Cameron's 6th Birthday(s)

2002 December: Cameron's birthday party in California CHECK E CHEESE! Cousin Cade, Cody and Karissa Mitchell there to celebrate too.


2002 November: Celebrating Cameron's 6th birthday early at his kindergarten - Rainbow Fish and Star Fish come for a visit!

2002 Halloween: suave Cameron and neighbor friend at the Pizza Parlour across the street from where we live.

Reflections on 9/11 in Singapore

What hurt so badly those days was that in the FIRST week of September 2001 I'd had
neighbors and their children in my home making lanterns for lantern festival, and having tea, and getting a group together to go swimming. Then 2 days later, nothing but the twin towers collapsing was in the news and I felt like we were invisible in our neighborhood.

EVERYONE in the world was watching it on TV and talking about it for days on end, and watching and reading how the world was reaching out to their American friends around the world in this time of pain...

Everyone in this town knows we're Americans (They also know how much rent we pay, and that our boys speak Chinese, etc.). Yet NO ONE in Tampines looked at or spoke to me, for a week! On a National scale, when something was put together publically to memorialize those who died (held at National Stadium), it was the American Association who organized it. The Singaporeans did not know how to or didn't value responding with compassion.

At first, because of how painful it was personally, I was angry. Almost hateful. We were so pitifully needy, we all wore t-shirts that said AMERICA to church the following weekend. We wanted people to know we were Americans, hoping someone would speak to us after the service, but no one did. NO ONE! I wanted someone to bake me a casserole, or at least say, "Wow, I'm so sorry about what happened in your country. It's really tragic." But there was just this icky SILENCE.

When people finally said something it was,

"Did you know anyone who died?...NO? Oh, that's good."

(GOOD???)

or

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything, we were all THINKING ABOUT you, I just
didn't know what to say."

Over the months, my anger turned to pity, to compassion. I started looking out my HDB windows to the hundreds of windows within my view, thinking about what kinds of unprocessed pain hides behind these doors. It has grown in me a deeper compassion for the people of Singapore. Going through this painful expereince taught me in a deep way how people are emotionally and socially incabable of handling greif. Mine was deep, but still not entirely personal, or life changing, BUT how much more painful, and "disfunctional" for those who live ALL around us who cannot process the Japanese occupation, or poverty, or loss of a loved one, or abuse, or miscarriage, or infidelity, or retrenchement, or, or, or.... I think I'm much more compassionate for having gone through the post 9/11 experience in a cold country.

To be completely fair: I'll have you know that two friends did call the day of the tragedy, and when I was talking with dear Nora Neo about a week later, she made me a pie! I am so thankful they did. I think if NO ONE had, I may have given up! I may have forced Jim to take me back to the comforts of home (or Tarshish, like Jonah and run from His clear call to be here).

I believe that in time, we are going to LOVE Singapore, not just from our WILL, but by the grace of God with ALL our HEARTS.

What I'm Looking For in a Cell Group

to a friend we've been meeting with bi-weekly

You've done SO MUCH to help Jen and Lawrence in their whirlwind of getting to China, and setting up their life there... Come to think of it, seems like you help everyone you know! I can't help but thank God for you everyday when I look around my home at all the beautiful things you gave or loaned to help us settle. I imagine that all the work, and leading, and helping you do is exhausting. Not to mention that you've pushed on after the emotionally and spiritually draining & disappointing stuff with the staff couple you had to let go last year (and probably heaps of other interpersonal issues I don't know about). You are often in my thoughts and then prayers about juggling your competing demands.

We'll need to pow wow about what to do with our GREAT MARRIAGES cell group since Lawrence and Jen are gone. Important to talk aboutyour thoughts, as well as Cheng and Craig's needs. Bless them, they said a while back, this is the first time in their Christian lives that they've actually looked forward to going to cell... I have loved seeing Craig warm up to you two. When they were dating, they had a bunch of negative comments from 'friends' at church about their hopes of staying together. He's such a new Christian and has so much to learn...and yet has a lot of pride covering up his lack of spiritual maturity. I know that he has never had an older male Christian friend. You and Cheng are my dearest Singaporean sisters in Christ, so it has been an indulgent joy for me that you have gotten to know her a little.

Here's where we're coming from: As we started this group, our thoughts/needs were, first deepening friendships in a context of our common faith and being married. Starting with a low-key (not lots of reading or homework), pretty safe subject that will help us gel as a group -- build trust, history, memories, and an ability to get below the surface with one another.

Jim and I are at a place in our marriage where processing our "timeline," "purpose statement" or thinking about the future are helping us get reaquainted and better understand each other. We guessed that each of us as couples would even learn some things about our mates for the first time. We thought that this might be a good exercise for all of the 4 couples in starting out, before deciding if we want to stay together to tackle a tougher subjects like what it take for each of us to have a great and Godly marriage.

I think I can understand what you listed about what you want in a small group, and I think that your statement that you're not a "people person" makes our felt needs so very different. For Jim and I, it's been a long 5+ years of not having much fellowship with any long term, deep, meaningful, enjoyable and transparent friendships.

In these 5 years, we have been (in different settings) praising, worshiping, praying, and hearing from the word with people who always feel like strangers. The superficiality of hundreds of acquaintances here, added to our long term loss of deep friendships from a lifetime in LA, was the "method to our madness" in having our GREAT MARRIAGE times together be so relational. I've been growing in my understanding of the practice of the presence of God, so even though we haven't spent great amounts of time dedicated to prayer or worship, our times of joking around the meal have an awareness of the presence of the Lord in our midst. For me, and the way I'm wired, it isn't a matter of "either/or," spiritual, academic or a party, it's less dichotomized...

I get worship, I get times devoted to prayer and I get Bible study on my own...but it's been through our small group, that I finally am feeling that koinonia, that I have local brothers and sisters who I care enough about to be praying for regularly through the week, OR I feel may care about me enough to think of me, and maybe pray for me, past the greet-your-neighbor moment in a worship service. Admittedly, hearing from other friends that they have been in a typical Friday-sing-pray-study small group since coming to Singapore, and they don't feel any real bonds of kinship with their group, has made me desperate that we NOT be like that.

OKAY...enough about this...we can talk when we meet!

August 2002 Our "Great Marriages" cell group sends Lawrence and Jen off to Beijing as "Tentmakers"

July 2002: We can get parents to let their children come to play if we make it an "event," so we decided to celebrate Tyler's 9 1/2 birthday to get Bob Chua over afterschool!

Can't Say "I WANT" Until November

To Grammy Lynn:

A few weeks ago he was desperate for a certain toy that was more than he wanted to spend of his own money, and more than we'd pay just for the fun of it. You know how Tyler gets OBSESSED about wanting stuff. And he'd just come back from getting some goodies from the Coventons the week before.

The thought crossed my mind that if you were around you'd be driving him to Toys R Us the next day and buying both he AND Cameron one! I even thought of calling you, and then a day or two later I realized that it was only days until Tyler's half birthday...what a great excuse to spoil him! I suggested we'd pay 1/2...he thought that was agood idea but ended up we settled on him paying about $10 US. We even had a cake! Took some pictures. Made it a family DATE NIGHT. Cameron even got the dreamed of little star wars action figure he'd been dreaming of.

But the deal is, that neither of them can use the word "WANT" with us, or with the grandparents, about any toy until November (when it's time to write a Christmas list). If they find there is something they begin to want they have to write it down and save it until November!

SO, all that said, both boys would be tickled at any small amount of cash you'd want to "reward" them with. With Cameron not getting allowance yet, and the toys they like being the same, I'd say make it the same amount.

Cameron is tackling some pretty hard Chinese (he writes quite a few, and reads more than 75 words - more than Tyler had to at this age because Tyler was oldest in his classes and Cameron is the youngest so he's more stretched, and not the top student like his brother. In fact, the way Cameron sees it, he's just glad he's not THE worst in class!). He will soon finish his 100 reading lessons, and knows he will get a bike for that!

