stroke. I'd better keep reading.

I've already got the GOLD PLAN and I've committed 5 weeks already. Gonna stick with it and see what happens.

But I'm going to start taking a daily aspirin to thin my blood in case on of those thrice weekly neck pops wants to send a blood clot to my brain.

Highlight of the Week: Family Night

How do I I teach my children to write well in English? Even Cameron's teacher is giving him notes on his papers like, "What can I do to get you to write neatly?" And I'm wondering on top of this, "Can he put together an interesting sentence? Without a misspelled word?"

We're getting them to blog! A few years back, it started as "Family Reading Night." After a meal of the week's best leftovers (or popcorn if there's nothing else to eat), we read to each other. We pick highlights of what we've been reading the past week and take turns reading for up to 15 minutes each. It's been a sweet on-mom-and-dad's-big-bed family tradition for awhile now and this year, we've added new components.

First we review Chinese Characters together with Clavis Sinica, a new progam Jim found. Our apartment has a big screen in the living room, which makes what could be mundane into something fun for the family.

After Chinese review, we do some blogging. That's why I'm sitting here. The kids are writing an essay on the highlight(s) of their week, and I'm waiting to help them post it, or answer their, "Mom, how do you spell..." occassional questions. Once this is done and the showers are taken, we finally get to have our reading time.

Tonight we got a late start since Tyler was with 2 of his Singaporean buddies for the afternoon. I'm so glad he's keeping up with their friendships. An answer to prayer, so we didn't mind putting off our family time together in order to give Bob a ride home from Ben's and have some extra time with him in the car (even if it was mostly Cameron annoying them, and Tyler and Bob listening to an MP3 player!)

My Domestic Side

I hated cooking until I moved to China in 1997 when having a "helper" made me realize I merely hated all the clean up!

After 12 years of married life, my mother and mother-in-law had nearly given up on me as one who could produce anything edible from the kitchen. But when we left the states, the challenge of making a comfort food while living in China surfaced my domestic side.

Nearly all my favourite recipes come from a Wycliffe International cookbook that was put together in 1989 with the intention of it being used by people (mostly Americans) living in other cultures. It is out of print now but it has been the best general help to me and I always turn to it first for answers. I write the dates next to recipes and little notes about who likes it, etc. It is dog earred, stained, marked up and is probably one of the things I'd grab after my kids & my laptop in case of a fire!

It's funny that I'm writing out recipes today for the ICS cookbook. Tomorrow night, the Wycliffe friends who gave me the book for a wedding gift (which I didn't use for the first 12 years) are coming thru Singapore and staying with us.

Someone Asked if I'm a Homeschooler & the latest News

Yes. I'm a homeschooler during my children's waking hours OTHER THAN the 7 hours they spend each weekday in school!
(I imagine to REAL homeschoolers this is a cop out, or that I'm cheating somehow.) I want my home to be a VIBRANT CENTRE FOR LEARNING. But I can't do it full time with the sole responsiblity of educating them!

Since August, the boys are now attending International Community School near Mt. Faber (we now live a 10 minute walk from the school) It's a Christian International school and parents are very involved. one class per grade level with about 15 kids per class. Small. Nice. Our 6 years in Singaporean schools were good for us too. But it was the right time to switch them over to an American curriculum in a Christian environment.

I do a weekly drama club for about 16 of the kids from 3rd to 8th grade, have 2 groups of artists who are doing book studies for spiritual and character development and attend a women's bible study with expat ladies from St. George's Church (I realized lately that I have not been in regular fellowship with PEERS for 8 years! It is nice to just be a part of a group of wives, moms, Christians in their mid 30's or older, and mostly all "westerners"...MY TRIBE)

I'm also "consulting" with a new theatre practitioner friend; a catholic gal who's doing a devised piece of theatre on DESIRES with 2 other women who are not Christian. She wants the piece to ultimately point people to God, but also needs to resolve some of her confusion about her own passions and desires. Challenging!

Besides that the only regular "work" i have is going to the chiropractor 3 times a week. Started in January. Praying for healing in my spine. Mostly in my neck where it is out of place and causing irritation to my nervous system.

Our helper, Loonni, is going back home for a month in 2 weeks, so I've not taken on any other "work" 'cause I'm going to be the housekeeper/cook here for awhile. Give me a dose of "real life for moms." I've been so SOOO fortunate to be able to pursue relationships and theatre as a ministry with her doing all the housework. But for a season, that priviledge is going on the shelf.

Our family will take a trip to her village on the 4th week (when she's making the final decision whether to come back or not). We offered to come up to see her there and help her share the Gospel with her family and village. She never met a Christian or heard about Jesus before coming to Singapore. So we're praying that thru the grace of God, showing the Jesus film in her language (Isan) and introducing her and her family to other Christians we're trying to find in her area, that they will become followers of Jesus too. We're also praying for God to make his will known to her about her future. Of course we want her to come back with us (and anyone who's met her wholeheartedly agrees that she is a JEWEL!) but above that, we want what God wants for her.