MAKING FRIENDS: A Dog Helps in Meeting People

Virtually all the Christian ministry expats send their children to the International Community School. We do spend a lot of effort connecting with "referrals;" friends of friends who are here only a short while. I must say, it is easier to make these connections with a car. I found myself questioning whether I wanted to spend $35+ on taxi fair to just go meet up with someone I'll never see or hear from again since most of these connections never turn into real friendships. These connections rarely come to much more than another name in the address list. Guess it's the nature of being an ex-pat. So many people are transient and you treat most of your relationships like a cocktail party. Jim doesn't seem to mind it, but for the kids and I it's gotten really old.

I have had a once a month prayer group with Kim Burchell and a few other American women - that has been great. And occassionally we see the Griffiths- the family who did the baseball league last year, as well as this new Australian family across the street. We see them a couple times a week now!


August 2002 National Day celebrations in the park across the street.

Thanks to the dog Rascal, who needs a walk in the park 2 times a day, we're starting to recognize familar faces of people in our broader neighborhood who are also out exercising regularly. I've made a decision to look as many in the eye as I can make eye contact with and say, "Good morning" in English or Chinese. Try and get them to smile back. It usually works. And now, a few familiar faces light up and initiate a greeting when they see us!

I was just visiting last night with my artist friend from England. She's caucasian I met here in Tampines early on while I was grocery shopping. She's a bit rough around the edges and I'm always very bold about where my opinions about how we live come from (the Bible and a faith in Jesus). It's nice to have someone here who initiates with me. Her children are grown and she just married her Muslim Singaporean boyfriend who is 15 years younger than she is! She's been here 12 years and has a really bad attitude about the gossipy unfriendly locals, so I was lecturing her: "You can't let them get to you, you must "get to them." Go overboard in being nice and friendly. There's no way these people will ever change unless someone shows them a different way to treat people!"

I've had 2 calls in the past week about acting opprotunities for Tyler and I. One a TV production company that does children's shows and another one that produces short shows that are shown in hospital waiting rooms - Health TV. Supposed to be shows with local humor about hospitals...lighten up the atmosphere. The producers are thrilled that Tyler can speak Chinese and are thinking up ways to use him.

(from an email to Grammy Lynn)

CRM Worldwide Conference, Venezuela

What a Godward organization we've joined! I am always amazed when I get to know others with CRM. Very humbling to have fellowship with and be a part of such a gifted, saintly group of peers!

The speaker was captivating - John Piper - inspiring and pointed us to passion in worshipping God as the ONLY thing that will give us satisfaction in this vapour we call our life; and how He doesn't need us; and a fresh perspective on serving him from our weakenss (sessions were refreshing and thought provoking - and convicting as well!). I was really honoured and a little stressed when the CRM president asked me ahead of time to coordinate 4 dramas to set up these teaching times for such a preacher (I've read 2 of his books this year - A Hunger for God and Desiring God . If you haven't read them...add them to your list!)...I only had a little more than a week ahead of time with notes he'd emailed on what he'd preach about, and didn't have a clue who my "talent pool" was. But it was entirely Divine how it all came together flawlessly and beautifully with just the right people for every piece.

Like Eric Liddell (Chariots of Fire), I sensed God's pleasure in the process of doing what I love to do, and the execution of it too. I know that He was guiding and inspiring in the preparations for it. It was a gift to me to be asked, when no one in the organization has ever seen my work - AND so very personally rewarding for me since I love integrating the theatrical in worship, know how to, and I really haven't had an opportunity for the 5 years I've been gone from California. I know more times will come in the future, but this opportunity was very special.

Remember the old hymn FOLLOW ME? "I travelled down a weary road and no one seemed to care. The burden on my weary back had bowed me with despair...." Wow. Many at the conference got sick from the food, or the water, and I wasn't spared. The last morning when I was set to sing this hymn dressed as a pilgrim...set up as starting from a seat in the house and walking down an aisle to the stage in front, across and out a side stage door at the end of the song... I was so sick, dizzy and weak, that when an extrememly gifted violinist started her Applalachian style accompaniment, I didn't know if I would stay standing when it came time for me to get up and sing. Jim told me later he had never heard me sound better. I felt so much power in my voice. When I got to the last verse and was kneeling on the stage belting out, "These are the words I hear him speak to me: If just a cup of water, I place within your hands, then just a cup of water is all that I demand, so if by death to living they can thy glory see, I'll lift my cross and follow close to thee..."

No one needed to tell me later that God spoke to them in that song. His presence was evident. What a tangible application to the lessons God is teaching me!

BREATH: Psalm 39:5

by k!mberly

I read in the Bible that
"Life is a but a breath."

A vapour.
The breath that rests on the cold air of a frosty morning.
Puuhhhffffff.
And in seconds is gone.

I hope the breath of my life will be
Good breath.
Not bad breath.

Seconds
Only.

And I'm prone to the
Halitosis of self absorption.

I hold my empty cup
To you God.
I'm ready to gargle again.

I want
Breath
That won't be wasted
On complaints or criticism.

I want
Breath
That will waft a blessing
On those few other vapours
Who are sharing these seconds with me.

I want my
Puuhhhffffff
To raise a delighted eyebrow
Not wrinkle up a nose.

Oh God!
Fill my cup with
That sweet fragrance of Christ.

His vapour was even shorter than most.
Yet,
For the joy set
Before him,
Endured the CROSS.

No complaints.
Puuhhhffffff.
His vapour on earth
Now long gone.
Ascended.

But his fragrance
Remains.
Spread by my joy.
By your joy.
In the seconds we have left.

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."

II Corinthians 2:14,15

Love/Hate on the 4th of July

July 2002: Our "Great Marriages" cell group celebrates the 4th of July with us.

Happy 4th of July!

I'm having a love/hate day with Singapore today.

Had a beautiful time last night with 3 Singaporean couples, our closest friends here, to celebrate our 4th -- they were all very game and festive. I told them all when they greeted me they had to say, "God bless America!" Since it was the first 4th of July since 9/11, which, as I've written about before made me terribly homesick, and which was why I was feeling extrememly patriotic. Loads of red/white/and blue, a BBQ, we all sang the National Anthem and God Bless America etc.. Pretty fun.

Then we got home at 10:15PM to our little suburb of highrises, parked our car in a loading area, and in the 4 minutes while we were taking the sleeping Creasmans up from the car, some good-for-nothing-that-God-loves-as-much-as-me walked by and stole 2 bags we'd set by the car - containing Jim's work clothes & shoes, house keys, his cellphone, a couple of treasured coffeetable books about America (one new one from my mom on the heros of 9/11), and a silly pair of size 11 wooden shoes (Cameron's souvenier from our layover in Holland last week). I immediately took the dog for a walk -- partly to blow off steam, partly seaching for the offending terrorist (well, ok, "petty theif") so I could get back my stuff (I was confident that I am bigger than whoever it was that took it), and partly asking God to give me a heart that wants to pray for this person and all the people who live by the "finders-keepers" rule in life.

I know it's just stuff, but it makes me SO mad sometimes. We've had more than enough of this kind of petty theft in a nation that's known for it's low crime rate. We have an unseen Enemy who doesn't want us to like it here!

Hit by a Motorcyclist

I was hit by a speeding motorcyclist yesterday - with his girlfriend on the back. Malay muslim kids. The way they flew and rolled in front of my car I thought they'd for sure be dead, but after hainging around at the site for all the police reports we went to find them at the hospital...only abrasions. I shared merely that God loves them and surely has a plan for keeping them alive, and that the instant of the crash, I prayed for their protection as I saw them rolling. It is illegal to share "Christ" with Muslims in Singapore, but I have heard stories of conversions when Jesus appears to people in dreams...so as they are in the hospital and recovering, pray that Jesus introduce himself as the one who saved them...twice. Once yesterday and once 2 thousand years ago.

I'm a bit shook up too. This is the 3rd auto accident in owning our car for 9 months (and cars are about 4xs the price here), I've had a robbery (the 4th of July), been served for a law suit (the 10th), a parking ticket when I was not parking illegally (last week), and had a man practice a lewd act on me while studying in the library the day before yesterday...then the accident yesterday where I was sure for an instant that my car had caused 2 people to die...hmmm. With our influence growing in the circles we've come to serve, it just makes me convinced that we're making the enemy angry...and with this encouragement and God's grace, I can keep my head on straight during the day. But last night I had trouble sleeping...

July 2002: Our Thai helper Loonni performs for the first time in her life. Her Thai church is having an outreach for local Thai workers.

Psalm 39:5

I read in the Bible that

"Life is a but a breath."

A vapour.

The breath

That rests on the cold air of a frosty morning.

Puuhhhffffff.

And in seconds is gone.

I hope the breath of my life will be

Good breath.

Not bad breath.

Seconds

Only.

And I'm prone to the

Halitosis of self absorption.

I hold my empty cup

To you God.

I'm ready to gargle again.

I want

Breath

That won't be wasted

On complaints or criticism.

I want

Breath

That will waft a blessing

On those few other vapours

Who are sharing these seconds with me.

I want my

Puuhhhffffff

To raise a delighted eyebrow

not wrinkle up a nose.

Oh God!

Fill my cup with

That sweet fragrance of Christ.

His vapour was even shorter than most.

Yet,

For the joy set

Before him,

Endured the CROSS.

No complaints.

Puuhhhffffff.

His vapour on earth

Now long gone.

Ascended.

But his fragrance

Remains.

Spread by my joy.

By your joy.

In the seconds we have left.

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."

II Corinthians 2:14,15

June 2002, Venezuela: Kimberly leads some of the overseas CRM children in a multi-language worship recitation: SHOUT FOR JOY.

Layover in Europe on the way to South America

JUne 2002: Tyler and Cameron in Brugge, Belgium


June 2002: With friends in Belgium
Abigail, Oliver and Brock Wells

Looni Gives Her Heart to Jesus

So, after my spontaneously invited dinner guests left, and the kids - with one friend over to spend the night - finally fell asleep; after Loonni came home at 10 from her first experience meeting Thai Christians and attending a worship service (Last week we gave her some Thai tracts and a gospel of John, This week I found a Thai church, and took her there this afternoon). She came home to tell me she's given her heart to Jesus and can't sleep she's so excited. Cameron came out for a drink of water and I told him to ask her...

So he says in Chinese, "Loonni? You love Jesus now?"

She touches her heart, "YES! I do!"

He turns to pour the water and says in Chinese. "That's good. But not as much as me. I love him the MOST!"

I've Had a Great Day Because...

I've had a great day. Even though my new video player has joined the ranks of our many Asian appliances that don't live much past their warranty, our mailbox today had not one but two packages from Yorba Linda containing WEST WING my favourite show...on video. YEAH!

I've had a great day. Even though part of my day included a cursory perusal through the pile which has accumulated on my desk (and the floor around my desk), I'm happy and busy with "Rainbow Fish" rehearsals.

BUT My efforts have unearthed the following urgent items:

the application for a dog license,

a notice that our foreign worker levy was not automatically deducted from our bank account in April and at the point of the notice, they hadn't received my check (another fallout from the delay with SCEM!),

a notice of a warrant for arrest of the owner of this apartment (I made a call which, though automated, revealed that the arrest was coming from a summons from the Broadcast Authority - an entity we didn't know until this year needed to be paid annually for the license to have a radio or TV in your home),

the accident report for our run in with the motorcylist May 1st (insurance said to file the report at the car repair, the car repair has told me to first file the form with my insurance company),

the rental agreement signed in January that needs to be taken to some office called the Inland Revenue Authority for some kind of official "stamping,"

and the notification forms for Tyler's change of school that needs to be filed at Immigration (I've been there twice, the first time alone, in December, I found out he needed to be with me for a picture and he'd already gone with Jim ahead of me to China for the holiday, the second time was the day I had the car full of kids was in a rush to get one of them back for an appointment and spent my time at the Immigration building in the parking lot exchanging particulars with the driver of the car I hit while trying to park).

I'll get to it tomorrow.

It was a great day. Even though I took my car in to Honda for the routine 60,000 mile check up yesterday morning and I still don't have it back...(you know standard check: check the tires, change the oil and transmission fluid, check the underside for rust, give it a good waxing and vacuum, and make sure the engine is running properly?) By 5:30PM today they finally returned my calls to say it was ready ($717 total bill - good thing I told them to skip conditioning the upholstery), but I'd have to get to the shop 1/2 hour away within the next hour, and at the time I had a guest over for dinner. I'll go pick it up on my good day tomorrow.

I had a great day because the kids and I took Rascal for a long walk just after breakfast. And even though this intended aerobic walk for cardivascular fitness didn't get my heart rate above 100, even though Cameron pooped out and we sent him up the elevator early, and even though Tyler got smacked in the mouth from walking behind me while I was swinging my arms (trying to get my pulse rate up SOMEHOW). Even though they won't let dogs on the track at the stadium, and I was resorting to calling my sons derogatory names like, "You coupl'a LADIES!" to try to get them to pick up their pace, I finally gave in. Tyler and I ended up just strolling through the park hand in hand enjoying the morning and the fact that he's already 9 and still likes holding my hand, and I've adjusted to the tropics enough that it didn't feel scorching hot, yet.

I had a great day because I find that the boys actually like study time when I'm around. Tyler did 45 minutes of a Chinese revision computer game while Cameron watched. Tyler read and reported from his WHAT YOUR 3rd GRADER NEEDS TO KNOW book (he learned about quilting), and both he and Cameron practiced their penmanship. Tyler told me last week he thought it was impossible for his writing to improve. I told him his writing was bad because I had not forced him to tediously practice his penmanship perfectly when he was in kindergarten (for which he then said, "And I thank you for that!"). So, after I gave him the "PERFECT practice makes perfect" speech, we made an agreement for this first week of the holiday: We're devoting 7 days to building the strength and coordination in their large AND small muscle groups, so along with the morning brisk walks (drags), they've agreed to submitting to daily practicing their penmanship to see if their writing improves. I hope I'm right in guaranteeing that it will.

I had a great day because I finally had an opportunity to treat my Australian neighbor to the pedicure I'd promised for her birthday present...Loonni watched all the kids in the afternoon while Jackie and I had an hour and a half being pampered at the nail shop in the Mall (our Tampines Mall has one of the only 6 nail places I could find in the phone book).

I had a great day because I had a chance to slip into Starbucks for about the 3rd time all year and treat myself to a frappucino WITH whipped cream.

I had a great day because the infamously busy dramatist and Faith Lew came all the way out to our suburbian condo to brainstorm with me ideas of what she can to teach Chinese 9&10 year olds in a drama camp in a Yunnan village next week. I taught her the ideas for teaching English that Tyler and I had used in his kindergarten class in Kunming and she was excited about these ideas for breaking up her standard drama teaching in Mandarin with some fun ways to get kids comprehending English (and it will really impress the regular teacher and parents!). We had a simple meal of some Chicken alphabet soup I'd thrown together and gave Faith our homemade flour tortillas to try for the first time (she loved the Pace salsa almost as much as she liked all the stuff we have hanging on our walls and setting about the house), and then we sent her on her way to her next rehearsal.

I had a great day because after dribbling and shooting practice (in the house on the tiles and against the wall) with our playground rubber ball, I can see marked improvement in the boys only after 3 days. To celebrate, Tyler turns on the electric keyboard to an automatic song, crank it up to the fastest it will play and do some crazy dancing until we're all sweaty and ready for bed.

I had a great day because when we stopped what we were doing because we heard a man's voice (a neighbor) yelling and carrying on angrily, I asked Tyler if my hollering ever sounds like that; and his eyes got really big and he said, "No." I told him that when I hear someone yelling like that I always like to take a minute to pray for the person who's being yelled at, and then for the person doing the yelling, that they will somehow find peace and patience in God's love and through his power.

I had a great day because we turned on the bedroom airconditioner and read more from Corrie Ten Boom's THE HIDING PLACE, and I get to be the first one who enlightens the boys to this kind of Godly courage, and give them their first exposure to that awful war, by means of the people who emerged from the horrors with their strong faith and convictions in tact. We finished the chapter, Cameron had fallen asleep, and Tyler spontaneously threw his arms around me and said, "I love you mom."