My Confessions at Bedtime Prayers

I blow it with my kids all the time. But there is something I do with my kids that is very rewarding and a lot of Christian parents haven't made this a regular part of their parenting and it's easy to do: bedtime prayers.

Each night that I'm home at bedtime, my husband, James or I (or both of us), will pray with our boys at their bedside. Sometimes we'll all pile on their beds together. Over the years, it's been a sweet family time. It's also been a place where I think my kids get to hear my heart in a way that doesn't take place over meals, homework, chores, or errands or lessons.

On days when I've not really been a "victorious Christian mother," and if I've been convicted about it, this snuggle time is also a time when I confess to the Lord where I've blown it as a parent and my children are listening in (adding "AMEN!" just kidding!!) Sometimes I pray for the child's emotional healing if I've said harsh words that cannot be taken back. I speak of my thankfulness for the child's positive qualities, listing them, as a blessing on them. Most times I thank God that he never blows it, is always patient and is always a perfect judge, or knows the right answer. He, not I, is the perfect parent. I always, thank God for letting me be their mom even if I make mistakes, and ask Him to use my being their mom to mold my character and make me more and more righteous and good.

Regular bedtime prayers is an easy place to fall into "Christianese" (jargon) and let the prayers become "rote." So, I purposely don't pray the same thing all the time (thank goodness I don't have to have major confessions everyday!). Sometimes I'll even let the kids in on my questions of God, and how I don't understand the hows and whys of suffering, or poverty, or or or. I believe it's freeing for both me and my kids to have me admit that I'm not perfect and that I have questions.

I think this is part of the reason my kids really open up during this bedtime ritual. Sometimes I get to hear things that are on their hearts that they wouldn't ordinarily share. Because they open their hearts to the Lord in my presence, I can then pray for them other times knowing what's on their deep heart.

My boys are 13 and 9. I wonder if there will ever be a point when they don't want to pray with us at bedtime, or will become rebellious and sullen through the day and unwilling to confess their sinful attitudes at night. I might be able to make them apologize to another person, but I can't force them to do it with the LORD! For now, it's the highlight of being a parent for me.

Cameron, my 9 year old tells me nearly every day that he "can't sleep without the prayers or your sweet kiss." Tyler, now 13 years old, won't always tell me when he's going to bed, and I lose track of time sometimes; but he seems to still love it when I remember.

Family at the Shangrila

Family at the Shangrila
Originally uploaded by K!Mberly.

Having a great time with Mom and Dad here for Chinese New Year. First time living in the Chinese world to have Chun Jie with Family here.

Sports Mama

I've been a mom for more than 13 years now, but today was the first day a child of mine played a game for an organized school league. He played SACAC baseball one year in 2000 but (I'm sorry mom) baseball is boring! I was so frazzled from being new here and taking cabs to practices 45 minutes away, I just don't count that. It's not as in-your-face a battle as a basketball game. I'm reading WILD AT HEART and I'm excited to see my kid becoming a warrior.

I was one loud cheerleader on the sidelines for the U14 basketball team he's playing on with other kids from ICS. So much fun I've been missing out on while putting the kids in Singaporean school. In the last 6 years they gave badminton and ping pong a try for their Extra Curricular Activities! He's just turned thirteen this month and it was so fun to see him get assertive on the court - a side of him I only see when it's being bossy or annoyed with his little brother.

Cameron and I were so proud of him. GO TYLER!

I can't believe it! Thirteen already. I love this kid. I'm reading WILD AT HEART to celebrate this rite of passage for him.

Reflecting on 2005

This year I learned to…
Understand others and myself better by taking an Intro to Counseling course, a DISC course, and reading Now, Discover Your Strengths.

Another way I saw myself growing was…
Keeping my opinions to myself. Being more open minded. Not needing to convince others or be understood. Listening better. Being part of a team. Not always successful, but I have learned to keep my mouth shut and my ears open just a bit more. Still loads of room for growth there!

A real gift from God was…
A November retreat in Cameron Highlands with the COOS drama team. Doing enacted prayer with them and having sweet anonymous notes.


Something I really enjoyed doing more of was…
Playback theatre rehearsals when we shared through long forms about our lives and influential experiences.

One of the happiest memories I’d like to freeze in my mind…
Just about everything about our June/July in USA:

Camping at Doheny with old friends, being with Linda while she was sick - seeing my children make good friends with the children of my childhood friend. Time with the in-laws. Time in Georgia. A family reunion in Tennessee. Hearing my cousin Ryan Anthony play trumpet as a guest artist in an off the beaten track concert (I never thought I’d get to hear him play live!)


I was really brave when…
I spoke in my parents’ Sunday School class this summer. Any speaking “engagement” is terrifying for me. I did it once last year, and twice this year.

We signed the lease for the new apartment. Can we really afford it, even if it is a great price? It is a stretch. Will people think badly of us as “missionaries” living in a beautiful place?

Something I’m looking forward to in this new year…
Feeling settled, and enjoying the view with new and old friends. Enjoying my husband and children. My parents are coming to visit. Getting more organized and efficient. Reading some good books and learning more. Having opportunities to share life with others.