I had a great day because I didn't clean a single dish, mop any floors, scrub one toilet, wash or iron one item of clothing, I didn't even make my bed; and yet my house looks almost spotless when I turn the lock on the front door and turn off the living room lights at bedtime. I was teaching Loonni how to cook something and I joked about my being a bad wife because my cookbooks are still so "new" after 16 years of marriage, Loonni told me in her broken Chinese, "Oh, boss-lady, that is not true! You are a good wife! Wahh, I've never met anyone who can do so many things as you!" (when I told Jim this later, he joked, "Yes, and in her 28 years she's met SO VERY MANY people in her village and factory-work experience!" The rat!)

I had a great day because Tyler's last words when the lights were turned out were, "Thank you God for giving me such a neat home." I look around in the dark at their clearly cluttered small room, shut the door of his room and put away a few of the kids books still lying around on the floor by the bookshelf in the hall. This IS a fun house, even though it's just an apartment, even though they have so much homework, even though there's no carpet to wrestle on. There's something interesting to look at, play with, or learn about everywhere you turn. And there's heaps and heaps of love here too.

Mother's Day 2002 - An email heals an old hurt

I want to tell you something about how God prompted you to write me your sweet note on "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY." He has used it in a special way. I think that you'd be blessed by the reminder of how God is working in and through us, and orchestrating the events of our lives and making all things beautiful in his time.

It's a holiday I am particularly NOT fond of because of our years of childlessness. For awhile, before Tyler came, I actually stopped going to church on this particular weekend. Even now I am always so tenderhearted toward the singles who yearn to be married mothers, or single moms who don't have a husband to rally the kids to worship her for the day, and infertle couples who face the unknown of whether God will give them the desires of their hearts. Worshipping on Mothers day is a weekend I'd just as soon skip...and all that hoo haw of the gift giving and recognition!

My MOST painful VIVID memory I recall everytime I even THINK of mother's day. It is something that happened on a mother's day when I was visiting your Sunday School Class years ago before God chose to give us Tyler and Cameron. They were passing the box of corsages, and doing the fussing over the women, and the box went past me without my even touching it. The woman next to me made a flippant comment. She meant it lightheartedly, "Well not for YOU! ....Maybe someday!" but I, in a state of hopelessness felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach and wanted to say, "Maybe Never!"

Here's another MAYBE: Maybe, after your sweet timely email, God can help me not to replay that scene next year, and be able to enjoy the ceremonies of the day!

Dear woman, thank you a million times for your support, care and encouraging words over the years. You are a JEWEL! And thinking about you always makes me smile!

Kimberly

On "HONK" and Being Different...

I saw HONK! yesterday afternoon with Lucilla.
It's a sweet wonderful new musical about the Ugly Duckling.

Everyone else in the family quacked, and he HONKED!

Wish you could've seen it with me. We would've wept together!
Because of having just talked to you the night before, I was especillay tender toward the mother - she really loved her baby and even though she diddn't really "get" him, she stood up for him to others and went searching for him when he was missing.

Your call meant alot to me.

And then this recurring song "DIFFERENT." The lyrics touched me on many levels...Lucilla sitting next to me, single and an artist in singapore (who's parents are both deceased), my always having been the odd one in our family, Tyler's being the only caucasion in his school and his being forced to study Chinese, and Cameron's having been adopted and the issues he'll have being brown. People are forever asking "Why he so dark what?"
You'll have to see it when it comes around, or pick up the album. It's the kind of show we'd have done at RHCC for dessert theatre - a great message and uplifting! So different than the rest of what's coming across the secular stage these days.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day.
I love you so much,
and miss you terribly.

Kimberly

A Bit About Singapore and the Pleasures of Pets

from email with Elaine Bent, Texas

E: You all are on my prayer list, and I pray for you every day. I pray all will continue to be successful and that the bumps in the road will be smoothed out by God.

K: Thank you! This past week was REALLY full of difficult things that I won't go into, and it was a WONDERFUL week of joy and strength. I'm sure because of people praying after I'd send that last email.

E: I finally found out where Singapore is! Malaysia. You are quite a fer piece from China, Lady. I remember hearing about Singapore during W.W.II. And I knew it was Asian. That is all I knew about it. Oh, yes. The Japanese invaded it, too. I assume that in Singapore you are not under threats to be a missionary like you were in China. Since China is so much against missionaries, how do you go to China to teach and not be at risk? I have read about their treatment of missionaries, and you told me how careful you all had to be while you were there. My ignorance makes me afraid for you when you go there. I believe God will be with you, but I guess I am just a coward.

K: Philippians 4:13! Jim just got back last night from being in China - a 10 day trip. Meeting up with leaders of various ministries and denominations there. There are dangers, but there's a real excitement about what God is doing , and the thrill of the sensation of being on the Front Lines rather than in a more supporting role here in Singapore.

Singapore is a city nation - an island -- which has been independently governed for 35 years (used to be under Birtish Rule, and then part of Malaysia), now neighboring countries are really jealous because of Singapore's proseperity and modernity. It's a pretty sophisticated place, an oasis of civiliation in the middle of so many developing countries. Of course, we think it still has a ways to go in their civilizing (as you've read in my many emails!), but it is a remarkable little country about the size and population of say, Houston. They even have their own media - magazines, news, TV shows, movie "industry," Singaporean "stars." For such a little place, they are really into being recognized on the world scene! Kind of a "small man complex" we've got the world's best zoo, airport, largest hotel, largest fountain, even just got in the guiness book of world records for having had the largest line dancing party! Last year a church's community services did a fund raiser and made it in the book for largest tea party (6000).


E: Your boys sound like they have adapted themselves very well to their new situation. I know you are very proud of them. And a puppy! How they must love that!!

K: Our little puppy has brought joy to the boys, but I love that little creature too! Besides Paul, the other woman who is working with me to offer training to church drama teams has two girl kitties at home; her babies. I now really know I'm her friend - she just asked me last night to feed them while she's on vacation (Good thing I have a car! It's still a 20 minute drive, but it is easier for me to do it with wheels than asking someone who'd have to walk or take a bus to her house!)

Praying for One Another

From and email to Tambra Murphy a college friend...

I think we ALL ought to do more praying for each other, me included, cultivate that attentive mind & heart to the Holy Spirit's promptings to pray for one another. I don't really understand prayer much, and don't have a "gift" of intercession, but I know some do, and this week I've felt this kind of spiritual weakness. Star Warish kind of weakening of the Force.

Over the years I have always been frustrated by missionaries who through the
way they communicate seem to think that they are the only ones doing "God's
work." I have strong convictions that committed bankers, or real estate
agents, teachers, or grocery clerks, or anyone who "has been crucified with
Christ" letting Christ live in and through them, brings him glory, and
influences others for Truth as much (and sometimes more) than a Bible
translator or church planter who's packed it up and gone "to the ends of the
earth." Every believer hears God's call on their life, and every calling is
different vocationally, but there is no difference in our calling to be
wholly his whatever we are doing!

Blessings & Joy,
Kimberly

Choosing to be Thankful

I need to persevere in prayer!

We need to keep asking others for prayer as well!
This week I've had an especially strong sense of this.
That realization of our need for Divine protection, and how the prayers of others give us some kind of stronger "covering" or protection.

Surely every believer is dependent on God and need the prayers of others; but being in vocational cross cultural ministry, I think we are especially targeted by the Enemy. He's not happy about our life choices, our wholehearted submission to Christ, or that God is blessing our efforts.

I know I'm preaching to the choir, but it's not enough to be abiding in Christ, and develop spiritual disciplines, and on our own be asking for his power and protection. We need each other!

Perhaps I've sensed this recently because we've been reporting to our supporters how great things are going this year. Maybe they've relaxed in their intercession for us, thinking, "Thank you God that you've brought them through those hard times of adjustment..." We've convinced them that we're not suffering in Singapore, God is blessing the work and "enlarging our territory," and yet...

Yesterday afternoon, we attended a disheartening time meeting the Tampines Cell Group from our church (the first meal with anyone from our church after attending for 10 months). I spent the time at this lunch constantly asking God to give me his love for the other people in the room. In my flesh I was tired of initiating in conversations and meeting for the x-thousandth time timid-yet-proud people; feeling like an alien under slilent scrutiny, bored, critical; and even angry with the other children. They were deliberately ignoring Tyler and Cameron. One boy Tyler's age rebuffed every effort Ty made to initate conversation or play (at one point, all the children got up and walked out of the room when Tyler asked them what they wanted to do). I know this sounds pitiful, but I spent part of the afternoon hiding out in the kitchen/laundry room, wondering how Jim could be so great at mingling, while watching the rain fall out the 11th storey window and holding back the tears. Me. The extrovert. Not anymore.

Jim drove us back to Tampines in order to see a matinee of Spiderman (which we loved and I'm sure was written by Christians), and before parking, we were in another car accident (the 3rd one in less than 2 years, and the second one in the car we purchased 6 months ago). As I opened my door to get out at the curb, two people on a motorcyle were trying to whiz past in the small amount of space between our car and the curb! They ran into the edge of my door, seconds away from hitting me (or Cameron, if he had "hopped out" right when I asked him to). I was so panicked that the motorcyclist was injured, not thinking first of fault, just sick at the thought of how in an instant life can change. I found myself thinking, "And I haven't even made it in to report the last accident yet, let alone paid the attorney $1500 for the damages to the other parties car." "Wasn't I just yesterday telling Jim how scared I am driving with all the motorcyclists zipping around on these roads?"

And then I was suprised by the overwhelming compulsion in my heart:

"I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! I just want to GO BACK TO AMERICA where these kinds of things don't happen with such regularity!!!"

The young man must have thought it was his fault because his knee was obviously in pain, his bike had some damage, and our car obviously will need repair but he didn't want to file a report, or go to the hospital, or even give us his name. We called the police and they just told us to report it to our insurance. The Honda repair guy and I are already on a first name basis after being in for repairs for wrecks and other kinds of freak damage 3 times in 5 months already, so boy is he going to be suprised to see me again.

The enemy was at me yesterday in obvious ways: Rehearsing in my mind what seems like an extraordinarily unusual amount of accidents, mishaps, stolen bikes (and stolen other things...), broken appliances (etc.), sicknesses (that we can't seem to get over), even just a spirit of clumsiness: daily spilling and dropping and breaking things at home... How easy it is to entertain what feels like a justifiable pity party!

But I listened this time to the Holy Spirit and chose to honour God by thanking him, remembering a thankful heart can help us be resistant to discouragement, negative thinking,and cynicism. I realized in amazement how God protected us. How close we came to getting hit by that bike. I was reaching for the handle of the car door to get out 3 seconds before, and decided to turn back to the kids to say something first...

How very thankful I am for that obvious act of protection, and all the other times he protects us unknowingly.

How thankful that so far, inattentiveness or clumsiness results only in breaking a small thing like a new vase before it's out of the wrapping from IKEA, and not a broken back, or worse. The enemy wants me to be fearful, seeing danger everywhere (a new sensation for me), when God wants me to find courage through him, and trust in his protection. And he wants us to thankfully recognize his sovereignty in all things so that when he allows pain, we know it is only his divine joy that will give us strength and joy to not be defeated.

Amen?

Fondly,

Kimberly

WISH YOU WERE HERE! article for "Newsbreak"

Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton's Newsletter

WHY DON'T YOU JUST POP ON OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD?

Singapore is positively exciting, exotic and really easy for even the most pampered tourist. In fact this little city/nation is practically perfect if you only stay for less than a couple weeks. From the northern part of Singapore you can see Malaysia, and from the south you can see Indonesia. So, while you're here, you may want to add a couple other stamps to your passport. You think Southern California is multi-ethnic? Wait ‘till you see Singapore! We’ve Chinatown, little India, Malay Village as tourist attractions, but it is a virtual mosaic as you walk along the streets. We’ve the world’s best zoo, terrific shopping, GREAT FOOD, and efficient and clean public transportation. Stay in a nice air-conditioned hotel and we’ll show you the many wonderful sights and give you a window into our lives here. Besides what you’ll find in the tourist books, here’s what else you’d get if we could host you here.

We may make you join us for a bit of Chinese studies. We’ll go over some new vocabulary, or sing along with some Chinese karaoke! In Singapore it’s not a necessity, but speaking Mandarin goes a LONG way with people we meet and work with. At a lunch last week a Singaporean asked me to order, hoping we might get some freebies thrown in! Children take compulsory "Mother Tongue" in school, which is either Mandarin Chinese (78%), Malay (15%), or Tamil - an Indian language (7%). They take school pretty serious here, as well as instilling National pride in the children. It is quite a sight to pop by school at the end of the day and see the flag lowering ceremony with 1000 children singing the National Anthem. Our children are nearly the only Americans we know attending local schools; but so far, they are flourishing.

From this technologically sophisticated island, we spend a lot of time on the computer. Email is the way we do nearly EVERYTHING, even with Singaporeans; or SMS. Do you have that back home? My goodness, the way we send these messages back and forth! Sometimes I just think, “Dial the number and let’s TALK to each other!” And the Internet. Broadband! Wow! I even do much of my grocery shopping on-line. I don’t have to ever feel “out of the loop,” even living on the other side of the world! I have a database of sketches for worship on the web and people are downloading it from all around the world. Recently another Christian in theatre wrote me that his newest musical “Gospel Blues” was having it’s first showing and being broadcast over the internet from the Pacific Northwest. So, I didn’t even have to miss out on a premiere! Let’s all sing “It’s a Small World” shall we?

About bringing along a care package with food: NO need! We live out in the suburbs with Singapore’s "heartlanders" (ethnically traditional immigrants), but we have discovered many downtown stores cater to westerners. I stumbled upon a store a few weeks ago which had handmade tortellinis, escargot and a few other things I would never even buy from an Irvine Ranch or Bristol Farms! If we want it, and are willing to pay for it, many American food items can be found. After 5 years in Asia, we have become quite used to the foods here too. In fact, we prefer it! My little boys would rather have instant Chinese noodles over PB&J for lunch! We find we just don't crave old favorites, AND since there's no way you can bring us Krispy Kremes, we'll just have to keep satisfying the donut cravings when we're in the States!!!


As we’ve learned from living in Chinese culture, when it comes to eating out, we will fight you for the check! It is our pleasure to treat you, because God has been faithful to us. In fact, we have not yet had to re-use ANY tea bags. It is amazing & admittedly sometimes scary to live by faith as far as finances go. Like most missionaries, we are financially supported by individuals who sense God’s leading to be part of his work here). This still blows me away, even though it probably shouldn't. We have always supported other missionaries and still do. It's just kind of surprising when you're on the receiving end! We live like the average Singaporean in a Government Housing Apartment. We’re not extravagant, but we’re comfortable. AND HERE'S THE BEST PART (just so you’re not shocked when you visit): we have a live in domestic helper! YES! Someone else does my house work, and God has brought an honest, hard working girl we can trust. Isn't that strange? We live in what looks like a clean inner city ghetto – in groves of high-rise concrete buildings -- but nearly all the professionals who live around here (who don’t have extended family living with them), have foreign maids. So, as they say, “when in Rome…” It is quite a luxury!

But just so you don’t think it’s all wonderful, and plan your visit to be a more permanent one, I must warn you about adjusting to the life here. The HEAT and HUMIDITY is insufferable, you will have virtually no circle of friends or family as support, it is a crowded city culture where people have built not only high buildings but high walls around their hearts. They are very busy and don’t warm up to foreigners (‘cause most expats are here a short stint, stick together and don’t warm up to them). There are no babysitters. Singaporeans, if they do speak to you, love to comment on how easy it must be to adjust to their convenient lifestyle (not!). Honestly, after our 2 years of language study in China, I was really ready to get back to MINISTRY in Singapore! My husband and I had taken a year searching the world for where we BOTH could best use our experience and giftedness as missionaries. We’d sensed a clear leading that Singapore was the place and we moved to the suburbs to dive in to typical Singaporean life. But, while waiting for a suitable maid, homemaking means dishwashing by hand with no running hot water, more clothes to wash & iron because we sweat so much and the children wear uniforms to school, walking in the heat to and from the grocery store, mopping, lots of dust from local construction, and keeping track of children’s school bus schedules, (one son got home from school at 7:00PM!) To tell the truth, living here felt like a 4 star prison! I felt like I’d come to Asia to grow old. But God had (has?) some important whittling to do with my character, true love for him, and understanding that He doesn’t really give a hoot what I accomplish for him, but who I am in him. Sometimes this whittling has felt more like a sledgehammer (especially when we had daily jackhammering on our building for months on end). But having journeyed this valley, I feel I can better empathize with weakness, loneliness, and what it’s like to feel nearly hopelessly lost even though I'm eternally saved. I'm (a bit) more humble, slower to be critical of weakness in others (unless it is poor customer service), and hopefully a better encourager. Maybe I’m even more Christlike!

But we didn’t move here for the lifestyle. We live overseas because of our conviction that Jesus didn't lie when he claimed to be "the way, the truth, and the life" and that "no one comes to the Father except through me." There are so many people who haven't even heard his name yet, let alone have had a chance to decide to follow him. It's not very popular in these pluralistic days to be so "narrow minded," but the Bible is pretty clear on God's jealousy about being the only God, and Jesus' claims to offer eternal salvation only through his sacrifice on the cross.

I'm glad to live in a generation where missions and missionaries are compelled by the truth but full of grace. There's a lot more intentionality about loving people, serving people, blessing people, and along the way sharing our convictions and letting the Holy Spirit convince people. Our calling here is to enable the local Christians. Empower them. Our success comes from seeing them fruitful as witnesses and missionaries. So that's the motivation for leaving the comforts of US. We found Singapore to be a place where both Jim and I could use our unique strengths (his in leadership development and mine in theatre) to be part of God's kingdom work in this world. Just a couple of little specialized cogs in the work He's doing around the globe.

Let me know when you’re coming!

Why We're Here

I loved reading your letter and it is so refreshing to hear someone say they love their live! You are one who has heard the applause of heaven, and chosen joy instead of grumbling! YEAH! I'm reading a book by Max Lucado right now with that title, THE APPLAUSE OF HEAVEN. It's great to think that God is our cheerleader he loves us so much!

My boys are 9 and 5. Tyler finally came after we'd been married 8 years and has his dad's head for math and his mom's artistic temperament. We didn't want to go through the what-ifs of infertility again, so we adopted Cameron, who is practically perfect except that he is so tactile & sensual, we'll have to lock him up at puberty and arrange an immediate marriage! Both boys are bilingual...we all now speak Chinese!

That is something that until 1996 I had never even considerred and I'm still kind of trying to figure out what my place is in this Chinese world. I do have this deep sense of conviction that there is a reason, so I persevere at a bit of language study to keep up with Tyler and review the easier words with Cameron. It is NOT EASY to learn Chinese!!! Singapore's national language is English, but all children take "Mother Tongue" in school, and for Singaporeans this is either Mandarin Chinese, Malay, or Tamil (an indian language). They take school pretty serious here, and we are the only caucasian foreign family I know who has children in the local schools taking Mother Tongue (virtually all Americans put their children in the American School, or homeschool). We work pretty hard at not putting too much pressure on the kids and having fun, and it is working for now. It helps that both boys are NOT shy, and have a healthy self-confidence (Ty's is a bit TOO healthy).

There's a lot of aspects of living overseas that are fabulous, and others no so great (biggest being missing family & friends, missing convenience, familiarity, and the terrible heat and humidity here!). My husband Jim and I felt that our lives had been pretty cushy and we needed the stretch of living overseas to deepen us through some hardship (imagine, wishing hardship on oneself!). We still have a lot of growing to do, as we have seen sides of ourselves come out in the pressure that we didn't know were there!

But the main reason we live overseas is because of our conviction that Jesus was who he claimed to be, and he didn't lie when he claimed to be "the way, the truth, and the life" and that "no one comes to the Father except through me." In college I became really convicted about Jesus' last words to "go into all the world and make disciples." The last words of anyone are pretty important to pay attention to -- and these were the last words of a man who had just proved by resurrection that he was the incarnation of the living God! There are so many people who haven't even heard his name yet, let alone have had a chance to decide to follow him or not. It's not very popular in these pluralistic days to be so "narrow minded," but the Bible is pretty clear on God's jealousy about being the only God, and Jesus' claims to offer eternal salvation through his sacrifice on the cross.

I'm glad to live in a generation where missions and missionaries are more grace-full and we don't go around beating people over the head with our Bibles. There's a lot more intentionality about loving people, serving people, blessing people, and along the way sharing our convictions about Truth. So that's the motivation for leaving the comforts of US. We found Singapore to be a place where both Jim and I could use our unique strengths (his in leadership devleopment and mine in theatre) to be part of God's kingdom work in this world. Just a couple of little specialized cogs in the work He's doing around the globe.

And it is amazing to live by faith...individuals financially support us as God leads them to "partner" with us...that still blows me away (even though it probably shouldn't - we have always supported other missionaries and still do - it's just kind of suprising when you're on the receiving end!). We've been taken care of financially thus far, and have had the money to live like the average Singaporean, make visits to the USA every 18 months, and go back to China on school holidays every year and a half too, AND HERE'S THE BEST PART: like many Singaporeans: we have a live in domestic helper! That's the GREATEST perk of living here! Someone else does my laundry, ironing, and dishes and house work. Isn't that strange? We live in what looks like a clean inner city ghetto - a high-rise concrete building -- in a grove of otehr high-rises -- but all the professionals who live around here, without extended family living with them, all have foreign maids! Very strange! We were without this kind of help the first 9 months here, and without a car, and honestly my life felt like a prison sentence in hell (it is very hot here and the apartment isn't airconditioned). God did a lot of stretching for me that first year (as in "my identity is NOT in what I accomplish for him, but who I am in him") but I am so glad that we have a helper now so that I can have the liberty to do something besides hang the laundry out to dry (and get mildewed in the humid weather!).

So, I get out and do some coaching, performing, writing, teaching in using drama as part of worship, outreach etc. I won't go into it all, but I'll copy a short monologue I'm helping a woman work on this week. I wrote it for an Easter pageant the year Tyler was born.

OK. Enough from me this morning!

It was great to hear from and about you. Send me your address sometime.

Blessings and continued GREAT joy,

K!Mberly

No Need for a Care Package

About a care package, We may live in the suburbs with the "heartlanders"(old Chinese immigrants) of Singapore, but we have discovered some of the more cosmopolitan stores downtown that cater to the ex-pats.

I found JASON'S a few weeks ago while waiting for Jim downtown. This oasis had handmade tortellinis, ESCARGOT and pate to name a couple of the things I was suprised by (and would never buy!)!

We've even found a Tony Roma's. So, I don't think we've any shortage. We have become quite used to the foods here too (in fact, my boys would rather have instant Chinese noodles over PB&J for lunch!). Over the last 5 years, we find we don't crave old favourites (guess we're not as homesick as we were!). AND there's no way you can send fresh donuts...so we'll just have to satisfy THOSE cravings when we're in the states!!!

(from an email to Jill Kaminski)

Should We Move Back to China?

Jim and I talked last night about the possibility of moving back to China in a few years...I told him my pre-requisite was that both of us take a course in general handyman stuff or we'd end up divorced in China. Stuff breaks ALL THE TIME there and neither of us can do much more than put in a lightbulb (and sometimes have trouble with that!!). We'll see how the climate for the ministry we can do opens up there. I could forseeably continue networking and writing over the internet from anywhere. Can you imagine how suprised people will be when they order a script (rarely happens, but) and I write back and tell them to mail the check to CHINA?

Funny thought.

RE: When Feeling Ignored, Assume the Best of Others
I have decided that every time I feel slighted I'm going to assume it was an error, or unintended. And when I approach people about it, it always turns out that this is true. I almost missed out on making one of my best friends in Singapore by not following up on one thing that she'd not responded on which felt like a real "in your face" kind of rejection. However, it turned out she'd overlooked it, and felt terribly.

I'm enjoying reading THE APPLAUSE OF HEAVEN right now, among other things. I need to go over the DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF little book too. Finally feeling like I've a healthy rhythm to life with a car, a dog, the kids happy, and being in a play that rehearses in the mornings - which is affording me an opportunity to really get to know some people. I'm starting to feel like myself again.

(from and email to Dave Calkins)

A Big Week in Singapore

We had a great time in KM this December. We still really miss China, and for us it is even more refreshing to visit China than the states (no feelings of obligation in China - just the joy of seeing people we care about and seeing who else we'll meet while there). It was a perfect trip even with the TIC's we encountered daily (stories from China are SO much more interesting than here!)

But we still feel we're best used for the kingdom here (though we're learning to break our Americaness that it's all about personal fulfillment and more about joy in obedience!). I am beginning to thrive...though it's been a rough road.

I've done some workshops and a small bit of writing and performing. I have a small network of professionals I meet with to plan ways to network the believers here for developing and mutual growth. I feel really confident that after 2 years, in our different arenas, Jim and I have met the "who's who" and He has given us great favour with the influential people.

This week is big. Our organization is being established as a SIngaporean mentoring society, and the board meets for the first time this week - April 3rd at lunch. I feel amazed at the dream team who's coming on the board. Definitely from Him. If I talk about this with my drama friends, it really starts to sound like "name dropping," the names are so well known and respected in the Singaporean C circles, so I have stopped, unless they press me!

I begin rehearsals this week for the first major production I've committed to. A local club is putting $30,000 a production into a children's community theatre and has hired a gifted guy to produce them. Since it's a professional show they rehearse during the days and the boys will be in school, so I agreed to attend rehearsals and understudy (and mentor). We feel it's a great way to get me out of the house, challenged, and to get to know the director (whom I greatly admire). The cast who are mostly younger Singaporeans making a go at professional theatre and also know - to some degree- our friend.

So, I'm excited and a bit nervous. It will take some juggling, and we have a new helper whos still got a lot of training to do to feel confident. After 5 years of learning to live with feeling inefficient, and unproductive, or that my role is administration and wrestling with computer problems, and then the big lesson that came with it: how my identity is in who my Dad is and not what I do...which I'm not sure I've learned! I feel a little rusty about "getting out there." The producer wants me to direct in September, but we haven't found a suitable show yet (I just read a new musical version by Judith Viorst of Alexander and the Terrible, etc, it was good!), but the thought is pretty frightening at this point, though I imagine once I feel back in the swing of things, I'll be gung ho!

Kids are great. Cam just got over chicken pox, and is a charmer. Tyler is the class monitor, still doing Chinese, and has been doing work for commercials for local TV (English!). Both are sp. sensitive and Easter really touched them at different points during the week of talking about it and watching videos...so that's the most important thing!

Cameron's Confession

I just put the boys to bed.
They had a fun day.
I did too.
But we're pooped.

First the Science Center (which is so well done here) which gives them a taste of science in their lives, and they always learn something new. We never stay too long, so we can go back again and again.

Then to Jurong Water park which the children loved, but was a guardian's nightmare. Due to the school holiday, the place was PACKED with rowdy kids of all ages and also full of those large innertubes konking into everyone. I'm surprised we found a locker! Kim had Luke and Addie (still not a swimmer), and I'd invited the Australian neighbor Jackie with her fearless toddler plus a 3 year old and 7 year old. All of our husbands are in Australia this week. We stuck together, and made clear to the children that we were not wandering off. We pow-wow'd and scared-them-silly about the dangers of the crowded pool, and made strict guidlelines for where they could go (ie, not past the light blue tiles (shallow section) in the wave pool).

We convinced the kids that one harrowing group-trip around the "lazy river" was enough. They didn't complain too much... because today it was "log jam river" with all the big clueless kids horsing around. For me, I was "ever dililgent lifeguard in the river" chasing/watching over the 4 boys while Kim and Jackie kept hold of the 3 little non-swimmers in a pretty swift current. We did the wave pool and spent time in the kiddie wading pool (even that was nerve wracking trying to keep tabs on where they were all the time). We took turns letting the big boys go with one of the moms down the tube slide in another pool. Phew! I was glad I'd only put 2 hours worth of parking coupons on the car!

Now the car is nearly out of gas and we're out of parking coupons. Tomorrow is the magic lantern show (a group from America who tours these authentic historical shows...part of a children's art festival), and Ty's TWO Disney shoots (Cam will stick with the Burchells after lunch while I take Tyler).

At bedtime we reviewed some Bible verses and listened to an Adventures in Odyssey CD set Tyler just got from FEFC (we've never had any of these and they are great!).

Then Cameron didn't want to pray. For the FIRST time. He usually eagerly goes first; and it always goes something like:

"Thear God, thank for this daaaay. Thank you for meeee. Thank you for I love my mom, and my daaaaad and my bruthurrrr. I love them. Thank you for I have a nice dog. And my maid Lili--I mean Loonie. Thank you that [something that happened or impressed him]. You are so biiiiiig [or mighty, or strong].
I love you God. Amen.

But tonight he was tight lipped.

I prayed then Tyler, and Cameron still said, "I don't want to talk to God."

I was lying on his bed with him tonight so I leaned over and whispered, "Is there something you did today that makes you embarassed to talk to God?"

"Yes."

"You know, you can tell God and me what you did, and ask him to forgive you, if you are sad you did something. He wants to forgive you, but you have to ask him to help you."

He took a deep breath, folded his hands across his chest and looked up in the dark and confessed his sins for the first time:

"Thear God. I know you don't like it today I go in the dark tile of the pool. Where it was deeper. My mommy said “no” and I did it. And I know it was scary with the water. And the kids. And when she said to stick together I didn't want to listen or have seff-control. I know the Devil is a roaring lion and he want to get me and devour. So please God, nex time, help me be seff-control. And I'm sorry God I want to make you happy.....Amen."

We lay there for a few minutes and had a little talk about what it was that scared him in the water, and why mommies and daddies, and God make rules that seem dumb, or not so fun, until we find out they were to keep us safe...and why we must learn self-discipline when we are 3...or 5...so that we learn to use our strength and God's strength together when we get big and the Devil's roaring gets louder, and his bites get more painful.

He's getting it; the little peanut. Hope it sticks.

More later.
K!

Me In the Middle of Turning 40

I'm just sending this to a few people who know me pretty well, and I know won't get freaked out by this letter!

Greetings from Singapore where though our work is heating up, it actually seems cooler everyday!

(Actually it's not, but our bodies are adjusting somewhat!)

We sent our pregnant helper Lili off to her home in Indonesia this morning and, barring an act of God, a new gal from Thailand will come next week...(though I am a bit guarded in being excited that we found a replacement so soon. Read: SHE ISN'T HERE YET!) Get this: Her name is LOONIE! The 9 months of delays last time we were looking for a maid was that we were holding out for a Mandarin speaking gal. This time there were actually a few options right away (could be because the economy is down?). So, they say she speaks Mandarin too (worked in a Taiwan factory for 3 years). We shall see!

Lili's had the SUPER intense kind of morning sickness where for weeks she can't keep anything down...all day and night, stays in a dark room, sleeps all the time. Bleeding stomach, raw throat, obviously no energy. We would have sent her home much earlier, but Chinese New Year made getting tickets a bit troublesome (impossible), with everyone traveling to hometowns for the holidays...She refused to see a doctor because a confirmed pregnancy would mean she could never return to work in Singapore. She's lost A LOT of weight and last weekend I was actually checking in on her to see if she was breathing still, thinking through who our guests have been. We might need them for witnesses that we were not mistreating her...in case she died! OKAY, now I know you're rolling your eyes that I'm such a "drama queen." I'm serious! It's been just a little scary.

Thankfully, she perked up a bit when we were able to get tickets confirmed on Monday, and I found some Ensure and she'd kept little bits of that down for the last 2 days. She's on her way home now with the last of her wages in hand. We'll continue to pray for her health, her future, her enduring commitment to follow Jesus in spite of the very hard life of poverty she has ahead. Last year we "adopted" a Compassion Int'l boy from Thailand (though evey one knows so little of our giving actually GETS to the kid, it is SO helpful in teaching the boys about giving and poverty for them to have the pictures and do the correspondence with this child). Waving goodbye to Lili, I wish there was a corruption-proof way to "adopt" her 8 year old boy and this baby on the way. But the Indonesian postal service is so corrupt, we all believe that the money would never get there, and then if it did, I don't know that she'd use it wisely (ie. she has no savings from working with us for nearly 2 years, but she's bought her family a TV and her boy has a new bike). The world is so full of poverty and people who don't make good decisions. God give us generosity and wisdom in how to truly HELP people!

This weekend, if you think of me, would you pray? On my 40th birthday, I'm conducting my first church drama workshop: "Beyond Bathrobes and Sandals." The one last October was postponned until now. I scheduled this one, so that I'd make sure that on my BIG DAY, I'd be doing something I like, with people who are fun and a couple who are friends! (OKAY McNair: so it's nothing like throwing a party for myself on the 50 yard line of the Colliseum...or Jim's Line Dancing party with 120 of his dearest friends, but it's the best we could manage here! And I'm not complaining!)

I've been a bit "blonde" about the administrative details, partly because the Enemy (grrrr) arranged for me to do all the housekeeping (let's not even talk about the 6 weeks of ringworm which has infected us...it IS GETTING BETTER). This has left me a bit unfocused the last few weeks. The other part is because having been let down a few times, I didn't want to put my heart and soul in it planning to the nth degree and have to change it at the last minute to accomodate for people not doing their part, or late registrations etc. (I'm sure you've had your share of those experiences even in the States, and I'm learning to flex with it here).

This MORNING after sending Lili off, while changing sheets to prepare for overnight guests, (yes that's right we have guests the next 2 nights), the church hosting the workshop called to say the space they'd offered last November (and confirmed a week ago) wasn't going to be available afterall. When I hung up the phone I had a hard time gearing up for the final administrative details of the workshop (as you may remember, administration is not a joy for me). I sat on my bed and asked the Lord, "Would it be a sin to open a bottle of wine at 9:30AM? Or should I just take a nap? Can I be angry and sin not?" Instead I read a bit of Ecclesiates about how life is vanity, and thanked him that through thick and thin He's my friend. Then, God arranged for better location (not just nicer, but free!) for the workshop before my boys got home from school!

There are 4 churches are sending teams (some really terrific adults, some who took my playwriting class last fall) for 3 training sessions. It has been really fun to plan it with 2 other Singaporeans who have become my dear friends in the process. So, I'm as Paul says, "knocked down, but [my sense of humour is] not destroyed."

(While I'm fretting my petty details, Jim has a big day today: He met for breakfast with retired Anglican Bishop Moses Tay. Perhaps THE MOST RESPECTED CHRISTIAN LEADER here. An ideal mentor if there is one! They met in order for Jim to ask him to be the President of the Board for CRM Singapore. We are pretty sure he will say yes. Jim then was hosting a luncheon for the SW China network of churches and agencies here who are collaborating on behalf of the advancement of God's kingdom in that part of the world. Pretty exciting!)

Gotta go now to do homework with those two little creatures I'm responsible to raise right.

(You got the New Years picture right? They are as smart as they are cute! Cameron just hobbled over to me leaning on a stick as a can and asked for money like a beggar. Children learn what they live...)

Have a great day dealing with your hassles!

LOVE from the other side of the pond,

K!Mberly

Answering Questions about Life Here

from an email to Elaine Bent in Texas.

E: I am glad you have met and are involved with some theatre people - both Chinese and American. You need to have that involvement to feed the special talents God gave you. Are the people in your class Chinese, Americans, or mixture?

K: All Singaporean Chinese. They speak English, but don't have the breadth of vocabulary we use. They've all learned a lot, and so have I. Expectations were a little high. No emerging playwrites out of the bunch, but every person grew creatively, and in their understanding of plays, and were glad to have taken the class. We'll see what develops in the future.

E: They are so lucky to have you to teach them script writing. I wish I could be there for that class, too. When you "go off" to write, do you have something special already in mind?

K: Usually some seed of something...theme, issue, conflict, circumstance. A few times we did helpful "flash writing" exercises. One we did was just like acting improvs. Everyone submitted character ideas, conflict, place, and positive and negative character qualities. Then they drew these slips and had to write a scene. It just got them writing about something. Which was the hardest for them to do - just START.

E: I can't believe BOTH of your boys are in school! They do grow up so quickly. Do they go to schools which are taught in Chinese? (I am assuming that Singaporean use Chinese for their national language. Am I correct? I really don't know.) Do you have to do some teaching of your own at home?

K: My boys schools are in English - and that is the National Language! (The English isn't always completely STANDARD English, but pretty good, just a strong accent, especially their classmates). They each have an hour+ of Chinese each day as part of the curriculum. All children must take Mother Tongue (one of three languages offered in the schools). Tyler says, can't I just call English my Mother Tongue and forget about Chinese? He and Cameron are both doing well. Their verbal skills are better than many of their classmates, and Tyler regularly scores in the high 80's on his exams (many of his classmates fail! - can you imagein faling a subject in 1st and 2nd grade?)

E: Do have a TV?

K: We have cable which offers a few extra stations. Cartoon network, National Geographic, etc. We're pretty well off in what we can get here. I have my mom tape The West Wing for me when she can. We are starved for intelligent conversation and bright friends with bigger vocabulary than most here, so we get our stimulation from having vicarious relationships with this TV President and his liberal staffers.

Letter: 2 Working moms San Pedro CA and Singapore write...

How I have thought and prayed over your letter these last couple of weeks! I was so sorry to hear about how the economy has affected your financial stability, dreams, and not the least important your faith in God's goodness...

You said,

I LOOK AT PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT SEEM SO STRONG IN THE LORD AND SO DEVOTED TO HIS PURPOSE AND THEN HAVE TO ASK MYSELF IF MY PROBLEMS ARE BECAUSE I AM TOO CAUGHT UP IN THE WORLD'S VALUES? LIVING IN PALOS VERDES AND BEING SURROUNDED WITH PEOPLE THAT SEEMINGLY HAVE MONEY TO SPARE AND MOMS THAT GET TO STAY HOME WITH THEIR KIDS AND TAKE TENNIS LESSONS.....I HONESTLY STRUGGLE WITH THE SIN OF ENVY AND JEALOUSY.

You are right to say that I don't know you well, but I do know you well enough to observe that you've faithfully been making lemonade for as long as I've known you.
And it doesn't help to live where you do, and have all the tennis moms and PV Homes and school district etc etc to compare yourself too, and what with the Big PRAYER OF JABEZ being all the rage last year...how can you not get depressed when you feel you've been faithful to the Lord, and ask for fish, and get what seems like stones instead...YES! I do understand that.

I knew before we came back on our last visit to USA "home" in June that it would be was the first time I would wrestle with the green-eyed monster.I'd be seeing the lifestyles of my peers, and old friends, and what assortment of things their kids are involved in. I knew because I was experiencing such dissatistfaction with my own circumstances, I knew that the grass of PV would be MUCH greener!

Sitting here at home this month, reading through Christmas newsletters, gives me some of those feelings and doubts again...WHY are we investing our lives like this, when we could have had THIS???? And I revisit with the Lord what is important to HIM, and I feel confirmed in my life's decisions....and then I start wrestling with being judgmental!!! So, see, I'm not such a saint!!

I'm not going to be quick to say "Oh NO you're not too caught up in the world's values!" because I don't know what God's purposes are in bringing you two through this current valley. But I do know that an antidote is to get your eyes and heart off those who (seem to) have more, turn off the TV (with the ads), even go media free for a week or so, so that you don't get bombarded with what you don't have, or aren't like...and it that isn't weird or extreme enough, dedicate yourselves to praying this month for the poor, the destitute, the oppressed, the persecuted.God will use it to bring perspective to your current situation! In those years at RHCC as our friends nearly all bought houses, and we stayed in our apartment/condo, it always helped me to have friends and connections with people who had much less than I did!

There are so many more of these kinds of humans in this world than there are the kind who live in the neighborhoods just above you on the hill...that's such a minute percentage of these "haves" in the world. AND God's promises and love is just as profound and real to the rest of the world's population as it is to Americans, even the blessed welfare recipients in the USA who at least know there will be SOME money coming in. I feel like I'm lucky to have a relationship with the peasant mother of our babysitter in China; she rarely have more that potatoes to eat all year long (if that) and RADIATES the love of Christ, and is confident (most of the time) in his goodness to her. It is SUCH a matter of perspective isn't it? Ah, now I'm rambling... Bless you and keep faithful as you wrestle with these things.